Zoe
Kade’s tension could’ve been my own. I roll my neck, but the tightness remains. So does the pressure—the demand—I win. It’s not my need to succeed, however. Kade’s the one carrying the weight of the world, at least for the part of the planet I call home. Everyone living in this section of West Virginia—shifter and human alike—rely on Kade, whether they know it or not.
I fan the tops of the many manila folders in the filing cabinet in Kade’s office. He hasn’t questioned why I’m rooting through his stuff or told me to stop. Although I’m not planning on stealing anything or sabotaging his stuff, he doesn’t know that. The truth is, I’m curious. It’s the one quality of mine that’s gotten me in trouble more than once. Kade doesn’t know my motives are innocent, however. I haven’t hidden my past petty crimes. I’ve flaunted them. Yet, he’s remained silent while I skim his banking and business stuff. Is that trust? I’m not sure, but I know one thing—I feel safe and welcome in Kade’s home and in his life.
“Why did you invest in all these local businesses? There’s one here that makes homemade soaps, shampoos, and candles. You can’t tell me that’s profitable.”
“Surprisingly, it is. Shifters don’t like artificial scents in the products we use. It messes with our senses.” Kade glances over his shoulder, catching my eye before resuming his study of the darkened landscape outside his window. “But you’d know that.”
I accept the jab. My use of cover scents worked brilliantly in a pinch. I’m still proud of my creativity. “Your investment choices seem odd, is all. You have a whole drawer dedicated to local stuff, from business to the charities you regularly donate to. I look at all this and can’t help but think you’ve decided to become some kind of benefactor to this area.”
Kade’s grunt answers me.
I close the drawer and take in his image, from where his hands are clasped behind his back to the fancy shoes on his feet and the stiff fold of his collar. Underneath all that is a body more fit for a football field or straight-up hard labor than this richly decorated office. Even those descriptions don’t fit him. Hard one moment, diplomatic and cunning the next. There’s no doubt about it. He’s so much more than who he appears to be.
With my gaze locked on his hands and the dots of white over his knuckles, I make my way across the room and loop my arms around his waist. He reaches back and holds me, settling his hand on my bottom. I rest my cheek against Kade’s spine and breathe. Minutes pass with me holding Kade and him holding me. He doesn’t turn and take me into his arms or kiss me and push this moment into one where lust rules. All it would take is his lips on mine. Desire hovers between us. The raw need has a force of its own. Instead of giving in to it, Kade relaxes. Tension slips from him, his body purging all his anxiety and stress with his slow and steady exhales.
Peace.
The feeling is overwhelming, flowing from him to me and back. Where not long ago the demands of life and the looming threats hyped both of us, here in the quiet of Kade’s office, there’s this sense of rightness. It’s a promise of… “Everything will work out.”
“It has to.” Kade’s tone holds a finality to it even while his posture remains loose.
“It will.”
A slight roll of Kade’s back gives me the physical confirmation of his nod. Silence returns. The ticking of the grandfather clock near the door becomes a second heartbeat. Yet, I wait. This is Kade’s chance to talk and for me to listen.
Finally, Kade says, “The Alexander pride’s goddess no longer talks to me.”
“She’s bonded to my brother.” That much I know. Without her, Josh wouldn’t possess the big cats living within him or been able to mate Mira, or father her kids, for that matter. Humans and shifters together are infertile. A human female can only act as a surrogate.
“I’m not sure she’ll ever talk to me again, and I don’t know what that means for me or all those connected to me. The Alexander pride’s goddess was our gateway to the heavens, and as alpha, I was the guardian to that pathway. I still feel my pride mates, including those who have passed from this world. Come every full moon, I catch glimpses of their lives, living and dead. I sense them, their needs and their pains and their happiness. In those respects, nothing has changed.”
“But?” Because there is one. I can hear the consideration in Kade’s voice.
“I no longer know how to reach the heavens. The path is gone, simply wiped away as if there has never been a way to reach it.”
“What does that mean?”
Kade shrugs, the rippling of his muscles a sensual caress. “I don’t know. None of my pride mates have died and needed to find their way.”
