I could only shake my head. I was fighting tears.
“Look, for whatever it’s worth,” Landon said, “I hate her less than I used to.”
“Oh,” I said. “Well, great. That’s fabulous. Thanks for that.”
He spread his hands. “Best I can do, I’m afraid.”
Viggo settled down next to her on the forest floor. He brushed at her hair absently. “We can’t move her.”
“I know,” I said.
“But we need to move her,” said Viggo. “We have to get her someplace where she can be comfortable and heal these wounds. The woods is no place for a vampire with a bad werewolf bite.”
“That’s a catch-twenty-two,” I said.
“I’ll stay with her,” said Viggo. “You go and find the town nearby. Find out where we are. Get some kind of transportation.”
“I’ll stay with her,” I countered. “I’m her sister.”
“No, she needs protection,” said Viggo. “And I’m the strongest.” He hesitated. “Unless it would distress her for me to be with her when she is in this state. Then I would accept the bloodhound as a substitute.”
“Well, I’m sure it would distress her,” I said.
“No,” whispered Desta. “Viggo can stay.”
Viggo looked down at her. “Try to sleep, sweet one. You shouldn’t be exerting yourself right now.”
“You both stay,” said Landon. “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”
* * *
Viggo and I decided that it would be better to alternate watching Desta. Since he was better at night, he would watch in the night, and I could sleep, and then I could keep watch in the day. We weren’t sure how long it would take for the others to come back. The town that Viggo had seen was very far away.
I gave Desta my blood to help her heal, and Viggo did what he could to help set her broken bones.
After giving the blood, I was very exhausted, so I lay down next to her in the grass. But I had slept the whole day away, so I didn’t sleep the entire night. I woke up sometime before the dawn to hear Desta and Viggo talking in quiet voices.
“You’re going to be fine,” Viggo was saying. “I don’t want you to worry.”
“I’m not worried,” Desta said. “I might have been, months ago, but not since…” She sucked in a noisy breath.
“Save your strength,” Viggo murmured. “You don’t need to talk.”
“Not since,” Desta continued, ignoring him, “you came to rescue me from that hole where the witch was keeping us, and that was when I realized that I had it wrong.”
“I mean it. Quiet now,” he said. “Try to sleep.” A beat. “What did you have wrong?”
Desta chuckled softly. “You. I always thought you were just toying with me, the way you toyed with everything.”
“No,” said Viggo firmly. “You aren’t a toy.”
“But isn’t that the way you thought of everyone in your kingdom? As a plaything? Something for you to manipulate or to poke or prod? See what happened next?”
“Not you.”
“Why not me? Just because I was a little sassy with you?”
“I don’t know,” said Viggo. “All I know is that ever since I’ve been free of the capital city, free of ruling, I’ve felt better than I have in years. And the only thing that matters to me is you. But that’s been true for years now, since the moment I clapped eyes on you.”
She snorted. “Oh, please. From the moment you saw me. You’re making it sound like some kind of fairy tale.”
“It is,” he said. “You are a fairy tale princess, and I want to be your Prince Charming. I love you, Desta.”
I wanted to interrupt at this point, and I raised my head to look at them.
But then I saw the expression on Desta’s face, and I couldn’t. I had to stay quiet. Because I couldn’t be responsible for ruining her happiness.
She reached up and touched his cheek. “Oh, Viggo…” And then she snorted. “You’re Prince Charming all right. You suck blood and order people to their deaths on a whim. You’re a demon prince is more like it.”
“Yes, fine,” said Viggo. “I’m not perfect, and maybe I don’t care as much as you would like about…” He gestured. “Everyone else. But know this. I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you with my life. I will do whatever it is that makes you happy. Even leaving you alone, if that is what you want.”
Desta smiled sadly. “I believe that you would.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
I felt relief. Thank goodness she hadn’t proclaimed her love for him right then. I could hold out hope that she would refuse him in the end. Because I would stand aside if Desta wanted him, but I really didn’t like Viggo. At all.
“Of course,” he said. “You mustn’t think of such things right now. After all, you’re wounded. Just rest, as I’ve said.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “Talking helps keep my mind off the pain. It’s a very bad pain, but it’s different than when I was hurt badly as a human. It’s not nearly as terrifying. I suppose it must be because I’m certain I’ll survive it.”
“Yes, it’s comforting to know such things, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” said Desta. “I think that vampires forget what it means to lose, and it makes them hollow. When there is nothing at stake, nothing means anything. That is why most vampires are so horrible to everything and everyone around them. I never want to be that, do you understand?”
“You’re not.”
“Aren’t I? You see what I did to Landon, don’t you?”
“The bloodhound.” Viggo scoffed. “He’s not important. Besides, he hurt you. In some ways, maybe he deserves it.”
“He doesn’t. He was innocent.”
“Well…” Viggo sighed. “Look, you oughtn’t blame yourself. It was my fault, not yours. You were trying to make amends. I ruined it.”
“You sound almost as if you regret it.”
“Perhaps I do.”
“The great Viggo Heathcote, feeling regret? What has come over you?”
