by Jerry Cole
“Numb. It’s crazy how things can change that fast.” Her voice was rough, and she leaned back, looking tired all over again.
“Was anyone hurt in the fire? I never asked you that.” I felt like shit for not thinking of it sooner.
“No. The store where it started was one of those little corner markets and closed for the day like us. The third building was a co-working space, and everyone got out before it spread that far.” She stared forward at the ocean as she spoke and looked shell shocked for a moment. “Fuck. This sounds like a TV show or something.”
“You are alive, Jamie. Kyle was obsessive about insurance, and they will handle everything. It might take a bit, but you’ll be fine. I’ll see to that.” I promised her as she smiled weakly.
“Yeah. You and Leo. He’s unraveling over this after what happened with his dad. I feel awful.” She closed her eyes, and I chuckled softly.
“It’s a lot, but he’s a good guy. He cares about the people that are closest to him.” I saw that first with Ryan and then Jamie, not to mention Ryan’s family.
“Yeah. I see that more and more.” She looked at me as a flash of warmth crossed her face, blushing pink. “I like him, Ben.”
“I could see it all over your face. His too.” I looked back at her as her face fell into her thoughtful expression. “Are you okay with the distance thing? Are you planning on being together despite that?”
“We already are. I knew that last trip and even a bit during the holiday. I don’t love the distance, but you and Ryan make it work. We can do the same thing.” She nibbled on her bottom lip, and I tilted my head at her.
“What is it?” I pressed, and she rolled her eyes.
“Kyle’s aunt back home is pretty sick. She only has his mom and sister, so he was considering going back for a while to help out. They were close growing up. He freaked out about the shop. We talked about it a lot.” She blinked slowly. “Then I got that call. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him at all about it. This is so devastating.”
“Wait a minute. If he were to go home hypothetically, you would give up the bakery? You wouldn’t make a go of it on your own?” I asked as emotions flooded me. I felt pain and heartbreak, combining with the hope I’d been feeling since seeing her and Leo together.
“I didn’t get that far. It’s hard when it’s all I’ve wanted for a while. It was doing good and making us a living. It was safe to stay and see what I could do with it.” She shrugged. “At the same time, I see how happy you are in Belize. I see how much you love Ryan. I know that you could work from there without any damage to your business. I have to admit that I love it too.”
I waited in silence. I didn’t want to sway her decision in any way, so I let her think aloud.
“With what happened, I know I have choices now. I know that Kyle might use this to make a final decision on what he wants to do.” She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “I’m so fucked up over this right now. I can’t think.”
“Don’t. There’s no rush, Jamie. This is a lot, and you never expected it.” I reached for her hand and squeezed lightly. “I’m here for you.”
We stayed around the apartment for the day, and she spoke to Kyle a few times and Leo several times. She smiled every time, and I knew that she loved having a family behind her through this. Mom and Sarah also reached out once they heard about the fire. I spoiled her with pizza for dinner since she was still not eating a lot and we drank a bottle of wine with it.
She was tucked in bed when I called Ryan later that night. “Hi, baby.”
“Hey. How’s Jamie holding up?” Ryan asked me as his voice sent warmth through me.
“She’s kind of all over the place. We had some wine tonight, and she’s out like a light. She needs it.” I paused for a moment.
“Leo told me that she’s jumping around with her emotions. He’s a wreck with everything going on, but I’m trying to keep him calm. We’re at the beach house because it’s so peaceful here. It just makes me miss you that much more.”
“I miss you. I’m tempted to bring Jamie back so she can relax on the deck with a drink. Kyle is going to be dealing with insurance shit for a while. There’s nothing that she can do here.” I wanted that badly. Kyle was the one that handled the business end of things, and I knew he was on top of the insurance. Jamie was sitting here and waiting for news.
“Do it. We’d both love you guys here. I’ve never seen Leo want to talk to someone so much before. She comforts him. I think they would be good for each other.” Ryan sounded happy at the idea, and I smiled.
“I’ll talk to her. I think she’s still on edge, and she talks to Kyle a lot.” I sighed. “I haven’t even seen the damage. They had a nice place there, and it’s a big loss.”
“You know that she could get a job here baking at one of the restaurants or resorts.” This wasn’t a new thought for me. I knew she could and had likely thought of it herself.
“Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind more than once. She’d be great out there.” I paused and licked my lips. “She said that her partner might move back home to help the family. At least, he thought about it before the fire. I don’t know where he’s at now.”
“Shit. That would free her up.” Ryan sounded hopeful, and I leaned back against the couch.
“It would. I’m not pushing her either way right now. I just told her that we’d all be there for her.”
“Absolutely.” Ryan sighed. “She’s family now.”
“Everyone’s called her. She loves it, Ryan. We’ve been on our own for so long.” Sadness filled my voice, and I caught myself. I had people behind me now, and they weren’t going anywhere.
“Not anymore, baby. I love you, and so does my family.”
“I love you. I’m going to figure this out, but I hope to be back. I need to be with you.” I felt that more than anything seeing the stress here for Jamie. We chatted a bit longer and ended the call with I love you. I set my phone down on the couch and closed my eyes.
