“Very well,” the Queen said. “Consider it a gift from me to you. Off with their heads!”
“Keep your little butter knives to yourselves,” Puck said. His sword was immediately in hand, but the card soldiers snatched him from behind, knocked his weapon to the ground, and tied his hands behind his back. Before Sabrina could react, the card soldiers had grabbed her and dragged her over to one of the stumps. Daphne was soon tied up as well, though she did manage to bite one of the guards on the hand.
“I’m sure you understand,” the Queen said, “this is the only true deterrent to crime. In the hundreds of beheadings I have ordered, only a handful of the criminals have become repeat offenders.”
“They were incorrigible, dear,” the King said.
“On your command, Your Majesty,” a hooded guard said.
Sabrina could not move. All she could do was look helplessly from the corner of her eye at the sharp ax above her.
The Queen cleared her throat. “Indeed. We can’t very well be bothered by this inconvenience all day. We have a game of croquet to play. Good sirs! Prepare your axes!”
5
s the guard raised his ax, something fell out of the trees above and landed in the crowd with a grunt. Several of the soldiers were flung to the ground. Sabrina craned her neck to get a better look at the chaos and was surprised to find an enormous striped cat fighting the cards. It was nearly as big as she was, and had a bushy tail and a big mouth full of teeth. It swatted men left and right with its oversize paws, and despite its fierce assault, a clever, almost happy smile stretched across its face. His attack was accompanied by a high-pitched whistle, which signaled more bizarre creatures to rush into the melée. Soon a giant puppy and an odd bird with an enormous beak were fighting by the cat’s side.
The card soldiers were befuddled. They jabbed their swords at the odd collection of animals. “Shoo! Shoo, you flea-bitten curses.”
The animals held their ground. The puppy charged at the men and sent them flailing into the woods. The unusual bird slammed its hard beak into the heads of villains. From the Queen’s party, the White Rabbit ran out to join them.
“What is the meaning of this?” the Queen bellowed.
“We’re busting out!” the White Rabbit said, swinging his pocket watch threateningly. The Queen fell back in shock, and the rabbit turned his attention to the hooded guard. “If you know what’s good for you . . .”
The guard set down his ax and ran, allowing the rabbit to untie Sabrina.
“Allow me to propose a deal,” the creature said as it hopped over to untie Daphne. “In exchange for saving your lives, you will allow us to accompany you out of this book.”
“What?”
“A simple business transaction, child. When you come upon the next door, you will allow my companions and me to join you with the intended goal of leaving the Book of Everafter. Do we have a deal?”
Sabrina was too distracted by the fighting to think clearly, but the little furry animal persisted.
“What say you?” the rabbit cried as it cut the bindings on Puck’s hands.
The rabbit was so busy talking, he didn’t notice a soldier rushing at him with a sword aimed at his chest. The giant cat leaped in the soldier’s way, forcing him to stop in his tracks. He swung his weapon hard and fast at the feline’s neck but just before it landed its deadly blow, the cat’s body disappeared, leaving only his big, toothy grin behind.
“He’s the Cheshire Cat,” Daphne said, biting her palm.
The Cheshire Cat reappeared and grabbed the soldier’s legs with its mouth. He dragged the distressed man up a tree to the highest branches and drove a sharp one right through its card body. It didn’t seem to hurt the soldier, but it did leave him helpless, kicking and struggling to free himself. A moment later, the cat fell from the tree, only to land on all fours. He shook out his coat and smiled.
Meanwhile, the puppy took several of the villains in its mouth and wrenched them around violently before dropping them on the ground, dizzy and battered. The bird, whom Sabrina would later learn was a long-extinct dodo, knocked many of the men out with a swift clunk of its rock-hard head.
The White Rabbit mostly just barked commands and warned the others of approaching attacks. It wasn’t long before the big animals had wiped out a majority of the Queen’s army. Those who were still able fled into the woods, along with the Queen and the King and their flock of courtiers.
