“Well, I’m safe. You’re alive. And”—I reach over the folded-down front seats and pull a couple of T-shirts from my bag—“it’s late. How about I drive you back to wherever you left your car, and we can go back to our places. Call it a night. You know, we had a good time, but now it’s over.”
“For tonight.”
I glance at Kade—a mistake. With his semi-erect shaft resting on his stomach and his body relaxed and leaning against the backseat, he could be a wicked sex demon or something. If he curled his finger, I’d crawl back on his lap. “Yep, definitely for tonight. It’s also over for—”
“For tonight only.” Kade slides his hands up my thighs, his thumbs stroking the inside of my legs until his fingertips touch the ripped edges of my leggings. “But we will pick up again exploring this connection between us later today. That I promise you.”
With a hard flick of my wrist, I toss a shirt at Kade, hitting his face. He makes no move to grab it. He sits up, the pink cotton top falling over his groin and completely missing his cock that’s standing a lot taller than it had before I threw a shirt at him.
I tug my top over my head. “No. I don’t think that’ll be happening. This was great and all, but I’m more of a one-and-done kind of girl, and I don’t—”
“Zoe.”
His tone stops my rambling, stops my breath, stops the world around me. All that’s left is Kade and what he’s going to say.
Kade draws me forward, sliding me up his legs until his cock and the discarded shirt separate us. “Don’t fear this.”
“I don’t fear anything.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.” I spread my fingers over Kade’s chest, keeping the space between our bodies. “Why should I fear anything? I can only control so much. If I can’t stop something bad from happening, then that’s the way it is. Some things in life hurt.”
“Fear can keep us alive.”
“If I die because I’ve done something stupid, then I die.”
“You can’t die.” Kade wraps his arms around me and bends his head closer, his lips brushing my temple. “You’re too important to me.”
“Then you need to reexamine what that word means to you. Someday, I’m going to die. That’s just the way it is. You can’t stop old age. So my advice to you is to save that particular emotion for someone who can return the sentiment. I can’t.”
Silence stretches between us, building into a tension I can’t bring myself to break even though I know nothing good will come from whatever Kade is struggling to say. Finally, he exhales, the warmth of his breath compelling me to lean into him with an unspoken promise he alone can chase the chill from my soul. “You’re my true mate, Zoe Jane Conway.”
The laugh on my lips is the crazed kind. I lean back as far as Kade’s loose embrace allows and take in his image. Seriousness leaves his gaze focused and firms the already hard press of his mouth. I shake my head on another twisted sound. “Are you sure you’re completely healed? I did use hollow-point bullets. Maybe you should go home and get a good night’s rest. Don’t worry, I won’t mention you’re messed up and rambling to anyone. It’ll be our little secret.”
“You’re my true mate, Zoe Jane Conway. I don’t need time to think about it or consider what it means. It’s a truth I feel in my soul.”
I open my mouth but no good response comes to me. Claiming I’m just a human won’t sway his mind. His twin, Rafe, is mated to a human. So are a bunch of other shifters in this area. Zach gave me a quick rundown on the happenings I missed out on while I was on the move. Telling Kade I’m not worthy won’t mean anything either, especially considering he told me I was special to him months ago. Of course, then he went and announced he was going to mate Mira. Even calling him on the lie won’t help. I already know enough of the details of why they did what they did.
I have nothing to say to dissuade him, but in the end, I have nothing to give him either.
My heart belongs to the dead. My body’s as good as dead too. It’s just a shell, barren and cold. My heart just hasn’t realized it can stop beating now. My brother still holds too much of a place in it. I love him, and I’m not ready to let him go. I can’t. I promised him I’d have his back—always—just as he’s had mine.
Kade swipes a fingertip across my cheek to the corner of my eye. “I’d like to think these are happy tears, but considering you’re looking at me as if gave you the worst possible news, I won’t delude myself.”
