On the other hand, Aston did seem like the kind of guy who was mostly preoccupied with himself. Maybe he really hadn’t thought of what I might want.
We’d see.
I didn’t want to obsess over it, so I turned to other things, like checking on Desta, who was doing a lot better.
I hadn’t forgotten my promise to take her to see Viggo at dusk, so around that time I loaded her into a wagon, propped up on a gazillion pillows, and wheeled her out there to see him. She was still just a little too weak to stand.
Viggo was waiting, standing in the twilight, his blond curls catching the light of the newly risen moon. He had his arms folded over his chest, and he looked stern and unassailable. I hated him, but I guessed I could see why Desta might think differently.
When he saw Desta, he hurried forward and knelt down next to her. “Are you okay? You can’t walk yet?”
“I can,” said Desta. “But Camber is being a mother hen.”
“She can’t,” I said. “She’s trying to push it.”
“Don’t push it,” said Viggo. “It’s best to make sure everything heals right. Especially with those ribs. Are you sure they’re set well?”
“Yes, you did a good job. The werewolf doctor looked at me, said everything was in order.”
“I don’t know if I trust werewolf doctors,” muttered Viggo.
“They wouldn’t do anything to the sister of the alpha,” I spoke up. “You don’t have to worry.”
Viggo gazed into Desta’s eyes. “Listen… I’ve been thinking that I should go.”
“What?” said Desta.
“Yes, it’s ridiculous for me to linger here,” he said. “When you’re healed, you’ll go back to the city. It’s where you belong, and I’m sure Ondine will welcome you.”
Desta forced herself to sit upright in the wagon. “Where will you go?”
“I haven’t decided that yet,” said Viggo. “But I suppose the world is my oyster. Maybe I’ll go overseas. I haven’t been in fifty years or more. I’m sure a lot has changed.”
“People will recognize you.”
“I’ll compel them to forget that they know who I am,” said Viggo.
“Well, it sounds like you have it all figured out, then,” she said.
“It won’t be as comfortable as a life in the city,” he said. “It’ll be exile. It won’t be the life for you.”
“I imagine you’ll compel your way into the best hotels,” said Desta. “You’ll be comfortable enough.”
“Perhaps,” he said. “Perhaps I’ll really rough it and backpack across the mountains.”
Desta scoffed. “You’d never do something like that.”
“You might be surprised. I’ve just survived being trapped in a hole, after all,” said Viggo.
“What if…” Desta looked back at me. “What if I don’t want to go to the city?”
Viggo lifted his chin. “What are you saying?”
“I want to go with you,” said Desta.
“I don’t imagine your sister likes that idea,” said Viggo, turning to me. “Perhaps you’d like to weigh in.”
I sighed. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”
Desta craned her neck around to see me. “I’m sorry, Camber. It’s only that if I tried to go back to the city, I think I’d spend all of my time wondering what might have been. Being with him, it’s a risk, but…”
“It’s worth it,” I said. “I know. You have my blessing. But I’m not inviting him to family holidays.”
Desta’s mouth dropped open. “I have your blessing?”
“Yes,” I said. “Let’s not make a thing of it.” I glared at Viggo. “You’re scum, you know that. I still hate you.”
“And I have always found you delightful,” said Viggo, smiling at me. “Both of you,” he said, turning to Desta.
They looked at each other in a really disgusting way, then, and I had a feeling they were about to kiss.
“I’ll just be over here,” I said.
* * *
“I don’t get it,” Desta was saying as I wheeled her back to the cabin. She’d probably be with us for two more days, and then she would be well enough to travel with Viggo. “You hate him. So, why would you give me your blessing?”
“That thing about risk?” I said. “I get it. Being with Landon is a risk. He could rage out at any time. He can control it, of course, but he doesn’t have absolute control over it. I decided the risk was worth it, and I knew that you would too.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“Besides, you’ve been so good about Landon and me, even though he’s still a dick to you, and what kind of a sister would I be if I wouldn’t accept your boyfriend?”
“Well, you don’t accept him. You said he couldn’t come to family dinners.”
“True,” I said. “You have my blessing, now I never want to see him again.”
She laughed. “Oh, Camber.”
“Maybe once a year. Like Christmas or something.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“Okay, maybe twice a year,” I said. “But that’s it, and I’m serious.”
She was still laughing. “You’re bending on this pretty quickly.”
“I…” I shrugged. “When it comes to you, he does seem different. And as long as he’s that devoted to you, I know you’ll be safe.”
“That’s true.”
“And you’re going to be happy, right?”
“I hope so,” she said. “I really hope so.”
When I got her back to the cabin and helped her into bed, she caught my arm before I left and told me to sit down.
“What?” I said. “Aren’t you comfortable? Do you want something else to read or watch? Or another blanket? More pillows?”
“I am drowning in pillows,” she said. “Really. I’m practically healed. Stop fussing over me.”
“So, then, what’s wrong?”
“I…” She swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, leaving with Viggo.”
