For Your Love Only

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For Your Love Only Page 9

by Diana Von Lutzenrath

Tallia woke in excellent spirits the next day. Emmy would arrive later and though the two of them had been apart less then a week, she was excited to see her sister again. She and Fidelio had spent the previous day talking of nothing but the engagement and she thought it was a toss up as to which one of them was more thrilled by the idea.

  Even knowing Emmy would say yes, did not diminish Tallia’s pleasure. Emmy was wild about Fidelio and Tallia could not wait for the two of them to be married. The last years had been hard on Emmy, since the accident she had done a lot of growing up fast.

  Marrying Fidelio would be good for Emily. Tallia knew her sister needed a man in her life, and unlike her previous boyfriends, a long line of losers and users, Fidelio genuinely loved Emmy and wanted to take care of her. Tallia was certain they would make a smashing success of their life together. More important, once Emmy was married Tallia knew her sister would have to devote herself to her new husband and stop making an invalid the focus of her existence.

  As much as Tallia appreciated all of Emmy's love and attention during her long recovery, she knew it wasn't healthy. Emmy had put her life on hold while Tallia was sick, taking on only enough modeling work to support herself while letting her career and her aspirations languish. Tallia knew Emmy had a thousand plans, her sister had always bubbled over with hopes and dreams. Drugs and Emmy’s crazy lifestyle had briefly gotten the best of her, but now that she was clean and sober Tallia sensed Emmy was ready to take off like a firecracker.

  Emmy wanted to go back to school and study fashion to become a designer, she also wanted children and a husband and a home. If Emmy married Fidelio, who was always completely supportive and encouraged her to push herself and follow her passions, Tallia was certain her sister would follow through with her plans and stop delaying going to school on the pretext of having to stay by her bedside to nurse her back to health.

  Sliding to the edge of her bed and easing her legs over the side, Tallia grimaced as she watched her right leg flop awkwardly off the mattress. Part of the reason Tallia agreed to come to Greece was her hope that by so doing she could show Emmy that she really was better and no longer needed constant care and supervision. Her present condition, however, was going to do nothing to alleviate Emmy's fears.

  If she was eager to see Emmy on her way to a life of her own, Tallia was even more impatient to get back to her own life. She hated being dependent on others for everything from a sip of water to performing basic bodily functions. Leaving the hospital for the first time in almost two years, to take a plane with Fidelio to Greece, had been a major milestone. She had no intention of ending up back in hospital for a very long time to come.

  Before the accident she had been a relatively carefree single, living in her own apartment in the suburbs of London while teaching children at a posh private academy. Her life had been close to perfect. She had even begun to date, though sporadically and only men who understood that she wanted a relationship and not a romp, and would not be rushed into bed.

  The only real problem she could remember, aside from her intimacy issues, was Emmy's drug use. Because of Emmy’s problems Tallia had stayed close to London to be near her sister, trying to offer Emmy as much love and support as she could. In those days, Emmy had been a different person compared to the laughing young girl Tallia remembered growing up. Drugs had turned Emmy into a moody, surly, paranoid stranger who resented and rebuffed all offers of help. Emmy had run with a fast crowd, her life full of excess and partying, with no room in it for a staid sister who wanted her to clean herself up and settle down.

  Emmy had left home early to escape their strict, controlling stepfather and never looked back. Modeling had been her ticket to freedom, and she had been living on her own when she was only seventeen, before Tallia even moved out of their parent’s house. All that freedom and self-reliance so early had made Emmy feel as if she didn't need to answer to or listen to anyone, her headstrong personality and the influence of the wrong people had almost led to disaster.

  In some ways, Tallia considered the accident a blessing. Before the car crash Emmy had treated her with suspicion and hostility, the accident however, had brought them together again and knocked some sense into Emmy. Her sister had finally stopped using drugs and taken stock of her life, and decided to change herself for the better.

  With a grimace of distaste, Tallia reached for the cane Fidelio brought her yesterday. It was better than a walker, she thought as she used it to limp to the bathroom. Lord how she hated walkers- the hospital had been full of walkers- they made her feel like a real invalid. She smiled when she recalled how Fidelio teased her yesterday, as she tried out the cane, telling her she looked dashing as he adjusted it until it was just the right length for her.

  Easing herself into the shower, Tallia worried what Emmy would think when she saw the cane. She knew her sister would be frantic. Emmy was riddled with guilt over the accident. Her sister still had nightmares and tortured herself with recriminations over her recklessness. Tallia tried repeatedly to tell Emmy that it was over and they should put it behind them. She certainly felt no rancor towards her sister, but Emmy wouldn't let it go.

  Before coming to Greece, Tallia had been almost back to her old self. She wanted things to be normal between them, just two sisters on equal footing. The blasted cane, however, would ruin that hope. Worse, she feared it might stop Emmy from accepting Fidelio's proposal. Emmy never said anything, but Tallia knew her sister had put the brakes on her relationship with Fidelio repeatedly, even going so far as to break up with him once after Tallia took a bad turn, because she felt she had to devote herself to Tallia before anything else.

  Out of guilt, Emmy insisted on putting her life on hold until Tallia was fully recovered, which was ridiculous. Tallia knew she would eventually mend, but it would take time, as this trip was proving to her. There was no way in hell though that she would allow Emmy to sacrifice her future to play nursemaid.

