Hearing that sound sends heat through my body. Why does that sound affect me like this? The heat pools between my legs and I don’t know why.
“Ari.” I hear him growl.
I stop thinking. Does he know I am here? Did I make too much noise? Does he need my help?
Without thinking, I find myself walking the short distance toward him. I am beside him and look up at his face. His eyes are closed so he can’t see me. I look down his body, to see where the injury may be. But what I see is not what I thought I would see.
His penis is out of his shorts, and his fist is wrapped around it. Jerking up and down at a fast pace. I can’t look away. He continues to grunt and moan and say my name. His fist moving faster and faster. I can’t look away. The sight of his hand gripping his penis, sends even more heat pooling between my legs. My breasts begin to feel heavy and my breathing is slightly labored. Even though, I know it isn’t right, I can’t make myself look away. I watch as his hands start to move even faster. Before I know what is happening, some liquid is coming out in spurts and he growls my name. Eyes still closed and his head now leaning on his arm. I can’t look away. I watch as his penis, cock, I don’t know what to call it, starts to shrink little by little.
I am a little shocked. I don’t know why I don’t just back away and walk off. I don’t know why I am just standing here looking at his… thing… I don’t know. I can’t look away. I can’t walk away. Something is keeping me here.
Why would Ryder need to come out here and do this? Was I the reason he had to? Was my grinding on him what did this? What made him need to pleasure himself?
I don’t know the answer and the more I stand her, the more I feel heat start to creep into my cheeks.
But once he lets it go, I am able to look away. I realize that he could turn around at any moment and see me. I need to get out of here before he finds me. I can’t let him know I saw what he was doing. How embarrassing for both of us. For him because I saw him doing it. For me, because I would have to explain that I thought he was hurt and couldn’t help but stay and watch.
It’s just too embarrassing to even think about.
I take a step back and step on a twig. Which snaps under my weight. This causes Ryder to spin around, pants still down and look at me. He has this look of pure shock on his face.
More heat floods my cheeks and I have to look away. I turn to leave, because it’s the only thing I can think of to do right now, but he grabs my arm, stopping me from leaving. I look up at him and I can’t tell what the fire in his eyes means, or the frown on his face.
My thoughts are so jumbled, I can’t stop myself from speaking, “I…I thought… I thought…” I stammer. “I thought… I thought you were… hurt.”
I turn away from him and jerk my arm from his grip. Moving as fast as I can through the underbrush, make my way to the water. I need to do the task I initially was going to do. I get to the well and start to fill the pot. One scoop of water at a time.
We are forced to use a ladle on a long stick, to get the water out. No bucket or anything like that. Getting water takes a long time because our pot is big, but the ladle is small.
I am so engrossed in my task, that I don’t hear Ryder come up next to me. I don’t notice that he accidentally knocks the pot of water, sloshing the water over the side. I don’t notice how close he is, because when I turn to grab the cover for the well, I run right into his chest. I stumble backward and before I can fall onto the ground, I feel his hands catching me by my shoulders. He hauls me back to my feet and grabs my chin.
I try to look away from him. How embarrassing is it going to be if I do look at him? I won’t be able to get that thought out of my head. The one where he is standing there masturbating, growling my name. Coming in front of me, not knowing I was watching. I won’t be able to get the thought out of my head if I look into his eyes.
But he isn’t having that. He uses my chin to force me to meet his eyes. But he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me, his eyes are clouded with some sort of emotion, but I am not sure. His eyes dart between my mouth and my eyes. Before I know what is happening, his lips are crashing into mine and my hands, of their own accord, fist into the front of his shirt. I hold onto him as if I will fall if I don’t.
His kiss is demanding. He controls the pressure, the pace, everything about the kiss. He doesn’t let me take control. His tongue darts into my mouth and starts a secret dance with my tongue. I can’t stop kissing him. He tastes of water, and dandelion leaves.
He finally pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. “Did it turn you on to watch me jerk it?”
Did it turn me on? I guess you could say that. My heartrate picks up. My thighs clench at the emptiness I feel between my legs. My head feels a bit fogy. I can’t think straight. I can’t form a complete thought. Did it turn me on to know that he masturbated? I don’t know. I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know because I don’t really get turned on all that much. Guys don’t usually want me.
“Did you?” He asks again.
“I… I don’t know.” I tell him softly.
“What do you mean?” He asks. “Haven’t you ever watched a man do that before?”
I shake my head. No, I haven’t. I have only been with one guy before and that was a long while ago
“Well, sweetheart, I can see the desire burning in your eyes. I can feel your hands rubbing my chest.” He says, drawing my attention to what my hands are doing. “You are flushed, and that is damn hot.” He kisses my lips again. “I can see the pulse in your neck is racing. I would say, yes it did turn you on.”
His lips crash to mine again and I don’t know what to think. I can’t move. I can’t tell myself not to let this happen. I don’t know him. I have only known him a week. One week, and I have watched him come. He is kissing me in the woods, where cameras and production crew can find us at any time.
He pulls back from me, “We need to refill the pot and get back. I am sure production is looking for us.”
