by A. J. Downey
“Dude, I’m starving,” Blaze declared, rinsing brushes in the kitchen sink downstairs while Saylor disposed of paint tray liners in a big black trash bag.
“Kitchen isn’t exactly conducive to cooking right now,” Saylor declared. “Did anybody even grab any food from the old apartment?”
“We don’t have a fridge yet, so that’s okay. I still need to clean over there before handing in the keys and the like.”
“They got boxes marked kitchen in here,” Blaze said opening one up.
“Looks like all the dry goods and non-perishables from the kitchen cabinets,” Saylor mused, looking back over her shoulder. “Nothing I can do anything with without a stove or even a microwave.” She made a face.
“Where is the microwave, anyway?” Blaze asked. “I know you had one.”
“It’s around here somewhere,” Saylor said with a shrug, giving the rest of the too-empty kitchen a scan.
“It’s no problem,” I said with a shake of my head and a shrug. “Let’s just hit the 10-13. Reflash’ll be more than happy to make sure we’re fed.”
“When exactly were you guys planning on ordering up things like furniture and appliances?” Blaze asked. “Did you even set anything aside for that shit?”
I rolled my eyes. “Dude, you sound like my mom or my dad, of course I did. We just have to figure out what we want to do – like what kind of appliances and shit and do up the kitchen before we have them delivered.”
“Ooo, hold on, I grabbed some of those paint chip cards and some wallpaper samples for the kitchen.”
“Later!” Blaze cried. “I’m going to die of starvation. Can’t you see I’m wasting away over here?”
“He’s right, babe. That sandwich on the way back from the hardware store wore off a while ago.”
“Okay! Okay, I’ll curb my enthusiasm for now,” she caved and I smiled, throwing an arm over her shoulders.
“Let’s eat,” I declared and steered her to the front of the house, Blaze falling into step with us.
28
Saylor…
The 10-13 was way busy and it took me half a second to realize that a big part of that was the crowd of Indigo Knights and the rest of their women scattered throughout the fishbowl and out on the barroom floor.
“Hey, look who it is!” Skids called, raising a glass over by the pool tables in his dapper leather vest with all its patches. I smiled and waved and Reflash who was near him in his typical cook’s attire asked us, “You three hungry?”
“Starving!” Blaze called back.
“Head on up to the fishbowl, the three of you, and grab a seat at the big table,” Skids ordered, and I wrapped both of my arms around Poe’s one, twining my fingers of one hand through his and let him lead the way.
“Get much done today?” Oz asked as we walked by, Ellie tucked against his side.
“All the upstairs ceilings and the walls of the master bedroom. Things needed to dry before we can hit the accent wall in the master, but all in all I’d say we did pretty good. All that primer going up yesterday really helped out,” Poe answered.
“Awesome,” Oz declared, lowering his beer glass from his lips and smacking them around the word.
“We can come help some more next weekend with whatever you haven’t gotten done,” Lys called and Golden laughed and raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly in the chest. “And by ‘we’ I mean me and the rest of the girls.”
“More painting?” Ellie declared. “You know I’m always ready for that.”
“I know,” Oz said in his sarcastic way and pulled her closer, smacking a kiss on her temple. I smiled and felt relaxed among the banter.
“I’m holding you all to it!” I said and we whisked by to head up to the fishbowl.
Narcos, Everleigh, and Driller were lounging inside along with Backdraft and Lily, and Youngblood – but no Chrissy.
“She’s in the bathroom,” Youngblood declared when he saw me scan for the lioness of a lawyer.
“Ah,” I murmured.
“Grab a seat you three, what’s shakin’?” Narcos asked, shoving a chair out from the opposite side of the table with his booted foot.
“Not much, just finished up with some painting. How about you guys? Why’s everybody here?” Poe asked.
I let him take my coat and hang it on the back of the plush executive chair that served as the seating around the long glass table in the room. Like someone had plunked a boardroom right in the middle of the restaurant. Given the usual clientele of the place, it was actually fitting.
The longest glass wall looked out over the restaurant’s bar area and the shorter glass wall over the short hall to the kitchen. Inside, the opposite short solid wall held a television, while the long wall behind where I was seated held three. All were silently playing some sport or another and were the focus of a few of the guys out by the taller standing tables near the dart boards.
Some of the girls stood talking and laughing around the pool table with their cues at the ready along with a flamboyant drag queen who looked absolutely fabulous in throwback edgy 80s angular makeup. Like they belonged in Blade Runner or Ghost in the Shell or something.
“I see Pasquale is back from his gay-cation,” Poe said with a laugh.
Chrissy walked up and joined them as Youngblood looked back over his shoulder at her, Pasquale, Ally, and Claire around the pool table laughing at something that Pasquale was telling them.
“Yup. Guess he had a grand ol’ time on it,” Youngblood said.
“I’m so lost,” I said laughing.
“Pasquale went on this cruise through the Caribbean over Christmas and New Year; the whole thing catering to an inclusive LGBTQA+ clientele. The whole time leading up to it, he kept calling it his ‘gay-cation’ and I think it was a thing for a lot of people displaced by family to do during the holidays,” Narcos said and Everleigh nodded emphatically and happily beside him.
