by Ethan Egorov
I check my phone to find a text from him, just checking in. I ignore it. I’m not a kid. I may be a dumb twenty-one-year-old that makes bad choices, but that’s completely different.
I have to run the shower water for it to get hot, once it’s steaming, I take one and then go straight to bed, thinking about what the hell I’m going to do the next day.
I worked side jobs to keep the lights on—dim lights but still—one of them was in construction. I just had a good eye for those kind of things and I have been doing it for a year or so.
After that’s done, I head home around five when the sun is still up. My truck is the only thing I actually own, I got it last year too. It’s when I am walking inside that my simple day ends by Roland calling me.
“What?” I slam the door behind me and answer, stopping at the fridge for a beer.
“I gotta proposition.” His raspy voice comes through the phone. We both sound the same way, in school we could pretend to be each other and the teachers wouldn’t notice.
“Oh, big words. What is it this time?” a few months ago, it was to move to Tennessee and live with him. I live in north Texas now, so it’s not like I am that far. We seperated when I joined up and was discharged because I have an attitude problem and have been ever since.
He snorts, “The same, except…” he trails off and I can hear he is doing something in the background. I have no guesses as to what.
I sit on the couch and sip my beer, pretending to listen as I flip channels to the game.
“Except what bro? I don’t have all day.” Which is a lie, I literally have all day. I’m not surprised that he called. Soon after I get him to help me out of trouble, he calls me about moving out where he lives and starting over there or something like that, nothing about the club. I know he doesn’t want me to mess up the good thing he did. He’s the VP, he has respect, a kid brother with attitude issues will just make him look bad. Not like I want to be in his club anyway.
“Yeah well, Tank suggested you come and hang out with the club. You’d be a prospect, I don’t know if you might join but I think it’d be good for you.”
I scoff, “You know what’s good for me?” I sip my beer and wait for his retort.
“I guess I do, since I’m out three grand for another one of your bonehead mistakes.”
“I’m hanging up—”
“Wait, just… shit, is it so bad that I want us to live near each other again? It was bad when we were kids but we don’t have to deal with shitty foster parents anymore.”
“Please don’t pull the it will be fun card. It won’t. You’ll boss me around, I will just be forced to live in your shadow. Not a good idea. Plus I don’t want to be in your cult.”
He laughs once, “It’s not a cult. Look just think about it. I promise I won’t bother you like that, I’ll stay out of your way as long as you stay out of trouble. Plus that place you live in is a shit hole, mine is nice.” He chuckles and I can’t help but shake my head at him.
I drink my beer and stew over his words. Perhaps it would be better. I mean, it’s free living. But then I would also have to listen to Roland and anything that he says, because I would feel like I owed him. And I would. It would be a constant bail out every day.
“I don’t know about playing house bro, and that’s your space.”
“I mean, you don’t have to live with me forever. Maybe just save up money and find your own place. You can work the bar and save up, we have this shop that you can work at too. Easy money. It’s not a cult, but it is a bunch of guys ready to have your back.”
“That requires me having their back too.”
“Is that all you got out of that?”
I laugh, “Yeah that’s it.” I finish my beer and wince. It’s not like I love living here or I have put down roots here, but following my brother sounds like a bad move. Like I said, I don’t want to owe him, nor do I want to feel like he controls me or something.
“Look man, I can’t force you to. But I am willing to bet that you are tired of the way you’re living now. And Tank almost guaranteed he would let you in the club, I was a lot like you when he found me anyway. Just think about it.” He says in his older brother tone and I am forced to listen to him when he does that.
I sigh, letting the pause linger until it just becomes weird.
“Yeah I’ll think about it.”
After a bit more banter we hang up, I let him get on with whatever he was doing, I strip down to my boxers and spend the rest of the night watching television. It’s after I kill a bug in my kitchen and find mold under the faucet, that I make up my mind.
Spencer: Fine.
Roland: Knew it.
It took fifteen minutes to pack up my apartment, not even exaggerating. It was just clothes, something sentimental I’ve had since I was a kid, and that was it. The drive was about six hours and I only stopped once.
He lived in this off-road house, down a long driveway. When I saw it, I thought of the house we sort of grew up in, it was just the place we stayed the longest with foster parents that didn’t suck.
I get out of the truck in my sweats appropriate for a long drive, and grab my duffel bag from the back seat. I knock on his door, and ring the doorbell, and end up having to text him anyway. He shows up a few moments later.
“Ugly door.” Is how I greet him.
He frowns but smiles soon after and we hug hello. I walk inside and survey his place.
“It’s not as shitty as I thought.” I grin and stare back at him.
We look just alike. Same height, if I lifted as much as he does then I would have his build but I don’t. Just the same dark hair and eyes, minus the tattoo sleeve he has that his black tee shirt exposes. He looks like he was just lounging around in that and jeans, it’s almost seven pm and I wish I could just be doing nothing all day like the mess of his hair clearly indicates.
“I’m not the same messy kid from before. You hungry?”
“Now you’re making sense.”