“What happens if that path to the heavens is gone?”
“I don’t know. My goddess doesn’t either, or she won’t say. Josh has posed the question to her, and she shrugs, then walks away.”
“Then nobody can die.”
Kade snorts. “That’s always the plan. Each of us has a reason to endure, even if we don’t see it.”
The consequences of an alpha bonding with a possessed shaman press down on me. “We can’t soul bond. It’s too dangerous.”
“We have to s…” Kade takes a breath, expanding his chest and holding it before letting the pent-up air escape. “Why is it dangerous?”
Kade’s restraint adds to this feeling of belonging, of being a part of a relationship, of being his partner. He was going to tell me we had to soul bond but stopped himself and asked my thoughts instead.
“If we soul bond, and I lose my battle with her, she can…”
“Claim my soul and potentially that of every member of the Alexander pride, living or dead.” Kade finishes my words, proving he’d already considered the possibility.
“Yes.” I slip in front of Kade. “The risk is too great. I want you to take the piece of your soul back.”
He holds my gaze for an endless moment. His agreement is there in his eyes. I see it. What’s worse is I feel it flowing through me as clearly as his peace had moments ago, and the rejection growing within me hurts more than I imagined it could.
Stupid! It’s all stupid! Him, me, these ridiculous emotions. Everything is stupid. Including my “woe is me” attitude. Kade is not regretting me. He’s making the best choice for everyone involved.
“Never mind. I’ll call Jarah or Dr. Fairchild. Maybe one of them can separate your soul from mine.” I scoot around him.
Kade snags my sweatshirt and tugs me, smacking my back to his chest. “You’re right. The risk is too great.”
“Then do it. Right here. Right now. Before either of us can change our minds.”
“While my goddess has shown me visions multiple times over my tenure as alpha, she’s only spoken to me once. The night I became alpha.” Kade crosses his arms over me, spreading his right hand over my left thigh and his left over my right. The move engulfs me but doesn’t lock my body to his. All it would take is me scooting under his arm.
“She told me I was special.” Kade presses his lips to my head. “That I was the chosen one to lead the shifter world into the future. The Alexander pride would shatter barriers long-ago erected by the misdeeds of the heavens. We’d be the gold standard other shifter families could follow. Our principles, our honor, our loyalty—all these things would guide us, but most of all, we’d have to remain strong to face the challenges awaiting us. Change does not come easily to a species as old as time.”
“Talk about pressure.”
Kade offers up a small laugh, my awkward comment obviously lightening his mood. “Yes, a little. Especially when she warned me I couldn’t fail. Everything was depending on me. Everything. She stressed this. I was her chosen one. Her handpicked warrior. And you, Zoe… She chose you to be my true mate.”
“To make you godlike.”
“To be my life, my haven, my everything.”
“She didn’t know I’d make the mistake I did. She—”
“She’s the Golden Goddess, a mixture of pure be
auty and deadly fury. Some say she’s not simply a goddess but one of the elite, maybe a queen. I can’t speak to that, but I know she’s extremely powerful, a being with the ability to transcend time and foresee the future. And she sacrificed greatly to give me what I need to thrive. I just have to claim her. Those are the words she passed on to me through your brother. I just have to claim her, and I’ll have everything I could possibly ask for.”
“Me.” My breath catches. “She was talking about me, wasn’t she?”
“Yes.”
Kade steps around me, his fingertips sliding off and tempting me to reach for him. I don’t give in to the urge. The flickering flames from the fireplace dance light and shadows across his face, a mesmerizing display that holds me enthralled and fixated on my true mate.
Standing in front of me with mere inches separating us, Kade warms me with only his heated gaze. “And she’s right. Everything I could possibly ask for is right in front of me.”
“I’m scared.” My admission turns me into a hypocrite. I’ve sworn time and time again nothing frightens me. I was wrong.
Kade holds his hand out. “Then let me hold you.”
