I didn’t want to be in the dark forever. I didn’t feel ready.
I clung tighter to the thread. It was pulsing, beating like a heart under my hands. It was the only light, at first, but the further I went, I began to see a glow above. Faint and golden, like the sun behind the clouds.
“You’re almost there, baby girl!”
Leon...it was Leon.
I was tired. The depths had been soft, and everything hurt worse here. I could look up now, and see the surface of the water, and the gray clouds, and the rain dimpling the surface.
Then I was splashing, trying frantically to surface, and my fingers brushed against dirt and I realized the water was shallow. It was the shoreline. My head bobbed up and I could see the trees.
Warm arms snatched me up, dragged me from the water and pounded my back until air was forced into my lungs. Oxygen rushed to my head, making it light, and I blacked out for a moment as my head kept swimming while the rest of me hit land. There was dirt, there was wonderful solid earth under my hands. I could smell the pines and the rain, citrus and smoke.
“Fucking breathe, Raelynn, fuck, please!”
Breathing hurt. Everything hurt. But if it hurt, that meant I was alive.
I was still alive, and Leon was holding me, cradling me like a baby with my head beneath his chin, murmuring in my ear, “I’m so sorry, baby girl, I’m so fucking sorry. Just breathe. Breathe for me. I’ve got you. You’re okay.”
I was too tired to keep my eyes open. I was weak with hunger, dehydrated, and my lungs were burning. But somehow, I’d never felt so happy.
I pressed my face against his chest, taking in his scent, warm as a summer bonfire, sharp and dark as the pines. “They tried to take me from you,” I muttered, only half-lucid, somewhere between a dream and that deep darkness I’d swam out of. “They tried, but...but I’m yours. I’m yours.”
“You’re mine, baby girl.” His arms were so tight, so strong, as if they hadn’t been broken and bleeding the last time I’d seen him. “You’re mine, and nothing is ever, ever going to take you from me again.”
I drifted in and out of consciousness. Leon had tugged his shirt onto me and held me close against him to keep me warm. I still didn’t fully feel real, as if my body wasn’t sure if it was flesh and blood or still drifting in that awful, screaming other place.
Thunder cracked through the soft sounds of rain and I jolted, my eyes flying open.
“Shh, you’re alright.” Leon’s fingers stroked over my arm, easing the fear out of me. We were walking through the trees, and I was cradled in his arms. I felt so heavy and achy, and my head was pounding.
Muffled, as if from a great distance, I could still hear a voice in my mind, screaming in fury. “Raelynn! Raelynn, you’re mine!”
I shuddered, pressing my face closer against his chest. I knew there were more scars across his skin now, scars still pink from having only just healed. I wanted to kiss them, to thank him somehow, but I was so scared that my head felt like a balloon that was about to pop.
“God is calling me,” I said. “Still calling me. Leon, it won’t stop.”
“It will stop,” he said. “It can’t take you, Rae. It can’t take a soul that’s been willingly given to another.”
I looked up at him, even though his face was blurred without my glasses. “I thought you were dead, Leon. I thought the Reaper killed you.” The thought made me choke up, the memory of him lying broken and bloody.
“I’m not going to leave you that easily, baby girl.” He smiled, and his fingers tightened around my arm. “There’s no getting rid of me now. You’re stuck with me.”
The God’s voice grew muffled as we walked, until it was only a faint murmur. Then it was gone completely, and thunder rumbled again as lightning lit up the skies.
Leon chuckled. “God is furious. Such a storm.”
“Will It give up?” The thunder was so loud it hurt my ears. “When will It stop?”
“You injured It,” Leon said. “It’s weakened. The witch, Everly, told me she intended to kill the God. With It injured, perhaps now is her chance.”
“Everly…is a witch?” I thought back to that soft-spoken girl, who’d looked at me as if she could see my very soul, who’d drawn cards to warn me of my fate. I remembered that she’d felt wild, even though she was so quiet. A feral being, forced to pretend she was domesticated.
