Going back to camp after the challenge was awkward. No one knew what to say to me. I mean, what could they say? Nothing because each of them had a hand in her elimination. I don’t get how Caleb could have gone against Ari like that. As her brother, I would have thought that she was the one person he wanted to take to the end with him.
I just don’t get it. I mean I asked Rachel if the vote was still William. She told me yes. Meaning she knew that she lied to me. Meaning she knew that I would tell Ari not to use the idol. Do I feel stupid? Thinking about it now, yes, I feel fucking stupid. How could I not? I mean, because of me Ari isn’t in the game with me. Because of me, she didn’t play her idol. Because of me, everyone else is out looking for the idol. Because they know that the next elimination challenge would be the last to use it.
But the thing is, I don’t think it’s out there. There hasn’t been a clue to its whereabouts. Maybe the producers decided not to put it in play again. It would make sense because there are only five of us. Whoever found it would have to play it at the next elimination challenge. So why put it back in play. Why hide it, for it to possibly not be found.
I can’t wait for the reward challenge later. I want to whip their asses, and prove to them that this anger, this hurt, everything I am feeling is going to push me harder. It’s going to push me to make me faster. To make me win because I want Ari to know that I am playing for her. Even if she doesn’t know it right now, I am playing for her. To avenge her. Because I love her.
The signal comes for us to leave, and I grab my bag. The thought of carrying just my bag, makes me even more angry.
I used to carry Ari’s bag to and from challenges. I wouldn’t let her carry it. It was hard enough for me to let her carry her own canteen, but that was for practical reasons. I feel weird just carrying one bag. I feel empty. Knowing that Ari isn’t walking in front of me, knowing that she won’t be standing beside me, it kills me. But I hope the reward today is worth it because I will win it just for her.
****
Walking into the challenge area, I take a look around. There are five wooden structures. Structures shaped like rectangles. Each with varying heights. Each is painted a different color. I wonder what we could be doing. We line up and wait for Chris. I stand there, refusing to look down the line at my competitors. I want to sweat them a little. I want to make them feel the heat of my wrath. I want to make them realize what they did to me.
To me, an alliance is a promise to have the back of everyone in said alliance. It’s a promise to keep the group together. It’s a promise for everyone to keep. But my sister and Caleb, broke that promise. I am one person who cannot and will not break my promises. I will keep my word at all costs. I was willing to keep my word to the two of them, but when they broke theirs, that opened the gates. I will make their lives a living hell. I will get Zach and William to flip on both of them and they will be out next. Just wait and see.
“Welcome to today’s reward challenge.” Chris says as he walks in. “Today’s reward is a super special one.” He smiles. “For today’s challenge, you will be standing on those platforms behind you, on your tip toes, holding a piece of wood between your head and the top of the form.”
I frown, who the hell comes up with these challenges. This is not one I saw last season. This sounds like a child made it up. I won’t say that it sounds easy, because I know for a fact, they wouldn’t put it on the show if it was easy. Not after the who is most likely to challenge, that turned into Ari’s undoing.
I shake my head. I can’t think about her right now. I want to stay focused on the challenge. I need to stay focused so that I can win.
“The reward you are playing for, will be worth the pain you are sure to endure.” Chris begins. “Today, you are playing for the chance to visit with your family.”
I can feel my mouth drop open. A member from our families are here? I wonder who came for me? I wonder if the same person came for Rachel, or not. I wonder who came for Caleb. I wonder how they would react knowing that he eliminated his sister. But the wondering has to stop. It’s time for the challenge. I want to win this challenge. I want to win to show the four people that took Ari from me, that I will not let her absence ruin me.
“We randomly assigned your places, let’s get started.” Chris announces.
We are led to a form. One, that was not randomly assigned, but made to our specific dimensions. Because I am taller than everyone else, mine is set up differently. I am told to get up on the form and handed my board. I hold onto it until we get the signal to put it on our heads and start the challenge.