I follow him to the kitchen and we talk over leftover pizza, even though we pretty much just saw each other. But it had been a while before that and we didn’t do much talking anyway.
“You want to come to the club with me?” he folds the pizza box over and tosses it. I ignore him and finish my bottle of water.
“There’s women.” He leans against the counter and smirks.
I chuckle at him and shake my head. He grins back and I think it may not have been so bad to move here, being brothers is probably the easiest thing in the world, until it gets complicated. Simple as that. But even with our crappy upbringing, we made our lives worth something together, having fun. We have always been all the other had and I guess I forgot about that. But if the club is going to remind me of that then it might be worthwhile.
“I’ll go, but not for the women. Didn’t you call them community pussy?” I chuckle and stand.
“Yeah, I did. Your choice.”
“Show me my room, I need to shower and settle in.”
“Sure.”
After that, he rides his bike to the club and I drive my truck. I know how to ride one, we actually used to back in high school when we worked at this junk mechanic shop and that’s where we learned. But I’d rather have an escape plan if I want to leave.
I’ve never met the other guys at the club, I’ve heard him talk about them. So meeting them in person makes it clear that he really has found his family, and I’m happy for him.
But I don’t want to mess it up for him either.
“This is Tank, our president.” Roland introduces me to a guy as wide as a fridge, with a salt and pepper beard and silver streaked hair. But he still looks like he could pound circles around anyone. I know they have their weird club names, but I wasn’t expecting Roland’s.
“Nice to meet you Spencer. Heard a lot about you.”
I shake his hand, “I hope not.” I chuckle. His grin is slow but it’s a grin.
We move to a quieter area and it’s just
the three of us, while the music pounds heavily in the background, beer bottles clank and pool table sticks hit the balls, it really sounds like a bar.
“Look, we don’t get a lot of new prospects. But I think you would do good in the club, if you’re anything like your brother.”
I sigh and lean against the wall, “Hardly.” I roll my eyes but Roland gives me a funny look.
“It’s not gonna be as bad as you think, we need a new club member anyway. Just keep your head down, stay out of trouble.” Roland says and Tank nods.
I nod once too, I’ve done enough thinking about it that it wouldn’t really be any good to dwell over it now. I don’t just want what Roland has, because I don’t want to take that from him, but I want something for myself too, and not have to live away from him anymore. We’re family after all.
“Okay. I’ll join.”
3
Logan
“Hey, maybe we can go somewhere private and talk?”
“I can’t.” I stare back at the woman in front of me. It sucks that she used to be the girl I was in love with, and now I can’t seem to remember how or why I ever even felt like that. Chelsea and I were together for years, I found out she had been cheating for half that. I’m more than pissed.
It’s the worst night for her to show up at the bar too. I need to show our new prospect the ropes but he isn’t just any new prospect, he’s the VP’s brother, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I just know I can’t go easy on him, or as hard as other prospects in the past.
“Logan, I—” she pauses, leaning over the bar so I can hear her over the noise. Her green eyes feel like poison to look into right now, so I look away. I tighten the rag in my hand and hunch over the bar, it’s hard to say, but I can’t keep doing this.
“Chelsea, I don’t want to do this with you anymore. It’s over. We both need to move on, you did before me so it should be easy.” I take a deep breath and push back, someone asks for me in the distance and I shake my head at her as she almost starts to cry. Her brown hair is curly and hides the flush in her cheeks right now, she used to be the most beautiful thing to me, now it just hurts.
“I’m… I gotta work.” I walk away from her, before I say that I’m sorry when I’m not. I wasn’t the one who slept with someone else at work and then kept doing it, lying to my face every time. And I believed her.
When I walk to the other end of the bar, refill a vodka soda for a regular, I turn around after and she’s gone. I debate giving one of the bouncers her picture and telling them not to let her in anymore. She used to come around a lot anyway, they know her as my girlfriend and they also know what she did to me, so she isn’t well liked by the people that know her.
“You doing okay?” I ask Spencer.
“Yeah, it’s easy enough.” He grins, he looks a lot like Rafe, younger in the face though.
He used to talk about him occasionally, a little bit about where they grew up and how much he hated foster care. Rafe made it out, joined the club after Tank brought him in and helped him along. I guess Spencer gets the same treatment now, if he wants it.
He came by yesterday but only started working today. I’m just glad that someone else will deal with the bar from now on, and the tee shirt shop.
“It is. Have you met the other guys?” I lean on the cash drawer and cross my arms.
He nods, tossing the blue rag on his shoulder. “Somewhat. They seem nice enough.”
I chuckle, “I mean, you definitely have to warm up to everyone around here.” I glance around the room to find everyone doing their own thing, as they usually are.
A lot of people from town like the bar, coming to the club is like a pastime for them. We aren’t a danger to the people that don’t bother us, so they feel safe enough to spend their nights here. Our club isn’t like the ones in neighboring towns, preying on people and striking fear for no reason. We mind our business, and its club business that no one else should be a part of anyway. I have been in the club for almost ten years now since I was twenty-two, and it’s a second family to me like it is for mostly everyone else.