I closed my eyes again. I was completely soaked, but Leon’s body heat kept me from shivering. “Do you think she can do it? Can she kill a God?”
“Her mother was one of the most powerful witches I’d ever met,” he said. “Her daughter carries that legacy. If anyone can kill a God, she can.”
I couldn’t imagine how a being so great, so incomprehensibly powerful, could be destroyed. Thinking about it made my head hurt, and I groaned softly into his chest. “I want to go home.”
“I know, baby girl. We will. But I’m going to make sure no one ever takes you from me again.”
I wanted to ask more questions, but tiredness won out. Exhaustion wouldn’t allow me to stay awake another second. I drifted off to sleep in the arms of a Killer, my Killer, as he carried me away to spill more blood in my name.
Nothing had ever felt so right, so complete, as holding Rae in my arms. Limp with exhaustion, twitching in her sleep, but back with me. Back where she belonged. Battered and scarred but alive.
I knew that nightmares would torment her for weeks, and that the memories of this would never fade. It would stay with her, always, like the cuts on her body that would become scars. I couldn’t forgive myself for it, for not fighting hard enough for her, for having just laid there, broken, when Jeremiah and his minions took her.
But I was going to set it right.
With Callum by her side, I believed that Everly would destroy the Deep One, even if it killed her too. I’ve felt it in her, that wild magic that once unleashed, could destroy empires, worlds, and even gods.
That was her story, her fate. Perhaps I’d never know if she made it out alive.
It didn’t truly matter to me. Only Raelynn mattered. Keeping her safe, making sure nothing ever took my baby girl from me again, mattered more than anything else.
I looked down at the cuts Jeremiah had carved across her chest and was filled with so much rage I couldn’t see straight. He’d marked my girl, and for that I was going to break his hands, crush his fingers one by one until every bone shattered. As I walked, I fantasized on every gruesome thing I’d do to him. His God was dying, and he was merely mortal. The strength God had rewarded him with was only temporary.
He was going to die, slowly and agonizingly, and I would enjoy every goddamn second.
I stayed deep in the trees as I walked, to ensure no one driving by on the road would get a glimpse of me. It would surely be a sight to behold: my jeans were torn, my chest was bare from having given my shirt to Raelynn to cover her, and the injuries the Reaper had left me with were only barely healed, still pink and angry. I was too furious to disguise myself, so my claws were out, my eyes were bright, my teeth sharp and ready to rip apart any member of the Libiri I managed to find.
I smelled the fire long before I saw it. The ashen scent of burning was strong in the air, the smoke carrying even through the rain. As I reached the tree line at the edge of the Hadleigh property, I could see the flames.
I hated to leave her for even a second, but I laid Rae down at the base of a tall pine, where she could lie hidden among the gnarled roots. She sighed softly as I laid her down, curling her arm around to cushion her head. The ache of looking at her was almost too much, the sweetest pain in my chest as I brushed her hair back from her face before turning to leave her.
Love. What an odd thing.
I crept beyond the trees. The grass sloped down, to where the Hadleigh’s house was entirely engulfed in flames. I could feel the heat of them, the scent of the smoke sharp in the air. The rain wasn’t enough to put the fire out, despite the downpour. All the glass had bur
st, the ground around the house shimmering with its shattered pieces.
This was no natural fire. I could smell the gas in the air. There was a crack, and a massive section of wall collapsed inward. The house would be reduced to nothing more than its concrete foundations soon enough.
A little further down the lawn, two figures sat in the grass side by side. I recognized Zane immediately, covered in ash and bloodied. Beside him, Juniper turned toward him and whispered something too softly for even me to hear. A shotgun lay in the grass beside her and her face was bruised, but when Zane reached out and cupped her cheek, she leaned into his hand. She closed her eyes, and they sat there silently, watching the house burn.
I watched with them, trying to figure out the bizarre feeling of melancholy that overtook me. I knew nothing was alive in that house. I knew that if Jeremiah had survived, Juniper wouldn’t be sitting here. She’d still be hunting him down.