And despite whatever Kade sees, his expression doesn’t change. If anything, a determined glint settles in his gaze, a promise that convincing me of this truth he believes will be his greatest challenge.
“You’ve made a mistake.” It’s all I can say to save us both from dealing with the ugly aftermath of Kade’s declaration.
“I haven’t. You—”
“Stop, Kade. Just stop before you embarrass yourself anymore. This is just after-sex talk, and I don’t need it. Fucking you was amazing. I wanted to do it. You didn’t coerce me or anything, and I’m not expecting anything now that it’s over. We’re different species. There’s no need to worry about babies or diseases, so there’s no need to try to make this special or even talk about tonight. We fucked. We orgasmed. We had fun. Let’s leave it at that.” I stretch to open the passenger door and climb out. Cold air slaps me and sucks the warmth of loving Kade from my body.
Without looking to see his reaction, I dig out a pair of baggy sweatpants, the kind that’s perfect for lounging in your house when you’re not expecting company, and wriggle my boots through the elastic openings, then pull them up, covering the ripped leggings. With the evidence of the impromptu and wild encounter we shared hidden, I turn and come face-to-face with Kade’s bare chest.
Kade clasps my elbows, holding me in place without surrounding me. “Do you understand the term ‘true mate’ and why it’s special?”
“Yes. Josh married and mated his true mate. Hard not to understand when it hits so close to home.”
“Then you know your soul is mine. Has always been mine. Will. Always. Be. Mine.” Kade lowers himself, crouching until we’re eye level. “And my soul is yours. Forever, Zoe. We’re two halves of a whole—true mates, fated mates, soul mates. Use whatever term helps you come to terms with what we are together, but know it won’t go away. I won’t go away. Ever. No matter how far and for how many lifetimes I must chase your soul. The ending will be the same. I will claim you.”
The lump in my throat hurts. So does the tightness in my chest. Kade’s stare doesn’t allow for me to acknowledge the guilt. Or the regret. “You’ve made a mistake.”
“I didn’t. I’ve never experienced anything like what we shared tonight with—”
I press my finger to Kade’s mouth and soften my voice, adding a layer of deception to my lie. “But I have.”
“You’re lying to me.”
He’s right. No matter how much I wish it, I never experienced anything like tonight with BJ. Kade doesn’t need the truth, and this lie sits heavy in my gut, leaving a stain on my soul and eating me from the inside out. It’s also all I can say to save us both. “I can’t be what you need.”
“You already are, or my goddess wouldn’t have chosen you to be mine.”
I hold Kade’s face as he did mine not long ago and kiss him, a gentle goodbye. “Then your goddess hates you, because she paired you with a broken woman whose heart belongs to the dead. This lifetime, the next, it won’t matter. I made my choice, and he’s not you.”
Kade doesn’t say anything as I back away. He doesn’t stop me when I close the passenger door and walk around the ’Cuda or when I climb into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t so much as move when the car turns over. He also doesn’t look at me as I drive away, but I take in his image until darkness swallows him.
Then I focus on the road ahead of me and drive, but no matter how far I run, there’s no escaping what happened tonight. Kade gave me a glimpse of heaven…of all the things that could’ve b
een. Too bad he came along too late. I played the love card and lost. Everything.
Twelve
Kade
The Black Widow’s reputation as neutral territory is well known. Any shifter is welcome. Josh, the bar’s owner, stands by that rule. So it’s not a surprise to see several members of the Royal Winchester pack and members of the local single packs mingling among the humans during happy hour. The newly released convict sitting with a human woman wearing an oversized hoodie in the very back corner of the bar, however, is not a common sight. In fact, it’s the reason I’m here on official Shifter Affairs business.
That woman has not been cleared by Shifter Affairs to resume her normal life. Likely, she’ll never be allowed to go anywhere unsupervised, even if her memories are buried. Charley O’Connor, the popular human model and social influencer who was thrust into the shifter world after finding Julius Lynch’s youngest son hanging from a tree, poses a risk to our species’ secret world. One accidental slip of the tongue, and a social media storm could snowball into our worst nightmare.