I was tired. So tired.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryan
I sat in the water and waited for a good wave, glancing at my best friend. Leo was restless since Jamie called about the bakery. I knew that he was still worried about his dad as he recovered, and now knowing that Jamie was going through hell was making him near manic.
I knew that he was in love with her. I saw it once when we were younger, but it was strong this time around. Leo might not admit it, but I wouldn’t ask him to. Not yet.
He saw the wave first, and I gave it to him. He needed to relax, and surfing was his thing. I watched as he stood and rode in, shaking a little as he struggled with his balance. I managed a wave a few minutes later and realized I was off.
I offered to take him for breakfast when we finished, and he agreed. We went to our favorite diner and ordered coffee. He shifted in his seat as I watched him. “You okay?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had this much shit going on. I don’t know what to do.” He smiled, and I saw the vulnerability in his eyes.
“Day by day. Jamie has support at home, and Ben is keeping an eye on her.” I offered, and he sipped his coffee.
“I want to be the one doing that.” I smiled, and he glared at me.
“You know about her partner?”
“Kyle? She said he might back out of the bakery, but the fire kind of buried that. I mean, once the dust settles, it could make or break him. I don’t know that she wants to make a go of it on her own.” The waitress came back over, and we ordered the usual plates.
“Ben knows that she’d find something here and he said she does, too. I just think she’s a little lost right now.” I gazed at him. “Do you want her here?”
“Am I crazy if I say yes?” I smiled and shook my head.
“I wanted Ben here permanently that first trip. I felt something, and that’s only grown. He’s so close to Jamie that he was hesitant to make any decisions about it. They’ve only had each other for years
. That has to be hard.” I shook my head thoughtfully as I reached for my coffee.
“Yeah. We’re lucky to have what we do.” His eyes grew sad, and I knew he was thinking of his dad.
“He’s going to do great, Leo. Your dad is a fighter, and they caught everything early.” I assured him as he blinked.
“I know. That was just the thing I’ve always been the most scared of. Losing either of them is unimaginable.” Leo stared at me for a moment.
“I know.” I knew all too well how that felt, and Leo winced.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about what I was saying.” He apologized quickly, and I waved my hand in the air.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s been a while, and I’m rather okay about it. I mean, I can’t change it.” I shrugged and picked up a piece of bacon.
“I’m not ready for that.” He spoke softly, and I nodded. “His getting sick made me wonder why we live so far.”
“You don’t want to live here anymore?” I asked, and he sighed.
“No. I do. I love it here, and we have our store. I just feel the distance more when something happens.” He shrugged, and I nodded. I missed my family often and now, Ben. “Life is complicated.”
“It is.” We focused on our meal and didn’t talk until we headed to the shop. Leo was talking to Jamie when we walked inside, and I got everything ready to open as he spoke low into the phone. He seemed to come to life when he was talking to her, and I glanced over as I secured the register.
I wanted her and Ben here right now. With the fire, she was free to leave California with Ben, but I’d never demand that. If her partner left, that would be even more incentive. Leo ended the call and unlocked the doors as I turned on the music.
The day passed quickly with a lot of customers and some new sign-ups for surf lessons. We had a full-time guy now and part-time to handle the slack. It was working out great and we were both eager to hire some more people to cover the store. I was tired when I left and we grabbed dinner on the way to the beach house. I preferred it over my little place and I think Leo did as well. We ate outside, sipping beer as we watched the sunset.
God, I missed Ben.
We talked to them after dinner, and Jamie said that faulty wiring caused the fire. That meant that insurance shouldn’t be a problem for them though it was held up at this point. Jamie sounded bored and restless as she spoke to us over speakerphone. She was used to working long hours, and despite how crazy they were, it worked for Jamie. Ben came to the phone a few minutes into the conversation and I leaned my chin on my hand as I listened to his whiskey voice. Leo raised a brow at me as I smiled, shaking his head at me.
He ended the call and looked at me. “She’s bored. I can hear it in her voice.”
“Yeah. I can hear it too.” I agreed, and he took a long drink of his beer.
“She needs to come back until they hear something, or Kyle decides.”
We went to sleep a few hours later and got up early to surf. I recognized myself in Leo in that he wanted to keep himself busy right now. The shop had the usual steady flow of customers, and I found comfort in the familiarity of that fact. After work, was dinner and the phone call. I talked to my mom and filled her in on what was happening as well. She agreed that they should come here to stay until the insurance was settled but laughed because she knew I couldn’t force it.
“Hang in there. It will all work out.” I told her that I loved and missed her before ending the call. I dropped the phone in the chair beside me and breathed in the ocean air. I knew that Ben was putting in some time editing photos that he fell behind on in the whirlwind of his life. I knew that he was busy while keeping an eye on Jamie.
The weekend came, and they were no closer to knowing anything. Ben sounded like he was stretched thin, and Jamie just sounded exhausted. I wanted to tell them just to come and wait it out here in the house where we could be together.
Ben called Monday night, and he sounded cheerful. “Hey, baby. How are you?”
“Good. I have news.”
