by Robyn Carr
She stood in the frame of the huge double doors and cast a long shadow toward her dad. He turned to look at her, and she just tilted her head and lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. He walked toward her, looked down at her and said, “Good. It’s time for you to take some chances, get on your own with the kids again. Make a life. What’d he offer you?”
“It wasn’t so much his offer as what I said it would take to get me to move—chief pilot.” Each time, it came out a little stronger.
To Buck’s credit, he didn’t register the least bit of surprise. But then he’d always had tremendous faith in his daughter’s abilities. He had expected her to be an astronaut, but he wasn’t disappointed with the path she’d taken. Now he nodded. “Good. Then only a couple of people have to die to make you CEO.”
“Buck, shame on you!”
He grabbed her elbow. “Come on, let’s find the kids, get a beer and celebrate.”
“You’re taking this awfully well.”
“You’re finally doing what I always expected you to do—run an airline. Besides, Vegas is just up the road.”
Dixie had given the matter of Carlisle a lot of thought before she finally picked up the phone and called him. No one could sympathize more—when it came to romance, hadn’t she been the biggest damn fool ever? She knew what it was like to make miserable choices and pay for them over and over again.
When he said hello, she asked, “Were you going to call me and tell me you were going home? Or just let me think you’d been kidnapped and murdered?”
Heavy sigh. “I just didn’t feel like being lectured,” he said.
“Really? I thought you enjoyed verbal abuse.”
“See? You’re doing it. Getting snotty.”
“It’s just so hard seeing you get hurt over and over again….”
“At least I keep getting hurt by the same man,” he said meanly. “You’ve taken on half the male population.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry. I might be a bit defensive.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Well, you’re right. I always get hurt by some new loser…. You just keep going back to the same loser. Carlisle, I’m afraid he’s going to give you some disease. I can’t stand it!”
“Dixie, you don’t have to stand it. All you have to do is respect my choice.”
“How can I? Tell me that! If I care about you, how can I watch you do this to yourself?”
“Just bite your tongue and be a pal.”
“Let’s go out for a drink and talk. Okay?”
“Can’t. Robert is due home soon and I promised a nice dinner since I didn’t fly today.”
“Tomorrow, then?”
“Look, Dixie, let’s give ourselves a little time to let the emotions settle down. Then we’ll have that drink and that talk, okay?”
“You’re brushing me off.”
“I’m saving myself an argument,” he told her. “Let me give you a call later. Hmm?”
“Sure,” she said. “Talk to you later, then. Oh, and incidentally, I’m fine.”
Silence answered her. “Sorry, chicklet. I never even asked. Are you? Really?”
No! I’ve been suspended without pay. I’m lonely. I’m scared…for both of us. We’re just a couple of dopes who keep getting shat upon. But all she said was, “Yeah. Fine.”
Seven
“Chief pilot,” Nikki told Dixie.
She was answered by a gasp, followed by stunned silence on the phone line. Then Dixie whispered, “Chief pilot? Oh…my…God…”
“I know. I’m kind of fluctuating between feeling my wildest dreams just came true and wondering if they’ve slammed the door behind me in the lion’s den.”
“You’ll knock ’em dead, sugar. You will.”
“Or they’ll eat me alive. Either way, I’m going for it. And I’m going for it fast. The kids and I are going up there right away to look the place over. If they approve of Las Vegas, we’ll start looking for a place to rent or buy so they’re ready to start school in, gosh, another month.”
“How’d they take it?” Dixie asked.
“It was incredible. I had myself all set up to argue with them about how this opportunity could be good for all of us when they started squealing and jumping up and down in excitement. Their mom is going to run a flying operation in Las Vegas. You’d think I was being elected president.”
“They’re such good kids. Smart kids. Are we going to get together for a goodbye?” Dixie asked.
“No,” she said. “There will be no goodbyes. It’s a forty-five-minute flight, for God’s sake. You fly free. Come up next weekend and help me look at houses.”
“Sure. Why not?” What Dixie didn’t add was, I don’t have to go to work, after all.
Although she totally deserved it, Nikki as the chief pilot of a new airline was a stunner! There were not a lot of women lined up to manage a fleet of commercial jets, and there weren’t all that many in line to fly them. And leaving a company where she had so much seniority when seniority was God? Not to mention uprooting the kids and moving away from Buck.
“I just can’t tell you what it feels like,” Nikki said. “I must be crazy—I’m not the least bit afraid and I should be scared to death. I just want to leave all this behind, the mess Drake left, the grind of complaining pilots at Aries, my personal—” She stopped.
“Your personal what?” Dixie pushed.
She sighed. Fifteen years of feeling like a total drone. Eleven years in a bad marriage, four years in a bad divorce. But what she said was “I need a challenge and a change, but what I need even more is to feel alive and have a little fun. To enjoy my life more. I’m really hoping the kids and I can do that.”
“Nobody deserves it more than you,” Dixie said.
“I don’t even have time to come over. I’m leaving Aries with my terminal vacation. Just say you’ll come up and help me. We’ll be starting from scratch because I’m getting rid of Drake’s furniture and leaving our bedrooms intact at Buck’s. You have some days off coming, don’t you?”
