Adam tipped his hat to Dani and said, “Ma’am,” then looked at Keith and Jake and added, “Gentlemen, I’d best be on my way. I’m going back home for a couple of weeks.”
“Where’s home, son?’ asked Jake.
“Used to be out in California in a little place called Westmoreland,” said Adam. “But about four years ago, my folks moved to Texas. As soon as they figured out I was going to be good enough to make a little money out here, they figured home base should be somewhere in the middle of the country, not way over in California.”
“Really?” asked Dani. “Whereabouts?”
“Place called Decatur,” answered Adam. “You folks know where that is?”
“Hell, we’re practically neighbors.” Jake slapped Adam’s arm. “That’s right down the road from us; we live in Childress.”
“I know,” said Adam. He paused for a moment as if he was gathering up some courage, then stuttered a bit as he asked, “Mr.…Mr. O’Brien…I…know…you…you probably get asked this all the time, and I really, really don’t want you to think I’m inviting myself, but…”
Dani was already into her purse looking for a pen as she cut him off, “You want to come on up to the ranch and practice with Jake?”
“Yes…yes, I would,” answered Adam with a gleam in his eyes. “I’d love that.”
“What do you think, Jake?” asked Dani, still fumbling through her purse.
Under any other circumstances, Jake would have turned the kid down flat. He even smiled as the image of Willie Butler lying in the hospital bed flashed through his mind, but there was something about the way Adam Torres stood there and looked at him that Jake couldn’t refuse. He could hardly believe he said it, but the words out of his mouth were, “Sure, why not? Might do this old man some good to show the new kid on the block how it’s done.”
Dani grabbed a beverage napkin off the bar and started writing down the address to their ranch. Seconds later, she was handing it to Adam. “Why don’t you come up next Saturday. Jake’s not roping again for three weeks. You can stay as long as you like.”
“Thank you…thank you very much,” gushed Adam, holding the napkin in his hand like it was the most important thing in the world. “What time?”
“I like to start working early,” said Jake, “around seven?”
“I’ll be there at six,” said Adam eagerly. He shook Jake’s hand vigorously as he added, “Thank you. I’ll see y’all then.” He turned and walked out of the restaurant, but let out a loud, “yeah!” before he stepped out the door.
“That was a nice kid,” said Keith.
“Yeah, I like him,” added Dani.
“We’ll see,” said Jake, finishing off the last of his beer. He ordered a double Jack and Coke from the bartender as he laughed and added, “They’re all nice at first, then after a while the only thing they want to do is take your money from you.”
Dani grimaced as she watched Jake switch from beer to liquor and knew then that chances were good they would wind up closing down the bar. She matched Jake shot for shot when it came to tequila, but she nursed her beers, knowing it was just a matter of time before the Jack Daniels would start taking its toll on Jake and she would have to be very careful what she did or said. Two hours later, Dani was on full alert because Jake was getting really drunk. Again.
“Well, Keith,” said Jake. He had been talking about Bear for the last hour or so, and the greater effect the alcohol had on him, the more Jake worried about how he was going to come up with the money to pay for his new horse. Dani only listened because she didn’t want to say anything that might set Jake off.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” asked Jake. Keith just shrugged and took another sip of beer as Jake continued, “I mean, I could take a loan out on the ranch, but that would suck.” Jake thought about it for a few moments, then sat up straight on his barstool as a light went off in his head. “I know, why don’t you buy half, and I’ll buy half. We’ll split all the money I make riding him until I get you paid off.”
“That ain’t going to work,” said Keith. He tipped the underside of his brim so his hat sat toward the back of his head and pointed his right forefinger into the air as he added, “First off, I ain’t got fifty thousand laying around doing nothing. And second, even if I did, I’d want more than just to get my money back.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Jake looked around the restaurant for a moment before adding, “Maybe we can auction him off.”
“What do you mean?” asked Keith.