“But you decided it,” I said. “I’m supporting your decision.”
“Well, when I made it, I sort of thought you were going to talk me out of it.”
“Do you want me to talk you out of it?”
“He’s… he’s done awful things,” she said.
“I know,” I said.
“I think he’s different, though,” she said. “I feel like he’s changed since he lost his kingdom. Do you think he’s different?”
I hesitated.
“You don’t think so?”
“Well, I haven’t watched him compel anyone to cut their own head off but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t, you know?”
“I think if I asked him not to, he wouldn’t.”
I considered. “Yeah, I think you’re right. He likes to please you.”
“Is that enough?”
I was quiet. “I don’t know the answer to that question. You have to decide.”
She grimaced. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”
I took her hand and squeezed it. “If you don’t want to go with him, say the word. I’ll be behind you, whatever you decide.”
* * *
“So, uh, when were you going to tell me that you had Aston working on a cure for the rage mode?” greeted Landon when I walked into the living room later. He was sitting in front of the fire with a mug of hot buttered rum. It was a complicated drink, but he had figured out how to make in the microwave. He used an immersion blender, too. I thought it was a lot of effort for something that wasn’t even really going to get him drunk, since he was a bloodhound and it took a lot of alcohol to affect him. However, he seemed to really enjoy it, and he had been drinking it most nights.
I crossed the room to sit down next to him in the other chair. “Soon. I was going to tell you soon.”
“Like right now?”
“Well… there are a lot of things on my mind.”
He took a drink, eyeing me over the mug.
“How did you find out?”
“Oh, Aston came to ask me some questions, and they were kind of intrusive, and then we realized that I had no idea what he was talking about because you hadn’t talked to me about it.”
“It’s a long shot. It’s probably not even going to work.”
“You made it a condition of his getting to stay, and he really wants to stay,” said Landon. “And I was at that council meeting, and I don’t remember them saying that it was negotiable to let him stay.”
I chewed on my lip. “Are you mad?”
“I’m…” He sucked in a breath through his nose. “No. I’m not. This is how you are. You get ideas in your head, and you think you can fix everything for everyone. And the hell of it is, you tend to manage to make it happen a lot of the time. You do the impossible, and I’m kind of in awe of that. It’s one of the reasons I love you.”
I felt a little bit of heat steal over my cheeks. “I love you, too.”
“I’m worried, I guess, that Aston is going to rush it, that he’s going to make mistakes, and that… I don’t know. I don’t want you to be in danger. It only takes me raging out once to kill you. And I can’t live in a world where you’re gone, especially not a world where it’s my fault that you are.”
“I’m not going to die,” I said. “When we test it, we’ll be careful. I’ll make sure that Aston tests it.”
“Find another way for him to be part of the pack,” said Landon. “And then tell him to work on the cure in his spare time. He’ll do it. He loves his work.”
“Yeah,” I said. “He does.”
“Will you do that?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll find another way for Aston to be part of the pack. It won’t matter to the council if he makes a cure for you anyway.”
“My thoughts exactly.” He grinned at me. “You want one of these?” He pointed at his mug.
“That’s okay. I’m good.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” I laughed.
He leaned back in his chair, kicking his legs out. “Anyway, I see how this is. You just want me for my body.”
I laughed again. Well, maybe I giggled.
“It’s all about sex. You can’t get enough of me.”
“I guess you’re wildly against the idea.”
“Are you kidding? I love being celibate. Best thing that ever happened to me. You’re the sex-obsessed fiend here. I’m the one who keeps himself under control all the time.”
“You are,” I said. I reached out and touched him, ran my hand over his arm.
He looked at me sharply.
“It can’t be easy is all,” I said. “If there’s a way to make it easier…”
“I appreciate it. I do.”
“Maybe if he can do it, we can offer the cure to other bloodhounds,” I said. “We can make our own army of bloodhounds, and then when the vampires demand that we submit to them, we can stand against them.”
“Well, well, well,” he said. “You’re always making plans, aren’t you? Trying to fix everything for everyone.”
I winked at him. “Nah, I’m just covering for the fact that I’m a sex-obsessed fiend.”
He chuckled, low in his throat. “I really want to kiss you right now.”
“So, do it?”
He shook his head. “Bad idea.”
I bit down on my bottom lip.
He cleared his throat and then turned back to his cup of liquor.
“I want to kiss you too,” I said. “I always want to kiss you.”
“Yeah, ditto,” he said, giving me a knowing look.
We stared at each other for a long time, the flames in the fireplace dancing and staining the room red and orange and spilling warmth and light onto us.
Eventually, we had to look away.
That night, we slept together in the same bed. I was in wolf form, of course, but we got under the covers together, and he spooned his body against mine, and I was cocooned in his warmth. We were safe and happy and it was good.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Anyone else?” I said.
“It’s a small village,” said Ewan. “And, I mean, the pack is very open and embraces everyone, but being gay, it’s not exactly easy for werewolves.”
