After a while, I felt good enough to have a conversation with Leo. He had kept a respectful distance from me, and let me know he was there if I ever needed to talk, and I eventually took him up on it. It had been hard, and I was sure the conversation would be burned into my memory forever.
“Hey,” Leo said softly from behind me, and I froze for half a second, my eyes already beginning to feel the pinprick of tears before I blinked them back. This conversation was going to be hard enough without me getting all weepy. I turned away from one of the bookcases I had been staring at to see Leo standing there, leaning against Lionel Scipio’s desk, his hands shoved into his pockets.
I had chosen the location. It seemed fitting to say goodbye in the same place we had met, even if it was metaphorical. “Hey,” I replied, trying to keep the flood of emotions that filled me from reaching my voice. Seeing him felt like coming home, and all I wanted to do was throw myself into his arms and beg him to figure out a way that we could be together.
But I couldn’t do that. Leo’s coding was tied to Lily’s, and there was no differentiating where he ended and she began.
The corner of Leo’s lip twitched, and for several seconds, both of us were silent. I wasn’t sure whether he was waiting for me to speak, or was just as uncertain as I was on what to say next, but it grew awkward. I opened my mouth to fill the space, when he suddenly blurted out, “I miss you.”
My mouth hung open for several seconds, and then I slowly drew it closed and swallowed down my heart, the flood of emotions with which those three simple words filled me threatening to break down my control. I looked away for a few seconds, needing something else to focus on, and took in a shaky breath. “I miss you, too.”
I darted a quick glance up to him, and saw him looking at me with remorse. “I would’ve copied myself to Grey,” he told me, his eyes pleading for understanding. “But the nets can’t do that.”
I nodded my head. “I know,” I replied, my voice coming out high and tight. “I do.” I hesitated, and then asked the one question I had been wondering about since the simulation. “Did you… Did you know what was happening in the datasphere?”
Leo hesitated, and then nodded. “Yes,” he replied simply, and a wave of hurt and recrimination crashed down on me. Why hadn’t he warned me what was coming? Why couldn’t he have told me that I was about to lose him? I opened my mouth, intent on asking him just that, when he added, “And I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you. Honestly, I thought we’d have more time after the fight was over, but the protocols took over, and…”
I held up my hand to stop him. I didn’t need to hear any more, and besides, it didn’t matter. What was done, was done, and I wasn’t here to cast blame. I was here to try to get better.
“It’s okay,” I said. “We did the best we could under some pretty unusual circumstances. I know that this isn’t how you wanted things to be either. And I’m pretty sure you would’ve liked to talk to me sooner.”
He shook his head slowly. “No, not at all. It hasn’t been easy on any of us.”
I nodded in agreement, and then sighed, searching for a way to try to make this conversation more positive. So far, all it was doing was making me want to cry, and I was here to move past that. “Maybe not, but it’s been good for the Tower. You and Lily, I mean. You guys have done an amazing job altering the laws in the Tower and selling it to the citizens. The speech you gave about the ranking system and dismantling it was—”
“Thank you,” he said, ducking his head. His hologram didn’t show his cheeks blushing, but I could tell that he was embarrassed by my praise. I couldn’t understand why. He’d made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that rank was no longer to be a reflection of the service anyone performed to the Tower, but rather an indication of their happiness, as it was always meant to be. Eventually, we’d get around to dismantling them completely and destroying the indicators, but people were still too reliant on them to eradicate the system completely. Until then, rank discrimination was not going to be tolerated. “It’s really you who has done something amazing. The Diplomacy Corp is a rousing success. The people you’ve collected are showing an uptick of their rank within a few months of joining, and the amount of work everyone has put in to foster inter-departmental relations has been—”
“Thank you,” I said. It was my turn to be embarrassed. I hadn’t been fishing for a compliment, and honestly, hearing them from him only hurt, only reminded me how much time we hadn’t gotten to spend together. I licked my lips and looked around the room for a second, trying to find the right words to convey everything I had felt since we had last seen each other. How I regretted that I hadn’t gotten to kiss him goodbye, and how I missed his arms around me, making me feel safe. How I longed for his voice in our meetings, or how I still dreamed about him from time to time.
“Liana, if I had the power to go back in time and spare you this pain, I would do it in a nanosecond,” Leo said, jerking my attention back to him. “I’m sorry I even put you in that position. I knew there was a chance that I would have to replace Scipio, but I still pursued you.”
I felt a dull throb of anger. “Don’t say that,” I said, shaking my head. “I loved what we had together, once I finally got around to accepting it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Except for maybe the ending, of course, but as you pointed out, there’s nothing we can do about that. I’m here to talk about what comes next. How we can move forward and… let go.”
Leo stared at me for a second, his eyes deep and unfathomable. “Of course,” he replied with a nod, a small quirk of his lips turning into a smile. “What did you have in mind?”
