“Ten minutes, Lacey.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I watched her reenter the stage door before I started hyperventilating. “Awesome. That gives me five minutes to either throw up or pee my pants. I’m so nervous, I might even do both for the win.”
“I wish I could help, Lace, but she’s set on it being you or Grady. I guess this means Grady is suspended.” Bernie’s face looked grimly satisfied. “Serves him right.”
“I can’t think about him right now.” I paced back and forth while shaking my hands, trying to rid myself of the building nerves. “Not when I’m about to embarrass myself in front of the whole school.”
“It won’t be that bad.” Bernie nodded like the power of positive thinking was enough.
“Uh, yeah, it will,” Tracey said with a wince.
“Okay, that does it.” Bernie huffed out an angry breath. “I’m going to find Grady and drag him back here.”
She stalked off before I could tell her not to bother. The last look on Grady’s face said it all. He’d given up on himself long ago. Tonight, he’d given up on me. On us.
“She’s not going to find him in time, is she?”
“Nope.” I closed my eyes and tried to push all things Grady from my head. I only had to get through the next fifteen minutes and then I could fall apart.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I do. But after I butcher this song and humiliate myself, okay?”
“Hey, you came through for me when I really needed it.” Tracey grabbed my hands in hers. “I’ll sing for you. All I have to do is put on a ball cap and no one will know.”
“You don’t know how tempting that is.” The thing was, Tracey was almost as bad at singing as I was. Why should she have to deal with the ridicule instead of me? Our eyes locked and the fierce protective glint in Tracey’s gray gaze sent a shot of warmth through my chest. “It means a lot to me that you offered, but I need to do this.”
“Are you sure? I’m pretty used to being the odd Trueheart twin. The one who always comes up short in comparison. I don’t mind taking one for the team.”
“You don’t come up short in my eyes, Tracey. I think you’re amazing. Fearless. I want to be you when I grow up.”
“What?” Her eyes went round.
“There’s so much about you that I admire. You’re comfortable in your skin. Sure of who you are. Unafraid. That’s how I see you.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’d like to be you with a more colorful wardrobe, of course.”
“Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.”
“Besides, isn’t this what life is about? Taking risks?”
“Sort of…” Tracey bit her lip and squeezed my hands. “Usually when you take a risk there’s a chance of success.”
“I know this will probably be funny one day.” My stomach twisted more with each minute that passed. “Only that day is a long, long time from now.”
30
How Fast Can You Run?
Grady
Pain hit me in the chest and held me tightly by the throat. A familiar pain, one I’d felt more than a few times before. My mind went blank and the pain eased, leaving me numb. I was underwater where everything slowed down and sounds muted.
I should have known it was too good to be true. No one—not one person who I thought cared about me—had stuck by me. Not my real dad. Not even my own mother. But, damn, I’d thought what Lacey and I had was different. Turned out it wasn’t. Just like it always happened, another person bailed on me and I was left standing here alone. Only, this time was worse because I’d honestly never imagined Lacey would.
My brain kept playing that kiss, Chad’s lips against Lacey’s forehead, over and over on one incessant loop. Each time was like a kick in the chest. I was literally breathless with pain. I was too out-of-control to get behind the wheel, so I escaped down to the practice field and sat my ass down on the player’s bench.
I hadn’t even noticed I still had my guitar in my hands. I quickly set it on the bench next to me when the impulse to smash it tempted me.
“Grady, man, everything okay?” TJ called to me.
I turned to see he’d followed me down to the field.
He sat straddling the bench, facing me with the guitar between us. “You look like you want to tear someone’s head off.”
“Pretty much,” I ground out. “I’ll get over it.”
“The thing is…” TJ looked away and then back again. “I sort of don’t want you to.”
“What the hell, TJ?”
“Look, we’ve been friends since elementary school, right?’
“Yeah. And?”
“When your dad took off, it was tough. It totally sucked, but you got through it. It was tough when your mom married Barry—but that one…you never got through. Which I understand because Barry’s an asshole and Chad and Miles are the proverbial apples.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You changed after that. Shut down. And pulled away from us. Except ever since you and Lacey started hanging out—it’s like you’re back. Finally back and we like it. We really missed you, Grady.”
Shit. I hadn’t meant to ditch my friends. It was just simple survival. Not letting myself get too close to anyone.
“What I’m saying is, talk to me. Let’s talk it over like we used to. What has you so angry?”
“Lacey told me she and Chad have been seeing each other.”
“Bullshit.” TJ snorted his disbelief. “Not possible.”
“She told me flat out,” I bit out, clamping my jaw closed so hard we both heard it. Bullshit? I jumped up and paced away before swinging back. “She let Chad kiss her.”
“First, cool down so you can think straight.” TJ spoke in a calm, cool voice, like he was trying to talk a jumper from the ledge.
Right. Cool down. I blew out a big breath.
“Tell me about the Lacey you know.”
“What the—”
“Just humor me.” TJ crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down.
“She’s smart.” Too smart not to see Chad for what he was. “She’s the nicest girl I know. She can also be like an angry badger if someone tries to hurt someone she loves.”