“Because of the mating thing,” I said. I was in Ewan’s and Sinead’s living room the next day. Sinead and Ewan were sitting together on a couch opposite me. He had his arm around her, and she was sitting so close to him that they were practically merged into the same person. I looked at them, and I couldn’t help but think about how I wanted that with Landon, and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to get it.
“Yes,” said Ewan.
“But there are gay werewolves,” I said. “Because I’ve heard people talk about them before. That’s the whole reason that Landon and I could mate, because there’s a pack with a gay alpha.”
“Well, yeah, but I just don’t know them,” said Ewan. “People don’t tend to come up to me and confide their gayness.”
“Do you think wolves hide it?” I said.
“I’m not even sure why we’re having this conversation,” said Ewan.
“I need you to tell me who the gay wolves are so that I can convince one to fall for Aston Waterfield and then I’ll tell the council he has to stay, because he’s mated to someone in the pack.”
“He’s a human,” said Sinead. “They can’t mate.”
“Well, not in a werewolf way,” I said. “But some wolves choose human mates, right? It happens.”
“It does,” confirmed Ewan. “My mother was a wolf, and my father was human.”
“So, if he mates with someone in the pack, he’s part of the pack,” I said. “Simple.”
“Who’s going to fall in love with Aston?” said Sinead. “I mean, before he got blood slaved to the vampires in the dungeon, all he did was complain. As if there was anything any of us could do.”
“Well, it doesn’t have to be love love,” I said. “As long as they’re having sex. That’s all it takes for wolves, after all.”
“Yeah, but if wolves are mated, there’s a mystical thing that happens,” said Sinead.
“Why do you want Aston in the pack anyway?” said Ewan.
“Oh, he wants to be in the pack,” I said. “And I told him I’d find a way for him to be in the pack if he, uh, found a way to get rid of Landon’s rage mode.”
Sinead’s eyes got wide. She sat up straight. “That’s a thing? He can do that?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But Landon says that if I tie it to his acceptance into the pack, it puts pressure on him, and he might rush it and not do the best job. Which, you know, makes sense and all.”
“So, you want to find Aston a mate instead,” said Sinead.
“Can’t you just declare him pack?” said Ewan. “You’re the freaking alpha.”
“The council hates me right now,” I said.
“So?” said Ewan. “You’re still the alpha.”
“Yeah, but I think it would be easier if they didn’t think I was bossing them around and doing whatever I wanted.”
“Except you are,” said Sinead.
“Just… what’s that guy’s name again?” I said.
“Wailan Michaels,” said Ewan. “He lives over on Hill Street.”
“And he’s the only gay wolf you know of in the pack?”
“Yeah,” said Ewan.
* * *
“Too short,” said Wailan Michaels. He was standing in the doorway of his cabin, and I had to admit that he towered over me and would also tower over Aston. To be fair, though, Wailan would tower over anyone. He had to be over seven feet tall. He was huge and muscled and tan, with a long shock of dark hair that fell over one eye. He kept tossing it out of his face.
“You should meet him,” I said.
“I have,” said Wailan. “I talked to him once when he was outside his lab. He was pretty freaked about some chemical getting contaminated and no one respecting his space. It’s not like he has a
sparkling personality either.”
“Well…” I thought about it. “He grows on you.”
Wailan arched an eyebrow.
“Sort of,” I said.
“I’m not a shallow person,” said Wailan. “I would prefer to have a connection with a guy that was built on something besides the way he looked. But I’m not going to lie, I’ll make an exception for assholes if they’re really hot. And Aston Waterfield is neither fun to talk to nor fun to look at.”
“Ouch,” I said.
“Furthermore, why is he sending you to ask me out? Is he going to have you pass me notes after gym class? ‘Do you like me? Circle yes or no’?”
“It’s not like that. He doesn’t know I’m here. I’m just… he wants into the pack, and if he had a mate—”
“Wait, now you’re asking me to mate with him?”
“It’s not as though you have a lot of options,” I said. “I asked Ewan Fursteeth about gay guys in the pack, and he only knew of you.”
Wailan folded his arms over his chest. “I’m going to give you a minute to take that back.”
“Take it back?”
“You don’t think what you just said was incredibly offensive?”
I took a deep breath. And then I let it out. “I guess this whole thing is offensive, isn’t it? I mean, assuming that you’d be into a guy just because you were both gay, it’s…”
“Narrow-minded thinking.”
I hung my head. “I’m sorry. This was really crappy of me. I didn’t mean to be… I mean, of course, there’s got to be more to finding someone attractive than just having the proper sexual orientation. I was just…”
“Thinking that if there were less options, I’d be less picky?”
I cringed.
He sighed. “Well, it’s unfortunately probably true. And I’m not the only gay guy in the pack.”
“I knew you couldn’t be,” I said.
“A lot of wolves are in the closet,” he said. “You have no idea the kind of pressure there is to mate with a female wolf. Older generations did it, and then had flings on the side.”
“But it shouldn’t be that way,” I said.
Canticle to the Midnight Moon Page 11