Dixie laughed into the phone. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
So Nikki and the kids left the following morning, with Buck’s promise to fly up on the weekend. Thanks to cell phones and their package deals, Dixie talked to Nikki several times that week. And she talked to the kids, as well. Each time they told her about some new discovery they’d made in the suburbs of Las Vegas. They had all been to Las Vegas before, but none of them had ever been off the Strip. Just minutes away were hillsides blossoming with new homes, schools, rec centers, libraries, shopping, parks and parks and parks.
Dixie kept the sulk out of her voice and cheered them on. “How wonderful!” she exclaimed. “Awesome!” But inside she was so jealous she could spit.
I’m toast here, she thought. I have a lousy reputation—people I work with think I’m a slut or an idiot and I don’t know which is worse. I’m on suspension, one of my best friends is starting her life over, the other one isn’t talking to me…. Oh, God, I need a fresh start as much as anyone!
So…why not? I’ll go, too. I’ll leave Phoenix and get a job in Las Vegas—start over. At least I’ll have one good friend there.
It was a totally impetuous decision, one Dixie didn’t even share with her parents. For all she knew, her family felt the same about her as her coworkers—that she was either stupid or easy. When she got right down to it, she didn’t care that much what people thought. The problem was that she was starting to wonder herself which was true.
Every time Nikki called, Dixie forced herself to sound upbeat. No, she said, she couldn’t get up there that very first weekend Nikki was in Las Vegas…but maybe the next one. She kept her plans to herself and just kept packing.
A friend who was in real estate came over to look around the town house. Dixie didn’t want to list it for sale until she was sure the move was in her best interests—and the job and housing market in Las Vegas would tell her that much pretty quickly.
Her e
ssential household items were stored in boxes in her garage, but Dixie left the furniture in the town house. She could hire movers from Las Vegas if things worked out there. Nikki and the kids were staying at a suites inn in Henderson, so she called and made sure she could get a room there, as well. Then she filled up her car with luggage, a few linens, an emergency cooking kit and her favorite potted plants.
Wait till Nick and the kids saw her drive up with her car loaded! They wouldn’t believe it!
Dixie felt the same way she had when she left college at twenty-one to become a flight attendant, before completing her degree. Back then she’d fully intended to travel the world and snag a husband and start a family. Her own family was horrified, but she had been so sure of what she was doing. This time, though, she wasn’t thinking husband or family, she was thinking of building herself a life with herself for a change. No way did she want to end up as pathetic as Carlisle—just not happy unless she was being treated like pond scum by some handsome and useless guy.
She would have to say goodbye to him of course. They hadn’t talked since he told her they should let their emotions settle down awhile. Frankly, she was furious with him, but that didn’t keep her from loving him like a brother. He and Nikki were her closest friends, and even when she hated him, she loved him. She would miss him desperately, but it had become increasingly painful to watch Carlisle’s self-image deteriorate because of Robert’s bullying.
She just hoped she wouldn’t sob all the way to Las Vegas.
The day she was to leave, she locked the door to her town house and closed the garage door, then drove her packed car around the bend to Carlisle’s house. She left the engine running when she went to the door so she wouldn’t be tempted to delay. But there was no answer. She rang, knocked, rang and knocked again. Trust Carlisle to screw up their sad farewell, she thought, even if he hadn’t known she was leaving.
As she started back down the walk, she heard the door creak open behind her. When she turned, Carlisle was standing in the doorway. “So, you are home,” she greeted him. “Were you not answering because it was me knocking?”
“No, of course not,” he replied unconvincingly. He looked at his watch. “But I have to go get in the shower and change clothes. I…ah…picked up a trip. Can I give you a call tomorrow?”
“That’s okay, Carlisle. I just came to say goodbye. I think I’m moving.”
He wrinkled his brow in question. “You think you’re moving?”
She stood in the middle of the sidewalk, trying not to go closer. “Did Nikki call you and tell you about Las Vegas? The new job she took?”
“Yes, but—”
“Well, she doesn’t know this, but I’m moving up there, too,” Dixie said. “I’m going to surprise her and the kids.” She swallowed. “I need a fresh start, Carlisle. And I wanted to say goodbye, even though we’re having this little…What would you call it, Carlisle? Standoff?”
He gave a huff of unamused laughter. “Something like that.”
“So, don’t tell them, okay? I didn’t even ask her. Not that I need her permission. But I hate my life here, my life at Aries. You know what I mean. And…I’m the only one who can do anything about it, right?”
“Do you have a big job waiting for you at the new airline?” he asked her.
“I have no job waitin’ for me there.” She laughed, amazed at how okay that was. “But I bet I can get hired, and if not, I should be able to land a good waitressing job in one of the big casinos. I hear the tips are great.” She grinned. “Think I’ll be able to sling drinks if the ground isn’t movin’ beneath me? I might even go back to school. Finish my degree. I’m obviously never having a family, so I figure I better see if I can find a career where I can move up the ladder.” She took a couple of steps toward him and saw him flinch uncomfortably. So, he was still pissed. “If I do apply to the airline, I bet I can get a good seniority number, though. I might even try to get into management—supervisor or training or something with a little more responsibility.”