“Quick work,” the dodo squawked.
“And not a scratch on us,” the puppy said, before his attention turned to catching his own tail.
“Just as I predicted,” the White Rabbit bragged. He stepped over some of the unconscious soldiers, bouncing on one’s head before he reached the children. He bowed in respect. “Allow me to introduce myself.”
“No need,” Sabrina said, unable to hide her disgust. “We know who you are.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re the White Rabbit and a member of the Scarlet Hand,” Sabrina said.
“The Scarlet what?” the rabbit said.
“You’re part of Mirror’s army,” Puck explained.
The rabbit turned to his friends and then reached up and felt his head. “Was I struck in the chaos? I’m having some trouble understanding this conversation. Children, I have never met any of you, ever. I’m sure I would remember. I don’t know any ‘Mirror,’ nor have I ever counted myself amongst any army—certainly not a scarlet one.”
“He’s not lying,” Daphne said, frowning. “We’ve never met him. This isn’t our White Rabbit. This is the fake one from this stupid book.”
Puck rolled his eyes. “All this real-world or storybook-world talk is giving me a headache. The only question that matters is: Can I roast him for dinner or not?”
“No,” Sabrina said, finally understanding her sister’s explanation. “Daphne’s right. He’s not a villain. None of them are.”
“You come from the world outside the Book, correct?” the dodo said.
Sabrina nodded. “We’re here looking for—hey! Where did Pinocchio go?” She scanned their surroundings. The little traitor was nowhere to be seen.
“He must have run off in all the chaos,” Daphne said.
“This Pinocchio is important to you?” the dodo squawked.
“We’re in this book to save our brother from a man known as Mirror. To stop him, we made a deal with the Editor. If we capture Pinocchio before he can make changes to his story, then the Editor will help us with our problem. We’ve been trying to find the little jerk and now we’ve lost him!”
“We can help,” the Cheshire Cat said. “Then you can free us.”
“Absolutely not!” Sabrina said. “You will slow us down.”
“You agreed!” the White Rabbit argued.
“I did not,” Sabrina said. “I barely understood a word you said. I was a bit distracted, trying to keep my head from being cut off.”
“I’m not sure we can take them even if we wanted to,” Daphne added. “They aren’t real.”
“The second we leave the Book, we’ll be as real as you,” the rabbit said.
“You don’t want to leave this book anyway,” Sabrina said. “The town we live in is on fire and our house is not much more than a demolition site.”
“You say all that like it’s a bad thing,” Puck said, surprised.
“Anything would be better than the endless tedium of being a character in a story that never ends,” the dodo said.
“What does ‘tedium’ mean?” Daphne asked.
“Tedium is kind of a boredom due to repetition.”
“What does repetition mean?”
“Having to do something over and over again.”
“It’s like brushing your teeth or changing your underwear. Eventually you just give up,” Puck said.
The Cheshire Cat ignored him. “This story never ends. When it gets to the last page, we are all sent back to the beginning. Each day we say the same things, wear the same cl
othes, and a few of us meet the same untimely deaths. Imagine living a life where you cannot make your own decisions lest you be devoured and rewritten. Imagine being stuck in the same day, forever and ever.”
“I just want to chase squirrels!” the puppy whimpered. “That’s all, but the Editor is mean. I did it once and he sent the monsters to fix me.”
“None of us volunteered to be in a living history book, and no one asks us if we are happy. The Editor is unsympathetic to our plight; thus, we have come to this drastic decision. The only way to escape our bondage is to escape the Book,” the White Rabbit said.
“The Editor is not going to be happy,” Sabrina warned. “We’ve met him, and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’s going to be pleased that you four are taking a vacation.”
“Who put him in charge? He rules over us without thought or mercy,” the dodo said. “Any little change in the story and our very existence is wiped clean.”
“If things are so bad, why haven’t you gone through one of the doors yourself?” Daphne asked.
