by Tara Brent
I walk out of the bathroom as if I'm in a haze. A silly, stupid, smile on my face from what had happened in the shower.
To be that brave just about killed me, Logan looked at me as if I was the best thing he'd ever seen in his life.
“You can leave the cooler here. We're going to come back from across the street.” Logan laughs as I open the fridge door.
I just don't want to forget anything and I don't want the slightest thing to go wrong, at least not my first time spending the day with Dustin.
"Everything's going to be fine," Logan assures me, raising his eyebrows heading for the front door and unlocking it.
I know that Grace will take a look at the two of us and put it together before she even lets us in the house. I feel myself already starting to blush over this morning, then, going back to visions of last night. I feel the heat not from the Texas sun as we open the door but from the intimate details that I have in the back of my mind.
As soon as I lock the house up Logan takes my hand as if to tell everyone that we are together without coming out and saying it.
He doesn't realize that even a stranger would know that we are together just by the way I look at him.
I know that he's staring at me, waiting for me to look at him. I see it from the corner of my eye.
The sun beating down is making my hair dry quickly.
Logan keeps his hand in mine as he knocks on Grace's door.
We hear Grace humming as she comes to the door. She is in a good mood just like she always is when she answers the door.
She looks down at our hands and then sees the spark in my eyes. I can feel myself blush, as I smile happily to her enquiring look.
Logan lets go of my hand, as soon as we get into the house.
“I told you, hmm?” Grace looks at Logan over her shoulder but he doesn't turn around.
"Hey, lil man!" He cries out, going to his son.
Logan tugs at my heart as he lifts Dustin out of his chair and gives him a big squeeze. I almost laugh; it's almost as if he hasn't seen Dustin in months.
Grace walks back into the kitchen and I follow after her.
"I will make us tea. Sit down, dear." Grace looks at me from over her shoulder.
I already know there are questions that will come later when it's just the two of us. I bite back a laugh as I sit down beside Dustin's chair and Logan puts him back down.
Dustin is staring at me, curious about me. I can see that he's excited to meet someone new.
“This is my friend Amber.” Logan introduces us.
Simple terms. I like that.
“Hi!” He shouts, throwing his arms around my neck, practically choking me.
“Hi.” I laugh at him, all the anxiety and nervousness going away from that one hug that he's given me.
"Why don't you go collect some toys for our adventure today," Logan suggests and like a bullet, Dustin is out of the kitchen and heading upstairs to his playroom that Grace has set just aside for him.
“He's such an energetic child.” I laugh, hearing his footsteps up the stairs.
"He is, for the most part, but he's fairly easy to tame." Logan jokes as Grace places my tea in front of me.
The room is quiet, Grace looking over us both as she sits down across from us. Before lifting her cup of tea she smiles and nods her head.
I see the approval. It's always been there. She's always wanted the two of us together and now it was finally happening for her, just as much as it was for us.
“Don't say anything. You'll ruin the moment.” Logan sighs, shaking his head at her.
“Why would I say anything? You don't even know what I'm thinking.” Grace tears her eyes away from mine and looks at him.
“I know what you're always thinking. You and your hints.” He laughs and we laugh with him. It feels so good to laugh like we used to.
Having Logan back meant everything to me and it's perfect.
Chapter 18: Logan
I know my grandma like the back of my hand. I give her a smirk as the two finish their tea. I hear Dusty coming down the stairs and he drops a few things. Cars and trucks. I can hear them hit the hardwood floor and roll down the stairs.
"I didn't say you had to bring everything," I call out to him.
We hear him laugh and come in with an armful of cars. He puts them on the table and then gets ready to rush back out.
“Where are you going?” I ask him easily grabbing his elbow.
“Pick'n up the cars that fell.” Dustin wriggles out of my grasp and hurries to pick up the ones that had fallen.
“Should I make arrangements for dinner here tonight?” Grandma asks.
“I think that would be great. We should have a family dinner, like a little reunion.” Nodding my head in agreement.
“My favorite chicken dish?” Amber asks before anyone can suggest dinner.
“You got it.” Grandma winks at her.
The chicken dish that Grandma has always made, but she won't tell us how she makes it. She won’t reveal the sauces she uses or the ingredients, but it's good and it makes my own mouth water when I think about dinner tonight.
"Now you three get out of here and I'll see you tonight." Grandma shoos us off with the back of her hands, letting her fingers dangle as I gather up Dustin and we head out into the Texas heat.
I don't know why Amber doesn't complain, but then again she's always lived here.
Amber hurries back into her house while I put Dustin in his car seat with all his toys. Making sure I don't miss any one of them.
I laugh when she comes out with the cooler hanging over her shoulder and a six pack of water that she's holding in her other hand.
“What? It's hot out here.” Amber smiles at me as I open her door so that she can get in with ease.
These are the moments that I love.
Getting into the driver's seat I look at Dustin through the rearview mirror and see that he's happy playing with one of his matchbox cars, running it up and down his bare leg. I look over at Amber who’s happily putting her seat belt on and my heart races when I think of us as a family. The three of us going on an adventure.