“You’d be a good supervisor,” he said, but he was so distant, so detached.
“You’re still so mad at me?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “No, I’m just—Really, I have to get going.”
“I know, Carlisle, and I hate goodbyes, so there’s no need to drag this out.” She walked toward him briskly. “I’m going to miss you so much,” she said, her voice catching. “As soon as I get a place, you bid a Las Vegas layover, okay?” She reached for him then, and even though he kept his arms rigid at his sides, she embraced him. He felt stiff, uncomfortable, and he didn’t hug her back. Dixie was filled with the pain of loss. It was so hard to believe that their tiff, about the twentieth on the same subject, could completely alienate them this way. “Come up to Vegas and spend a night or two, let me take you out on the town. I’ll try to make up for being such an opinionated…”
She stopped talking and withdrew from him a bit, looking into his eyes, which were moist and sad and not making contact with hers. Dixie didn’t know how she knew, but she did. Tugging on his lightweight shirt, she pulled it free of his waist and lifted it up.
His torso was covered with bruises. Very gently she let the shirt fall back down and waited for him to say something. But he just bit his lip and his eyes filled with tears.
Sweet Carlisle! Sweet, generous, loving Carlisle! Never before had Dixie felt such a murderous rage. She concentrated very hard on keeping her voice under control and fairly whispered, “Have you seen a doctor?”
“Yes,” he said. “I had some X rays. I’m all right.”
“Not exactly, but nothin’s broken. Huh?” He nodded. She gently grabbed his chin in her thumb and finger. “You don’t have a trip, do you?”
“No. I have a little time off to heal from my…fall.”
She winced. “Come with me. Right now. Get your wallet, checkbook, keys and get in my car.”
“I can’t,” he said.
“No, what you can’t do is stay here another day. We’ll stop at the police department and file a report, get an order of protection and be on our way. We’ll put a couple of clothing changes on my charge card and take care of your car and things later. All that matters right now is that you get away from here and that Robert is never allowed to touch you again.”
“He’s due home any—”
“Carlisle, if you don’t get in my car before he gets here, he is in very grave danger, because I so want to kill him.”
“You just don’t know—”
“I do so! This is it! This is the end of the line! Either come now or let him kill you. Because you know that’s where it’s going. You know it only gets worse and worse and—”
He kissed her forehead and, with a lame smile, turned and walked into his town house. The door clicked closed.
Dixie stood there numbly for a moment, then kicked the door with all her might. Fists clenched at her sides, she stomped like an angry two-year-old. “Damn it, damn it, damn it!”
She sat down on the front step, not sure she could leave him bruised like that. Should she go back home and unpack—tell him she was still right around the corner? But hadn’t she been right around the corner when this happened?
Maybe she should call the police. Have them come out and make a report whether Carlisle wanted to or not?
She could wait for Robert to come home and run him over when he was on his way down the street to the mailbox.
She covered her face with her hands and cried. Stupid, stupid, stupid jerk! How could Carlisle let this happen and not leave? Not fight back? Not even tell his best friend? Because this had not been the first time, and it would not be the last. It was never the last.
Fighting back her tears, she stood and wiped her hands down her jeans. All she could really do, she knew, was give up and leave. She’d go to Vegas and tell Nikki. Maybe she could get through to him. As much as Dixie wanted to kill Robert, she’d better go before he came home. Chances were if he found out she knew, it
would just go harder on Carlisle.
But leaving him there was so hard! What if she never saw him again? She climbed into the car and drove into his cul-de-sac, her vision blurred by tears, and made a U-turn.
As she drove back to his house, she saw him walking toward the curb, pulling his suitcase on rollers behind him. She should have figured Carlisle would keep a bag packed for work.
Dixie slammed on the brakes and jumped out, but her driverless car almost ran her over as she rounded the front. She’d forgotten to put it in Park. As soon as she set the gear, she rushed over to Carlisle.
He put up a cautioning hand. “Easy.”
“Yes! Yes, I know! Just get in, okay?” Grabbing his bag away from him, she shoved it onto the pile of stuff in the back seat while Carlisle settled himself in the front, a plant on the floor at his feet. She slammed the back door and jumped into the driver’s seat. “Thank you,” she said. “Leaving you there was one of the worst moments of my life.”
“Well, being left could have been one of the last moments of mine.”
The kids were wild about living in Las Vegas. They’d expected just another desert city like Phoenix, but Las Vegas was a fantasyland. Life-size pirate ships did battle right on Las Vegas Boulevard; brightly colored hot air balloons raced over the desert; choreographed fountains danced sixty feet in the air to the strains of Andrea Bocelli’s “Con Te Partirò.” Nikki took them to dinner in the Eiffel Tower and for gondola rides along the indoor canals of the Venetian resort.
She also showed them her office at New Century Air, but it was hard for them to be impressed because of all the confusion and clutter. She introduced them to a few people, whose names they would no doubt forget before they got home—with one exception. Her clotheshorse, April, would never forget Jewel’s Prada handbag. Then she called Mark Shows and asked if there was any way they could get on the airplane.