“We’ve tried!” the puppy barked. “We can’t open the doors. Only outsiders can do that.”
Sabrina took a deep breath. She wished she could get away and think. That was the problem with being a Grimm—there was never any time to contemplate a decision. If only she could find a quiet tree and some time to analyze the characters’ requests. She hadn’t been lying about the Editor; she suspected he would be furious. But she could also be sympathetic. When she found out he was the Master, Mirror had told her a little of what his life was like as a prisoner. She would have done anything to free him if she’d known he was suffering, but he had never shared his pain. These four characters, strange as they were, wanted something she might be able to provide. On the other hand, they were four more people who were going to turn to her to lead them. They were four more people putting their lives and destinies in her hands. No! They couldn’t come. What if something went wrong?
“All right, you can come with us, but let’s get something clear, first,” Daphne said before Sabrina could answer. “We’re not strolling through these stories because they’re fun. We’re looking for Pinocchio. We can’t have anyone slowing us down. You fall behind—you’re on your own. If you get hurt, we will leave you. If the Editor sends revisers after you, we cannot stop to save you, and trust me, they’re gross—so keep up!”
“Agreed,” the White Rabbit said. “We will not be a burden. And in return, we offer our assistance in your search. This Pinocchio you speak of sounds like a powerful foe. You may need all the help you can get.”
“I will bite him!” the puppy said.
“Leave the biting to the experts,” Puck said, and bared his teeth.
“There’s just one last thing,” Sabrina said as she searched the ground for the unconscious body of the Nine of Diamonds. When she found him, she leaned over and snatched the ball of magic yarn out of his pocket. The old tingle of magic was there so she quickly tossed it to Daphne. The Cheshire Cat let out a loud squeal and leaped into the air. He caught the ball in his mouth and landed on all fours. Then he spit it out and batted it back and forth with his striped paws.
Daphne shrieked and rushed over and yanked it from his grasp. “Bad kitty,” she chastised. “This is our way out of here. It’s leading us to Pinocchio.”
“Intriguing,” the White Rabbit replied. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I believe it would be wise to get out of this particular story as soon as possible. The Editor has to have noticed the changes to our story by now.”
“I agree!” the dodo cried.
“Luckily, we’re at the end of this tale, so all we have to do is find the door,” Daphne said, and then whispered instructions to the yarn. It hopped out of her hands and rolled into the woods. They gave chase and soon came to a door standing amongst the bank of trees. As she was the first one to arrive, Daphne turned the doorknob, and it swung open with a blast of wind so powerful Sabrina feared it might knock her off her feet. Struggling against the violent air, she turned and urged her new companions to follow. “This is it!”
“Be brave, friends,” the White Rabbit said to his fellow rebels. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his jacket and slid a monocle in front of his eye. Then he hopped forward and disappeared through the doorway. The puppy let out a happy howl and rushed in after him. The Cheshire Cat tucked his head down and pulled his ears back, and a moment later he was gone too.
“I had my doubts this day would come,” the dodo said as he stared at the open doorway.
“Save it for your diary, pal,” Puck said, kicking him in the behind and forcing him into the abyss. “We’re in a hurry.”
A moment later, the children were charging forward into the unknown. When the world came back into focus, the group found themselves in the thick undergrowth of a huge forest. Almost immediately they spotted Pinocchio several yards from where they were standing. The boy was bent over, with hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. When he spotted them, he cursed creation itself and then hefted the birdcage he had taken from the card soldiers and freed his wooden minions.
“Keep these fools away from me,” Pinocchio ordered. Then he dashed off into the forest.
“Not the puppets again!” Sabrina complained.
“Don’t worry, honey bunny,” Puck said as the creatures raced toward them. “I won’t let anyone put a finger on my sweet-ums.”
The Trickster King never got a chance to defend her—or himself. The marionettes hopped onto his back and legs. They untied his shoelaces and yanked on his hair. When he managed to brush them off, they jumped onto Sabrina. She swatted at them, but even when she managed to knock one off, another took its place.