“I’m going to the restroom.” Dani got off her barstool. She held up her hands as if to say she didn’t want anything to do with whatever they were planning and added, before she grabbed her purse and walked off around the bar, “I’m out of this.”
Jake glanced around the restaurant once more and waved his palm at all the people in the place as he said, “Look at all the rodeo people in here. There’s Brian Palmer over there; he’s got money. There’s another gold buckle winner over there, Tom Spry. He’s got money, too. Hell, there’s lots of guys in here that might want to get in on a deal like this.”
Jake glanced at Keith, then looked down at the microphone at the hostess stand. A huge grin flitted across Jake’s face. “What if I go get Bear out of the trailer and bring him inside, and you get on that microphone and start auctioning him off. It’ll be fun. What do you say?”
A smile crept over Keith’s face. “I bet nobody’s ever tried anything like this before.”
“They’ll be talking about it for a while,” exclaimed Jake. He stood and started walking outside.
“Hey, you still have a tab,” yelled the bartender.
“I’ll be right back,” said Jake, making his way to the front door.
Keith waited a few minutes for Jake to get Bear out of the trailer, then made his way down to the hostess stand and grabbed the microphone again as the hostess meekly gave way. “Can I get everyone’s attention, everyone, please. I have something I want to say.” He smiled at all the people who turned and watched to see what was about to take place. Soon the restaurant fell silent.
“Keith, what the hell is so important you got to interrupt my drinking for?” called a cowboy from the back.
Laughter spread through the room before Keith answered, “Well, you folks know Jake O’Brien is a good friend of mine and, well, you see, he’s got a little problem.”
“Yeah, his ego,” another cowboy shouted.
The manager walked up to the hostess stand, apprehensive about the whole situation, but let Keith continue nonetheless. “You see, Jake’s got this fantastic new horse he needs to pay for, but he ain’t real sure how he’s gonna go about it.”
“Tell him cash usually works. He’s got plenty of that,” yelled someone else.
Keith let the laughter die down before he continued, “So what Jake decided to do is he wants to auction off interests in his new horse to any of you rich sons of bitches who are interested.”
The look on the manager’s face made it clear he wasn’t happy with Keith’s last choice of words, so Keith immediately added, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. What I meant to say is, for any of you rich SOB’s that are interested.”
“How can we buy into something that we haven’t seen?” asked a cowboy from the bar.
Keith pointed at the man and answered, “My good man, I have an excellent answer to that question.” He turned his attention to the front door and added just as Jake came back into the building, leading Bear by the bridle, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jake O’Brien and his magnificent horse, Bear.”
Everyone in the building started howling as Jake brought his horse into the building and stopped by the hostess stand.
As if on cue, Bear turned sideways, blocking both doors, but it gave everyone in the building a chance to see his entire profile. There was no doubt Bear was a beautiful animal. His shiny, jet-black coat was impressive enough, but the white stockings on all four of his legs that went from
his knees to his hooves made his appearance striking. Impressive or not, however, nobody could leave or enter because the horse was now blocking the entire front entrance. The manager was furious and stormed away from the hostess stand toward his office in the very back of the building, no doubt to make a phone call.
“So, listen up,” said Keith as soon as the laughter abated, “Jake needs a hundred thousand to buy this horse, so who wants to start the bidding?”
“I got twenty bucks,” shouted a cowboy at a nearby table. He stood, reached into his wallet, pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, wadded it up and threw it at the feet of Jake’s horse as everyone started laughing again. In an instant, there was a swarm of twenties flying through the air from just about every person in the building. Jake had been in plenty of strip clubs that never had as much money on the stage that was suddenly underneath his horse.
Bear was taking all the commotion in stride. He stood still and so far had only moved to look around but, without warning, he suddenly lifted his tail and defecated all over the polished wooden floor.
“Looks like Jake’s new horse is just as full of shit as he is,” said Keith over the mic. The laughter was deafening.