They stood and turned to go. But when Juniper caught sight of me standing there, she raised the shotgun immediately, aimed and ready to fire. Zane laid a hand on her shoulder.
“Easy, Juni,” he said. I put up my hands and slowly, nervously, Juniper lowered her weapon.
“You beat me here,” I said. “Got to have all the fun before I could, eh?”
Zane smiled and shook his head, but Juniper came closer. The bruises on her were even worse than I thought, furious purple blossoms across her skin. She looked me over cautiously, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, but she didn’t raise the weapon again.
“Where’s Raelynn?” she said.
“Close by,” I said. “Hidden. She’s safe.”
She nodded. “We left no one alive. The Hadleigh family is gone. The Libiri are gone.”
The leaping flames had died down now, but the ashes still smoldered. “Jeremiah, too?”
“He died like a coward,” she said. “You would have loved to see it.”
“I would have loved to do it.”
She laughed, and slung the strap of her shotgun over her shoulder. “I sold my soul for revenge. It was mine to take. But it’s over.” She glanced back toward the house, the reflection of the flames making her eyes almost as golden as mine. “It’s over.”
Faintly, the distant wail of sirens began. Zane came up, and tugged lightly at a few strands of her hair. “We should go. This place will be swarming with people soon.”
She nodded, turned as if to leave, then suddenly turned back and held out her hand. It took me a moment to realize it was a handshake. Strange human comradery thing. As I took her hand, she said, “I forgive you. I really hate to say that, but I do.”
I’d never really cared about forgiveness. It was only meant to ease guilt and bring closure. But as they left, and the sirens grew louder, I took one last look at the smoldering ruins and realized that I needed closure.
I needed to know that all this was finally over.
We only had a little time.
Rae was still sleeping as I carried her through what remained of the house. The flames were almost entirely out now, leaving only the charred skeleton of the house behind. There were several bodies I came across, but I didn’t care about them. There was only one I was looking for.
When I found Jeremiah, he never would have been recognizable to human eyes. He was just a blackened husk, lying among the splintered glass and burnt wooden beams. But I knew him. Even dead and burned, I felt hatred looking at him.
It really was over. Nothing remained but ashes.
Rae squirmed a little in my arms as I made my way back out through the rubble, her eyes blinking slowly open. I felt her stiffen as she looked around, and I said softly, “Don’t be afraid, baby girl. You’re safe.”
“Where are we?” She tried to turned her head to look around. She was missing her shoes, so I wasn’t about to set her down.
“The Hadleigh house.”
“Did you do this? You burned it? How long was I asleep?” Her voice was deeper when she was sleepy, and a little raspy. It was so damn cute.
I almost lied. I almost told her that I did burn it, that I killed Jeremiah, that I made him pay for what he’d done, that I’d taken vengeance for her. But I couldn’t lie to her, even though I felt as if I’d failed her somehow.
“I didn’t do it. Juniper and Zane got here first. She got her revenge.” I could see flashing lights on the road. The fire trucks had arrived. I quickened my pace, jumped down from the back of the house and slipped away into the trees. Rae’s eyes were on me the whole time, watching my face even though it must have been a blur to her without her glasses.
“And Jeremiah?” she whispered. There was fear in her words, and it made anger boil up inside me. She didn’t deserve to feel afraid. I wished I could kill her fear. I wished I could rip it apart and burn its remains.
“He’s dead, baby girl. I wish I could say I’d done it, but they got to him first.”
The rain had slowed to a drizzle, dripping slowly down through the trees. I paused under the shelter of a thick pine, and let Raelynn stand on her feet for a few moments. She was wobbly, and leaned against me for support, her arms wrapped tightly around my chest. Feelings of comfort were relatively foreign to me, but holding her as she clung to me was easily the most comfortable thing I could imagine.
“I’m glad you didn’t have to do it,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “You’ve already had to kill enough. I know you’re tired.” She pressed her face against me again. “You deserve some rest.”