He turns his attention to the well and refilling the pot. I am standing there dumbstruck. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what to think. I don’t move. Not until he grabs my hand and walks with me back to camp.
Once at camp, I see our production assistant, the one assigned to us, standing there with a knowing smile on her face. “Looks like we need to do your confessionals. Who wants to go first?”
NINE
Ryder
“Nothing happened. We were just getting water. That’s it. That’s all it was.”
Ari Harper
Day seven interview
“Where did you and Ari take off to?” Lacey asks me as we sit down on our respective tree stumps.
“We went for water.” I lie.
Production doesn’t need to know what really happened. They don’t need to try and spin our relationship in any different way. So, what if Ari found me jerking it in the trees. So, what if I kissed her senseless. So, what if I don’t want to share that with production. I don’t want them to use this to spin their romance drama on this show.
It’s what they did last season. Two people fell in love on the show and suddenly the entire season was about their relationship and not much about the game. Though they did show the game it was mostly this couple and their love for each other.
So, you can see why I don’t want to have that happen with Ari and me. I don’t want to embarrass her like that.
I should be the one embarrassed. I mean, I was found in a rather personal and private position. I should be the one who is blushing every time I think about the situation. I should be the one nervous. But oddly I am not. I don’t really care that she found me like that. I don’t really care that she watched. I don’t really care.
Last night, while holding Ari, I felt content. I felt as if this game doesn’t really matter. I felt like I was in heaven. Like I belonged there holding her while she slept. For the first time in an awfully long time, I felt like I was doing someth
ing nice. I felt like I was doing something that wasn’t to benefit me. That right there, made holding her so much more worth it.
“Tell me about Ari. Any romantic thoughts?” Lacey asks me, pulling me from my thoughts.
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Well, the last three seasons have ended with romance blooming between two of the players. I was wondering if that could be you and Ari.”
“I don’t think that is any of your business.”
Her eyes grow huge. “I will take that as a maybe. Tell me, what was it like seeing your sister up for elimination last night?”
I sigh, finally something that isn’t related to Ari.
“Well, that was hard. We are twins, we came here to play together. But both of us knew that there could only be one winner. I mean, I know that if one of us win, the other wont, but it is still hard, to see that she was up for elimination on the second elimination night. It was hard knowing that her fate was up to rocks and that I could not do anything to ensure her safety.”
“I can see how that would be hard.” Lacey smiles. “So, what is your strategy?”
“Right now? Nothing. But come the merge, I want to make as many friends as possible. Use people if I have to. Do whatever I can to get to the final two. Whatever I can to get that million dollars.”
“Even betray Ari, Your sister?”
That makes me stop. I hadn’t thought about it that way. Would I be willing to hurt Ari? Or Rachel? But Rachel? I don’t know about that. I don’t know if I could betray Rachel like that. Ari? No, I don’t think I could betray her.
Why couldn’t I betray Ari? The thought stumps me. I am here to win the money like everyone else. But thinking of taking the win away from Ari, that stops me. What is it about Ari that has me thinking, that if it was between me and Ari, I would gladly give up the win for her? What is it about her that has me not thinking straight?
“I don’t know. But I am not telling you. I don’t know if you are working with another team. I don’t want to tell you all my secrets.” I tell her.
I give her one of the smiles that always works with my mother. She blushes and looks down at her notes. I notice the camera man chuckling and shaking his head. He probably knows what I am doing, but I don’t care. I don’t want to talk more about game play. Because just thinking about betraying Ari. The thought of me winning over her, that bothers me.
***
Day Eight
After our interviews yesterday, camp was quiet. I don’t know why, but it was. Ari really didn’t talk, and I didn’t try to start a conversation. I didn’t know how. I mean, how do you start a conversation about someone seeing you in the position I was in? How do I start a conversation about kissing her? I couldn’t think of a way to start a conversation.
But of course, today is just as bad. Ari tried her damnedest not to cuddle me last night. She tried her best to stay away from me. But in her sleep, she kept finding me. Like I am a magnet, and she is drawn to me, even if while awake she didn’t want to be near me.
But this morning, she was smiley and happy for some reason. Something that made me feel self-conscious. She still didn’t talk to me, but she was busy doing what she always does in the morning. Boiling water, cooking either rice or beans. Today it was beans. She even gathered more firewood.
She did all of that before it was time for me to head off to my interview with Lacey.
***
I returned back from my interview an hour ago. Shortly after that, they took Ari back for her daily interview. She has been gone ever since. I am beginning to wonder what she is telling Lacey, because my interview didn’t take an hour. My interview took barely twenty minutes.
But my thoughts are stopped when I see her come back. She looks exhausted. She looks worn out. Worse than she did this morning. She looked like she had been put through the ringer. Almost worse than she had after she found me in the trees yesterday.
She comes forward and sits beside me at the fire. She doesn’t say anything, just sits there and looks at the fire, while I am trying to boil more water.
“You alright?” I ask her.
She just nods, “That was more grueling than yesterdays.”