“I’m surprised that woman is still alive.” I step next to where Josh is leaning against the wall near the hallway to the back office.
Ezra, my blind cousin and my Shifter Affairs partner, moves to my other side. “I’m not. From what I hear, that option isn’t on the table. She’s popular among our kind too. Aside from modeling, she’s also an actress, though I’m hearing that’s not where her expansive portfolio has come from. She’s made millions off her body.”
“You’d never know by looking at her now. She’s drowning under that big hoodie. Had Ilan not picked up on her scent, I wouldn’t have recognized her. I never met her or followed her on social media.” Josh casts me a concerned look. “But lots of other people have, and I don’t want word of her visit getting out. This place will go nuts, and I only have Ilan working. My night bouncers don’t start for hours.”
Ilan, an ancient Royal assassin and another agent working alongside me at Shifter Affairs, can handle any disturbance, but Josh is right to be concerned. Charley’s fans believe she checked into a private rehabilitation center for drug addicts, a lie fully supported and propagated by Shifter Affairs and an untruth Charley herself has decried unfair. I can’t exactly blame her. With one fabricated announcement, her reputation, and most likely her career, swirled down the toilet.
“How did she even get here? She’s supposed to be under guard while her case is evaluated.” Ilan is one of the Shifter Affairs agents taking turns babysitting the woman.
“Her guard is sitting right over there, drunk and passed out.” Josh tilts his head slightly, indicating the man at the bar with his head down. “He came stumbling in here with Charley not long ago, the two of them laughing and holding hands. She ordered a bottle of Sweet Fire and kept pouring him shots until he nearly fell off his chair. Then she pushed his cheek to the counter, patted his head, and stepped away, nodding to Ilan as she walked past.”
“Cocky, isn’t she?” Ezra curls a lip. “Maybe she needs to be told how lucky she is to be alive.”
“Maybe.” I look past Ezra’s body to where Vince is bent close to her, showing her something on his phone. “But I’m more concerned with why she went through the trouble of getting out here. Obviously, she’s not planning to escape under the watching eyes of several agents.”
“Isn’t it obvious? She came here to meet Vince.” Josh grunts. “He was sitting there alone with an untouched bottle of beer for so long, my waitresses were asking me if they should ask him to leave. It was obvious he was waiting for someone. When she showed up, he waved her over.”
“Because she didn’t recognize him? Or didn’t see him?”
“Likely the latter, but it’s hard to tell from watching them if they know each other well.”
“Either way”—I push from the spot on the wall I’m leaning against—“it’s time to find out what they’re talking about, then get her out of here.”
Josh steps in front of me, not touching me, but blocking my path all the same. “Why is he still in town? You know what he did to Zoe…to her family. He should be dead, not walking the same streets as my sister. At the very least, you should’ve sent him running, not left him here to torment Zo.”
“I don’t know what he’s done. No one’s told me. Not you. Not Zoe. Not even Specialized Affairs.”
“He attacked her because he wanted her. He wanted the baby she was carrying to be his. BJ fought him, and Vince threw him over the overlook’s edge. And I stopped Vince from finishing her off or whatever he planned to do.”
“That’s what she told the police, or is that what you saw?”
“That’s what’s in the public record. Surely you pulled that information already.”
I had. I also know from reading the court transcripts, Zoe changed her story several times. So did Josh, actually. Vince’s recollection remained the same, however. I doubt any of the versions reflected the truth. Where shifter-related crimes are concerned, nothing is as it seems. “What really happened?”
Josh stares at me for so long, I’m not sure he plans on speaking. Finally, he lowers his voice, guaranteeing nobody around us has the slightest chance of overhearing us. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I know, but then I remember something different. I’m not even sure why I was there, but I’m glad I was. Zoe was bleeding out. If I hadn’t been there, she would’ve died, but one truth remains the same. Vince wanted something he couldn’t have, and Zoe ended up suffering because of his fixation with her.”