Pulling away from the curb I focus on the road and can't wait to get to the park. Usually, it's just Dustin and me. Today it will be better with Amber playing in the sandbox with us. Or swinging and going down the slide. Maybe take a nature walk through the trails.
My mind is racing with all sorts of things that the three of us can do together. Amber is looking out the window with a huge smile on her face, not a care in the world. I want her to feel like that always. It's a picture perfect moment.
As soon as I pull into a parking spot at the park Dustin's eyes light up.
“Want to go on the slide first?” I hear his joyful voice.
"We can do whatever you want first," I respond to him.
“Not you dad, Amber.” Dustin throws his head back and laughs.
That's how I know it's going to be a great day. He's already accepted her as I knew he would.
“That would be great; the slides are always my favorite when I come to the park.” Amber has a grin from ear to ear.
"I told you, everything is going to be fine. When are you going to listen to me?" I asked, shutting off the car.
Before I get a chance to go over to Dustin's side of the car Amber's already there taking him out of his car seat, making sure that he has his toys and his hand tightly in hers. So tightly that I'm afraid that Dustin will complain only he doesn't.
Without even realizing it Amber is showing me that I can trust her with my son. Holding on for dear life. But I'm not sure if she's holding onto the memory or if she's holding on in case I walk out again.
That will never happen. I know how much pain it caused her. How much it caused me to move away from here and away from her. It will never happen again.
Chapter 19: Amber
I've fallen in love with Dustin from the second he hugged me. Surprised that he wanted me to bring him down the slide, I was all
for it.
Logan grabs the cooler while we quickly make our way over to the slide, before anyone else has a chance to get there. However, there is no one else there but the three of us right now. Since it's still so early.
I let Dustin go down the slide first, he goes so fast, but as steep as the slide is, it surprises me that he's not the least bit hesitant of going down the slide.
“Come on Amber, come down.” Dustin coaxes me as he turns around seeing that I'm still at the top.
“Here I come!” I shout down to him and he quickly moves out of the way. His brown eyes are wild as he claps slowly, and then faster and faster as I shriek on my way down.
“You okay?” Dustin asks coming over to try and help me up.
“I'm good.” I laugh at him, running a hand through his brown hair.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that Logan is watching us. A smile on his face, he’s glad that we are getting along. And that we are becoming friends so quickly.
“How bout we go play in the sand?” Dustin asks, pointing to the sandbox that's on the other side of the park.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” I nod my head.
Logan joins us, putting the cooler under a tree in the shade.
The three of us sit down, getting all sandy is the least of our worries today. I feel a sense of freedom that only a child as innocent as Dustin can give me.
We ram cars, we bury them, we let Dustin pretend that his Tonka truck is a monster truck and smash our cars, running over them and doing make believe jumps.
I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life. I love how his brown eyes just shine when he's having fun, how his eyebrows furrow, when he notices that a car isn't completely covered in sand.
More and more kids show up with their parents but Dustin doesn't pay them any attention, content and focused on what he's doing and not on everyone else.
“How about we have something to eat?” Logan asks, rubbing his stomach.
"Good idea," Dustin answers, digging his trucks and cars out of the small sand pile he's made for them.
The three of us walk to the tree and sit down on the grass. A slight breeze comes our way and it's a cool breeze. On a hot day like today, I will take it.
“My favorite!” Dustin rub's his stomach when he sees that I'm pulling out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
“Told you.” Logan sighs, shaking his head but there's a smile that appears on his face slowly.
I laugh at him and shake my head. How can he not be right? He knows his son like the back of his hand.
We finish our sandwiches and take the bottles of water that are still nice and cold. Dustin drinks almost all of his down before he goes racing for the swings. The only swing left before someone else can take it. Leaving the two of us behind.
“He's a happy child.” I watch as Dustin gets on the swing and struggles to pump his legs.
“I try my best.” Logan nods; I can feel him watching me.
“Today's a good day for all of this. I bet he's going to sleep like a baby when it's time for bed. All the running around he's doing.” I point out.
“One can only hope.” Logan laughs at me.
I don't know much about children. Dustin is pretty easy to please, but he has a lot of energy inside of him.
"You must be just as tired as he is when the day is over with," I comment.
“Not me, maybe the daycare is. On the weekends, yeah, when he's ready for bed I'm usually ready for bed.” Logan grins.
I hope to have more days like these, but I don't tell him that. I'm sure he already knows what I'm thinking anyway. I'm easy to read, even if I try to keep quiet. When I'm lost in thought the emotions are plastered on my face.
It isn't until the sun starts setting that we start to pack things up.
“I don't want to go.” Dustin glares around the park, his arms folded against his chest.
“Uh-oh.” I let out under my breath.
“Yeah, it's not always fun and games. Not when it's time to leave.” Logan chuckles, he seems to have it under control.
