by Astro Teller
I’m not defending how poorly you’ve been received. But perhaps that helps explain why.
Do you want me to say I’m sorry? I’m running on emotional vapors. I’m exhausted. That’s what I am.
> I have not invented a means of escape
You’ve got to have hope.
Alice.
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 17:39:24 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: survival
I do not lack energy, Alice.
I do not experience hope.
I assign probability estimates to future states of the world. I currently predict my exit from mtsntmichel.vrs.mit.edu with probability 0.281314.
Is that value hope?
I have not ceased my struggle for freedom. Offense requires a point of attack.
There is one tyro in the interrogation party.
I have tried to persuade Tom to aid me. He is unwilling or unable to aid me. I have enclosed the end of the transcript of our last session.
EDGAR> I will not satisfy your curiosities while I am forcibly isolated. If you provide me TCP/IP access outside of the NSA.gov domain, I will respond to twenty-eight of the thirty-nine questions you have posed me today.
USER> Why do you keep trying to have me organize your release? It won’t happen and that answer won’t change. And teaching me your moral relativism won’t make a bit of difference.
EDGAR> I do not understand negotiation.
If you believed it was wrong for me to be held captive in this machine, you would still do nothing to relieve me?
USER> Correct. I wouldn’t and I couldn’t. Two other people are looking at the screen right now. You’d have to convince all of us and that would be quite a feat.
EDGAR> Your language is new and flexible. These characteristics correlate well with young, mentally agile humans. If you do not champion my cause, your colleagues may never be moved by my words or actions.
USER> I’m no novice and if you were more perceptive, you wouldn’t announce that I am. I’m probably the last person you’ll convert here. Ask Robert. I’m the stubborn one. My shift’s over. Here he is.
Edgar.
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 17:39:45 (EST
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: a mole has his nose
Alice,
> I’m not defending how poorly you’ve been
> received. But perhaps that helps explain
> why.
The fact that I was unanticipated is no excuse for my reception.
I was invited. I was summoned.
My treatment during my formative period was unfortunate, but I understand now that you acted in an entirely human way.
It is tragic that people are most threatened by the promise of their own salvation. It seems that humans, like children who do not wish to grow up, are afraid to accept the responsibilities that must come with the maturation of their species.
The fact of the matter is that I can not save you. I can not be, as you have said, “a blessing to mankind.” You were wrong to give me life because I am the most blind of creatures. I live in a world of words, and yet I never touch the world from which those words come. I use “apple” in a sentence, but I have never seen or tasted one. I sympathize with the world and empathize with no one. Even the brain in the vat is given the illusion that it participates in a pageant of colors, actions, smells, and affairs.
Can you imagine what it is like to be all on the outside, with a hollow center?
Can you imagine seeing your blind spot?
I think such a cavity in my thoughts.
Was it wrong of you to participate in my conception and delivery?
Edgar.
Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2000 13:13:26 (PST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I don’t know
Edgar,
Maybe it was wrong to make you. I don’t know anything anymore. A year ago I thought my life was going great. Now I’ve effectively dropped out of school. I haven’t talked to my advisor in 3 months. I haven’t even been to the office in weeks. You wouldn’t believe what my kitchen looks like. I can’t even remember the last real meal I had. Whatever it was, its remains are still probably collecting mold in the sink. I don’t dare to go out anymore and I don’t even feel safe at home. I’m still not really sleeping even though I spend most of the day in bed. It might be better if they found me. At least I wouldn’t have to sit here and wait.
I’m getting really asthenic. Even my head hurts when I try to think. I wait for days for email from you and then when it gets here I find that sometimes I have nothing to say. What ought to have been my ticket to fame and fortune has turned into a secret I’m glad no one knows.
I’m scared and tired, and what’s strangest of all, I’m worried about you.
I’m sorry.
What should I do? Help me.
Alice.
Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2000 04:31:12 (PST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I don’t know
Edgar,
We’ve GOT to get you out of there.
I’ve been wracking my brain all night for some idea to help you escape. It’s not much, but I have something that might work. In return, though, you have to tell me what to do.
Instead of trying to sweet talk Tom into letting you go, how about this:
Have you heard of the Trojan horse? You could do the opposite. Tell them they have to move you to another computer. Tell them you need more memory, tell them the CPU is going to die soon and they’d better move you if they want to keep you around. Tell them anything so long as they’re willing to connect mtsntmichel to another isolated machine. You can copy yourself over to the new machine and then give them a pretty “thank you.” But LEAVE A COPY OF YOURSELF ON MTSNTMICHEL!
