I was prepared for the amount of pain I would have to go through. I shut my eyes slowly and inhaled a deep breath and tried to regain my energy. And when I opened them, I miraculously felt gathered and collected. It was unexpected though this was the exact thing I needed. I felt it’s all in the mind. When you are scared in your head, you tend to surrender easily but if you decide to fight, you chuck out the option of giving up. My decision had fuelled my body and I was ready to fight back.
I was lying on the floor. Jackal had my hands tightly pinned down and Lion was coming towards me. Just then I burst out into laughter. Both Jackal and Lion were taken aback for a moment. They stopped for a minute and frowned at me. Then Lion came over and kicked me. I cringed but I could feel no more pain because I had already suffered so much. I had hit the plateau where nothing could be felt.
I laughed again but this time much louder.
‘Seems she has gone mad,” Jackal scowled doubtfully.
“Sure she has,” Lion replied scratching his forehead. They were not able to comprehend the reason behind my sudden fits of laughter
It was very clear. No rapist expects his victim to laugh. All they expect from their victim is to cry, beg and give up on the spot.
“You think I have gone mad? You fool! Hahahaha,” I mocked at them. The pain that was twisting my body with angst was now suppressed with a huge grin.
They were getting suspicious and worried too. And it was quite understandable. Usually it should be the hunter who laughs but certainly not the prey. But the scenario was flipped here.
“She is making a fool out of us, Jack. If she thinks she can save herself, let’s show her she is wrong.”
“I am not wrong and I am surely not thinking of saving myself either. I will die even if you leave me unharmed” I barked.
They stopped again and thought for a moment. After few minutes, it was Jackal who spoke. He was still gripping my hands.
“How?”
“You said you had overheard our conversation in the parking lot. So if you recall it, you’ll remember that my husband told me to take care of my health and to get sufficient rest. We even talked about my health report, remember?” I said carefully. Calling out Rajat’s name out loud hurt as I wanted him to be with me so badly.
“Yeah! I remember. So?”
“You both came here because you thought I’d be alone, so that you could pleasure yourselves right? You wanted to rape a woman who was alone at home but you forgot that the woman is also unhealthy. Did it even occur to you, even for a second, as to what I am suffering from? What possibly could be the reason behind my weak health? Why we both are worried about my health report? Did any of these flash your tiny minds at all?” I spoke out with such confidence that they listened intently. I made them follow my words. Jackal still had my arms pinned while Lion zipped up his jeans.
“What do you want to say, you bitch?” Jackal asked. I could sense discomfort landing on them very slowly. Lion stood silent, waiting for the conversation to happen.
“I just want to say that I–may-be-HIV-positive!” I blurted out the words. “It can be easily spread by touching, kissing and intercourse. In short, physical contact acts as a conduit for this disease to spread. It means that you may have also been infected by now because you had bitten me,” I said stressing on the word HIV positive. There was a minute-long silence in the room.
“Oh, really! And do you think we will fall into your trap?” Jackal played smartly.
I smiled while my eyes lit up with confidence. “Okay. Don’t believe me. Carry on and get this disease as a good night gift from me,” and I chuckled.
My confidence had made an impact and slowly Jackal let go of my arms. He hurriedly crawled back. Lion too took a few steps backwards. I was relieved to get my hands freed from the tight grip. I sat up slowly but my body was still aching. I rubbed my wrists to soothe them. Jackal’s tight grip had left finger marks on them. It was good to sit after a long time but the weakness was still there. Lion thought a little and then leaned over me; staring straight into my eyes, thinking I might backtrack from my stand but I wasn’t going to.
“You are lying. Right?”
“No, I am not,” I read his facial expressions and could see the terror floating in his eyes.
“I said I am not sure. After suffering for about a month and after so many tests done, we got no results. In the end, I gave my blood sample, say for the hundredth time,” my forehead creased, “for the HIV test and that is exactly the report we are waiting for,” I said with a worried expression.
“So you mean you are not sure whether you are HIV positive? You may not be infected with the bacteria?” Lion said standing straight with one hand on his waist and other hand on his lips.
I skipped the part of ensuring them with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I straight away jumped to the part they could fear the most.
“Umm… firstly it’s a retrovirus not a bacterium. But if I am positive, it means you,” I turned to Jackal, “are also coming to hell with me.”
Jackal’s face turned white and his eyes opened wide in horror. His mouth fell open at such a revelation.
“And what about me?” Lion chimed in, almost instantly. My facts were bothering him.
“I am not sure. But you have also touched me. Touching also spread the virus. So you too may be carrying some chances of infection.” Now I got the idea of their minimal awareness towards HIV and AIDS. I decided to use it to my advantage. Touching and sitting beside an HIV positive person can never infect you. An infected person can infect you through a blood transfusion, sex or a bloody scratch. But the two were unaware of these facts. My words affected them just as I thought. Fear was brewing in the air.
“But I didn’t come in contact with you!” Lion said throwing his hands up in panic.
“Yes, you did, Lion. You were holding my legs too tightly. A dinky scratch from my toe nails is enough for the infection.”
Jackal had been silent all the while. Then he spoke.