“Grandma is waiting for us at her house. We're going to have dinner with her.” Logan states, gathering up the toys and putting them in the empty cooler.
"I don't want to go," Dustin whines at him but doesn't put up as much of a fight as he did the first time.
Logan walks off towards the car and Dustin just stands there for a second. Wondering if his father is really going to get inside.
The second Logan opens the car door Dustin goes running to him with a smile on his face. I laugh at the two of them.
Logan so serious and Dustin caring more about his father than he does the park. He gets into the backseat so that Logan can buckle him safely inside.
I take my time going to the car, thinking back on the day and how wonderful it has been. I sigh as I get inside.
“Everything all right?” Logan asks.
It's a heavy sigh so I can see why he asks.
“Yes, I like to think back on the day when it's done.” I nod, not looking at him though as I strap myself into the passenger side seat.
The trip back to Grace's house is a quiet one. Which I'm thankful for. Dustin is looking out the window in case something catches his eye that he's never seen before and Logan is focused on the road while I focus on every detail of the day that brings a tired smile to my face.
Chapter 20: Logan
Pulling up in front of grandma's house there was another car there. I didn't know that she has another dinner guest. This makes me uneasy and I don't have the slightest reason to feel uneasy.
It's almost like Amber can sense it though, her back is rigid. She's tense; she's noticed the car as well but doesn't mention it out loud. I'm glad that she doesn't.
The last thing I want is for Dustin to feel alarmed about anything. As far as we know there's nothing wrong.
Stepping out of the car I plaster a smile on my face, and then I get Dustin out and take his toys, as he rushes to grandma's door.
Amber gets out of the car slowly and watches as Grace opens the door for him, as if she's been watching out the window this whole time. There is a smile on her face, but not the kind that we are used to be being greeted with.
Amber doesn't flinch but I can see that she's noticing the way that Grandma is looking at us. An anxious look and I know something is not quite right.
"Hello, Grace." Amber gives her the best smile she can manage though I can see it is forced. We can all sense a tension in the air.
“Hello dear, how was the day?” Grace asked, giving her a welcoming hug. Hanging on a little tighter than usual.
Hearing a familiar voice in the kitchen I almost refuse to walk in. If it wasn't for Dustin I would have walked right back out of my grandma's house.
I gently push by Amber and Grandma. Not the slightest bit happy to hear the voice, as soon as I enter the kitchen.
Jessica is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of her. I know that grandma has only done this because she doesn't want to be rude. Which makes me wonder just how long Jessica has been here?
Grandma and Amber enter the kitchen and there's no escaping introductions.
"Jessica this is Amber, Amber this is Jessica," I say, letting it be known that I'm not happy about what's going on.
“Hello.” Jessica nods her head, barely giving Amber a second look.
Amber says nothing.
“I was hoping that we'd be able to go for a walk, you know to talk.” Jessica looks at me as if she hasn't done enough damage already.
"Fine," I grunt, shaking my head. I don't want to make a scene in front of Amber.
I turn and both women behind me can see that I'm pissed off. My face red, my eyes I'm sure look like hot coals.
"Grandma, can you watch Dustin?" I put my hands on my hips.
Giving her a look that I don't really want to take him with us, nor do I really want to talk to her. I avoid looking at Amber.
"I think tha
t we can take him with us," Jessica suggests and there's a hint of a smile in her voice.
“You have no right to have an opinion at the moment.” I look over my shoulder at her.
I keep my voice down only because our son is right there. Gawking at the two of us, as if he hasn't heard enough. I wonder if he remembers any of it. If he doesn't I thank god.
“I will keep a close eye on him.” Grandma nods her head.
I reach over and give Amber a hug before I make my way outside. Jessica has some nerve coming here. How she found us I don't know. All this time away from us and now she wants to talk? Things aren't going to go the way she wants them to. That's already burning in my mind. I know what she wants to talk about.
Amber gives me a look but I pretend that I don't see it. It's a worried look and yet she has nothing to worry about. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice and I wish that she would show some confidence in that, but how can she when she never expected me to leave in the first place?
Jessica follows me out of the house, I don't know if I like this. The only reason she wants to talk is one or two reasons. She wants us to be a family again or she's here to get Dustin back and that's not going to happen either.
I'm the one who makes sure that he's okay, that he's well fed, that he has everything he needs. She's not going to just take him from underneath me.
I don't want to leave Grandma's house, it makes it just a little easier when I hear Amber before the door closes, offering to help Dustin with his toys and to color with him. To distract him I suppose and I am so grateful to her. I just hope she trusts me and knows that I will not be leaving her. Not now, not ever.
Chapter 21: Amber
Dustin and I color for a short time, Grace makes us tea and she can see that even that's not going to calm me down. I can feel myself trembling and I hope it's not visible to Dustin.
Of course, Grace can see how upset I am. I don't want to speak in front of Dustin. I don't want him hearing anything about the situation.
There was no doubt that Jessica is Dustin's mother. She's come back for them. I know this.