When the challenge begins, I can already tell today is going to suck. The position I am in, instantly makes my calf muscles feel tight. Very tight. But I don’t focus on the pain, I focus on staying still. I don’t want to move too much and drop my board. I don’t want to lose this challenge, and the key to that is to stay very still.
After what feels like forever, Chris comes walking by with a plate of pizza and two bottles of beer.
“This wouldn’t be a true challenge without incentives. What is more important to you, seeing a family member for the first time in twenty-three days or food?” He says, pacing up and down the line. “This is a medium pepperoni, ham, mushroom, black olives, green and red pepper, and onion pizza. The best part is its stuffed crust.” He smiles as he holds it up under my nose.
“If you step down and take the food, you can eat it until the challenge is over. If you choose not to step down, then the pizza will go away until the next incentive comes around, and it won’t be pizza.” Chris says. “Who wants to step down?”
If anyone would step down it would either be William or Caleb. At least that is who I think will step down. William, because he hasn’t won a single food challenge, and only had real food at the merge eight days ago. Caleb, because he thinks he doesn’t have to worry about anything. But stepping down would put the target on his back from me.
“I’ll do it.” I hear William call out.
Of course, I knew William would step down. Pizza and beer, after not having real food for nine days. I don’t blame him. I probably would have done the same thing if I hadn’t just gone on a reward with Ari a few days ago.
“William is out of the challenge. That leaves four. Who will win the visit with their family?” Chris asks.
I know he isn’t asking us. I know he is asking the audience who will be watching this when it airs. It is weird knowing that this is going to be on tv. But that makes me even more determined to win, because I want Ari to see I did try and avenge her. Even if I fail, I want her to know I tried my damnedest.
After a while more, I smell a burger and onion rings. I close my eyes because I don’t want to look at the food. No temptation here. Nothing will get me to drop, short of the challenge win. I won’t drop for food. I want to win. I need to win.
I ignore Chris as he talks about the food. I ignore him as he puts the burger under my nose for me to smell. I hold my breath. I don’t need that smell in my nose. I don’t want to think about food right now. I just focus on staying still, I focus on picturing me seeing a family member. I picture me telling them about Ari. I picture what it will be like to hug whoever came to see me. I take a deep breath and brace myself for a long wait.
“I’m out.” I hear Zach say.
I hadn’t expected Zach to drop out for food. But I hadn’t expected them to actually flip and vote out Ari. That goes to show that I didn’t pay good enough attention. I should have gone with my gut that night. I should have known that her elimination was inevitable. I should have told her to use her idol. I should never have told her not to use it.
Damnit, I need to stop thinking about Ari right now. I need to stop thinking about what I could have done differently and start thinking about the here and now. I need to decide on what I need to do to get to the end. I need to plan to eliminate my own sister and Caleb. They don’t deserve to go to the end. They don’t deserve to sit beside me in the end. I sure as hell
hope that when they are on the jury, they realize what they did to me and vote for me to win.
“Rachel is moving around a lot. I sure hope she doesn’t drop her totem.” Chris calls.
Ah, yes, I smile to myself. Rachel is moving around. That is a good thing. One big move, one miscalculated move and her board drops. This is just what I needed. I can outlast Caleb, that I know. But knowing that Rachel is starting to get uncomfortable, is just thrilling to me.
“Rachel drops her totem, and she is out of the challenge.” Chris calls. “She didn’t even get to get any food.”
Hearing this makes me smile. I don’t know why, I mean Rachel is my sister after all, and this is just a game. But knowing that she is out does make me happy. I know, deep down, that I will eventually hate that I was happy at her misfortune, but I don’t care. She played a part in getting Ari taken out, and I have to avenge that. I have to make her pay for that.
I gently shake my head I need to stay focused. I can’t think about what Rachel did. I can’t think about Ari. I just need to focus on not dropping my piece of wood. I have to focus on staying in this until I win this challenge.