“Okay, if you are telling the truth why are you so upset? You should be happy since according to you, we are also going to die with you.”
I shook my head at his idiocy.
“I am going to die either way, you idiot. I love my family more than anything in this world and I will have to leave it behind. You think I can be happy with this?” I said in a disgusted tone. I secretly glanced at Sejal who was listening to our entire conversation. From her face, I could tell that she didn’t understand anything. She was just moving her head and watching our faces as we talked.
“Hmm. Well… let me check your facts then. If you are HIV positive, you must be having symptoms?”
“Yes I do have them all. Bouts of high fever and cough, joint pain and so many more. You can Google the HIV symptoms on your mobile. At least this time you’ll use it for a good cause,” I rolled my eyes with clear sarcasm.
Lion looked at me suspiciously while Jackal, who had heeded my words, got busy with his phone. It wasn’t a usual rape situation. The scene was twisted and going in an unknown direction. I looked at Sejal who looked frightened. I wanted to hug her but all I could do was smile. I had to wait for the right time. She had heard that her mother was going to die. She looked at me questioningly. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she began to bawl. Hearing the news of her mother dying had shocked her. She wasn’t supposed to listen to the conversation. I couldn’t help but wince in my place. I said sorry and told her to be quiet but she continued sobbing quietly.
I put my face between my knees as I thought of my future.
“If you are lying, let me tell you one thing,” Lion’s aggression was apparent. “You will suffer more than you can ever imagine. The night will turn out to be your worst nightmare. Mind it.”
“Oh really? But what if I am telling you the truth, Lion?” I said trying to stand up simultaneously but Lion pushed me back on the floor.
“Ouch!” I groaned.
Just then Jackal spoke up. “Lion! I think
you need to look at this.”
“What do you mean, Jack?” Lion went to him and stared at the mobile screen for a couple of minutes. They looked at each other. Their faces became pale.
“Whatever she is saying about this heck HIV, it’s true. She has the exact symptoms as HIV patients,” Jackal said to Lion in a horrified tone. Lion froze where he was. They stood there for a few minutes in a state of shock. They had not even bothered to go through all the facts, fortunately for me.
It was now too much for them to take. They had never imagined such repugnant situation before barging into my house. I could make out that they were very scared. They began whispering to each other probably deciding the next course of action. I was worried and sure that even if they believed my words, they wouldn’t spare me and Sejal both. I knew too much about them. They were left with no option but to kill us both in the end. Surely I could not let that happen.
I realised I’d soon have to find some means of escape. I was indeed carrying symptoms of an HIV patient but that was incongruous to think about at this moment. Saving both of us was the biggest necessity of this time.
“But if you are HIV positive, aren’t you supposed to be isolated in some hospital, not living like this in your house?” Jackal said, trying to find a loophole.
“I haven’t received my reports yet. Doctors had warned me in advance. But a patient gets isolated only in his or her last stage which commonly known as AIDS, Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome. Patients diagnosed with AIDS are kept isolated, unlike me who is in primary state,” I said in a matter of fact tone.
“I have a family and very little time too. Chances are that I will die soon but I don’t want to die before I actually die. I want to spend the remaining time with my family. Please leave both of us,” I pleaded as tears welled up in my eyes.
Jackal stared at my pleading face and pondered for a minute. He smiled cunningly and said.
“Okay! We are not sure how true your facts are but if you are right, even by the slightest chance, then I believe at least I can carry on with you because as you said I am already infected by now, right? As I am going to die too, I could not think of why I should stop myself from having fun with you. Right, sweetheart?” He smiled and tilted his face to one side. He sauntered towards me.
Lion was still standing away and it did not seem like he was going to come close anytime soon. He was protecting himself in such a way as though every particle present in the air would infect him. He was the boss but he proved to be the weaker link of the two.
‘Touché. Smart move,’ I thought. As I racked my brains, I was seized by a coughing fit, After coughing profusely, I wiped the saliva around my bruised lips.
“Really? You are still in the same mood? Incredible,” I said standing up even though I was feeling weak. The effect of medicine was coming to an end. But I had to continue the conversation for as long as possible. I needed time to think. Lion took a step towards me but quickly stepped back again. My words had worked well on him. He was gradually losing his confidence. I turned to Jackal.
“If you put your tiny mind at work, I said you may be are infected. There is not 100% surety. If you are not infected, you’ll get to live.”
I threw another roll of dice. The retort was a good one but it was a leap in the dark. Along with it, I had to watch out for the selection of my words because of Sejal. She would certainly grow curious afterwards, if I got to save us somehow. That was why I was using polite words as much as possible. Words like sex, rape, intercourse etc, are unknown in her world. But I couldn’t help myself much. My answer had put Jackal on hold and I could see that he was thinking hard. For a moment I paused, trying to collect strength from within. Then I continued.
“You know when I went for the HIV test, I was scared. I read all I could find about HIV and AIDS. If a person is found to be HIV positive, it means that the virus has entered into the body but it’s lying in an inactive stage. But the virus can activate at any moment. It may be the very next moment of the infection, a week after, or maybe five or ten years after. No one can be sure about the activation time. But once the virus is active, it will gradually start taking you down. It will multiply itself unimaginably fast and will take over your active body cells. This will weaken your immune system followed by several symptoms like bouts of joint pain, fever, cough and sore throat; symptoms that I am having right now. This is called the primitive stage of AIDS.”
