by Ethan Egorov
“Did Kit really send you here?” I ask. I hate when he thinks I need to be babysat. As he got older, he started to worry about me more. I guess he is trying to return the favor of the past few years, when I was looking out for him.
“No.” Darius shakes his head and gulps down half the water. He licks his lips and my stomach flutters.
“Oh.” I strum my fingers on the counter and prop my legs up. My jeans are too tight, though, and my right leg falls against the stool, making a loud creaking sound like a crash. Darius winces and visibly coils up, looking over at me slowly with questions in his eyes.
“Sorry.” I mutter. My throat is so dry I can hardly swallow, but I try, and it only makes me lose my breath. I take another one to steady myself as I look at him. He pushes the glass away and leans back in the chair, staring back at me. I have no idea what is happening, only that this heat between us is suffocating, yet I can see clearer than ever before.
“You make me nervous, Darius.” I explain myself. Kind of. My voice is so soft I barely hear it, but the way his lips twitch in a smile tells me that he did hear me. He’s dangerous, I know enough about the club and what he does to know for sure, but he doesn’t feel that way. All I know is that he’s older and probably more experienced in this than me and always looks like he wants to laugh at me.
“You know what’s funny?” He asks. I frown at that being his response but shake my head.
“No.”
He sighs and runs his hands down his thighs, like he is drawing attention to his crotch and muscular thighs, his knees making that separation of muscle. I swallow and tear my eyes from said crotch area that’s perfectly filled out.
“You don’t look anything like your brother.” He says. I laugh once, mostly in confusion at what he said.
“What?” I giggle in surprise. He licks his lips and shrugs one shoulder, exhaling a breath. He runs a hand through his long black hair. He could put it in a hair tie, it’s that long.
“That’s just it. I hadn’t really noticed it. I’ve known your brother for a long time, before I even met you. And I couldn’t figure out why… it would just be easier if you looked like him, is all.” He says. I think it’s the most words he has ever spoken to me at once and I hang on every word.
“I guess I should be glad we don’t look alike.” I say it more like a question. But I still don’t know what he meant would be easier. Being around me? Not being around me? I have no idea.
“Why did you really come?” I ask him. The question has been on my mind this whole time and I have searched for the courage to actually ask him. There it is, finally. His expression falls blank and he is probably as confused as me. By my boldness.
“I wanted to see you.” He goes back to murmuring. It’s like he doesn’t want to hear himself talk; must be why he doesn’t do much of it.
But his answer leaves me reeling a little bit. In surprise. Disbelief. All of the above. People don’t usually want to see me. They want my study notes or test practice answers. That’s the me that I’m used to, without school I wondered what I would become.
“Well, I find that hard to believe.” It’s my turn to murmur and I really don’t want to hear myself talk. He snickers a bit under his breath.
“You shouldn’t.”
“So, why now then?” I ask him. Thinking it might just be my plastered demeanor last night and that dress Tara forced me into. Ashely helped.
“Because…” he trails off, well he more like ends it there like I’m not allowed to know the answer. I wish I had alcohol right now because then I’d be less nervous.
But I’m nervous as hell. My palms sweat and I splay them against my thighs, sitting up in the chair. His gaze drops to my chest and I forgot I was bare underneath. The gray shirt I have on doesn’t hide much, it’s a useless excuse for a shirt which is why I wear it at home. But I know that my nipples poke out and the shape of my breasts are on display. I slump over so it comes out a little less.
“Okay.” I whisper. He turns away and finishes his water, setting the glass down with a clink. I chew the inside of my lip as I wait for the next thing to say. There are a dozen possibilities in my head but none of them sound very good. I’m not brave enough for them either.
“Are you hungry?” He asks me out of nowhere. My stomach growls at the reminder of having not eaten all day. I stare at him with wide eyes and sweat trickling down my neck.
“Um… yeah.” I nod once. He twists his lip and looks off like he is thinking, or there’s a confirmation written on the wall somewhere. It seems he finds it before he turns back to me and looks right in my eyes.