“What?” I demanded as I paced the deck.
“Kyle is heading back home to deal with family, and they are still waiting on the insurance company. It’s normal with these things.” I waited for him to speak again. “Jamie is driving me crazy and I can’t stand the sight of the apartment anymore. She agreed to come back to Belize for a while to figure her head out.” I heard Leo yell in the house and grinned, knowing he knew now as well.
“Perfect. When is your flight?” I asked, and Ben chuckled.
“Tomorrow afternoon. We’ll be there after you finish work.” I smiled and raised a fist into the air. “I’ll have work stuff to do, of course. I’m hoping she’ll look into working there to see her options. Nothing is keeping us here.”
“That’s great. Should I pick you up?” I asked and watched as Leo came out to the deck.
“I’ll get a rental. You’ll need your car for work. I should buy one to use when I’m there.”
“Yes, you should. It would be better than renting all of the time. We’ll look for something while you’re here.”
“Will we?” He asked in a low voice as I leaned my head forward.
“They’re coming tomorrow!” Leo told me in a low voice as I nodded.
“Someone is excited.” I grinned at Leo as Ben laughed. We discussed the next day, and I told him I loved him before ending the call. I smiled and looked at Leo as he took a seat beside me. “We should go out to dinner tomorrow with them.”
We went surfing the following morning with a renewed vigor. I enjoyed feeling this way with my best friend over two people that were best friends. We grabbed a quick breakfast burrito after we finished and dressed for the store. We knew that we’d have our people here in a few hours.
We locked the shop and headed back to the beach house. I wanted to finish picking up before they arrived, and Leo helped in the living room before I dashed into our room to look it over. I heard voices and walked out into the living room to see Leo greeting Ben and Jamie. I smiled as Ben looked at me, walking over to pull me into a hug. “Hi. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I held him tight and then glanced over at Jamie. She was smiling but still looked tired as she talked to Leo.
“She needed this. I saw her smile more yesterday than I had in days.” Ben said, and I nodded.
“Ryan. Hi.” She walked over to hug me, and I pulled her close.
“How are you holding up?” I asked as she laughed weakly.
“I don’t know, but I’m happy to be here. I can tell you that.”
“Want to go out to dinner? Did you eat?” I asked as she pulled away. Her hair was in a messy top bun, and there were circles under her eyes.
“Plane food.” Jamie wrinkled her nose. “I’d love to go to dinner.”
We got their bags in the proper rooms and headed out to The Reef. Lani smiled when she saw us, leading the way to the table. We asked for beers, and she nodded before going to get them. Jamie leaned into Leo as he held her close, making me smile. “How long are you here for?” I asked Ben, and he shrugged.
“I can work from here. She’s waiting on news, so we don’t know. It just seems better to do that here.” He gave me a look that told me he was worried about his best friend.
“It is. The beach can solve any problems.” I agreed before pecking his lips. We relaxed through dinner, and Jamie seemed to smile a bit more through the meal. We were quiet on the way back, enjoying the sound of beach until we reached the house.
“Want to have a beer on the deck?” I asked as I looked at Jamie.
“I’m pretty wiped. I think I’m going to get some sleep and take you up on that tomorrow night?” She smiled, and I nodded, pulling her into a hug. Ben embraced her and whispered something into her ear before she pulled away and nodded. We watched as she walked upstairs and I stared at Ben. “Would you like to sit out back?”
“I’d love to.” He took his bag into the room when he arrived,
and I took his hand, pulling him to one of the comfortable chairs. We sat down, and he leaned back to close his eyes. “Man, this feels good. It’s been crazy at home.”
“She looked sort of happy when she was at the restaurant.” I offered, and he turned his head to look at me.
“She’s getting there. Being here will heal a lot. She can relax and be away from everything.” He looked exhausted, and I stared at him.
“You need to sleep, too.” I stroked his cheek, and Ben took a deep breath.
“I will. I just need to breathe in this air for a bit.” We stayed out there for a while in silence, and then he started to breathe evenly.
“Oh, baby.” I considered what to do and smiled as I rose to get a couple of blankets and pillows for myself. I covered him up and rested on the pillow as I pulled the blanket around myself. I figured that he’d wake up at some point during the night and hoped he alerted me when he did.
I woke up before Ben as the sky was lightening. I heard the door open and blinked as I heard someone chuckling. “You fell asleep out here?” Leo asked as I glanced back at him.
“He fell asleep out here. I didn’t want to leave him.” I stretched, feeling the ache in my back. “Shit.”
“Do you want to surf before work?” Leo asked as I gave him a surprised look.
“I thought you would want to sleep in with Jamie here.” He smiled and shrugged.
“She was out like a light last night. Still is. I thought I’d let her rest, and we have to work anyway.” He looked worried but then gazed out at the water. “Consistency is good.”
“It is.” I glanced at Ben, sleeping soundly in the chair. “He’s going to hurt later, but I can’t wake him up.” I stood slowly, stretching a bit before placing my blanket over him. “Let me get ready.” I walked into our room and pulled some trunks on with a t-shirt before sliding my feet into flip flops.