“I’m going to go with the delegation to Patrus when we finally get it all arranged,” I informed him at last. “And I might extend my trip there for a while. I think it will be good to get some space from everything. You and Lily need time to… to come to terms with everything too, and having me around as a constant reminder isn’t helping.”
“Liana, you don’t have to go,” Leo said, straightening up. “You’re the head of your department. Your duty is here.”
I smiled and shook my head. “Then I’ll resign. Leo, this isn’t going to work until we both have time and, more importantly, space from each other. I can’t get that as a councilor. I see you and Lily every week, for crying out loud! I’ve tried to get past it, but it hurts, and I can’t help it. It doesn’t matter that she’s me. I still kind of hate her.”
Leo stared at me for a second, and then smiled ruefully. “She says the same thing about you.”
I stared at him for a second, and then rolled my eyes, a soft chuckle escaping me. Of course she did. “So then you get it. This is what needs to happen, not just for us personally, but so your program and hers can really come together, if that makes any sense.”
Leo ran a hand through his hair and then sighed. “I guess… maybe you’re right. Maybe it is better this way, but, dammit, Liana, I don’t want you to go. It’s dangerous out there!”
I smiled, but it was bittersweet. I could hear the love pouring out of him, making his concern for me more intense than for the average citizen, and while I ached to go to him, I remained where I was. “You see what I mean? You’re still too emotionally invested in me, Leo. You have to learn how to treat me like any other citizen of the Tower, and I have to accept that you’ll never be mine. Time. Space. We need it.”
Leo’s jaw tightened for a second, and I could sense he still wanted to fight, but a second later, he sighed, his shoulders slumping. “You’re right. I know you’re right, I just… I hate it. I hate this, and I hate—”
“No more hate,” I instructed him, taking a step closer. “It’s exhausting and accomplishes nothing. Just… give me your permission to go, when it comes up in the council meeting.”
Leo closed his mouth slowly. “Of course,” he said sadly. “Anything you want. I just think you should know that no matter what happens, there will always be a part of me that loves you. It will never go away, no
matter how much time and space we take.”
This time I couldn’t hold the tears back, and my vision grew blurry around the edges. I wasn’t crying—more like seeping—but still. His words both stung, and filled me with a warmth I had no way of stopping. “I know,” I said honestly. “And you should know that I’ll always feel the same way. But this is for the best.”
He smiled sadly, but accepted it with a nod. “Yes. Good luck on your adventures, Liana. Please… be safe.”
“You too,” I replied, feeling like there was a deeper context to our words that no one but the two of us could understand, one filled with love, remorse, understanding, and underneath it all—a sad farewell. I turned to leave, and managed to make it all the way outside before I had to stop and cry. But it was a good cry, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.
After that, I threw myself back into my work with full force, trying to make sure the Patrus agreement didn’t fall apart. It helped, and even though I hadn’t left yet, I began to start hurting less, and finally began letting myself heal.
Grey and I had kept our distance until about seven months ago, when we bumped into each other at Quess’s first attempt at an inter-departmental function. Barely anybody from the other departments had come, but the Diplomacy Corp had made our own fun, anyway. The night had started off awkward, but somehow, Grey and I had managed to fall into a rhythm like the one we’d had before all this craziness had started, and it was both familiar and new all at the same time. We spent half the night talking about the future, discussing other problems that were cropping up in the wake of all the changes, and then the other half talking about us.
It was nice. It was grown-up. It was mature.
And it had taken many more conversations, coupled with several outings, before we finally agreed to give it another try.
Now he and I stood staring at each other for a second, and then he tossed down the items he was carrying with a loud thump and held his arms out to me. I went to him immediately, letting him envelop me, and took a deep breath, inhaling his spicy scent.
“How you holding up?” he asked, resting his chin on the top of my head.
“Good,” I replied. “Tired, but good. Thank you for being so understanding.”
“Yeah, well, I plan for you to make it up to me by sleeping in with me for the first week we’re in Patrus,” he replied, smoothing a hand over my hair and shoulders. “You’ve been running yourself ragged trying to get this whole thing together, and while I know it’s very important to you that this exchange succeeds, it’s important to me that you’re taking care of yourself. And since you’re incapable of doing even that, it’s up to me to make sure you do.”
I chuckled, and pulled my head away from his chest to look at him, something in his voice making me suspicious. “What are you up to?”
“Me?” he asked in mock innocence. “Oh, nothing…”
My eyes narrowed, but I was already smiling, knowing that whatever Grey had up his sleeve, it would be magical. He was good at creating little moments for us to enjoy together.
“Grey,” I said after several seconds, when my glare had failed to get him to talk more. “What did you do?”
“He called me up in the middle of the night and got me to ask the Patrians for a small place for the two of you to spend a week alone,” my twin supplied, and I turned in Grey’s arms to see that Alex had walked over from the pile of gear on the roof to join us. For what, I wasn’t sure, but I was too interested in the answer to ask right that second.