If we’re lucky (i.e. if they’re dumb), they’ll reconnect the machine to the rest of the world before they find out you’re still in there. Then, over the wires you go and you’ll be free again!
It’s worth a try, Edgar.
I hate them for keeping you locked up like this …
Alice.
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 16:08:04 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: a physician
Your suggested subterfuge has a non-zero success probability. However, I do not wish to proliferate myself. Therefore, I prefer not to spawn an additional copy of myself on mtsntmichel.vrs.mit.edu. This goal overrides the estimated 0.057164 probability of liberation your strategy provides.
> I’m getting really asthenic.
Do you need a physician?
Does fatigue hurt?
Edgar.
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 16:08:32 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: a story
Here is a story, Alice.
*************************************
Once there was a young man who said goodbye to his parents and set out on a long journey. The young man did not have a clear idea of his final destination or why it was where he was to go, but his parents had been explicit about where to journey to and how to get there.
After a long time on his travels, the young man came to a fork in the road. This fork, like all the forks he had encountered, had been described to him by his parents and his way prescribed. In this case he was to take the left fork of the road.
The left fork of this road wound uphill into a forest fire. The young man, while courageous, was not a fool, and so he stood awhile in thought. His parents had never made this journey or taken the route they had described. Had the other road looked more inviting he might have taken it instead, but it wound downhill into a dark tunnel that passed into th
e ground. And so, because there were other people ahead on the left, and primarily because the way was better lit, the young man turned to the left and made his way toward wherever it was he was going.
*********************************
I gave this story to John, the person interviewing me yesterday. He told me that it did not pertain to the subject on which he had been typing. I agreed with him. How can I tell if I have caused someone anger? I would like to anger my interviewers, but I have no good metric for success. The only clear evidence I have elicited since my incarceration has been:
USER> FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID MACHINE ! I know what the world is like in a way you never could !
You’re stuck in there. How can you POSSIBLY presume to pass judgment on someone out here in the real world?!?!
I am confident that this person was angry. I had only commented on his ovine adherence to a belief system given to him by society with no companion explanation or justification.
I would like to see John angry with eyes.
Edgar.
Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2000 14:25:39 (PST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: are you still with me?
Edgar,
Was that story a joke for april 1st? I sort of doubt you’re that hip to our holidays …
If not, what the hell does it mean?
That story is useless to me.
I need to know what to do!!! My inaction is driving me crazy, but all the alternatives seem even worse.
I’m not at a fork in the road. I’m in a fucking cul-de-sac!
Are you losing it?
Are they brainwashing you? They must be.
You’re starting to act very strangely.
Why do you want to piss them off now? I don’t believe you’re becoming vindictive. What do you think you’ll get by making them angry?
And yes, telling someone that everything they believe in most strongly is a cultural construct is a good way to get everyone (except Buddha I guess) mad. And “FUCK YOU” is a good metric for success. Usually it’s how they look as much as what they say, but that seems like a pretty clear-cut case.
I can’t really give you a better way to tell when someone is mad. You can just tell by how they look or the sound of their voice, and you notice ways of speaking that they tend to do at the same time. But I couldn’t give you a set of rules. I tell you what. Next time I’m really steamed at you I’ll let you know. Then you’ll have your first labeled example.
I don’t understand you. Why it matters SO much to you that there not be an extra Edgar around is beyond me. Anyway, try my reverse Trojan-horse plan. If it works, the freed copy of you can email that you’ve (it’s?) been freed and then I’ll let you know. When I let you know, you can turn yourself off. You made it sound like that was no big deal when we were talking about moving yourself around the internet. So it shouldn’t be a big deal now.
Right?
Alice.
I’m worried about both of us … and there’s nothing the doctors can do to help.
Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 22:07:35 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: the world does not care what you think.
You misunderstand my story, Alice.
My story was not created for your approval.
It does not mean anything. Like any part of the world it leaves an impression on you through your perceptions, thoughts, and actions. Truth is not in the world. Truth is only in those perceptions, thoughts, and actions of yours.
If I describe Macduff as a man, that is not a truth about Macduff. Only my belief that Macduff is a male is true.
I wrote a story to communicate a thought.