It’s just Caleb and I now. I don’t move, not at all. Not when the pain in my calves starts ramping up. Not when my toes go numb. Not when my head starts to hurt. Not when my feet start to feel like they will fall off. I hold stock still, because one wrong move and I am out of this challenge. I keep my eyes closed and take deep breaths. I remain as calm as I can. Hoping that Caleb will fall out of this challenge. Hoping that I win.
“It is now between Caleb and Ryder. Caleb is moving around a bit, where Ryder has remained still this whole time. It’s amazing. I am sure that both of these men are in pain.” Chris says. “Their toes must hurt, and their calves must be on fire. One thing is for sure, that these men are not comfortable.”
I tune him out. I don’t want to hear him talk to the camera. I don’t want to hear him talk about how I am feeling. Because, well, I am feeling it.
I just need to last a little longer. No movement, no movement. No movement.
“Caleb tries to get into a more comfortable position and falls out of this challenge.” Chris calls. “Ryder wins reward.”
I lower myself slowly from my form. My feet hitting the ground, start to scream in pain. I lean on my form for a few moments before I limp back to the front of the clearing. I am motioned to join Chris next to his podium.
“As today’s challenge was a special one. This challenge is sharable. Who would you like to share it with?” He asks me.
I see Rachel smiling because she thinks I am going to choose her. She thinks that because we are siblings that I will choose her. How wrong she was.
“Do I have to share it?” I ask Chris.
“You don’t want to share the reward?” Chris asks as if he can’t believe what I just asked him.
“Well I don’t know.” I lie.
I know that I don’t want to share the reward. I know that I don’t want to share it with Caleb or Rachel. But if I do have to share it, I want to share it with Zach or William. This way I can work on him to flip against Rachel or Caleb.
“You know what. I do want to share.” I tell Chris. “I want to share my reward with Zach.”
I hear a gasp from the group in front of me. I can see Rachel glaring at me. I just smile and arch a brow at her. She honestly thought I would choose her for this reward. Do I have the word stupid printed on my forehead? That’s debatable right about now, but no I am not going to take her on a reward after what she did to me.
“Zach, come join Ryder and you will be taken to see your family members shortly.” Chris says. “Everyone else may go back to camp. I will see you tomorrow for the elimination challenge.”
TWENTY-FIVE
Ari
“I didn’t choose Rachel because she doesn’t deserve a handout. I sure as hell wasn’t about to reward her for backstabbing me. Now she knows she pissed me off.”
Ryder Holt
Day twenty-four interview
Day Twenty-Four
Being in the jury villa for two days has been nice. But its lonely. I miss Ryder. I miss the thrill of knowing a challenge is coming up. I miss knowing that I will get to compete. I miss sleeping in Ryders arms. I miss him kissing me before each challenge. I miss holding his hand as we walk to and from challenges. I miss everything about him.
But being in the jury villa has its perks too. Like food when I want it, a nice bed to sleep in each night, a hot shower when I want one, a pool.
I talk to everyone. Ever since I came here, they have all be so nice. Talking me through what they thought would happen, and how shocked they were to know that both Rachel and Caleb voted for me. How shocked they were to find out that I had in fact been eliminated with the idol in my bag.
Just talking to them helps me not feel as lonely. It’s like having friends who are willing to make me feel better. Though, at this point I don’t need it anymore. Together we always have something to talk about. We have talked about my kindergarten students from last year. We talked about the time they water balloon bombed me. We have talked about why I chose to teach kindergarten. We have talked about why everyone chose their professions. It’s nice to sit down and have a conversation that isn’t game related. But those do happen as well.
On challenge days, we are lined up in the living area of the villa and are told to watch the challenge unfold. The reward challenge yesterday was shocking. It looked so easy, yet I knew that it wasn’t. Caleb lasted pretty far in the challenge, but if he hadn’t moved around as much as he had, he could have won the challenge. Though, don’t get me wrong, seeing Ryder win was amazing. Seeing him choose Zach to share is reward, that was jaw dropping. I had expected him to choose Rachel because it was a loved one’s visit. But he chose Zach.
