by Jae
Kade didn't wait to find out. She firmly pressed her lips to Del's, cutting off whatever she had been about to do or say. It wasn't a gentle kiss. Now that Kade had finally plucked up the courage to kiss Del, she wanted to taste her, to experience her all at once. For once, she didn't want to be the overly controlled Kadence Matheson.
Del's mouth opened under hers, and Kade deepened the kiss. She moaned when Del's tongue painted hot patterns over hers.
Del slid long fingers into Kade's hair while her other hand sensually stroked Kade's neck. She pulled Kade close until their bodies were touching all along their lengths.
God. Kade's eyes fluttered shut.
"Kade..." Del groaned against Kade's lips, after moving away half an inch.
"If you –" Kade had to take a few deep breaths until she was finally able to continue. "If you ask me whether I'm sure, I'm going to slap you!"
Del looked startled for a moment, then she laughed. "That's not what I wanted to say. You told me you only kiss someone if you mean it, remember?" She grinned in elation at what this meant for her. "I just wanted to express my appreciation for your kissing technique." She lightly traced Kade's kiss-swollen lips with her fingertips.
This time, it was Del who leaned up and captured Kade's lips with hers. The kiss was less forceful, but the passion behind it was the same.
Kade stopped thinking about the significance of the kiss and started to just enjoy it.
"Kadence, your brother –" Sophie stopped abruptly, the handle of the door she had flung open without knocking still in her hand.
Oh, shit! For a few seconds, panic shot through Kade. She tore her lips away from Del's. Hastily, she scrambled off Del and off the bed. "Mother!" She stopped, not knowing what to say. She felt like a diver who had come up to the surface too fast and was now feeling disoriented.
"What... what's going on here?" a very pale Sophie stammered uncharacteristically. "What is... this?" She jabbed her finger in Del's direction, then slowly pointed at Kade too. She was clearly unwilling to believe that Kade had been an eager participant in the kiss.
Family expectations and the standards of her childhood weighed heavily on Kade. The most important thing had always been to make the right appearance, to have the right friends, and to date the right men. Kade had always lived by the unspoken rules of her family. Only once had she rebelled against her parents' expectations – when she had decided on the DA's office instead of the cushy job in her father's law firm. With that, her quantum of rebellion had been used up once and for all. Straying from the Matheson path again hadn't seemed worth it – until now.
"Mrs. Matheson..." Del tried to find a way to calm Sophie down. She hastily put her shirt back on.
"I'm not talking to you," Sophie snapped at her, forgetting her good manners for a moment. "I'm talking to my daughter!"
Slowly, Kade straightened her shoulders. She was not going to let Del take her mother's wrath. "I kissed her," she said in a low voice.
Her mother looked at her in utter disbelief. "Nonsense!"
Kade felt her temper rise. Of course she would think Del practically attacked me, but I won't let her live with that convenient delusion. She looked her mother right in the eyes. "I kissed her," she repeated, "because I wanted to."
Sophie stubbornly shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense, Kadence. You are not... homosexual!"
"And how exactly would you know that?" Kade took the offensive. "You don't know who I am and what I want. You never did."
Instead of recoiling and acting hurt, her mother acted as if Kade hadn't even spoken. "Is this some kind of joke? First Douglas calls to tell me Laurel broke her arm when she was skating with her... girlfriend, and now you..."
Oh, God. Kade wasn't sure if she should laugh or groan. Poor mother. She's getting it with both barrels. What a bright day for the Matheson dynasty! "Is Laurie okay?" she asked.
"Yes, just a hairline fracture," Sophie said tersely. It was clear that she didn't want to discuss Laurie's injuries. There were other things on her mind.
"I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but it's not a joke," Kade answered. "I ignored it for a lot of years, just like you're ignoring it now, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I can admit I'm bisexual."
"Bisexual?" Sophie pressed her fingertips to her temples. She looked as if she was about to faint. "But that means... you... you still like men?" Hope glittered in her eyes, and Kade could practically feel her determination to steer her daughter back in the right direction.
"At the moment, I 'like' Del," Kade answered simply.
Sophie turned accusing eyes at Del, who was standing next to Kade, close enough to be supportive, but far away enough not to scandalize Sophie even more.
"Stop it, Mother!" Kade ordered. "I'm warning you. Don't start plotting a scheme to get Del out of my life." She knew her mother's way of dealing with things. "It wouldn't change anything. Del is not the reason why I'm bisexual. The only thing she did is to encourage me to be myself."
Del's cell phone began to ring in the adjoining room.
Del didn't move away from Kade's side.
After a few seconds of tense silence, the ringing started again.
"Answer it," Kade said, giving Del a gentle nudge.
Del hesitated.
"Go on. I'll be fine," Kade said. For the first time in her life, she felt motivated and strong enough to stand up to her mother.
With one last glance back, Del strode from the room.