“Come have dinner with me then.”
5
Darius
My mouth was dry the whole way to Amy’s house. I had been thinking over what to do for a long time, it was tiring. But once I got to her house, I only felt slightly better, like I satiated a small need I had. It’s no wonder I guzzled the water so fast my head is spinning. Even more so when I ask her out to dinner.
I don’t mean it as a date. At least I don’t think I do. If it were a real date, I don’t think I would have showed up unannounced. Whatever happens would be behind Kit’s back. I probably should have told him I had a thing for his sister a long time ago, but it never seemed possible. I didn’t want to be responsible for hurting her if it ever came to that. But looking at her now, it doesn’t seem possible that I would. I don’t know her that well, but she seems really witty, especially cute when she’s blushing. The fact that I make her nervous is unbelievable to me too.
“Is it like a date or…?” She trails off, her long dark brows drawing together. I swallow and shake my head, rubbing my hands through my hair. It’s gotten so long but I never bothered cutting it. I should at some point.
“Um… no?” I say it like a question and her face falls. It makes me feel bad. I don’t want her to think I wouldn’t want to take her to dinner or something. Obviously, I do since I asked, but doing it in a friendly way or romantic way are two very different things.
“Well, it’s just, I’m not the date kind of guy.” I tell her. It’s mostly true except I only told her because I didn’t want her to feel bad or like it was her fault.
Her lips twitched into a smile and she exhaled. “Yeah. Okay. Let me just put something decent on.” She hops off the counter and my eyes dart to her bare legs again, they’re tanned and filled out, like she is athletic. The rest of her body is just as distracting and I look away fast, clearing my throat.
“You got a bathroom I can use?” I ask, standing up too.
“Um yeah, down the hall.” She turns and trips on her own feet a bit and I find it in me to chuckle under my breath. I don’t know why I acted like I’ve never been in this place before. I know where the hall bathroom is and once I’m finished, I take my time on the way back to look at their family photos. They line half the wall in the entry way and go from when they were both little kids until now. Amy only seemed to get prettier over time. It isn’t fair. But it’s endearing to see her that way, especially since she is a doctor now. I notice the family photos all stop when their parents died, and then it’s nothing but a blank wall. I feel bad for them, but even more so I know how they feel. My dad died when I was seventeen, my mother was never the same after that but then she died. It’s just me an Olivia now looking after each other.
That’s why I understand why Kit is so protective of Amy. Probably to keep her from people like me, damaged people. But for some reason I can’t stay away from her, knowing that I probably should.
“Okay, I’m ready.” Her soft voice comes behind me out of nowhere and I jump a bit. I turn to see her in the hall entrance, wearing tight jeans and a cropped tee shirt. I think she is absolutely trying to kill me, showing off her bare stomach like that. Especially since I didn’t know she had a belly button ring, sitting cute just above the band of her jeans. But she looks completely innocent, like she isn’t trying anything at all. Her painted nails peek out of her sandals and I get a ho
t image of myself sucking on them before I look away.
“You ever been on a bike before?” I ask, my voice is hard, and I swallow back to try and soften it. She nods once.
“Yeah,” she slings her purse over her shoulder, the long kind, and it’s clear she was prepared.
I nod back, “Good.”
I head to the front door and put my boots back on, lacing them up quickly. She’s standing in front of me watching and I glance up at her before I stand up. I was in the perfect position to kiss that stud belly button piercing of hers but I’m glad that I refrained.
“I know a good place we can go.” I tell her as we walk outside. She acknowledges that before locking the door and following me down their driveway. The house isn’t obscenely big, as I suspected for what their parents used to do. But it does sit on a lot of land. One could easily build a house behind theirs with no issue. I wonder if that’s what they intended.
“Helmet,” I reach in my stow and hand the black helmet to her. She gives it a funny look and reaches in her purse instead, pulling out a pair of aviators.