“I missed his flaming ass around here,” Driller said with a grin.
“Is it weird that I did too?” Blaze asked, chuckling and I shook my head no.
“No, he’s your friend, isn’t he?”
“Let’s just say he grew on some of us,” Driller said.
“Pasquale can get a little animated,” Poe said blushing.
“What I’m hearing is that some fragile male egos may or may not know how to handle all of the wonderfulness out there by the pool table,” I said slyly and Everleigh bounded to her feet with one fingertip on her nose and the other excitedly pointing right at me.
I laughed and some of the rest of the guys did too.
“Fair assessment,” Youngblood admitted freely, nodding.
“So why is everybody here?” Blaze asked.
“Putting together a charity ride,” Narcos said coolly.
“Oh yeah? Who’s the charity?” Blaze asked, leaning back in his seat.
“Never mind that for now,” Youngblood declared, and I had a sneaking suspicion it might be me with the mountain of hospital bills I was likely to have looming and with how cagey everyone was being.
The talk was quashed for the time being with the arrival of the food we hadn’t gotten a chance to order. Apparently, it was chef’s choice, and I could be on board with that when a deep soup bowl filled with hearty broccoli cheddar soup was set in front of me and alongside it, a rustic thickly stuffed roast beef sandwich.
“This looks amazing,” I declared and Reflash sauntered in a moment later wiping his hands on the towel over his shoulder.
“Well, put it in your face and tell a fella how it is!” He made a motion with his hands to hurry it up and laughing we all tried our food and died going straight to heaven.
“Oh, my God, this is so good!” I rolled the slight bite of soup on my tongue.
“Awesome. I’m thinkin’ about doin’ it as a lunch combo during the week.”
“Got us actin’ as your guinea pigs, huh?” Blaze asked.
“Shit, you think every meal�
��s free?” Reflash demanded. “I gotta get somethin’ out of it every now and again otherwise y’all are liable to eat me out of house and home.”
We laughed, especially considering I knew for a fact that everyone paid their tab more often than not. However, I also learned that when Reflash told you to eat and it was on his dime you had better not refuse it.
I hummed in happiness and wondered aloud, “Do you cater weddings, because I would absolutely love if you did.”
Silence rang out as everyone stopped and looked at me.
“Something you and Poe maybe want to announce to the rest of the squad? Should I get everybody in here?” Reflash asked.
I looked slowly to Poe who was laughing silently at me.
“Don’t look at me, baby. I thought we had a plan.”
I felt myself turn crimson and stammered, “Um, well, I guess I fucked that up!”
Laughter erupted around the table and Driller asked, “So for real? You guys getting hitched?”
I stared at Poe who grinned and nodded, slowly picking up speed.
“I asked her yesterday, at the hospital, but we didn’t want to hurt any feelings and I had planned to get a ring and ask again in front of you guys.”
“I am shit at keeping secrets or surprises. I thought you knew that about me – that I mentioned it or something.”
Poe couldn’t help himself. He threw back his head and laughed long and hard at my expense, but I couldn’t be mad about it.
“Wow.” Narcos chuckled and asked Blaze, “Did you know?”
Blaze was trying not to laugh too and said, “He told me today in the hardware store. Asked if I would be his best man.”
“Alright!” Narcos got up and pumped a fist. Reflash opened up the door to the rest of the bar and hollered out, “Poe’s gettin’ hitched!”
“What?” Ally demanded and looked up through the glass at me startled. For the longest half a second of my life, I thought protest would go up but instead, a great big whoop went up and everybody started filtering to the fishbowl’s door to congratulate us.
Reflash winked over at me. “Welcome to the biggest family you never knew you needed,” he said and I smiled.
“You’re wrong there,” I said. “I’ve always known I needed it. I just never thought it would be anything I would have.”
I looked at Poe and he reached over and put a hand on my knee.
“The only family that counts as far as I’m concerned,” he said and I bit my bottom lip.
“Your mom and dad? Your sister?”
“Don’t get a say. They had their shot at Christmas and they’re going to have to do a bit of groveling to come back from that fuckup. I love you. That’s it. The end of the story.”
I leaned over and he met me halfway, kissing me soundly as everyone filled the room through the bottleneck of its door.
Suddenly, I was drowning in more well wishes than I knew what to do with and I realized that sometimes it was the family that was chosen that meant more than the family you were born to… and I think Poe had that figured out a while ago.
Of course, I was behind on the curve, having no family left myself, but looking around me at the room full of enthusiastic friends and club? I looked forward to learning.
Epilogue
Saylor…
“You ready?” I looked in the dressing-table mirror to Skids coming up behind me in a fine, deep blue suit. The canvas of the tent surrounding us flapped in the breeze off the bay.
We were set up in Bayside Park and I was in the smaller canvas square tent that sat at the end of the aisle waiting to take my walk. I was nervous, my heart thundering in my chest, and I didn’t know why.
Probably because Lilli spent a fortune to make today perfect and you’re afraid of face planting in the middle of the aisle like a klutz.
“I think so,” I murmured and Skids smiled.