“You have,” he said. “Or perhaps it’s as you said. Things feel real now that I’ve been captured and held underground against my will, now that I’ve worked hard to protect people that I care about.”
“You care about them?”
“Well… somewhat, anyway.”
She laughed.
“You’re good for me, Desta.”
“I think I am,” she said. “But are you good for me?”
“You’re afraid that I’ll make you cruel and unfeeling? That you’ll spend time with me and become like all the other vampires?”
“Yes,” she said. “Even though I know that it’s possible that time will make me that way no matter what.”
“You will never be that way,” he said. “It would go against your essential nature.”
“Hundreds of years change people,” said Desta. “In time, you’ll outgrow me or I’ll outgrow you.”
“No, I don’t think so,” said Viggo. “But then, no one can be sure of what the future will bring.”
She was quiet.
“Listen, you really must try to sleep,” he said.
“I will,” she said. “I’ll think about it, about whether I want you to leave me alone or whether I want to be with you.”
“Desta—”
“I’ll let you know what I decide.”
* * *
I took over the watch at dawn. Desta was still asleep.
Viggo and I had done our best to clean and dress her wounds, but we didn’t have much in the way of resources. There was a stream nearby with clean water and we only had our clothing to bandage her. She could heal the wounds without bandaging, but she might be deformed, so it was best to set things as much as possible.
I sat with her until the midmorning, when I caught sight of a rabbit wandering through the trees. I shifted quickly into a wolf and caught and ate it. I was starv
ing, and it was handy to be able to eat in wolf form. The food would sustain me once I shifted back.
After I ate, Desta woke up. I was still in wolf form, burying the bones of my prey.
I shifted back into human form and pulled on the tatters that passed as clothing, which was all I had these days. “How are you doing?” I asked her.
She grimaced. “As well as I can do with my stomach ripped open. I think I’m starting to heal, though. I feel a bit better.”
“That’s good,” I said.
“Do you think the others are having any luck finding that town?”
“I hope so.”
“You know, it might be hard for them, and we don’t know how far away it is. And I hope they’ll be able to find their way back to us when they do.”
“I’m sure they’re marking their path,” I said. “I know they’ll come back for us.” Well, they would come back for me, anyway. I knew that Sinead, Ewan, and Landon would do that. Desta was part of the package deal.
“Yes,” she said. “They’ll be back. I hope it’s soon.”
“Me too.” I looked away. Then I looked back. “Are you really considering being with Viggo?” I blurted.
“What?” she said.
“I might have overheard your conversation with him last night,” I said. “You can’t do this, Desta. After all the awful things he’s done? You can’t forgive him.”
“I know,” she said. “He doesn’t deserve it.”
“No, he doesn’t.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s good you’re talking sense.”
“Well, I’m not really,” she said. “Because, you see, I have forgiven him, even though he doesn’t deserve it.”
“What?” I was completely thrown. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “But the truth is that Viggo has always been, well, somewhat alluring to me. He was the vampire king and yet he seemed so interested in me. It would turn any girl’s head.”
“But you always refused him.”
“That was our game,” she said. “Most new vampires, when they are first made, they would promise anything, do anything to stay alive.”
“And you didn’t?”
“No,” she said. “Viggo discovered I had been made—”
“You know, I’ve always wondered how you managed that,” I said. “Not to interrupt or anything, but I’m curious. How did you become a vampire?”
“Well, that wasn’t exactly easy,” she said. “But I went to the vampire that I knew ran the blood bank in town. He’d winked at me a couple of times. I thought maybe I could talk him into it, and I could. But then he regretted it right away. He could have been punished by Viggo, and he tried to kill me. But I was saved, because Viggo found out and he wanted me brought before him.”
“Right,” I said. “And you didn’t beg Viggo for your life?”
“Well, I didn’t beg the vampire to make me either,” she said. “I don’t think people like to give in to pathetic people. They like to feel enticed to do something they wouldn’t do otherwise. I tried to be enticing.”
“To the vampire king?” I laughed. “You’ve always been gutsy. I would have never thought I was enticing.”
“Oh, not to him.” She laughed too. “No, I didn’t think I could entice Viggo. By that time, I was tired and in pain, and I hadn’t had any blood to drink, so I was starving. I felt awful, and I thought that maybe this wasn’t worth it. I knew that being a wolf would have been a kind of death for me, so I thought maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe I would just die. I was decided. So, when Viggo asked me what I would do in order to stay alive, I told him to kill me if he had to. I was done doing vampires favors.” She smirked. “It was the hunger talking, I think. I’m never that mouthy.”
“But he liked it,” I said.
“For some reason, he did,” she said. “And that was when I realized that in order to stay in the king’s graces, I needed to keep playing that game, mouthing off to him for his amusement.”
“So that you could stay alive.”
“Exactly,” she said. “But it was only a game we played. A bit of a flirtatious game, I suppose. And in the end, I wasn’t sure how much of it was my playing a part and how much of it was real. On either of our parts. But I believe Viggo now. He truly cares about me. And I…” She sighed.
“What? You don’t know how you feel about him?”
“No, I do know. I just don’t want to admit it.”