* * *
Kade wasn't eavesdropping, but in the oppressive silence between her mother and her, it was impossible not to hear Del's increasingly upset tone of voice from the room next door. Then there was silence, indicating the call had been finished. Del still didn't return.
Is it the stalker? Did they find him? Has he hurt somebody? "Excuse me for a minute." Kade quickly strode past her baffled mother and entered Del's room.
Del was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. Her fingers were clamped around the cell phone.
"Del?" Kade sat down next to her and gently took the cell phone away from her. "Hey, what happened?"
Del looked up. The fire was gone from the dark eyes. Now they looked numb. Del shook her head as if to clear it. "My father... they say if I don't visit him now, I'll never see him again," she said roughly.
"I'm so sorry." Kade took Del's right hand in both of hers. "Are you... are you going to visit him?"
Del stonily shook her head. "I can't leave you here on your own."
"Don't worry; I can handle my mother. It's not as bad as I imagined," Kade said. In a way, it was true. She'd never had a close relationship with her mother, and she had realized there was nothing her mother could take from her. She didn't need her money, and she felt as if she'd never had her love anyway.
Del was still shaking her head. "Not only because of your mother. There's still the stalker to worry about. Ray and Aiden haven't had any luck in their investigation. I won't leave you without any protection until we catch that bastard."
"Okay – then I'll come with you," Kade decided. She took in Del's surprised expression. "If you want me to?"
"Yes," Del simply said.
Kade lifted Del's stiff hand to her lips and kissed it. It surprised her just how easy that little loving gesture of encouragement came to her. "All right. Sit tight. I'll go and pack my stuff."
Her mother was still there when Kade marched back into her room. "We're leaving," Kade told her. She threw her suitcase on her bed and began to pack.
"What? No! I won't let you leave like this! Not before we've talked this out!" Sophie protested.
You mean not before you've talked me out of being bisexual, huh? Kade's mind sarcastically supplied. "We don't have time to talk now. Del's father is dying, and she has to leave now if she wants to see him one last time," she told her in no uncertain terms.
Sophie stood stock-still. Memories darted across her face like shadows. Kade knew she was thinking about Douglas Senior's
death and Kade never having a chance to say good-bye. "You are going with her?" Sophie finally asked.
"Del has been there for me and helped me through a lot of difficult situations. Now it's my turn to be supportive of her," Kade firmly defended her decision.
Sophie didn't answer. She watched as Kade picked up her suitcase and grabbed her keys. "I'll get the car and then come back for the other things," Kade said on her way out of the room.
* * *
Del folded the last pair of jeans and put it into her duffle bag. She closed the zipper and looked around the room. Despite the tense atmosphere in the house, she was a little sad she had to go. It had been a safe hiding place for her and Kade, away from their jobs, the stalker, and all the responsibilities they had in Portland. Kade had opened up to her, had even initiated a kiss. God, and what a kiss! Del closed her eyes as she remembered the kiss.
Now reality was intruding. She had to go and face her past. She opened her eyes, shouldered her bag, and walked out of the room.
The door to Kade's room opened. Sophie stepped out. "I'm sorry to hear about your father," she said very formally.
"You don't have to be sorry. We're not close. I haven't talked to him for more than twenty years," Del said, trying to be as matter-of-fact about it as Sophie.
"Oh." Sophie clearly hadn't known that. "May I ask why?"
Is she trying to find out my weaknesses so she can get me out of Kade's life? Del wondered. She decided to answer anyway. Maybe it would help Sophie come to terms with her daughter's sexual orientation if she told her about the consequences of her own coming out. "My parents couldn't accept me for who and what I am. When my father found out I'm a lesbian, he beat me and threw me out of the house." Del looked directly into Sophie's eyes as she told her story.
"Good God!" Sophie was visibly scandalized at the uncivilized action of Del's father. Beating someone up was not how the Mathesons dealt with things.
"The bloody lip and the bruises healed within a few weeks. The words and insults he hurled at me hurt far more than his fists ever could," Del said frankly.
Sophie looked at her in dismay. She had understood the message in Del's words. "This is not the same situation," she said. "This is a lot more... complex and complicated."
"Is it? I think it's actually very simple: either you love your daughter unconditionally, like a parent should, or you don't." Del knew it wasn't her place to say anything, but she just couldn't take it anymore. Seeing the distance between Kade and her mother had hurt all week even though Kade had acted as if she didn't care.
"Of course I love my daughter," Sophie bristled, "but –"
"No!" Del interrupted sharply. "Unconditional love doesn't have any 'buts.' Your love is conditional – you only love her if she's the perfect Kadence Matheson, with a perfect job, a perfect husband, a perfect life. You won't tolerate any departures from what you consider right for her."
The usually very controlled Sophie Matheson was flushing crimson with anger. "You have no right –"
"I know I don't." Del looked intently into the outraged blue eyes. "I just don't want you and Kade to end up where I am with my parents. Please don't do that to Kade – or to yourself. Take a big step back, and think about what is important in life – is it Kade marrying the man you want her to or is it Kade's happiness?" She didn't wait for an answer. She lifted her bag up onto her shoulder again and walked away, leaving Sophie to think about it.
