When he frowned and shook his head, about to speak, she cut him off with words that made no sense. That were downright impossible.
“Rokar.” She finally placed a hand on his arm. Her eyes stayed with his. “The storm that took your family from you was identical to the one I hit on my bike in Maine.”
Chapter Thirteen
THOUGH SHE FELT awful for intruding on Rokar’s thoughts and seeing such personal memories, she knew with certainty it had been necessary this time. Their dragons were trying to show them something. Maybe many things.
“I didn’t remember it until I sensed your guilt over the weather that day,” she went on. “But the colors I saw during the freak storm that stole your family were identical to what I saw before I traveled back in time...straight back to you.”
“A storm you claim matched my eyes,” he said darkly. “I don’t recall the storm that took my family matching my eyes.”
“Would you have really noticed something like that at such a terrifying time?” she said softly.
His troubled eyes lingered on hers for a moment before he scooped up a handful of pebbles as well, his gaze distant when he looked to the water. He didn’t speak right away, as he rolled the stones in his hand.
When he did eventually talk, he said more than she expected.
“My son loved storms,” he said softly. His gaze went to the sky as if he could see the memory he spoke about. “Helga even allowed me to take him flying once during a spring shower. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh so much...” A small smile curled his mouth but didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Which is telling because he laughed often.”
She felt his inner angst as if it were her own. How much he wanted to recapture that moment. To relive it over and over again. She understood because she had a few of those moments herself. Not to this degree but along the same lines.
“While I’m glad Bjárr and I had that experience together,” he continued, sadness obvious in his voice. “There are times I wish we had not.”
“Why?” Should she ask, though? Or was this too delicate a topic?
“Because of how he cried that same night.” When his forlorn eyes drifted to hers, she knew he didn’t really see her. “He cried because he would never be able to spread his wings like that. Never be a dragon flying alongside his father.”
So his son was human, which meant his wife had been too. Not sure what to say to comfort him, she rested her hand on his arm again, consequences be damned.
His eyes dropped to her hand and lingered before he looked to the lake and continued sharing. “His mother decided it would be best he not fly with me again after that.” He shook his head. “That Bjárr, no matter how much he might want to, should stay away from all things dragon related, including my lair. She didn’t like going there herself, so it made sense. Her request made sense...”
Did it? Tess wasn’t so sure. In her opinion, whether Bjárr was dragon or not, keeping him from such a big part of his father’s life seemed wrong. Sure, dragons could be scary, but from what she could tell Bjárr was raised in a village of Vikings that included a lot of dragon shifters. Half his damn family. And she knew full well each, and every one of them would have laid down their lives for Bjárr. Hell, she didn’t even know him, and she would have.
When Rokar frowned, and his eyes returned to her, she realized he must be sensing her frustration. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “I’m sure your wife was amazing. It's just hard for me...being a dragon and all.” Then she tossed in for good measure. “I mean we’re pretty great.”
And protectors by nature. But she kept that to herself. Because honestly, not all dragons were protectors. Some were utter assholes that destroyed everything in their path. She sighed. So maybe Helga was onto something after all.
“What happened earlier?” he said softly, likely sensing the turn of her thoughts. “Why did you wish to hunt then afterward grew upset?”
She shook her head, not nearly ready to talk about it. “I think we should focus on the magical storm that matches your eyes.”
“I think the only way we’re going to understand that storm better,” he countered, “is if we understand each other better.”
She knew he was right but still.
“I’m not ready.” She continued walking and skipped rocks. “I’ll let you know when I am.”
Which would never happen if she had her way.
“Tess.” He caught up. “We need to start somewhere.”
Easier said than done when she hadn’t told a soul about what happened to her.
“And we did start somewhere,” she replied. “With you and your memories.”
“Yes.” He took her elbow and stopped her, his eyes surprisingly compassionate when they met hers. “But there is more to us coming together than just my memories.” He glanced from the general direction of the woods where she’d felled the buck then back to her. “Just start there if you can, Tess...tell me about the buck.”
“You mean the man,” she murmured before she could stop herself. Something about the look in his eyes calmed her, grounded her, where even thinking about the monster who was her ex typically triggered the need to flee.
“Yes,” he said softly. “The man.”
She wished she’d brought her ale along for this, but the truth was funneling a damn keg wouldn’t help her. So she kept it brief.
“He was a bastard,” she said. “Not much more to it.”
“But there is more to it.” His tone remained gentle. “Much more.”
Their eyes held, and she considered what she was willing to share.
“You don't have to share much,” he murmured, evidently catching those thoughts. “I think for both of us, sharing a little will lead to sharing more as we...grow more comfortable.”
He was probably right. So she started with simply getting her ex’s name out of her mouth. A word she hadn’t uttered in nearly two years.
“Axle,” she ground out, her stomach sour. She recalled his dark, hateful eyes. “His name was Axle.” She inhaled deeply, oddly strengthened by the storminess in Rokar’s gaze. His instant dislike of the man. “I met him at a bar and liked his boldness. He knew what he wanted.” She shrugged. “Me.”