I chuckle, “She ask about a romance between us?”
“Yes, then she kept asking where we were yesterday, because they were looking for us and hadn’t seen us anywhere. She kept saying that she could see us as a couple.” She sighed. “She just wouldn’t let up. I thought for sure that I was just going to have to tell her, but them she had run out of time for the interview and I was spared the humiliation of the lengthy interview.”
I can’t help but smile. I hug her to me and press my lips to her hair. I relish in the fact that she is letting me hold her. I close my eyes and breathe her in. Even though she smells like she hasn’t showered, I don’t care. I just continue to breathe her in.
“While you were gone, we got mail.” I tell her. “I already read it.”
“What do you think the challenge is?” she asks softly.
“Capture the flag.” I say. “They didn’t even try to make it a puzzle, just said today is capture the flag. First team to two points gets something special.”
“Only one team gets the reward?”
“Sounds like it from the clue. But I don’t know.”
She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move, but I just hold her. I don’t mind, I like how she feels in my arms, against my chest.
“Time to go.” Lacey calls from a distance.
Sometimes I wish Lacey didn’t exist. Sometimes I wish that Lacey would just let us be. Most times I wish we weren’t on this show. Why? Because then Ari and I could do whatever we wanted. Because then I wouldn’t have to feel bad knowing that Ari is so exhausted. She isn’t sleeping all that well and I don’t know what I can do for her. I have tried everything I can think of to help her and none of it is working. Add to that Lacey and her constantly telling us it's time to go to the next challenge, it’s making it hard.
Would she give it to me anyways? Would she tell me what is bothering her? I want to try and fix it. I really do. I grab a hold of her hand and walk beside her from our camp back toward the challenge clearing. I don’t let go, even when she tries to take her hand back. I just don’t let go. She looks up at me and frowns. I know she doesn’t want me to hold her hand.
We are about to enter the clearing and I stop. I pull her into my chest and kiss her full on the lips. I don’t use tongue or anything, but I show her that I am here, that I want her, that nothing she is feeling is all her own. We are a team, even if it’s just for the show.
When I pull back, I see a smile spread across her face.
“Thanks.” She whispers to me as we make our way into the challenge area and take our mat.
For the first time in the last week, we are the last team to arrive. I find myself wondering had that kiss taken longer than I thought, or was it because I was too busy holding her at camp, that I missed our cue to leave? Whatever it was I don’t care. Because Chris is already here to get things started. I didn’t pay attention to the set-up of the challenge as we walked in, so I don’t know what it looks like. Something else I would have done differently if I would not have been distracted.
“Welcome to today’s challenge.” Chris calls out. “Today, we are playing capture the flag. There will be two teams playing at a time. Repeating until one of the teams is at two points. The first team to three points, wins the reward.”
Everyone claps and cheers. I feel stupid cheering for no reason, but I do it because I want the money, and to be here a bit longer for Ari.
“You are playing for your comfort items from home. If you win today, you and your partner will take your comfort items from home back to camp. If you lose, you will not get anything.” Chris says. “We are doing this one person at a time. Man, against man, woman against woman. Until someone gets to two. The order has already been preassigned. Let’s get started.”
We all follow him around to
the back of the clearing, where there are five colored mats. One for each team to stand on, like usual. I take my first look at the arena. It is nothing but a rectangle of dry dirt with two posts at each end. Each holding a flag. On one end there is a white flag, on the other there is a black flag. Nothing else. Just ropes around the area, that are held up by posts. The ground looks hard, and I can imagine injuries will be happening.
“The first round is men. Zach and William, you are up first.” Chris calls.
I watch as both men make their way onto the arena. Zach goes to the farthest flag, the white one, while William gets to stay close and is near the black one.
“On my go, you will race across the arena and try to get the others flag. But don’t make it too easy on them. Try and stop them. But do not let them get your flag.” Chris calls. “Ready… Go!”
William charges across the field at full speed. I inwardly cringe because I can see that Zach didn’t move. He didn’t try to get to William’s flag. He is standing guard on his flag. When William gets close, Zach trips him and takes off running. Zach is fast, but William is a tad faster. He tackles Zach to the ground, and they start rolling around. Both of them trying to crawl away. I can hear their partners calling for them to do something else. I don’t pay attention to them.
I take my eyes off the challenge to look down at Ari. Her eyes are huge, and she looks like she is shaking. Without thinking, I pull her into my side and hold her. She is shaking. I can feel it. She is scared. I can tell this challenge isn’t something she really wants to do, but sadly our turn is next, she will be up. Since Chris is alternating men and women rounds. I wish I could take her place. I wish I could get her out of fighting, but I can’t.
Also, without thinking, I curl my finger under her chin and lift it up to me. I lower my head down and kiss her, right there for everyone to see. For her brother, my sister, the cameras, Chris, the other teams. I don’t care who sees, I just can’t help myself.
When I pull back my head, I hear Chris call out. “Red wins round one! William was distracted and Zach got away and got the flag. Red, you move onto the second heat.”
Playing For Keeps (Romancing The Games Book 1) Page 6