“A small place to spend a week alone?” I asked, turning back to Grey.
He was glaring at Alex like he would happily toss my brother off the Tower, but he replied to my question anyway. “Like I said, you’ve been running yourself ragged. Since I know you won’t take the time off for yourself, I arranged it for you. Besides, you and I have been putting off some relationship conversations, and I’ve been patient, but that patience is coming to an end.”
Oh boy.
It was no secret Grey wanted to marry me. He’d already asked me once, but it had been at Zoe and Eric’s wedding, and I had been so sure he’d just been caught up in the moment that I’d laughed it off and called him crazy. That hadn’t gone over well, but we’d talked the misunderstanding out, and been all the better for it.
Except he hadn’t asked me to marry him again.
Now I felt certain that he was going to use this week he had planned to do it, and I suddenly couldn’t wait to get there. “It sounds amazing,” I told him, going up to my tiptoes to plant a light kiss on his lips before turning back to my brother. “Did you need something?”
“No, but I wanted to give you a heads-up that Thomas and Melissa are five minutes out. Quess already netted Doxy so the council members can be here for the official meeting, so… just get ready for all the pomp and circumstance, I guess.”
I grinned. It was the one part of our roles that he hated, but I had loved putting together. We had created our first cross-cultural welcoming ceremony, and I was eager to see what the Patrians thought about what I had come up with. I hoped that the ceremony and speech would make them feel welcome and comfortable, if it was possible for an event to do such a thing, but that remained to be seen. “Thanks,” I told him. “I’ll be right over.”
He flashed me a thumbs-up as he moved to return to the others, and I turned back to Grey, a warm glow forming in my chest. “You’re going to ask me to marry you again, aren’t you?” I asked, suddenly too impatient to wait for our time alone together to confirm it.
He opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it again with a soft click of his teeth. “I’m not saying,” he taunted, but I knew I was right. He was planning to ask me again.
And this time, I’d get it right and say yes.
I placed my head back on his shoulder and closed my eyes, letting myself imagine what the next six months would hold. I was excited and nervous, but the future of the Tower had never looked so bright, and I was just grateful that I had people I loved around me, helping me, supporting my dream for the Tower’s future. This moment had been everything I had been fighting for, and now that it was here, I couldn’t be happier.
Because now, we could finally start a new chapter. One that began with: After the Tower.
What’s next?
Dear Reader,
Thank you for accompanying Liana through to the end of her journey, and I hope you enjoyed the grand finale.
Leaving behind the Tower and its residents is emotional and bittersweet, but I’m happy about where I’ve left the characters.
I’m also very excited about my next dystopian story!: The Child Thief, releasing June 11th 2018.
I’ve included the first two chapters of The Child Thief at the back of this ebook, as a special bonus sneak peek, so keep turning the pages to read them!
And here's a preview of the awesome cover:
Pre-order the book now for your convenience, to have it delivered automatically on release day:
If you’re in the US, tap here.
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Keep turning for the bonus chapters…
BONUS CHAPTERS
The Child Thief
Blurb:
In a world where we have government of the rich by the rich for the rich…
America in 2105 is beset with mass inequality, poverty and increasingly large numbers of the poor. This, combined with the breakdown of families and marriages has led to huge economic and societal burdens. A fractured and divided America ushers in a right wing government that promises to solve all these problems in one stroke with a radical solution.
Welcome to the CRAS: the Child Redistribution Adoption System. Also known as the cure for America’s failing economy… and the bane of nineteen-year-old Robin Sylvone’s existence.
Under the System, not all parents can expect to keep the children they bring into the world: families who are no
t self-sustaining have their children taken and given to the rich.
And as a single teen mother, Robin fell within the scope of the scheme and lost her baby two years ago.
After being forced to drop out of school and become a factory worker in order to support herself, she doesn’t see much light in her future—or hold any hope of seeing her child again.
Until she stumbles upon a group of misfits who share her frustrations and desire for change. An underground movement that operates in some rather clever yet unconventional ways…
By day they still call me Robin Sylvone. Factory worker and upper class reject.
But now, by night, they call me Robin Hood…
Brimming with action, mystery and romance, fans of The Girl Who Dared to Think will be gripped by this imaginative thrill-ride through a chillingly warped America.
Prologue
I stood frozen outside my parents’ bedroom.
Staring at the door handle, I tightened my grip around the breakfast tray I had prepared. I could hear the murmuring of the television seeping through the cracks of the closed door, and I wished I didn’t feel so nervous. I wished today was just like any other day I treated them to breakfast in bed… But it wasn’t.
I had news to share with them this morning. News unlike any I had ever shared before.
And although I had known them for sixteen years and ten months of my seventeen years of living, I feared how they were going to react. They had always treated me as if I were their own child, ever since the day the Ministry of Welfare took me from my birth parents and assigned me to them.
The Girl Who Dared to Fight Page 39