Tess kept walking, remembering. A random rock song had played in the background as she swung her hips on the dance floor, catching Axle’s attention before she made her way over to him and flirted shamelessly. She recalled thinking maybe she’d ride this one more than once. Maybe even a few times.
She shivered, wondering how she could have ever wanted that. Him. But then he ticked all her boxes. Tall, hot, and owned a beautiful bike. Check, check, check. Everything she wanted in a ‘for the moment’ guy. Because the truth was, she wasn’t into forever with men before Axle, never mind afterward.
“He had a cabin in the woods.” She kept skimming pebbles wishing they were blades and the lake was Axle’s face. “That’s where I learned how to hunt in human form.” She shook her head. “I never liked it, but I wanted to...”
When she trailed off, Rokar seemed to understand. “You wanted to impress him, yes?”
“Yeah, I guess.” She sighed. “A lot at one point.” She shook her head again. “I don’t know what happened to me because I’m not that kind of girl. Men can take me or leave me, simple as that. I don’t need to kill animals to earn their approval. Just somehow...I dunno...” She tossed aside her pebbles and crouched facing the shore. “I guess I fell for him and got stupid.”
Until she learned who he really was. But she definitely wasn't ready to share that.
“We do strange things for those we love.” He crouched beside her. “I shut my kin out telepathically.” He shook his head. “They would say that happened after I lost my family and was grieving, but in truth, I did it beforehand to please Helga.”
Determined to keep aggravation at bay, she tried for a teasing grin. “So she wanted you all to herself, eh?”
Tess got it. She would too. The only diffe
rence is she wouldn’t have asked it of him because she knew how important it was for dragons to feel their kin brush their minds. It connected them in a way words could not.
“I think she felt left out,” he murmured. “And I understood that.”
“Couldn’t she be included?” She frowned. “I know that can happen between humans and dragons and even a dragon’s kin.”
“She didn’t want to be.” He tossed aside his own pebbles. “Unfortunately, she did not enjoy the sensation of...talking that way. She thought it felt unnatural.”
Really? Every human she’d talked to who had experienced it loved it. Which made her wonder if Helga asking that of him wasn’t one more way to separate her and Bjárr from dragons. His family. While she wanted to reach back in time and smack the woman upside the head for not getting over herself and enjoying how amazing he sounded within the mind, it was better to focus on the good stuff.
“How did you and Helga meet, anyway?” She began walking again. “Or did you grow up together?”
He seemed relieved to speak of lighter things as he joined her. “I met Helga when visiting an allied tribe.” The corner of his mouth inched up. “She was dancing the first time I saw her.”
How ironic. “Do you like dancing then?”
“I did after I met her.” His crooked grin grew a little. “I was very clumsy, but she didn’t seem to mind.”
“Clumsy?” She chuckled. “But you’re a dragon! We’re the epitome of grace.”
“In dragon form,” he agreed. “But I was not so graceful in human form.”
She arched her brows and eyed him. “So you dance well now?”
“I dance...less poorly.”
She chuckled again, detecting a bit of humor lurking beneath all his baggage. “So you saw Helga dancing. Then what?”
“I waited until she was done dancing then approached her.” His gaze went to the trees swaying in the wind. “She continually tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, but the wind kept blowing it across her face as she smiled at me for the first time.” He absently rubbed his fingers together as though he remembered what her hair felt like. “Eventually, I tucked it back for her.”
“Funny the things we remember,” Tess murmured, rubbing her fingers together as well. “I recall the feel of Axle’s leather jacket, the scent of cigar smoke clinging to it. That was my first thought when we finally started chatting. He smoked cigars, and I smoked cigarettes...bad combo...mostly cuz I hate the smell of cigars.” She shook her head and spoke without thinking. “I should’ve known then we were a match made in Hell.”
“I don’t smoke anything,” he divulged, wonderfully frank. “But I enjoy drinking.”
“Me too,” she echoed then relented. “Though I might’ve leaned on it a little too heavily lately.” She shrugged a shoulder, not about to apologize. “Or not. Who knows.”
“We all cope with things how we will.” He sounded unapologetic. “I have barely spoken to my kin over the past two years and as you know, shut them out entirely telepathically...until recently.”
“Right,” she said. “Because of me?”
“So it seems,” he conceded. “Yours was the first voice I’ve heard in my head in a long time. Once that happened, it seemed natural to allow my kin back in.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” she said. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I busted into your mind without permission.” She met his eyes, guilty though she had no choice. “I had no control over it.”
“You mean your dragon took over?”
“I assume so,” she replied. “Considering we’re supposedly fated mates, right?”
He nodded and looked at her with hesitation, clearly wondering if he should say what he was thinking.
“What is it, Rokar?” she asked. When he started to shake his head, she urged him on. “You’re the one who said we needed to start somewhere so don’t hold back.”
He hesitated another moment before he relented. “I did not mind.”
“Didn’t mind what?” she prompted when he didn’t go on.