“Don’t need it.” She slips them on, and her lips purse up, full pink pillows my lips twitch to kiss. Fuck. Maybe this was a bad idea. I don’t think I have enough self-control to refrain from taking her the way I want to.
“Fine.” I grumble, putting it back.
I take my glasses out of my jacket too and slip them on before I climb on the back. I tense up when her hands lay on my shoulders to guide herself, then even more so when she slides up against me. Her softness makes me chip away at the seams. My heart stalls when her hands come around my waist and she squeezes her thighs around mine. I can feel her breathing, not like my short breaths but deep and even. It makes me feel the roundness of her breasts against my shoulder blades every time, her warmth seeping against me. I lose my breath and even shudder a little before I rev the bike up. I kick off and peel down the road, driving a little faster than normal with all the adrenaline in me. Or something else I can’t explain. She squeezes me tighter at every twist of the road and by the time I get to the bar, my cock is half hard. She was damn near dry humping me even though she hadn’t meant to, but my body is keyed up either way.
We get off the bike and I stretch my jeans out away from my erection and luckily, she doesn’t notice because she’s staring up at the bar lights.
“I have never heard of this place.” She giggles once.
I moisten my lips and walk up the pavement next to her, two people leave the bar and give me a long look. One that I’m used to. I get it; tattooed with long hair and a beard. I look like an ex con. One that has never stepped foot in a jail.
“The owner was a friend of mine.” I tell her. I open the door and let her walk in first. I almost wish I hadn’t because then her lavender scent wafts my way, it’s warm and intoxicating, I feel it down to my toes. She’s none the wiser as she strides into the bar. The lights are always dim even during the day, so you don’t know what time it is even when you feel like day drinking. The bar top has a row of chairs mostly full with other circular tables across the place. Like our bar at the club, it has a dart board, pool table, and other billiards. But I didn’t bring her to the club for obvious reasons. That would be nearly impossible to explain.
“I didn’t know you had friends.” Amy teases me. I stop and look down my nose at her, smirking a bit before I move on and find us a table in the corner.
“Very funny.” I sigh.
“You said was. Are you not friends anymore?” She takes off her glasses and stuffs them in her purse, hanging it on the chair behind her.
“He died. We were in the Army together.” I explain slowly. My neck goes tight at the memory. Mark and I were friends since we were kids, and both joined up together at eighteen. He never had family and always planned to do it. When I lost both my parents in the same year, I was right there with him. I almost stayed for Olivia, but I knew I had to do something with my life before all that grief turned me sour. I was lucky to be in the club when I came back because my time in the Army was even darker. It was the only thing my dad left behind for me.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Her face draws and I shrug it off.
“It was a long time ago.” I tell her. And it was. Over ten years ago. It hurts a little less every year, but I knew what I was getting into. So did Mark.
“Is that why you don’t like people?” She leans on the table and her cleavage swells; it distracts me enough to not be bogged down by talk of Mark.
“Who said I don’t like people?” I make a face. She giggles softly and smiles. Her little laugh is the brightest thing I’ve ever heard, and with the light-yellow shirt she has on, I keep thinking of how much she reminds me of sun shine. A little piece of the sun right here on earth.
She shrugs and leans back in her chair, “I don’t know. You’re the least social out of all the other guys at the club.” She explains. Which is true. I shake my head though and give her a long look.
“I was never a very social person to begin with. But I don’t make friends easy either.” I answer. She twists her lip and makes a thinking face. We’re interrupted by the bartender coming over and getting our drink order first. The petite, dark haired woman gives me the look I am used to; a little bit of fear in her eyes with curiosity mixed in, wondering if I’m as mean as I look. Sometimes it’s hard to be.
“But you’re friends with Kit.” She says. The mention of him brings this tightness back to my throat that I want to wash down with beer, but it hasn’t arrived yet. I just nod once and lean back in the chair.
“Yeah, we get each other.” I say. I shrug my cut off and expose my bare arms. I feel her eyes surveying me, drifting over my tattoos. The ones on my left arm are lightly colored gray. My right arm has more abstract designs with a bit of color. They extend over my chest, but she can’t see that right now.