“Because you’re afraid he’ll be angry that you haven’t fallen for him.”
“No. Because I’m ashamed that I have fallen for him, when I know what he is.”
I rocked back, letting out a slow breath.
“See,” said Desta. “That look on your face. You’re horrified.”
“I’m not… horrified,” I said, and I wasn’t sure how convincing I sounded. I really wasn’t horrified. That would be putting it too strongly. I understood. I did. Viggo was powerful and ageless, and he was obsessed with my sister. I could see how that could be, you know, a powerful thing. But I also didn’t think he could be trusted. I didn’t want my sister to be hurt.
“You are.”
“No,” I said. “He’s not all bad, I’ll give you that. But he is bad. There are parts of him that are despicable. And he likes you now, but if he ever turned on you… If you were with him, I would worry about you all the time.”
“I didn’t say I was going to run away with him.”
“Good. Don’t.”
“So, that’s your vote? Very firmly against?”
“Definitely,” I said.
“Right,” she murmured.
* * *
When the sun went down again, I went back to sleep, but as I was drifting off, I heard the sound of werewolves howling in the distance.
So, I wasn’t surprised when Viggo woke me up to watch Desta while he buried some werewolf bodies. But I was annoyed.
“You didn’t have to kill them,” I said to him. “They can’t help but shift. They have no alpha. They’re lost and alone in a strange place, and of course they’re acting out. It’s not their fault.”
“Their fault or not, it’s better if they’re not around to hurt Desta any worse,” said Viggo.
“Well, I’d appreciate it if you’d wake me up to help you fight them off.”
“I didn’t need any help,” said Viggo, giving me a withering look. “I was perfectly capable of dispatching them.”
“Killing them, you mean. Kill them first, ask questions later. That’s why you’re a monster, Viggo.”
He smirked. “Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?”
“Yes,” I said. “It’s supposed to make you feel ashamed. If there was any part of you that hadn’t been consumed by your ancient evil self, it would.”
“Oh, really, Camber, just watch your sister while I bury these bodies. I don’t want the blood to bring by any other predators.”
I made a face at him, which was incredibly mature, but I didn’t say anything else, and he went off with the bodies. I checked on Desta, and she was asleep. Her wounds seemed to be healing a bit, but they were still pretty bad.
While I watched her, I tried to figure out what I could do to make sure that she didn’t run off with the psychotic bastard she’d told me that she’d fallen for. She knew it was stupid. She’d admitted as much. She’d get over it if she met someone else. I just needed to get Viggo away from her. He was bad for her.
Then I had an uncomfortable thought.
Basically everyone in the world had told me that Landon was bad for me, and they’d had very valid points. He was still dangerous. He could rage out at any time, and he could kill me and hurt people close to me. But I had decided to take that risk.
True, it wasn’t quite the same thing. Landon didn’t choose to turn into a monster, and Viggo was in full control of himself. But it amounted to the same danger. And at least Viggo seemed likely to protect my sister, whereas Landon couldn’t stop himself in rage mode.
/> Maybe I was being a hypocrite.
I had found a way to be with Landon.
It was very possible that, no matter what I said, my sister would find a way as well. And by telling her I disapproved, I was only making her more miserable about it.
Desta had given me her blessing to be with Landon. I couldn’t even imagine what that had cost her. She had risked everything for Landon more than once—to let him be free of her, to get his chip removed, to set him free from the vampires. She had put it all on the line for him, and he’d repayed her by falling for me. I knew how much that must have hurt her.
Yet, despite everything, she was moving past that, and she’d fallen for someone else.
He wasn’t the person I would have picked for my sister, but it wasn’t my choice. It was hers.
Or, well, as much of a choice as love really was, anyway.
I didn’t know if I truly believed in fate. Supposedly, I was fated to be with Judah, and that obviously hadn’t been true. But I knew that sometimes things felt right, and sometimes they didn’t. I knew to trust the feeling of rightness. If Desta thought she belonged with Viggo, then it wasn’t my place to try to keep them apart. I should support her decision. It was what a good sister would do.
Then Viggo came back, and I thought of being locked in a cage in his room while he forced me to strip off my clothes by threatening Landon’s life. I thought of how he forced Landon into rage mode just to make both of us suffer, and I hated him. I glared at him.
“What?” he said. “What did I do? I haven’t even been near you.”
“Your presence offends me,” I muttered.
Desta woke up, coughing. “I wish you two wouldn’t fight.”
I turned away, looking down at the ground, trying to force my hatred down. It was no use. It wasn’t going anywhere.
A noise, in the distance. Something moving through the underbrush. More wolves?
But no, I caught a familiar scent over the breeze. Landon.
And then my alpha bond flared, and I could feel Landon and the others. They were coming to us.
“The others are back,” I said, leaving Viggo with Desta and going to meet them. I rushed through the woods until I found them. They were hacking a path through the underbrush with a big pair of garden shears. I gave everyone hugs, even Aston. I also gave Landon a quick kiss on the cheek, even though afterward he gave me a look that smoldered—a warning that I was playing with fire.
Canticle to the Midnight Moon Page 9