With my attention on his face, I rest my palm on his, and his gentle grip builds a sensation of belonging within me. He draws me close, then lifts me, swooping me up with ease. I loop my arms around his neck and rest my cheek against his chest, where his heart beats steady and strong. “I don’t want to fail you.”
“Then let me love you,” Kade breathes the words into my hair.
The emotion I haven’t been able to name grows stronger, expanding outward as if the moon broke free of the storm clouds shadowing it. No guilt accompanies it. No regret. There’s only this desire to raise my face to the soft light and bask in its beauty. I turn my head instead and burrow my nose into Kade’s shirt, where his scent acts as a lulling enticement. “Love won’t save you from Hell if I damn you there.”
“Then let me be the one to guide us out.” Kade brushes his lips over my temple and down my cheek, and I tip my head for him, giving myself to him. “Let me be the one you reach for when darkness calls, when Hell whispers your name. Let me be the one you fight for.”
“Kade.” I turn my head for his kiss. The gentle rolling strokes leave me pliant and loose, and all the while, that emotion I had no name for swells into a raging tide threatening to sweep me away.
“Liar.” The word reverberates within me, not quite spoken, but I hear it all the same. “He’ll take away our freedom. He’ll turn us into nothing more than his weapon and…”
An inhale fills me with my true mate’s scent. Memories of heaven overpower the reminders of hell and chase back her.
“Kade.” I say his name again, drawing strength from it and from him. More warmth flows between us, him to me. My lips tingle first, then fingers and toes and everything in between. Desire flickers, then flames in an expanding rush of pure need until there’s no room for doubt, for fear, for questions. There’s only us, and this promise of forever, wherever it takes us.
I shift my weight and wrap my legs around Kade’s waist, clinging to the only man in the world who can save me from drowning in the cold dark sea that’s always waiting to drag me under. I kiss him with abandon, letting any reservations fall to the side. Loving Kade doesn’t erase what I felt for BJ and for the life we’d planned. Loving Kade offers me another chance.
I lick his lips. He tastes of the richest wine or the thickest stout, so hearty and full, I’ll never thirst again. I curl my tongue around his, sucking on him and thrusting deeper while his hands stroke over my back and down to my ass. The firmness of his caresses grows, instilling the sensation of being possessed.
More.
The craving is soul-deep. Undeniable. This man can nourish me—strengthen me—even as I empower him. She is wrong about that. He won’t take away my freedom. He’ll unleash us.
Kade lowers us to the floor. He reaches out a hand, and I tighten my grip on him, refusing to let go. Something topples. He pushes it aside. My gun is set away next. Fabric brushes against my toes, my shoes long gone, kicked off somewhere by the front door. Then I’m lowered onto the softest quilt I’ve ever touched. Kade works my jeans down, pushing them lower and breaking our kiss only long enough to drag them off my legs. He grips the edge of my oversized sweatshirt—his sweatshirt and my new favorite piece of clothing—and lifts. I sit up and raise my arms. The sweatshirt is set to the side as gently as my gun had been. My two thermals follow it, Kade’s fingertips finally tracing the raised and ugly scars on my stomach, and then…
Then Kade kneels next to me, his attention on my face, not my body or the evidence of the old wounds disfiguring me. He looks into my eyes and sees me—what’s in my heart and my soul.
Devotion. That’s what’s in his gaze. That’s what’s in my soul. It’s his emotion. It’s mine too. I can’t separate us, and I don’t want to. Here, with Kade’s focus solely on me, I feel…
“Beautiful.” Kade touches my cheeks, my nose, my lips. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
The truth is mixed into this sense of utter worship. I can’t deny it, but…
“Look at me.” I prop myself on my elbows, the scars marring my stomach bunching and bulging where the healed skin is nothing more than thick, hard lines. “I look like some bad prop at a horror movie.”
Kade’s focus doesn’t wander. He stares into my eyes, our faces inches apart. “I see you.”
“You’re not looking at me.”