“You don’t say. In other words, she’s protective.”
I jerked my eyes to TJ’s. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“We both know Chad is a weasel-faced rat-snake posing in human form.”
He was. Now that the fog of anger had dissipated and I’d shoved the pain of rejection back down deep, I could see it plain as day.
“He’s been trying to bring me down for years.” And Lacey was protecting me.
I didn’t know how or why—but I did know whatever Lacey had said, it was to protect me. I knew it in my bones. That undecipherable look in her eyes… She was pleading with me to trust her. To trust that I knew her enough to see through Chad’s lies.
“Shit. I messed up. I messed up big.”
“Grady Burnett! You are a horse’s butt!” Bernie.
Yep, I turned my head to see her stomping toward me like she was advancing on the front line of a battle. She had the Fender case in her hands, carrying it like a shield in front of her.
“What in the world were you thinking?” she yelled, anger making her voice shake.
“Everything okay here, Bernadette?” some dude appeared out of nowhere.
“Good golly, Grant, could you not right now?”
The guy backed up with both palms in the air in surrender and his mouth sliding into a huge grin.
I did a double-take on his face, because even though he was wearing a set of thick nerd glasses, I was pretty sure I knew him.
“You’re—”
He shook his head, cutting me off. “Yes, the new guy in school. And a friend of Bernie’s.”
“You, stay out of this.” Bernie pointed at the new guy then turned her wrath on me. She gripped the guitar case in one hand and began poking me in the chest as her words shot o
ut like porcupine quills. “Listen up, buster. I have no idea what Chad pulled, but I trust Lacey enough to know whatever happened, Chad lied through his teeth.”
“I know.”
“I cannot believe how much crap she’s taken from you. She must love you, the poor girl.” She got up in my face and snarled. “First, you lie to her about your dad to get her to do your work. Then she sells her car to buy you this stupid guitar—”
“What?” She sold her car?
“And what do you do?” Bernie shoved the guitar case in my hands. “You throw it back in her face. And now you believe Chad—effin’ Chad!—over everything you know about her. You. Suck.”
“I already know that.” I wanted a do-over more than anything.
“How fast can you run?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Fast.”
“Then get moving because, thanks to you, Lacey is about to face her worst nightmare.”
“Oh, shit.” I grabbed the guitar tighter and sprinted all the way back to the auditorium.
31
My Worst Nightmare
Lacey
“Oh. My. Stars. I can’t believe it.” For a smart girl, I was being pretty dumb today.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what now?” Tracey’s hand went over her mouth. I wasn’t sure if she was stopping a moan or hiding a smile.
“I’m an idiot, that’s what. I was so sure of Grady, I never worried about me having to sing. I only sort of know the words. Not that knowing the words is going to make it sound any better.”
“Not a problem. What song?”
“‘Just the Way You Are’ by Bruno Mars.” Shoot. I liked the song a lot better when I thought Grady was going to sing it.
“Hand me your phone.” Tracey took my phone and brought up the lyrics from some karaoke site and handed it back. “There. Just read it off your phone.”
“Right.” I held a hand to my stomach, hoping it would settle down soon. “I’ve got to pull it together.”
“You’ll be fine, Lace.” Tracey messed with my hair. “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right?”
“Right. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” All the worst options ran like hungry zombies through my brain. My stomach did a loop-de-loop and my teeth began chattering. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”
“Okay, executive decision. I’m going on stage with you. I’ll be your back-up singer. I’m not letting you do this alone.”
“That would be awesome. You don’t even have to sing. Just having you with me will help.”
“It’ll be like when we used to get stitches or a shot. Remember? We’d hold each other’s hand. You used to cry for me more than I did when I was the one getting the shot.”
Miss Carver poked her head out, waving me in. “Let’s go, Miss Trueheart. You’re up next.”
Instantly, I was back to possibly tossing my cookies.
“This will be over in less than ten minutes,” Tracey said. “You can do anything for ten minutes.”
I sucked in a big breath and together, Tracey and I entered through the stage door, quietly making our way to stand in the wings.
“Hey, Tracey?” I whispered.
“Talk to me, Goose.”
“I just want to say the way we’re doing the twin thing now… I like it. I like it a lot.” I reached to my side and took her hand, wondering how we’d ever lost this togetherness. But more importantly, grateful to have found our way back to it.
“I do too. I’m sorry I saw you as my competition. You’re just so nice and smart, you’re a hard person to be a twin with.”
“Back at you,” I said.
“Want me to kill Grady for you when this is over?” Tracey asked.
“Pretty sure Bernie’s taking care of that right now, but thanks.”
“No one messes with my twin sister and gets away with it.”
“On second thought, hang on to that anger. I’ve got someone who needs a reckoning when this is all over.” Jerk-face Chad.
I was doing a good job of blocking out where I was standing and what I was about to have to do. Denial had its uses, like staving off a heart attack. And then someone frantically hissed “Lacey!” and gave me a nice hefty push from behind.