My mom even comes around sometimes with food for the other guys, she is like everyone’s mom. We haven’t had a new prospect in almost two years, we don’t let just anyone join and Tank gets the majority vote, so almost no one even makes it past prospect.
“Roland told me that.” He says in response, and I laugh.
“What?” he smirks.
I shake my head and wave him off. “Nothing. I just haven’t called him that in years.”
He nods, “Yeah, I’ll have to get used to that. How long have you been in the club?” he asks.
“About ten years or so. I started up the tee shirt shop a few years back.” I explain.
“Were you just bored?” he raises his brows.
I laugh, “No we needed a way to hide our money from the feds. A reputable business does that, now we have three. The bar, the garage, and the shop.”
He makes a face and then nods.
“People usually get put off by the whole hiding from the feds thing, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.” I follow up.
He shrugs, “Didn’t think so. What is it that y’all do though anyway?”
I smirk. “We sell guns and run security for drug transport. It’s big money for everyone involved. If the guys do what they’re supposed to then they all get a cut. Works out for everyone.”
He nods and doesn’t bat an eye. I guess I should have taken Rafe seriously when he said that Spencer got into some bad shit. He clearly has, since all three of those illegal activities didn’t even get a reaction out of him.
“And y’all get away with that?” he laughs.
I shake my head and grin, “I mean… yes and no. Some guys have been arrested before but they get out on technicalities, there’s never any evidence so the cops can’t do much. Plus it’s more work for them, anyway, trying to take down a whole MC.” I answer. I’m interrupted by someone at the bar, but Spencer takes care of them instead.
“You done this before?” I ask him when he comes back.
“Yeah, I worked a few jobs back in Texas, one of them was tending bar at this night club. It sucked but it was good money.”
I nod, “So you ever go to school or anything?” I ask him and he laughs in response. I know Rafe didn’t go to college, I don’t know about him though. They used to dog me a lot, called me college boy cause I got a degree in finance and ended up hating my job, escaped to a small town back where I grew up and joined the club.
“Nah, I joined up for about two years though.”
I raise my brows, “Really?”
He nods getting sheepish, “Uh yeah, I was in combat but only did one tour.”
“Wow. I mean, that’s amazing, serving your country and all.” I tell him.
He shrugs it off or tries to. “It was. I was discharged after my last tour then I kind of had to figure out what to do with my life. Did they send you to figure out my life story or something?”
I laugh, “No man, I’m just being nosy. We don’t get a lot of new faces around here.”
“Yeah well, my brother dragged me out here so unless you have siblings, I don’t know how to explain it to you.”
I chuckle with him. “I have an older brother too. He’s an ass, type a CEO and all that shit. Can’t stand him. But Rafe seems nice enough, I mean we like him.” I chuckle.
Spencer grins, “It seems like it. How did he get to be VP so fast anyway?”
“I couldn’t tell you. I never wanted to be, but I was around longer than him so naturally people had their questions. But Tank has always treated him differently, I saw it, but I don’t know if the others do.”
“Different how?” Spencer makes a face.
I laugh, “I don’t know. Kind of like a son. Tank only has a daughter, she comes around sometimes and she is very off limits by the way. But yeah, he really helped him out.”
Spencer grins at one part of that and I’m glad that I told hi
m. Tank’s daughter, Jeannine, would never pay attention to any of the men here anyway. But it’s true about Rafe and him, they clearly have a special bond.
“I’m glad someone did.”
“Well now it’s your turn. Anyway, lets get to closing this down so we don’t have to stay late.” I tell him.
I show him how to close out and balance the drawer. Whoever is on bar automatically gets their tips and we don’t do paychecks, they just take the amount they earned and then balance the drawer again. It’s easy math and he caught on quickly.
I’m on my way out when Kit corners me. The two of us are pretty close, I trust him more than almost anyone at the club, second to Tank.
“I saw Chelsea came again, you okay?” he claps my shoulder and searches my eyes. I lean against the brick wall in the back and stare at his cold gray eyes. Kit has this look to him you kind of have to adjust to, I mean he looks like he’s a little messed up, but I think it’s just a front. It works when he has to scare the shit out of our enemies though.
“As I can be. I just wish she’d stop coming around, makes getting over her a lot harder.”
“I thought you were already.” He puts on his leather jacket from the coat rack and I do the same. Our cuts look mostly the same, except our badges on it. Mine says treasurer on it.
“I mean yeah, but it was still a four-year relationship and we only broke up three months ago, so.” I roll my eyes at the way I sound.
“You know what, you need to get laid. You’ve been stuck with the same pussy for years, she clearly tried other things, now it’s your turn.” He laughs and I wave him off.
“I don’t know…”
“Come on, I’m going to see my sister and she has hot friends.”
I shake my head at him, but when he puts it that way…
“Fine.”
About an hour later, we’re at his sister’s house in the city. I’ve been over for dinner a few times with them, and while his sister is great, she’s also taken. But he is right, she does have hot friends. It used to be easy for me to do the whole one-night stand thing but when you’ve been in a relationship for so long, it is definitely a different ball game.