“Does he still want her?” If so, my plans concerning Zoe will change. I won’t risk losing her, whether by someone taking her from me or her choosing another male.
“Only Vince can answer that, but he can’t hurt her.” Ezra’s confidence bleeds through in another low breath of sound from my right. “Neither can his pride. That’s part of his release agreement. Ella made sure that was very clear to the Council and the Yurans. Zoe so much as gets a scratch, and Specialized Affairs is ready to go after Vince and his family. There’s a lot of anger and resentment among certain members of the government over what they see as a betrayal of the agreement signed between our groups. They’re ready to use this situation to make some changes to it, and, according to Ella, it won’t bode well for our freedom.”
I glance at Ezra despite the need to meet his gaze. “How so?”
“She wouldn’t say.”
“I don’t care about any agreement, whether it’s a centuries old one or one made yesterday.” Anger simmers in the air around Josh. “Vince deserves to suffer for what he did to Zoe.”
I bend closer to Josh, letting my aura counter and calm Josh’s fury before humans take too much notice of what’s going on in this little section of the bar. “Any retribution I seek will endanger my family and yours.”
“Blood for blood. That’s how it is in our world.” Ezra grips Josh’s bicep, drawing him closer and lowers his voice to a whisper. “Kade is right to approach this carefully. If he acts without the justification, Asa will come for him, leaving a path of blood in his wake.”
“Eliminating those Kade cares about.” Josh raises a brow. “Right? So where does that leave me? Is your advice to me the same as it was a few days ago?”
Stay here and fight for the right to live. That’s what I told him. It seems wrong to do so now, especially after reminding him my actions concerning Vince might damn Josh’s kids. “You must do what’s right for your family just as I’m doing what’s right for mine.”
“If it was your babies and your true mate in danger, what would you do?”
“As alpha…” I hesitate, not because I don’t have a response. My answer will seal Josh’s decision. His respect for me equals trust. We’re friends. Actually, we’re more than friends, though I don’t have a term for our connection. Josh is possessed by my pride’s goddess. He’s bonded to her, yet he’s not. Still, in my eyes and those of my cats, he’s a blood brother.
“I can’t hide my babies or my true
mate.” I voice the stand I must take, and the one Zoe will need to follow. “Doing so would be the ultimate sign of weakness, and I can’t afford to appear weak. I have too many innocents relying on me. My mate and any children I have must be capable of defending themselves, just as my mother and my siblings were expected to be able to avoid danger or fight well enough until help could arrive. Other alphas might choose differently. The Alexander pride has a reputation, however. It’s one my family will uphold no matter what.”
Josh gives a single nod. “Noted.”
My first instinct is to tell him my choices don’t have to apply to him, but I match his nod instead. Josh needs to make his own decisions, and if that includes putting his faith in me and my opinions, then that’s something he has to live with. I’ll do everything in my power to make good on my word both to Josh and his sister.
Moving around Josh and Ezra, I make my way across the room, giving Ezra’s seeing eye dog a direction to follow.
A few feet from the table, Vince leans back and smiles at me with a smugness I can’t attribute to anything at first glance. “Kade, alp—”
“Save that greeting for a different location and time. Today, address me as Agent Alexander. I’m here on official Specialized Affairs business.”
“Really?” Vince raises a brow. “Why is that?”
I crouch next to a woman who should be homebound. Heavy makeup gives her a worn-down appearance, with under-eye circles and thin lips, along with a heavy sprinkling of freckles I know for a fact she doesn’t have. Curiosity had me checking out her social media profiles, just as I’m sure every agent who learned of the events thrusting her into our world has done in the weeks since she’s been in “rehabilitation.”
Possessed by the Alpha Page 12