“You look beautiful,” he said, holding out a hand to me and I swung my legs around and put my hand in his and stood.
Ally had made my dress. We had found this beautiful gown in a thrift store that was this lovely ivory with a mesh back and a line of buttons from my neck to my butt, except it had these God-awful poofy princess sleeves al la the nineties that had to go. So, she had carefully deconstructed and reconstructed the thing into something so incredibly Bohemian chic that I almost couldn’t stand it and when I’d looked in the mirror the first time I had tried it on, I had burst into tears I had loved it so much.
The satin of the skirts whispered against my legs now that the awful tulle had been gotten rid of and it draped just beautifully into a train of only a few inches.
Some nineteen-forties era white shoes and a pair of sleek, natural stockings underneath and I was feeling sexy if not confident and almost couldn’t wait for Poe to see me.
“Thank you again, for doing this,” I said, my throat already trying to close up and Skids chuckled.
“It’s my pleasure,” he said as the music which had been playing turned to our cue and the flaps on the tent were pulled aside.
It was a long walk, it felt like, from here.
Up front, a trellised arch stood waiting. The officiant standing regal in his robes, our one concession to Poe’s mother – that her pastor do the honors – which honestly hadn’t been much to ask considering as president it was Skids’ usual place but I had already asked him to walk me down the aisle, so…
“Here we go, head high. You’re beautiful, Saylor.”
I looked up at Skids who winked down at me and we started forward.
On one side, Ally stood furthest from the center, then Claire, then Everleigh, then Lilli, and finally as my maid of honor, Coco.
Then there was the empty space waiting for me, and then Poe. He had a knuckle pressed against his lips, his deep green eyes already starting to mist over at the sight of me. I felt my own eyes grow wet and gave him a meaningful look begging him not to start or I would, and I didn’t want to ruin my makeup – even though I was sure waterproof everything had been used.
Next to Poe was his best man, Blaze. Then Backdraft, Driller, Golden, and Yale. Angel had agreed along with Narcos to be ushers and they stood in their places as well. Behind their suited figures were dress mannequins, and the idea that the rest of the ladies and I had. On the dress mannequins were their club colors. When they started down the aisle their colors were faced name patches forward, as much to show their place, but also because when they reached their place, they were to turn their headless, armless mannequin, so the back and the club’s patch could preside over the wedding as much as the officiant.
I got to the front and Skids handed me off to Poe and I smiled and thanked him, following him to his front-row seat. Except where he was supposed to be seated on the end there was no chair. He went to the next one in, because the seat of honor had my granddad’s guitar in it on its stand. His necklace, that I had given to Poe at Christmas, winking bright summer sunlight against its polished silver surface against the strings at the neck of the guitar, the silver chain secured around the tuning pegs.
A photo of my granddad sat on the ground amid a dusting of white rose petals, smiling out of the eight by ten silver frame that also winkled sunlight along its gleaming surface and I felt tears slip over the edges of my lashes and run down my cheeks.
I turned to Poe, and the smile in his eyes told me everything I had needed to know. That yes, this had been his idea and yes, he was so glad that I liked it.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Saylor Grace Dresden and Jeremy Allen Poe…”
It was a pretty speech from the pastor that didn’t amount to a lot considering that to us, it was all bullshit, but we stood and waited for our turns having written our own vows to each other.
Poe got to go first, and I honestly had no idea what he would say. He took the wedding band from Blaze and I held out my hand. He slipped my fingertip just through and paused.
“I’ve thought over and over wh
at I would say to you, and in front of all of these people and all of it just sounded trite or corny,” he said. “Because there literally just aren’t any words in any language to express to you just how I feel. There’s no word to encompass how much I love you, or how I live for you. How every breath I take, when I exhale, I want it to be in the shape of your name. Or how I felt like only half a man before you looked up at me under a blue moon on what had to be one of the most trying days of your life.”
He cleared his throat and glanced away to get it together as another fresh set of tears slid down my face and I couldn’t stop smiling if I wanted to.
“I’m glad I was the one. I’m glad I made the choices I did that night and I’m gifted beyond measure to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He slid the ring the rest of the way onto my finger and I sniffed.
“I love you,” he said. “To that blue moon and back.”
There was a titter of laughter and I laughed too and took his ring from Blaze who offered it to me.
I started it along his finger the same way he had mine and cleared my throat.
“You are,” I swallowed hard and tried valiantly to get it together, starting again. “You are, quite simply, the best thing to have ever happened to me,” I said.
“With nowhere to go, my back against a rock and nothing but hardships in front of me, you took my hand and led me out of the darkness. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you by my side. You’ve done what no one has ever done for me. You’ve loved me, unconditionally, you’ve stood up for me when there wasn’t even a need to do so, but you did, because that’s who you are.”
I choked up, I admit it.
Taking a deep breath, I continued.
“You give me shelter, you give me life, and I live for waking up with you in the morning. I would die without you at night, and I too don’t have the words to express just how much I love you and how much you make me look forward to ‘forever’ even though I’ve never had a reason to look past the next few hours my entire life. You give me permission to dream and I want to dream so big with you until the end of time.”