“The virus responsible for all this is known as retrovirus and is found in high numbers at the primary stage. It makes the infected person highly infectious to others. I’d be in this stage if I am positive and hopefully, you both would be too. AIDS leads to a very painful death. No one has survived till now. You will be isolated from rest of the world; no one would be able see you or visit you. Others will treat as you are a walking statue of disease. It will be like dying every nano second before actual death comes with its sprawled arms. ”
To add more effect to my words, I retched out some more details. “Later the person may develop complicated AIDS symptoms. And how does an AIDS patient die? You must be having a fair idea. Many movies have been made on it. You can watch them only if you get to live.”
I was standing close to the room window. There were few books kept on the shelves nearby. I picked up a few of them and hurled them across the room in disgust. I started crying, shouting and cursing my destiny for giving me such a lethal disease. I managed to throw a few books out of the window hoping that someone would notice the ruckus. The sudden violence scared the two and they stared at me quietly. They stood in the corner, scared about their futures.
They looked at each other for few seconds. Then their eyes turned towards me. They were listening to my story with rapt attention much like children listen to their grandmothers’ tales. I could see that their faces were covered in sweat and the fear in their eyes was apparent.
I continued my babbling.
“There are advanced fourth generation tests that can be done in some countries to detect HIV that includes measuring the combination of P24 antigen test. This is done along with a standard HIV antibody test. This treatment is much more effective. But I had given only the standard HIV antibody test. The presence of antibodies in the blood helps you to detect the disease. The result will come in a few days”, I said looking at them. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. The scientific words gave much needed weight and lent an authentic sound to my words.
Simultaneously I looked for some way to get out of the room with Sejal. It was dawn now. I could feel the sun rays giving a shot of warmth to the last night’s chilly breeze. My neighbours would be awake in an hour I knew. I was running short of time. I had to do something soon.
Chewing over the facts, Jackal and Lion looked at each other. I knew my words had sunk in but Jackal was not ready to give up.
“You are lying, I know you bitch! We are not calling your bluff. It’ll be better if you tell us the truth,” Jackal hissed.
“I am certainly not lying. I have told you whatever I know. Now it’s up to you to decide.” I enunciated every last word of my last statement. I was seized by another coughing fit. It happened because of my sore throat. My eyes reddened and bulged out. My body ached. I moaned with all of my strength. Jackal and Lion looked perplexed at my state. They wiped the sweat from their faces.
“Both of you will be dead sooner or later. Then the destiny will reunite us and that’s when I will take my revenge. You both come with me to hell and then I will deal with you,” and I let out a hollow chuckle but with sad eyes.
By this time, Lion and Jackal were completely under the influence of my words. They were thinking of their lives rather than mine
“What should we do now, Lion?” Jackal’s panic stricken words came out.
“Hell, John! What should I say?” Lion said restlessly, banging his head.
“It was your idea, Kunal… damn it! You are to blame for this mess. It was you who said to have fun this way. Now we are screw
ed with this heck HIV or whatever. Now you tell me what to do next.”
I looked at them in disbelief. They finally believed me and they had also called out each other’s real names in panic. The tall guy was Kunal and the other was John. They seemed to realise this at the same moment. They were indeed hiding their true identities to get away with their act. But ironically, their careful planning was falling apart piece by piece.
Lion shouted at Jackal in disgust. “Like you are a saint… huh! And now she knows our real names too. She knows too much about us now. Beeji was right. We should not have come here.”
Jackal thought for a moment and said tentatively in a worried tone.
“It’s useless to think about him now. We can’t leave her. We have to kill her otherwise we will be in great danger. Get that knife. Hell knows whether we are infected. We have to get tested as soon as possible after finishing her off and this little one,” John pointed towards Sejal.
I was stupefied. I had to fight; I had to think of something else; something to escape.
‘It’s never too late Maya,’ I reminded myself. I tried to clear my head.
It is human behaviour that when it comes to save your loved ones, you find enormous strength magically. When a person is highly compelled or forced to do something that he hadn’t done before, it opens new windows. Such compulsions are termed as brainstorms of mind under the theory of The Brainstorm Theory in Psychology. It deals with the inner aspects of human minds and explains that when a person undergoes a shocking or an overwhelming situation and if it consumes the person completely, it brings up storms inside the mind. It shakes up all the dormant cells lying in the brain with a rigorous movement and as a result the person becomes able to do such exceptional things what he couldn’t do earlier!
I was weak. The pain was intolerable, my nerves were cracking down, and my strength was oozing out. But in spite of all these, I had decided to fight with two guys who were stronger than me; healthier than me. I had to. I also knew I had a handful of time and one mountainous task to perform. I felt like a volcano burning inside; ready to spill its hot molten lava over the two of them. A strange power was filling up in me. I was charging up to fight back. I wasn’t sure how but I would fight for my family; till my last breath. My love for the family was the factor that compelled me to fight back.
It’s Never Too Late Page 12