It shocks me that he would choose Zach over Rachel. It shocks me because I totally would have chosen Caleb if I had won. But after talking to the others, we all have concluded, that Ryder is probably upset about my elimination. They told me over and over that he was upset when I was taken out of the game. They told me over and over again that they believe that he didn’t want me taken out. Which I believe now, as well. But I just don’t understand why he didn’t choose Rachel. Unless he thinks that she was behind my elimination. Even I don’t know who to blame for that.
I know that Rachel and Caleb did flip, but I don’t know who decided that it was me they should target. I know that Rachel and Caleb knew that I had the idol. Did they tell Zach and William about it? Did they plan to blindside me so that I wouldn’t use it? I mean if so, I fell into their plan.
Though, I have to say, I am not holding anything against anyone. At least, not anymore. At first, I was angry and hurt. At first, I hated their guts, but now that I have had time to think it through and talk it through, I know that this is just a game. Only one person can win and that means that people would lose their shots at the money. I just happened to be one of them.
I think it’s safe to say, that I am fine with not being in the running. Even though I miss Ryder like crazy.
****
We are led, in a single file line, in the order we were eliminated, into the elimination challenge area. Of course, the challenge is over, and we don’t know who won, but we are here to witness the elimination. I walk in and scan the group. Ryder is standing at the end looking at me. Just me. Nowhere else. Just looking at me.
Of course, my body heats under his gaze. But I don’t look away from him either. I can’t look away from him. It feels so good to see him. It’s good to see that he is doing alright. But I am nervous. What if he is next? What if he is eliminated next? What if his game is over? I don’t know how I will react.
I have my fingers crossed behind my back in hopes that it isn’t Ryder. I hope that he either won the challenge or gets no votes, but I don’t know.
“Let’s get to the vote.” Chris informs them. “Cast your vote and turn it in.”
I watch as the five
of them write on their plaques. I watch as one by one they turn in their votes. With each plaque turned in, I can feel my stomach dropping further and further. Is it Ryder? I hope it isn’t. I want him to stay in this game. I want him to remain in the game for a long time. I want to see him in the end.
“Before I reveal the votes. Does anyone have the idol?” Chris asks.
I smile when I see Ryder reach into his bag and pull out the idol, the very one I gifted to him after I was eliminated. He hands it to Chris and turns and smiles at everyone behind him. I see Caleb’s jaw drop open. I can see Rachel frowning. They didn’t know he had the idol. Good. That’s how I wanted it.
“This is the idol. Any votes for Ryder will not count.” Chris says. “Let’s begin.” He reached in and pulls out the first vote. “Ryder, doesn’t count… Ryder, doesn’t count.”
I sigh in relief because the idol saved him. Ryder has votes. There is no doubt in my mind that it is Ryder that has the most votes. I look over when I feel someone grab my hand. I look up and see that its, Brad. He is sitting next to me and holding my hand. He must know I am nervous.
“Ryder, doesn’t count.” Chris reads the third vote. “Rachel. One vote for Rachel, one vote left.” Chris, ever so slowly, pulls out the last vote. “Ryder doesn’t count. The eighth member of our jury is Rachel. You may leave the challenge area.”
I watch as Rachel grabs her bag and walks out of the clearing. She has a look of shock on her face. I know I have one on my face. Four votes for Ryder, I saved him. That means that Ryder voted for his sister. I think that is what shocks me the most. He voted for his sister. He eliminated her. I can’t believe it.
I look at him just before Chris dismisses them, he is smiling at me.
“I love you.” He mouths to me.
I smile and mouth, “I love you too.”
I blow him a kiss and I walk off. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Both Caleb and Ryder are in the final four. They are getting so close to the end. I just hope they can band together and stick together to the end.
Playing For Keeps (Romancing The Games Book 1) Page 16