Finally, the dodo helped out—first it smashed the marionette that looked like Granny Relda, and then the one made to resemble Veronica, Sabrina and Daphne’s mother, with its hard head. That left only the figures that looked like Daphne, Uncle Jake, and Henry Grimm, father of the Grimm girls. The Cheshire Cat snatched them up in his mouth while the puppy furiously dug a hole. The cat spit them out and the dog buried them. All of the marionettes had finally met their end.
Sabrina charged into the woods after Pinocchio, and after only a few steps she spotted him. He was standing before a giant shoe. It was nearly twenty feet high and was brown with a gigantic and tarnished brass buckle on top. Carved into the shoe’s heel was a door decorated with a festive garland and a little mat on the ground that read WELCOME. Sabrina watched the boy swing the door open, rush inside, and slam the door behind him.
“No way!” Daphne said as she caught up with Sabrina.
“What?” the Cheshire Cat asked when he and his friends joined the children.
“This can’t be real,” Sabrina said.
“Hello?” Puck cried impatiently. “What story is this?”
“It’s ‘The Little Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe,’ ” Daphne said, and then bit into her palm.
“Never heard of it,” the dodo squawked.
“Never heard of it?” Daphne exclaimed. “Everyone knows this story.”
“I don’t,” Puck said. “If it’s in a book, I’m blissfully unaware of its existence.”
“It goes like this, ‘There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe; she had so many children she didn’t know what to do.’ Honestly, I don’t know the rest.”
“There’s no monster?” Puck said.
Daphne shook her head.
“No dragon? No witch? No one gets eaten?”
“No,” Sabrina said.
“Then what are we doing out here? Let’s go in there and grab that pointy-nosed loser,” Puck said. He marched up to the door and threw it open, only to be drowned in a flood of filthy children squeezing out of the door and running into the woods. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands. It was hard to tell, as they just kept coming and coming like the bubbles in a shaken bottle of soda. The dodo snatched the puppy and flew into the air while the rabbit straddled the cat and was carrie
d high into the branches of a tree. Sabrina and Daphne had to leap out of the way to avoid being trampled.
A frail old woman appeared in the doorway. “Have fun!” she called. “And don’t be late for supper. We’re having broth.”
She spotted the group of interlopers, eyed them angrily, and whispered, “Go away,” before slamming the door closed.
The girls rushed to help Puck to his feet. The poor boy had been trampled and had little shoe prints all over his body.
“Are you OK?” Sabrina said.
“I would have preferred a monster,” Puck said, much the worse for wear.
“He’s using the children to escape,” Daphne said. “He’s hiding in the crowd.”
“I’ll get him!” Puck said as his wings sprang from his back. They flapped a bit, but he didn’t seem to have the energy to get off the ground.
It was pointless anyway. A door appeared across the clearing and Pinocchio raced toward it from the woods. Before anyone could stop him, he had slipped through and slammed it behind him. The door then dissolved before their eyes.
Sabrina sat down beside the shoe. She was tired, hungry, and angry. She knew everyone was looking to her for answers. But besides her sister and Puck, she couldn’t have cared less about any of them.
“I beg your forgiveness, but what do we do next?” the White Rabbit asked. “Shouldn’t we go after the boy?”
“We eat,” Puck said. Sabrina wondered if the boy’s sudden leadership was his way of taking some of the pressure off of her, but then she shook her head. Puck was incapable of being so sensitive.
The rabbit and the cat groused a bit but said nothing that would start an argument. The puppy sniffed the air and claimed he could lead them to wild berries. Sabrina wasn’t sure it was wise to step outside the boundaries of the story again. The last thing she or the others needed was another encounter with that . . . that thing that lurked there. Still, everyone was famished. There was no point in putting everyone in danger, so she insisted that Puck and Daphne and the others stay behind.
The Inside Story Page 9