I stumbled on stage as the Master of Ceremonies announced my name. The white-hot spotlight lit up a perfect circle on the stage where the microphone stood, looking stark and scary. Just get it over with. I stepped into the circle on wobbly legs, clenching my hands together to stop them from trembling. My heart raced like a Triple Crown winner as it crossed the finish line.
The thing was, standing inside my worst nightmare offered me a clear picture of the safe choices I’d made. Always taking on only what I knew I could handle, but nothing more. I’d never risked more. I’d been trading off experiencing life to the fullest for security. I’d never pushed myself to do something that scared me. I’d chosen perfection over stretching my wings and seeing how far I could fly.
“You’ve got this,” Tracey whispered at my back.
Sucking in a breath, I waited for the music to start. And waited. My stress-meter arcing higher with each second.
“Lace,” Tracey hissed again. “Grady was going to play his guitar while he sang. That means you’ve got to sing a cappella.”
See how stupid-nervous I was? I knew that. But had forgotten. It was like I couldn’t catch a break. I filled my lungs with air, lifted my phone where I could read the words from the screen and started.
Let me stop here for a sec. If you think this is going to be one of those stories where the girl thought she didn’t have talent, but once she took the risk—ta-da! Guess what? She could sing like Mariah Carey—you couldn’t be more wrong.
Here’s how it went down…
The good news was, I didn’t pee myself. I’d tried to convince myself that I’d imagined the worst-case scenario. I hadn’t. I hadn’t even come close. With my heart clenching and my throat tight with nerves, I opened my mouth and sang.
Hearing myself over the speaker system was a bit of a shock. But I forged ahead. The laughter didn’t begin right away. People tried to be nice. But once the first person could no longer hold it in, it set off an avalanche of laughter and hoots and whistles. I kept my eyes glued to the lyrics on my phone and prayed the space-time continuum would bend for me.
It did not. The only saving grace was Tracey. Knowing she had my back and was generously sharing the humiliation with me made me all warm and gooey inside. She mmmed and doo-wopped her heart out for me.
I tried Grady’s advice: focus on the music. Feel it. Connect with it.
Sadly, the more I committed to the song, throwing myself into it, the worse I got.
Painfully worse.
The audience laughed even more. Some covered their ears. It was not pretty.
I kept going. It was the longest two and a half minutes of my life.
32
So Bad It Was Good
Grady
I slung the guitar around to rest against my back and ran faster than I ever had before. My lungs burned and threatened to burst, but I kept going. I entered through the audience since it was closer, thus, faster access than going around to the stage door.
It only took two steps into the auditorium to know I’d failed Lacey.
I was too late.
Lacey was on the last verse of the song. You know how some people play coy and say they’re bad at something, but they’re really pretty good? Sadly, that was not the case. Lacey’s singing voice was…exactly as bad as she’d said it was. The laughter blasting throughout the auditorium couldn’t be easy to hear or to suffer through. About as painful as getting pelted with rocks.
By the time I jumped up on the stage, the song had ended but the laughter, catcalls and a polite round of applause was still going, rising into a groundswell. Lacey stood on the stage with Tracey’s arms wrapped around her protectively, her forehead leaning against Tracey’s shoulder, and she was shaking te
rribly.
Oh, damn. I would never forgive myself for putting Lacey through this. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive me either.
Walking over next to the sisters, I placed my free hand on Lacey’s back.
“Lacey?” I leaned closer in case she couldn’t hear me over the audience. “I’m sorry.”
Lacey lifted her head, turning to look up at me. The streaks of tears down her cheeks grabbed my chest in a crushing grip.
Her tears were my fault. All my fault.
“Did you hear it?” She clamped her hand over her mouth and blinked up at me, her eyes still luminous and her expression pinched.
“You were…”
“Awful,” Tracey said.
“No. I was going to say brave.” Lacey’s face turned red and I pulled her into my chest, trying to offer her my comfort. “Very, very brave.”
She sniffed and made a snuffled snorting noise and guilt cracked my chest open when she lost it.
“Ahahaha…hahaha…Oh, my gosh, my stomach hurts. I can’t stop laughing!”
“What the heck?” Laughing? Not tears of humiliation and pain? “You’re laughing?”
“Me too!” Lacey’s laughter had set Tracey off and they both clung to me while they cracked up and snorted and giggled.
“How can we not? We were so—haha—awesomely awful—gahahah.” Lacey’s beautiful musical laughed floated through me. She laughed so hard she cried. She and Tracey both. “But we did it.”
“Are you two hysterical?” I asked, but by now their laughter was making me grin. “Wait, we?”
Lacey nodded. “Tracey was my back-up singer.”
“It was so bad it was good.” Tracey grinned.
“Lace,” I wrapped my hands around her face, wiping her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “I’m sorry you had to sing instead of me.”
“It’s okay. I almost threw up, but I did it. I stood on the stage and let the whole school see I’m not perfect. I feel okay. Better than okay. I feel free, like I let go of a fifty-pound sandbag I’d been hauling around.”
The Good Girl & the Bad Boy: A Sweet YA Romance (Jackson High Series Book 2) Page 15