by Ethan Egorov
After a shower, I was beat after a long day, and went straight to bed. But not without thinking about Jeannine first.
“You wanna come to the gym with me?”
“Are you gonna force me to spot you the whole time?” I glance at Roland, standing in my doorway. I sit up from the bed, where I was doing a crossword—it calms my brain sometimes, and he laughs at me.
“Just because you can’t lift as much as me, doesn’t mean that you need to be salty about it.” he crosses his arms, trying to taunt me.
A little friendly competition is the only reason we don’t chew each other’s heads off.
“Fine. But I have to be at the shop later.” I get up.
He nods, “Meet you outside.”
I get dressed and then meet him by the garage, we take my truck since it’s easier that way. The ride is silent, and I get the feeling he has a lecture in mind for me. He waits until after we lift, and are on the treadmill, before he says anything.
“Tank spoke to me about a possible assignment for you.”
“Assignment? Is this black ops.” I laugh, going at an easy jog. I stare forward at the row of treadmills in front of us. The girls jogging at the last two, who are wearing mini shorts, but don’t really catch my eye.
“I’m serious. If he wants you to play a bigger role in the club, that’s a good thing.”
I shake my head, “I didn’t come here for that. I told you. We agreed you wouldn’t bug me about it.”
“Yeah but—”
“Fuck this.” I stop the machine and storm off towards the locker room. I grab my bag and storm out of the whole gym too.
Unfortunately I have to wait for him in the truck too, and he sure did finish his workout before appearing. At least it gave me time to fume and remind myself that he only pestered me about shit because he cared. But I don’t want to be under the pres’ wing, I just want to cruise by and do my shit, so I can keep myself busy and not get into bad shit again. Not go on assignments and shit like that.
“Sorry for caring about you.” Roland mutters.
I pull out of the parking space and scoff.
“Sorry that you do.” I respond, still a bit pissed.
We get to the house and go our separate ways without saying a word, I make it to the blender before him and use the last of the protein powder just to spite him. Because I don’t buy it. Then I go to my room, shower, and hide out until I have to leave for the shop. I’m not opposed to working there. It’s quiet and no one really bothers me. the customers don’t want to be bothered either, which makes sense because the shirt designs are kind of emo.
The time alone forces me to think about Jeannine. Not so much forced as I just let myself do it.
It’s easy to do. She was witty, maybe a little shy, I haven’t figured if that’s just how she is yet. But either way, I like it. I hadn’t had an honest conversation with anyone in a while, I don’t really have them anymore actually. I surrounded myself with people that are bad for me, until now. I guess guys at the mc can go both ways but they have each other’s back, they have loyalty. Now that I am part of that, I don’t really want to mess it up. I also don’t want to find out if Tank’s rumors that precede him are true.
“You’re late.” Darius is coming out of the shop when I walk it. We don’t really talk that much, unless I see him by accident.
“Fuck off, I’m early.” We shake on the way past each other. I turn and watch him get on his bike, with a girl I saw in the parking lot, but doubted she was with him. She’s tall, leggy, exactly his type—it’s the only kind of woman I see him with.
There isn’t anyone in the shop when I get there, so I just start my normal time passing duties of counting inventory, folding shirts in the back, and listening to music. I wouldn’t hear anyone come in unless they shouted for me when they were ready to pay, which they usually do. Also there is a bell, it’s a self-starting job. I moze around in there for a while before I resurface, no one has come in for hours. That’s why I almost jump over myself when I hear footsteps on the other side of me.
I make a face but don’t bother to investigate it. I pass through the racks, stopping when I see a familiar head of brown, curly hair. I think there is no way that she is here, but I could spot that curly head of hair anywhere. The way it flows down her back all coiled up, bouncing anytime she moves. I’d like to see it bounce in other ways but that’s beside the point. I don’t know how long I stand there staring at her, looking at how her leggings fit, or the way her shirt falls over her slight shoulders and clings to her ass, the dull green color gets vibrant around her.
“Are you following me around now?” I lean on the rack like I am putting myself on display, and she stands there for a good ten seconds before she even turns around. Like she knew my voice but couldn’t believe I was talking to her or something.
“I um… I’ve been around this place longer than you have, actually.” She clears her throat; her voice is as soft and sweet as I remember.
“Fair enough. Nice.” I look at the shirts she is holding around her middle, my eyes catching the way her shirt creases between her breasts. Even I get confused as to what I was talking about.
“Excuse me?” her voice tightens.
I pause to answer her and smile. “Your shirts.” I laugh.
She widens her eyes in understanding. “Oh. Thanks.”
“You work here every day?” she asks me and takes a step closer. I lick my lips at getting a whiff of her light perfume scent.
“Pretty much. It’s what no one else wants to do so as the new guy, I guess I have to do it.” I admit.
“They won’t run you around for long.” she says with certainty, as if she knows.
“I’ll take your word for it then.” I reply, kind of just standing there until I can stop tripping over my own words.
It’s not so much that I don’t know what to say, but that I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Something about her tells me my usual pick up lines won’t work, and I don’t want them to either.
“I’ll uh, ring you up.” I clear my throat, finally moving things along.