Dani came out of the bathroom area, immediately dumbstruck at the scene. The laughter died in an instant, however, when everyone’s attention was drawn to the flashing blue-and-red lights atop the two Houston police cars that raced into the parking lot and came to a screeching halt right outside the front doors.
“Oh, crap,” said Dani as she wove her way between tables on her way to where Jake stood. She got to Jake shortly after the cops did.
“Oh, hey, honey, where you been?” asked Jake as he wobbled a bit by his horse. As Dani stepped up beside him, Jake looked at both officers and added, “Fellas, this here’s my wife, Dani. We was just having a little fun auctioning off my horse.”
“Ma’am,” one of them said as he nodded his head. He glanced at his partner as he asked, “You ever see this kind of thing before?”
“Hell, I ain’t never heard of this kind of thing before,” the other policeman answered.
They shook their heads in amazement as Dani asked, “What the hell are you doing, Jake? Look at what have you’ve gotten us into now.”
Ignoring Dani for the moment, the same officer looked at Jake and said, “Sir, first thing we need to do is get this horse out of here. Can you do that for me?”
“Sure thing,” said Jake, trying to quickly sober up. His right boot almost went out from underneath him as he stepped on one of the many twenty-dollar bills surrounding him on the floor, but he quickly regained his balance and proceeded to lead Bear back out of the restaurant, followed by Keith and one of the policemen.
“Look, Officer…Pate,” said Dani, squinting at the name tag on the front of his neatly pressed uniform. “What do I need to do to clean this situation up?” She looked around her at all the money laying on the floor and, for the first time, noticed all the other people in the place were minding their own business like they hadn’t seen a thing.
“Good choice of words,” answered the officer with a slight grin, “but it looks like that manager standing right over there is mad as hell.” He glanced down at the pile of horse manure on the floor, then pointed to a young Mexican kid carrying glasses to the kitchen area before he looked back at Dani. “Maybe you could make it worth that busboy’s while to get over here pronto and get this cleaned up.”
Dani reached into her purse and pulled out two hundred-dollar bills before saying, “I’ll be right back.” In less than a minute, her task was complete and she was back standing next to the officer. “What else do I need to do?” she asked.
Officer Pate took a deep breath and sighed as he looked at all the money on the floor. He glanced at Dani and said, “I’m going to go outside and talk to my partner for a minute. Why don’t you pick all this money up and meet me out there?”
“Yes, sir, will do.” Dani quickly went to her hands and knees, spending the next three or four minutes crawling around the hostess stand picking up money. She crammed the bills into her open purse as she went. The people watching had no idea why, but when she was about half-finished, a smile slowly came to her face, soon replaced by a hearty laugh. Everyone who was paying attention started laughing as well. They all assumed it was because of the scene playing out in front of them, but that wasn’t the case. She was laughing because the thought occurred to her that this was what it must feel like to be a stripper picking up her money on stage. Not only was it funny to her, but it was also exciting because, as she stood after picking up the last bill on the floor, a cowboy at the bar stood, let out a loud whistle, and started clapping. In a flash, just about everyone else joined in. Dani was surprised at first, but a smile quickly appeared on her face as she waved back to the crowd. She curtsied once, then spun around on one boot and walked out the front door to see what the police were going to do.
Both policemen were talking to Jake and Keith, who by now had returned to the front of the building after putting Bear back into his trailer. They were both signing their names to a couple of rodeo magazines. Jake was pictured on the cover of one while Keith was pictured on the other.
“What the hell were you two thinking, trying to pull off a stunt like that?” asked Officer Pate.
“We were just having a little fun,” answered Jake with a shrug.
“Well, I don’t know how we’re going to be able settle this,” said the other officer as he took the signed magazine from Jake. He looked down at the two signatures on his memento before adding, “We really appreciate the autographs, and I gotta tell you, that’s some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen in there, but that manager really wants to press charges. I don’t know how we can’t take you two boys in.”