I frowned. “You think so?”
“Mmhm.” She reached her arms up, around my neck, and I scooped her up again. Through her yawn, she said, “I wanna go home and sleep. We can sleep for days, like you did before…and you don’t have to be angry anymore, because Jeremiah is gone and Kent is gone, and…” Another yawn. She was going to pass out again at any second. “We’re safe now. We’re both safe.”
Safe. What a strange idea. I hadn’t felt safe in over a hundred years. And I hadn’t seriously thought I could rest in nearly as long, at least until I met her. But now, as her eyes drooped closed again and I carried her toward home, I realized that I didn’t feel so angry anymore. The knot of hatred that had kept me going through all those years was loosening. Suddenly I was thinking of rest, I was thinking of calm and quiet.
I wanted to hold her in my arms, wrapped up in all her blankets, and sleep with her scent surrounding me. When we woke, I wanted to prove to her that she was safe again and again until there was no more fear in her voice, and all this was just a distant memory.
And I would. I’d keep her safe for eternity.
The storm that hit Abelaum was unlike anything the town had ever seen. The rain poured for days, an unending torrent that flooded the streets, with wind strong enough to knock out powerlines and leave half the townspeople without electricity. The cabin was dark, but Leon lit candles and kept me wrapped in blankets. Warm, safe, and never out of his sight.
When the storm finally ended, more destruction was reported. The soaked soil had caused the White Pine mine shaft to become a massive sinkhole, caving in on itself and completely demolishing what remained of the old tunnels. St. Thaddeus still stood, but its roof had caved in completely, and town officials began to talk of having it demolished despite its historical significance.
Without Kent Hadleigh around to protest it, the decision was made: the church, too, would be destroyed.
Jeremiah’s burned body had to be identified via dental records. The event was called a tragic accident, the fire supposedly started by the lightning that had accompanied the storm. Rumors that the fire had been set on purpose swirled around campus for weeks, but nothing came of it.
Some of my professors looked at me warily, almost bitterly. I would never know for certain, but I had to wonder if any of them had been in that church, hidden behind stag skull masks as Jeremiah cut me. I would always wonder who among them had eagerly awaited my death, but I hoped that every time they saw me walk in, alive and well, it burned them up inside.
I no longer dreamed of the mine’s dark tunnels. I didn’t hear the God call my name. The bruises from Its massive limbs squeezing me faded, but the marks left by Jeremiah’s knife became scars. Leon told me that if I wanted to try medical treatments to fade them, then money wasn’t an object.
I was beginning to suspect he had piles of gold hoarded away back in Hell, but he just laughed and wouldn’t confirm if it was true. He said that would be a surprise for when I got there.
His mark on my leg scarred too, but that was one scar I didn’t want to remove. He would trace it with his fingers, kiss it with his mouth, murmur the filthiest things as he ran his tongue across it. It was his mark of ownership, one only I could give him. A willing promise.
My soul was his to take, to love, to own – forever.
One story has come to an end.
But there is more to this tale to be told.
A story of revenge has yet to unfold.
Acknowledgements
To my husband, my man, my partner, my muse, to whom this book is dedicated. Thank you for being my biggest supporter, my voice of reason and sanity, that calm presence when I am absolutely losing my shit. Thank you for not judging me when I talk through dialogue scenes in the shower, and for always being willing to help me “test” positions before I write them.
To my kitties: Luna, Gizmo, and Azura. Thank you for trying to help write this book. Unfortunately, you’re not very good at spelling. But I know you were really trying all those times you walked across the keyboard.
To Zainab, thank you for helping make this book shine. Thank you for encouraging me when I thought I’d written absolute trash. You’re amazingly skilled and this book wouldn’t be what it is without you.
To my readers, every single one of you who has given love and support to a new author trying to find her way in this very wild publishing world: thank you. Dear God, thank you. You’ve changed my life. I cannot even say how much that means to me. But you’ve given me hope for a dream I’ve clung to since I was a little kid.
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