  Washing herself quickly, Tallia took special care getting out of the shower so she wouldn't slip on the wet tiles. Propping herself against a counter, she quickly dried herself and went through her routine of brushing her teeth, combing out her hair and applying moisturizer.

  She needed to catch Fidelio before he went to fetch Emmy and work out a game plan. Yesterday she persuaded him not to tell Emmy anything of her relapse, but it had taken a long time and a lot of pleading and cajoling. Today she had something even nuttier in mind; she needed to convince him that she could manage without the cane.

  Fidelio, unfortunately, was as stubborn as a mule. He’s also a wonderful man, Tallia had to admit as she recalled his sincere concern for her. It always surprised her a little how close she felt to Fidelio, since she usually avoided men, and how the feeling appeared to be mutual. From the moment they met they had been like brother and sister, or long lost friends. They never ran out of things to say or laugh about, and genuinely cared for each other. She knew Fidelio was worried about her, but right now she needed an ally and not another nurse.

  Tallia's mind went involuntarily to Fidelio's brother, and she shivered. Glancing at the door, as she limped heavily across her room to the wardrobe where Calamini had hung all her clothes, she wondered why she had yet to see any hint of Costa. It amazed her that he had yet to stop in, not even to apologize.

  She wasn’t looking for an apology from Costa, whom she imagined would eventually offer one, despite his abominable arrogance. Good manners, she knew, would compel Costa to ask to be forgiven for his behavior, though it was the last thing she wanted. Tallia knew any apology from him would be a seriously awkward affair for both of them, because she didn’t imagine such a brute did much apologizing.

  Costa made her nervous, not simply because of what happened between them when they went out in his car, but because Tallia knew he had made her nervous from the first. With a domineering personality such as his, Tallia had fully expected to receive a visit yesterday while she lay about all day doing nothing to let her body heal.
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br />   Bored to tears, she had even imagined him entering the room with that purposeful stride of his to survey everything with his steady, unflinching eyes- like an imperious king inspecting his kingdom. He would look at her with the same haughty air of propriety with which he looked at everything around him, as if he owned her along with each stick of furniture and stitch of fabric in the place. The thought stirred a weird, squirmy sensation in the pit of her stomach that she didn't want to examine too closely.

  Fidelio had already apologized up, down and center for his brother since the moment Tallia was lucid enough to speak. Tallia accepted his apologies readily and assured him she was fine and didn't blame Costa, though Fidelio hardly appeared convinced.

  In truth, she didn't blame Costa. Once she calmed down and the pain receded, she could think clearly. In a strange way, she understood Costa perfectly. As an older sibling it was easy for her to see how his actions, though frightfully cruel, had been motivated by love for his brother. She might not like Costa, or his heavy-handed methods, but she could empathize with his need to protect his family.

  Dropping the towel, Tallia kept checking the door surreptitiously, feeling intensely vulnerable standing around naked with thoughts of Costa in her head. She was dreading seeing him again, yet there was an edge to her apprehension. An electric tingle she had felt around him from the moment she first set eyes on the man, added an element of shivery anticipation to her unease.

  She had never experienced such a strong reaction to a man before. Usually she was indifferent to men or plain apprehensive. Her experience with the opposite sex was limited. Her father ran off when she was only a small child and by the time her mother remarried she had been a teenager.

  Kevin, her über-controlling stepfather, had done nothing to make Tallia want closer relations with anyone of the opposite sex. After he married her mother, Kevin had made her life a living hell. He would spy on her, rifling through her papers, reading her diary and checking on her in the middle of the night to make certain she didn’t sneak out.

  Growing up with him, Tallia had felt like a criminal in jail. Kevin forbade her to date. He insisted teenage girls were all promiscuous tarts as hot for sex as any teenage boy, and couldn’t be trusted not to sleep around. When he even thought he saw her looking at a boy, Kevin would go crazy. He would lecture her for hours about what creeps men were and how they preyed on women, telling her explicitly what depraved sexual things men wanted to do to her. He would accuse her of all sorts of imagined indiscretions and go into graphic detail about things Tallia, at fifteen, had never even heard about.

  Since leaving home Tallia had led a very quiet life. After her father’s abandonment and Kevin’s lessons, she had a profound fear of making herself vulnerable to a man and being used. She avoiding men as much as possible and had even happily chosen a profession that was dominated by women.

  Costa Eustakhios however, was not the sort of man a woman could ignore. He dominated every setting that he was in, filled any room in which he stood. He was a big, dark, alpha who demanded attention and submission simply by drawing breath.

  Tallia had never been in the presence of such a force of nature. It was scary the way he made her feel, though she hated to admit it was also oddly exhilarating, not unlike standing in the charged atmosphere before a storm. She was both attracted and repelled by him, a combination that threw her off balance, leaving her unsure how to react, how to protect herself.

  Fleetingly, she wished she could leave and never see him again. It might be the coward’s way, but it seemed safest. He didn't like her, and his overwhelming personality threatened her in a way she didn't quite understand. He made her feel intensely female and starkly exposed, as if she were prey and he an inescapable predator. Even more disconcerting, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to get away.

  Shaken by that strange thought, Tallia knew for her own safety she should avoid him, yet that was impossible given their current situation. With a sense of giddy anticipation, she checked her appearance in a full-length mirror and then left her room.

 

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