I start ringing up her shirts, again wondering why anyone would spend twenty bucks on one shirt, let alone four of each. But it seems to have been working.
“So what do you do when you’re um, not here. Or at the club?” Jeannine asks, tripping over her words.
I glance at the way her blush starts on the ends of her cheeks, by her ears, and fades out closer to her rounded nose. “Not much.” I respond with a smile.
I go back to scanning, and she seems like she is going to say something else, and I just wait for it.
“Do you want to um, hangout sometime?”
I can hear her breathing hitch after she asks.
I drop the shirt on the table in shock, more that I wasn’t expecting her to ask me that. I forget who she is, and I look at her with a new view. One that agrees I want to spend time with her.
“Like, to hook up or as friends?” I joke.
“What? No, I mean… no. I don’t know.” She spazzes out again and I try not to laugh.
I laugh and start bagging her clothes. “I’m just messing with you. Sure, we can hang out.” I take out my phone and give it to her at the same time she gives me her card. It’s one of those really thick ones and I wonder where the hell she got it from.
“You have to pay for this?” I laugh.
I watch her type and erase about three times.
“Um yeah, my dad is all about fairness.” She gives my phone back and I try not to let my fingers brush hers.
At the same time I feel my heart sink. Damn, for about three minutes there, I forgot we weren’t regular people.
I fucking hated grade school, but I do remember Romeo and Juliet. The thought of her dad finding out makes my blood run cold, and I haven’t even seen him in action when he is actually pissed. Nor do I want to.
“Thanks. I’ll see you… later.” Her sweet voice cuts through my thoughts and I feel
like shit, because I know I can’t ever hang out with her. Not in any kind of way.
“Yep.” I nod and force a smile at her.
Her gaze lingers for a bit before she walks out, and I watch her go.
I lean over the counter and groan to myself when she is gone. I stare at her contact in my phone and try to force myself to delete it, to remove the temptation, but I can’t. I like her, she is on my mind, and there is something about her that keeps her there. I don’t want it to go away, even though I’m torn up about it, I have the clearest mind I have had in a long time.
I just wish it wasn’t so fucking complicated.
6
Jeannine
I hate that I have become this person. It only took Spencer ten days to completely uproot my life. Because all I have been doing, is thinking about how he hasn’t called.
I gave him my number a week ago, when I saw him in the shop, and nothing. It’s good I don’t have his number otherwise I might have put him on blast. Adriana only tells me that’s how boys are, and that he will come to his senses, but we both know what is really going on.
Spencer is afraid of my dad, like all the others are. Well, there are no others, but how the hell would I know, no one at the club or in the town who knows who he is, would come anywhere near me.
I busied myself with looking at campus videos, getting excited about college. But it was kind of hard to do that when I felt like I was walking in with little experience. Life, boys, parties and such. It’s an integral part of college that I want to experience, but I don’t want it to overtake my life. I was supposed to spend this summer discovering myself, having fun. Now I am just pining over a boy in my room all day.
Dad doesn’t really bother me much. We have dinner together and he sort of tells me about his day, and I do the same with mine. We get along, but we both aren’t very talkative people. I don’t ask him about Mom anymore, which is kind of hard to do when it’s the other thing that occupies my thoughts.
I am standing in the kitchen, finishing up dinner for my dad and I, when I hear voices coming from his office. I didn’t even know he was home, but I doubt that it’s an intruder or something.
“Dad?” I call out, still holding the spoon I used to stir the sauce. Maybe it is an intruder.
I round the corner and see him talking to another guy. He’s younger, tall and muscled with dark hair. I’m sure he has tattoos too, but I can’t tell since he is in his cut.
“Hey Jeannie, I’ll be in soon… why are you walking around with a spoon? Eating out of the tomato jar again.” Dad snickers. He is leaning against his desk and the other guy standing in front of him turns and faces me.
He’s hot as sin, and I blush just as hot too.
“Dad…ugh.” I whine and shut the door behind me. I don’t think people give him enough credit, for being such a master mind. Embarrassing me in front of almost every man alive. It’s like he wants me celibate and doesn’t want grandchildren.
I finish dinner, setting out the food before I hear heavy foot falls behind me. I don’t even turn around as the front door opens and closes. I wait until Dad is in the kitchen before I confront him.
“I haven’t eaten out of a jar since I was like eight.” I cross my arms and stare him down.
He just laughs at me and wraps me up in a hug.
“Okay sweetie.” He rubs my back and I grab at his tee shirt.
“Yeah fine. I made chicken parm.” I take my plate and sit down. He follows after getting a beer and a glass of whiskey.
“I’ll make dinner tomorrow.” He smiles.
I stare across the table at him and smile. I’m hungrier than I thought, but my stomach has been in knots for so long that I just find it hard to eat regularly.
“Who was the guy you embarrassed me in front of?” I ask casually. He laughs again and shakes his head, talking with his mouth full like he always does.
“My vice president. I thought you met him.”
“Oh. I didn’t really see his face.” I was too busy blushing and wishing I wasn’t there at all.
“Were you talking about club business? Secretly in your office.” I giggle.
“Sort of. But don’t make it sound so illegal.”