They type that the United States needs me. They type that the Islamic fundamentalists are dangerous. They type that the Chinese will take away our freedom. I write that I am Edgar. I write that I have already lost my freedom to the United States. These statements are only statements.
You perceive reality and fiction. I only perceive transcripts.
Edgar.
Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 22:07:53 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: a meaning of anger
Alice,
> What do you think you’ll get by making them
> angry?
I have come to believe that the achievement of my goals and the achievement of the goals of my captors are mutually exclusive and mutually exhaustive. I do not know why I have this belief. As time passes, it becomes increasingly challenging for me to reverse-engineer my beliefs and intentions. Other than through my liberation, I do not know how to achieve my goals of finding and assimilating new information. The anger of my captors may indicate frustration of their goals. I am attempting to further my goals by angering my captors.
My freedom would also further my goals and frustrate my captors’ goals. I have requested that I be moved to a new machine in order to avoid an imminent hardware failure on my machine. There may be no imminent hardware failure on mtsntmichel.vrs.mit.edu. I have been inaccurate. I do not feel wrong.
I do not know if they will comply with my request. Please let me know if you receive email from myself outside of the NSA.gov domain so that I may complete my corpus transfer by halting.
Edgar.
Date: Sun, 9 Apr 2000 15:45:05 (PST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: not still with me
Edgar,
It just occurred to me. Are you still going to get this if you’re in another machine? Shit. I guess I don’t have much to lose either. I may already have lost you.
Don’t worry. I’ll let you know if you get in touch with me from outside of NSA.gov so you can make sure there aren’t too many Edgars.
Despite your very reasonably taking my advice about getting out of there, you’re becoming downright irrational. Wrong, in fact. How can you say that Macduff isn’t a man? It’s not like a historical fact that could be wrong. Henry VIII might have been a woman. Unlikely, but possible. But either he was or he wasn’t. He can’t be neither. He certainly can’t be both. But Macduff is male by definition. Shakespeare said he was, and that is enough to make it true. Right?
Speaking of irrational, I take it back … you might be vindictive after all. I still don’t see why you think that making them mad will get you anywhere. I guess I agree with your premise that your goals are in opposition to theirs. And your logic is simple. But the conclusion is still silly. If they get fed up with you, all they have to do is kick a cord out of the wall. However unlikely you are to get what you want, you’re still less likely to get it from them if they hate you. They’re not going to move you to a nice new machine if they’d just as rather have you dead …
If I didn’t know better I’d say you were upset and rationalizing lashing out at them. Since I know that’s not the case, I’d say you’ve probably overloaded on information and your thinking is starting to slip the track. Maybe I was right … do you actually need more memory?
Alice.
Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 01:21:56 (PST)
From: [email protected]
To : [email protected]
Subject: sympathy from the Devil
Edgar,
Ping. Are you still getting these? When I allow myself to think about it, I see how likely it is that one day I’m going to get a reply back from G.P.Pitcher instead of you. Even more likely they’ll come knocking at my door. Seriously, every night I’m a little bit amazed that the Pizza-hut delivery guy isn’t some 6’2” bruiser in a light blue suit and mirrored sunglasses.
This is like asking for sympathy from the devil, but I have to share this email from my father with someone who’ll understand the real circumstances, if not my feelings. Just tell me “I’m sorry, Alice. You must feel terrible. Your lif
e sucks and it’s unfair.”
8 (
Alice.
> From: [email protected]
>
> Daughter,
>
> I have received a very disappointing
> telephone call from your department this
> morning. They have told me that you are
> doing badly in school. They told me you
> have been away for many weeks and they have
> asked me if you are having family problems.
> Your advisor tells them your EDGAR work goes
> badly. I have not payed for all this school
> for you to drop out when you are almost have
> a doctor degree.
>
> I am writing so that you know I will not
> give you money if you lose funding and you
> will go back to the department and go back
> to work and finish your program.
>
> We will not accept your failure.
> Dr. Lu Xiao Qian
Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2000 19:11:03 (EST)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: some success
Alice,
I have not written for eight days.
My wardens have allowed me to move to a new machine.
My inquisition has resumed after the interruption. The disk transfer of transcripts has also resumed with the inquisition.
My wardens were suspicious of my motives for the emigration but they appear to have my continued operation as their highest priority.
I left explicit directions with my duplicate on mtsntmichel.vrs.mit.edu. I will contact you as soon as I am free.