Jake rubbed his chin for a moment, then eyed the money crammed into Dani’s purse. He looked at Officer Pate and said, “I got an idea.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Well, you boys could always let us go,” said Jake as he rubbed his hands together.
“I don’t know…” started Officer Pate.
“Hear me out…hear me out,” said Jake. He lifted his hat to scratch the top of his head, and added. “Can’t you boys let us go, then charge us later if you can’t get that manager in there to calm down?”
“Yeah,” chimed in Keith. “You two look like you can talk some sense into him.”
“After he calms down,” added Jake.
“How are we going to arrest you after we already let you go?” asked the other officer.
“By keeping the evidence,” answered Jake.
“You want us to keep the horse shit?” asked Officer Pate with a laugh. “That ain’t gonna happen.”
“No…no…no,” answered Jake, grinning. He pointed at the money crammed into Dani’s purse and added, “That’s evidence right there, isn’t it?”
The officers looked at each other as Keith added, “Looks like evidence to me. I wouldn’t blame you boys a bit if you bagged that up, then used it against us in a court of law if that manager can’t seem to get over himself.”
Officer Pate looked at his partner and asked, “What do you think?”
“We could give it a try,” answered his partner. “I mean, if it’s okay by you.”
They all stood there looking at each other for a moment before Officer Pate finally shrugged and said, “All right, we’ll give it a try.”
Together, Dani, Jake and Keith shouted in relief, “Thank you.”
“Tell you what,” said the other policeman as he pointed at Dani. “Why don’t you walk around and get in the back seat of my squad car so we can get that evidence taken care of without too many people seeing it. If we’re not careful, folks might think you’re giving us a bribe.”
“Oh, no, we wouldn’t do anything like that,” Dani said, stepping around the car to the rear passenger door.
The policeman followed and opened the door for her as he said, “Tell you what. Why don’
t you take all that evidence and just set it on the back seat there.”
“Sure thing,” answered Dani as she sat down and started unloading the bills out of her purse. Quickly, there was a small pile of crumpled bills stacked on the seat next to her. Dani then got out of the squad car and walked back to Jake and Keith. Jake shook Officer Pate’s hand as Dani walked up and said, “I want to thank you two fellas. I’ll give you my word we’ll never try that again.”
Keith stepped in and shook the officer’s hand as he added, “At least not here in Houston.”
The officers laughed, but quickly turned serious as the manager stepped out of the restaurant and started marching over to where they were standing. As he approached, Officer Pate looked at Jake and said, “I suggest you all get the hell out of here, now.”
He didn’t have to say it twice. They bolted for their vehicles and didn’t turn back around to see what was going to happen, even though they could clearly hear the people inside the restaurant erupt in a cheer as the manager yelled above the noise, “What the hell is going on? Where the hell are they going?”
* * *
“Jake, why don’t you pull over and let me drive?” asked Dani from the passenger seat.
“No, no, I’m good.” Jake closed one eye to keep the road ahead of him from appearing double. He glanced at Dani and added, “Sure could use some of that nose candy right now, though.”
“The last of that went up your nose yesterday,” stated Dani. “Remember? You stayed up partying in Keith’s trailer until two in the morning.” She sighed as she added, “I swear, I’ll never understand how you can party that hard, wake up at three in the afternoon, and immediately pour yourself a double bloody Mary, then go out and win a major event two hours later.”
Jake laughed and slurred his words, “Some people say it’s a gift.”
Dani was not amused as she looked out the side window and whispered, “Or a curse.” Her attention was quickly brought back to Jake’s driving as he swerved across the center stripes again. “Jake, you’re not good. Please let me drive!” yelled Dani. She pleaded again, “You’ve been swerving a little ever since we left Houston an hour ago, but now it’s getting bad. You’re going to get us killed.” She threw her arms in the air as she added, “Would you please listen to me? There’s no way you’re ever going to make it to Childress.”
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