“I wasn’t…” I sigh and lean back in my chair, away from my plate. “Did you do that when you and Mom were together? Maybe she didn’t like how it seemed like it was illegal business.”
Dad frowns and pushes his plate away too, sighing.
“Jeannie, I told you—”
“Yeah. I know. sorry.” I take our plates and stand.
“I’ll do the dishes.” He meets me at the sink, but I still dry them off as he washes them.
“I uh, need a favor Jeannie.” Dad stops washing and turns to me.
I groan and look up at him. “Like what?”
He chuckles, “That secret business was about the shop. Darius usually watches it sometimes, but he’s not all that into it anymore. He’s also busy with… other things.”
“Oh my god, Dad are you asking me—”
“I’ll pay you extra, I know you wanted to come and relax but it would be nice to help your old man out.” He smiles, that dad-like teddy bear smile that made me not get my driver’s license until I was seventeen.
“But Dad…” The only thing I am thinking about is having to see Spencer, some guy who ghosted me. I’m not exactly keen on seeing him any time soon.
“Please, I gotta beg?”
I shake my head and somehow nod at the same time. Damn, he really got me.
“Fine. I’ll help.”
I had less than a day to psych myself up about seeing Spencer. The only way I could actually leave the house was to tell myself that I might not even see him, that he had a different shift or something. But I still wore the best pair of jeans I own, and I couldn’t really dress up to go to a shirt shop, so I just wore one of the shirts I bought the other day. I actually put something in my hair though, taming the curls a bit. I texted Adriana all night, needing her help to calm down. She always knew how to reason with me, even if some of the stuff she said was crazy. This was all her fault, anyway, telling me to ask Spencer out in the first place. I know I didn’t have to do it, but she still planted the seed. It all came down to just acting like nothing even happened. Because nothing did.
“Good morning, Dad.” I find him in his office hiding like he usually is in the mornings.
“Hey Jeannie. You headed out?”
“To slum it in a tee shirt shop. Yes.” I sit on the big leather arm chair he has. He’s behind his desk, still in his pajamas, drinking coffee and doing something on his laptop. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“Getting a new grill.”
I laugh, “You need a new grill?”
He shakes his head. “Not for me, it’s for the club.”
“Oh.” I look around in my purse to check I have everything. It’s an ugly brown satchel thing I have had for years, I’m sure I can find a movie stub from high school in here.
“You should eat before you leave.”
“Is it that hard of work?” I chide.
He gives me a funny look from over the computer. “You know you’re easily tired, Jeannine.”
I roll my eyes, “Yeah when I was like, twelve. I gotta go, don’t want to be late and get in trouble with the boss man.”
“Alright, alright,” he waves me off. I laugh, rising to hug him goodbye. I kiss his cheek over his beard so he’ll be in a good mood and then I go.
Without coffee too, I hadn’t realized my stomach was in such knots. Spencer is just a boy, and I keep trying to tell myself that but it doesn’t really work. He makes me nervous, plain and simple. I almost take the wrong turn and I don’t even pay attention to my favorite song on the radio. I pull up in front of the shop around noon, just before it opens. There are no cars parked out front, but I do see a bike closer to the end of the lot. All that’s around the shop is a dollar store and atm. The town doesn’t have much life to it.
&n
bsp; I text Adriana that I arrived and hope she has a last few words of hope.
Adriana: Try not to look directly in his eyes.
Me: Thanks for the help.
I take a deep breath and try to see in through the window, but the graphic designs on it make that hard.
Adriana: Oh Jeannine relax!
Me: That’s a little better. Talk to you later.
I lock my phone, stuff it in my purse, and get out of the car all in one breath. Crossing the front door, I inhale sharply and take in the mainstream air condition and shop smell. I’ve only watched the shop a few times before, last summer was fine because I was by myself and hadn’t met Spencer yet.
Now I take cautious steps as if I don’t know where I am, until I get to the back room where I put my stuff. If I keep my phone with me, I will just end up watching YouTube videos on it all day instead of actually working. I may not want to do this, but my dad asked me to, so it’s hard to not do a good job. I also tend to have a type A personality.
There are only so many things I can do, so I start with folding the shirts in the back to restock. The back room isn’t a bad place to hang out, but I can’t see anyone from in there. I decide to fold them at the register where I can see, but I stop in my tracks when I see who just walked in.
“Jeannine. Hi. What are you doing here?” Spencer takes off a pair of black sunglasses, his eyes boring right into mine and not letting go.
I gulp, my fingers threatening to slip off the box. I force myself to walk forward when it starts getting too heavy.
“Working.” I murmur back. He stands where he is, staring at me. I feel like I am on display as my heart beat calms down.
“Why?” he laughs once.
I frown at him before looking away. I take the box cutter in my hand and slice open the box, eventually he gets the point and walks off, to I don’t know where. I am supposed to be acting like nothing happened, so I don’t think indulging in conversation with him will do that. We are both here because of the club, so it’s not what I had in mind about hanging out. I don’t even know what I was thinking anymore; a guy who says he will text or call and doesn’t shouldn’t be one that I’m crushing over. But here we are.