“Get each other?” She asks, amused, I think.
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve both been through the same kind of stuff. My parents died when I was young too.” I tell her. Even though Kit is younger, it never really felt like that. It doesn’t feel like that with Amy now either.
“That’s really unfortunate, I’m sorry.” Her eyes widen. I nod once. No one knows how my dad really died except me and Tank. Thankfully he kept that secret. I thought of telling Kit multiple times but after Rafe was named the new pres, I didn’t think I had to anymore.
“Thanks.” The server comes back, and we have barely looked at the menu, but I know the place well and recommend the burger. Amy agrees and gets it. I haven’t sat down to eat with many women, possibly none, but I didn’t figure she would go for a triple cheeseburger with fries and onion rings. I’m not complaining though.
I sip at my beer and she does the same to hers. We sit in silence for a while with the bar sounds around us. The TVs playing a sports game, people at the pool table, laughter. I come here often, more so after Mark passed. The place was his dad’s and I look after it, but I spend more time with the club, so I had to hire someone else to do most of the work. I’ve never been much of a business owner; it requires people skills too much.
“So, how does it feel to be a doctor now?” I ask her casually.
She laughs, “I don’t know. I guess it won’t feel real until I have an actual patient.”
“When’s that gonna be?” I cross my arms. Her gaze flitters to them and I’m only glad I have the body I do when she does, mostly because it seems to impress her. But I’ve never actually wanted to impress anyone with it so it’s a first for me.
“A couple months. I haven’t decided where to go yet.” She looks off in the distance and I can tell she is really undecided about it. I’ve never had that issue. I have lived here and wherever I was stationed, then I came back.
“Sounds like a tough decision.” I clear my throat. I take another swig of my beer, but my mouth is dry. I didn’t know I could be nervous around a woman before but I’m afraid I might say the wrong thing, or worse be rude to her. I ha
ve to take all this one step at a time.
“Yeah, it is. I don’t know though. I’ll figure it out one way or another. At least I have options.” She shrugs. I half smile with a closed mouth at her seeing the bright side in it. People like that are hard to come by—people who find the bright side even in the darkest places. I know enough about her to know her life hasn’t always been sunshine and happiness but here she is, doing it herself.
I drink the rest of my beer and hope that whatever happens, I don’t take that from her.
6
Amy
Sitting across from Darius feels like a dream. Honestly, I have drifted off into a place of disbelief. I wish it could be as simple as being insecure or something, but that isn’t it. Men have paid attention to me, ones I didn’t care for. But Darius doesn’t really pay attention to anyone and for some reason, he wants to talk to me. I feel like I have to put on a show and impress him but every time I talk, I only say honest things. He pulls out this part of me that I stifled, for the sake of looking strong or like I am okay all the time when I’m really not. He makes me feel like it’s okay to not be okay all the time.
When our food comes, I try to not eat like a pig, but the greasy burger is huge and damn good, I take huge bites every time.
“You’re eating like you haven’t had a real meal in days.” He chuckles at me, a deep rumble in his chest. He doesn’t laugh or even grin very often, the small smiles I get are hidden under his beard and I can’t really tell, but it’s in his eyes. Their dark cloud breaks for a second and his brown eyes are less dull.
“Honestly, I haven’t. Finals were so stressful, I barely slept.” I thought I would pass out right after graduation but then the drinking happened and Darius… it will come soon, though.
“Damn. See that’s why I don’t get the whole school thing. Can’t be good for you.” He shrugs his heavy shoulder and wipes his fingers with a wet napkin. He finished before me, which makes sense considering how big he is. The burger was like a plastic toy in his hands. I pick at my fries after I clean around my mouth. I’m stuffed full and feel like I’m busting out of this crop top. It was a hasty decision, deciding to show some skin. I don’t know how to seduce anyone, but a bit of skin never hurts.