Struggling, he finally said, “You...”
She almost grinned. Was he being bashful? “Me?”
“Yes, you,” he stated bluntly.
She couldn’t help another chuckle while she tried to draw him out. “Me, what, Rokar?”
“You.” He sighed and looked at her like she should know what he was talking about. “I was glad you entered my mind without permission.”
He went to say more but snapped his mouth shut, evidently finished sharing. At least in this regard.
“I’m glad too,” she revealed and meant it. “I like the feel of you within my mind.”
The minute she said it she regretted it mostly because it sounded like she was undermining Helga and she hadn’t meant to do that.
“You do?”
His question caught her off guard. “Of course.”
Had Helga rattled his confidence that badly? While typically she’d find that unattractive in a man, preferring a tough-as-nails sort, she knew deep down Rokar was plenty tough. He was just wounded and vulnerable in a way she understood. So she stopped and told him something a woman should have told him long before her. She gave it to him straight.
In fact, her dragon gave it to him even straighter.
“You sound fucking amazing in a woman’s mind, Rokar,” she said. “Your inner voice is wanna-spread-my-thighs-for-you sexy as shit, and your essence is wrap-around-the soul warm fuzzies, all ‘the feels,’ protective. Not to mention—”
That’s all she got out before he proved he did, in fact, possess a good deal of confidence.
He yanked her close and kissed her hard.
Chapter Fourteen
WHILE HE COULD say his dragon was to blame, it was entirely his human half at work when Rokar finally did what he had wanted to do since he laid eyes on Tess. He kissed her. And Loki’s Hel her lips were as soft as they looked and tasted just as sweet.
He wrapped his hand into her hair roughly and growled into her mouth, seeking out her tongue while he took without asking. He had always held back with women, especially Helga, but his dragon wouldn’t allow it with Tess. It wanted her with a violent need he barely recognized.
So violent that he pulled away abruptly.
Breathing heavily, she stared at him wide-eyed, her lips dark pink from his roughness, from his carelessness.
“Loki’s cock.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, woman.”
He strode back toward the others, not sure what else to do. For a moment, he sensed her in his mind, then she was gone. As though she were going to say something but thought better of it. Which made him think better of it, too. He should say something. Confront this. Let her know it would not happen like that again.
So he turned back only for her to stride right by him.
“C’mon, handsome,” she chirped, gesturing that he follow. “If you don’t wanna play anymore let’s get back.”
He sighed, realizing her overly flirtatious nature was back...which was interesting because he still seemed level.
“The kiss pulled you away,” he stated.
Tess stopped and tossed her hair over her shoulder seductively as she looked back at him. “That kiss did no such thing, sweetheart.” She sauntered back looking him up and down all the while. “In fact, I’m up for another if you are.”
“Not like that.”
“Why not like that?” Tess licked her lips. “I kinda liked it.” She peered up through her thick black lashes, her cedar eyes afire in the dying sun, her words a purr. “Didn’t you, dragon?”
He clenched his fists to keep from grabbing her and showing her just how much he had enjoyed it. How much he wanted to toss her to the ground, rip her clothes off, and take her so hard, they both went up in flames.
That’s when he realized he was being played for a fool because he wouldn’t think these thoughts of her current personality. He would think them of the other.
The Tess he
just kissed.
“You are pretending,” he said softly, shaking his head, not sure how he was supposed to feel. “Why are you pretending?”
“Not sure what you’re talking about,” she murmured, fiddling with one of the small braids woven into his goatee. Her eyes stayed with his, convincingly innocent, with just the right amount of flirtatiousness. “You all right, love?”
She thought to flat out lie to him? Though he knew she likely did it because she feared something, he couldn’t help but give her a taste of her own medicine. If for no other reason than to see how long she held out.
So he blinked several times as though ripped from one personality to another, clamped her wrist and dished out a smile that came far too easily. “I am all right, woman.” Better than he’d been in some time. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. “And eager to get back to where we left off.”
Her pupils flared in distress, and she started to shake her head before she figured him out, narrowed her eyes and muttered, “Ass.”
Yet she wasn’t pushing him away, any more than he was stepping back now that he had proven his point. Instead, they stilled and stared at one another, their hearts slamming with anticipation.
“Tess,” Sage called out, interrupting the moment when she rounded the corner on the shore ahead. She stopped short when she saw them. “Oh, shoot, bad timing...”
“No, it’s okay,” Tess called out. Her eyes lingered on his for another moment before she pulled away and headed for her sister. “What’s up?”
“We’re leaving and wanted to say goodbye.”
He could hear the frown in Tess’s voice. “So soon?”
I’m afraid so,” Sage said as they joined her. “Sven wants all the preggies where he can keep a close eye on us.”
“Smart man.” Tess embraced her sister. “So the others are staying, then? Shea?”
“Yup.” Sage winked at Tess and pulled away. “Until our future Cupid niece or nephew beats his or her first heartbeat, Shea's all yours.”
Tess grinned. “I’ll keep my ears perked for a heartbeat then.”
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