“I am. I have been. I haven’t stopped looking at you since the moment you returned to me.” Kade leans in, touching his lips to mine and effectively silencing me. He doesn’t kiss me, yet I feel him with me, in me, a part of me. “And what I see is beautiful—a woman strong enough to carry Hell with you wherever you go. You hurt inside, yet you seek to make other people smile. You’ve been betrayed, yet you stand willing to understand why. You are beautiful, my mate. Inside and out. Alone in the shadows, you stood tall. Unbreakable.”
Kade presses a hand to my upper chest, urging me down until the white faux fur blanket cushions and caresses me. “Every scar you carry—inside and outside—is a testament to your beautiful soul. I want to claim you. Heart, body, soul—every way a man can possess a woman. I will have you too. Nothing will stop me. No risk is too great. Not my soul. Not my pride. Not the trust of every Alexander, living and dead. Nothing will stand in my way. Nothing. Do you understand me?”
Kade pushes away and undresses without waiting for my reply. He doesn’t slowly reveal his body. He doesn’t rush either. He takes off his shoes, socks, pants, and unbuttons his shirt with the cool, calculated demeanor of a man sure of himself and what he will acquire. Naked and powerful, Kade stands over me. Finally, almost reluctantly, he slips his focused stare from my face. Everywhere his gaze caresses, heat follows.
His body reacts to what he sees—the evidence of his approval growing with his hardening shaft. There’s no denying his desire or his lust. The raw, visceral emotions are as clear as the devotion from moments ago. Kade likes what he sees—scars and all.
Finally, he kneels. His cock rests against his rock-hard abs. His hands lay on his thighs. And his slow inspection takes in my every disfigurement, from my scars to my not so perky boobs and the signs of frequent hunger from my life on the run. By the time he reaches my face, his chest heaves, and the hunger displayed on his features quickens my pulse.
“Except you.” Kade takes my hand and draws me to my knees in front of him. “Only you have the power to stop me.”
Curling my fingers around Kade’s hands, I lean into him and kiss him. There are no words to describe the power he’s handed me. All I can do is show him what his gifts mean to me. His soul, his body, his heart, his honor—all these things are mine to hold and to treasure.
I touch him, exploring his body with the unhurried worship he deserves. The hard muscles under my fingertips tense and flex. It’s taking everything within him to remain still.
Sure of my guess, I slow my caress more and trace a featherlight path down his arms and over his strong hands. He’s killed with them. He’s also held my hand, undressed me, captured my tears, and led me out of the darkness. I link our hands and squeeze him while his taste and his scent and his warmth engulf me.
Desire builds with his lips on mine. Need spirals. Our teeth bang. Our tongues duel. Still he remains unmoving, letting me lead this moment. It’s sweet. It’s exactly what I need too. I flick his hands away and give myself over to the lust. With a firm grip, I fist the cock I want inside me and pump him until he’s thrusting into the circle of my fingers and eating at my mouth with a hunger I can’t match.
On a growled groan that reminds me the man in my arms is so much more than a simple lover, Kade covers my hand and tightens my fisted slide until I’m strangling him and tugging on his dick with a force that has him grunting and leaning over me. And just like that, my world tilts—physically and emotionally. He takes back the control he handed over. My opportunity to flip our roles remains within reach, however. I only need to seize it, and Kade’ll give it to me. The knowledge is something I don’t need to question. I feel the truth.
In this moment, however, I want nothing more than to feel Kade’s devotion.
He bends over me, and I arch backward. Only my fisted grip on Kade’s erection and my loose linked hand behind his neck stop me from tumbling back. And Kade keeps kissing me. Dizziness makes the world sway. I release his penis, and he lowers me to the soft blanket.
His hands explore me as painfully slowly as I did to him. My body screams for more. His barely there caresses don’t give it to me. I reach for him. He flicks my hands as I did his not long ago, then turns his attention to me. He touches every inch of me, from the faint white lines on my thighs to the ugly scars on my stomach. Nothing is left unloved.
“My beautiful, beautiful mate.” Kade whispers the praise a hairsbreadth above the wickedest scar stretching from my belly button lower and disappearing in the curls between my legs. Then his lips touch me. His tongue follows the path his fingers had, and he kisses me, every inch he’d touched.
Possessed by the Alpha Page 29