To Alexander, for turning the hourglass over.
To Chaplin, Ruby-June, and my first best friend, Cloud 9: I’ve always said I’d never be the writer to thank pets, yet here I am. Feeling guilty. The truth is, you’ve saved me from my sadness in ways both small and large.
To my parents, John Laurence Madden and Sherrie Lokelani Madden, to whom this book is dedicated. For this Big Life. For the greatest love of all. To Mom, especially, for facing these pages with unfathomable grace and understanding, for your fearless and wild and gorgeous heart, for all the handwritten cards, and for letting our story go on.
This book was written because once, a little girl needed more stories like her own. My greatest dedication and gratitude to every other drop-dead-lonely, queer-as-hell, bucktoothed loserly outcast reading a book under the covers with a little light, for anyone with a story to tell and a will to rise. Write it down. You are not alone; you are the champion of my heart.
To Drew Barrymore, for saving this kid’s life with a book.
And to my soon-to-be-wife, Hannah Beresford, for every draft, every mile, every kiss, and every day. They say happy endings don’t make for good stories but you have given me both, at once, in equal measure.
A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR
T Kira Madden is an APIA writer, photographer, and amateur magician. She is the founding editor in chief of No Tokens, and facilitates writing workshops for homeless and formerly incarcerated individuals. A 2017 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellow in nonfiction literature, she has received fellowships from the MacDowell Colony, Hedgebrook, Tin House, DISQUIET, Summer Literary Seminars, and Yaddo, where she was selected for the 2017 Linda Collins Endowed Residency Award. She lives in New York City and teaches at Sarah Lawrence College.
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This electronic edition first published in the United States 2019
Copyright © T Kira Madden, 2019
Photographs courtesy of T Kira Madden, 2019
Although this is a work of non-fiction, the names and identifying characteristics of certain individuals have been changed to protect their privacy, and dialogue has been reconstructed to the best of the author’s recollection
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers.
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Epigraph credits: here, excerpted from “The Glass Essay,” in Anne Carson, Glass, Irony and God, copyright © Anne Carson, 1995. Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corp; here, excerpted from Katherine Anne Porter, Ship of Fools (Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1962).
ISBN: HB: 978-1-63557-185-1; eBook: 978-1-63557-186-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Madden, T Kira, author.
Title: Long live the tribe of fatherless girls : a memoir / T Kira Madden.
Description: New York, NY : Bloomsbury Publishing Inc., 2019.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018016519 | ISBN 9781635571851 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781635571868 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Madden, T Kira,—Childhood and youth. | Women authors, American—Biography. | Racially mixed women—United States—Biography. | Lesbian authors—United States—Biography. | Adult children of drug addicts—United States—Biography. | Fathers and daughters—United States—Biography.
Classification: LCC PS3613.A28357 Z46 2018 | DDC 818/.603 [B]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018016519
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