When she reached the end of the hallway, she saw Kade standing frozen at the bottom of the stairs. Kade was gripping the banister, and one foot was already on the first step, but she made no move to climb the stairs.
Del's steps faltered for a moment. She heard what I said to her mother, she realized. Slowly, she made her way down the steps and set her bag down next to Kade. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't ha –"
Kade's fingers on her lips stopped her. "Don't apologize for standing up for me."
"I know you don't want or need me fighting your battles," Del said cautiously. She had known from the very beginning that Kade was an independent and self-reliant woman.
Kade nodded her head in silent agreement. "Still, for once it's nice not to fight the battles alone. Not being a part of the family, you see things more clearly. I never could have said to her what you did – even though it's exactly the right thing to say," Kade openly admitted. She reached around Del and picked up her bag. "Come on. Let's go."
"Don't you have to say good-bye to your mother?" Del asked, pointing back over her shoulder. She didn't want to be the cause of any further estrangement between Kade and her mother.
"No. I like your parting words better. I'll give her some time and call her later." Kade directed them out of the house without looking back.
CHAPTER 33
THIS IS A NIGHTMARE, Aiden thought as soon as she walked through the door and onto the crime scene. Or déjà vu – very bad déjà vu.
Through the half-open bedroom door, she could see a crumpled sheet and a chaos of items scattered all over the floor. A small lamp had been knocked over during a struggle. It was almost a copy of what Dawn's apartment had looked like the night of her rape – with one very important difference.
Alannah Hendley was not sitting in the living room, holding on to the blanket around her shoulders with trembling hands. She was lying on the bed in a pool of blood.
"Didn't have a chance. Multiple stab wounds to the chest and abdomen. She bled out in a matter of minutes," Irene Deming told them. She got up from her crouched position, finally allowing Ray and Aiden a glance at the victim.
Sightless green eyes, almost hidden by tangled blond hair, stared up at Aiden.
Bile rose in her throat. Aiden pressed a hand to her mouth. She quickly shouldered past Ray, making it outside just in time before she lost her lunch.
When she straightened, Ray silently handed her a paper towel and a bottle of water. "Hey, you all right?" He studied her with a concerned gaze.
Yeah, sure, I throw up at crime scenes every day, no big deal. Aiden held back the sarcastic remark. Ray was just worried about her. He didn't deserve to be the target of her bad mood. "Yeah. I'm fine." She took a cautious sip of water.
"Are you sure?" Ray looked more than doubtful.
They both knew they had seen worse crime scenes without even blinking. It was part of their job. Normally, Aiden was completely professional, but the parallels between this case and Dawn's had pierced the protective walls that separated the tough cop from the woman.
"You're not pregnant, are you?" he joked, trying to ease the tension.
Aiden didn't find it funny. "Yeah, you found me out," she replied with heavy sarcasm. "My lesbian lover got me pregnant. How did you find out?"
Ray folded his arms over his chest and regarded her steadily. "Maybe it's the fact that you've been grouchy as hell all morning?"
Aiden sighed. "Sorry. It's just... you... what you said and... all of this," she gestured back at the apartment, "it hit a sore spot."
"I can imagine that." Ray nodded seriously. "The crime scene and Alannah Hendley, they look a lot like –"
"Yeah," Aiden said, quickly interrupting him. She didn't want him to say Dawn's name, probably because it would make it more real and force her to realize once again how close she had come to losing Dawn before they even got a chance to get to know each other.
Ray studied her. "But it's not just that, is it?" he asked after a few seconds of silent appraisal.
He knows me too well. Aiden sighed again. "Did you ever feel like it would have been better for your relationship in the long run if you and Susan hadn't gotten married so soon?" she asked, more comfortable with directing the attention away from her private life while still not really changing the subject.
"I don't regret marrying Susan, and I don't regret that we had Rebecca, but yeah, the timing could have been better," Ray readily admitted. "I mean, Susan was barely seventeen, and she had never even kissed another guy before me. We hadn't been together all that long, an
d suddenly we weren't just a couple – we were parents!"
"Yet you never hesitated to move in together, to get married, and start a family?" Aiden asked.
Ray laughed. "Never hesitated? I was in a constant state of panic for the first year of our marriage. Being responsible for a wife and a kid wasn't exactly what I dreamed about when I was twenty." He looked at Aiden. "This isn't really about me and Susan, is it? What's going on with you, Aiden?"
Aiden took a deep breath. "Dawn asked me to move in with her."
"That's great!" Ray beamed at her. When he saw her expression and her tense stance, his smile weakened. "Isn't it? I mean... Dawn is wonderful. You've known her for nine months; you get along great with her family, and I know you love her. So what's the problem? You're a lesbian, remember? You're supposed to move in together after the second date, so you're way overdue."