“My brother and I had a vision for the world, for the Celestial Kingdom. We had a vision of what would happen if man was left to run amok, unhindered, to make their own choices as they saw fit. We knew that if they were left to their own devices, they would destroy everything our Father created, everything we knew and loved. And surely enough, look upon the world now.
“Man has killed the earth. Man has caused plague, starvation, and strife. The greatest evils humanity has ever known has been brought about by their own hands, not mine. Not Lucifer’s. Consider history. The Inquisition. Witch hunts. Implements of torture – for the sake of torture, not to achieve any specific ends. Lack of mercy. Pollution. Mass extinctions. Corruption. Bioweapons. The Holocaust. . .”
I frowned, shaking my head again.
“Stop with the mind games!” I shouted, and he stopped.
“Do you think me to be a liar, Larin? Have you not learned anything of your history?”
“Yes, Azrael. Man is capable of a great many hideous things. But they are also capable of great kindness. Of love,” I said, struggling for the words.
“Man is capable of a great many things,” he said darkly, “but ultimately it will result in the death of the world. It has already started. My brother and I saw this. We knew it to be true, and now here it is, close to fruition. The end of the world.”
“You’re wrong,” I said, as we arrived at the top of the wall. Azrael started walking along the ramparts, still speaking as vessels turned and froze respectfully as he passed.
“I am not. I mentioned mass extinction before, brought on by man. But if you knew anything about history, ancient history, you will know that the earth underwent many great extinction events, some which nearly wiped out all creation. But do you know what rose from that death?”
I stared at him, waiting. He turned and looked at me, smiling.
“Life,” he said. “Greater, and more wonderous than before.”
We rounded a corner, and I looked out beyond the wall, resisting the urge to gasp. Magma and fire were the only things visible in the blackness beyond. It rose up in steams and flame, as far as the eye could see. A great river of fire flowed in a moat at the bottom of the walls of the great city, and I grew dizzy suddenly at the sight. I swallowed, looking back at Azrael.
“Larin, I believe that by wiping the slate clean, life can rise up greater than ever before. We can harken a new era of peace if you will join me.” I laughed out loud, incredulous.
“I will never help you kill humanity!” I cried, “you must be completely insane!”
Azrael kept walking, and we went down the steps near the ramparts, a great stone balustrade-lined staircase. We turned and walked through the training area, where hundreds and hundreds of vessels were drilling. My mouth dropped at the number of them. There was no way there were that many vessels at the Citadel. I wondered if Azrael showing me these numbers was his way of making a point.
“Larin, humans were never meant to rule this world. Their natures compel them towards evil. I seek to avoid the destruction of everything, contrary to what you may believe. I seek only to restore the wonder and glory of what once was. A world where vessels and angels can enjoy the fruits of Eden once more.”
“I’ve seen how much you care for vessels, Azrael,” I said, “and it isn’t much.”
Azrael turned on me angrily. “Look up there,” he said, pointing at the rows of vessels there. But they weren’t vessels. There was something strange about them. I noticed their differences as I looked closer. They were larger than vessels and had gray wings, not black.
“Who are they?” I whispered. They appeared fearsome, staring forward into the blackness, guarding.
“Those are the armaros,” he said, eyeing them with satisfaction. “My fallen brothers and sisters. They were true angels, like the archangels, who followed me after the Fall. They are. . .patriots. Believers in the ends Lucifer and I sought to achieve. Believers that the greatness that what was and can be again. Needs to be again. They know what ‘good’ man has wrought on this earth,” he sneered. “But they have bided their time, waiting for the right moment. Vessels are an important part of this story, despite what you will believe about me. The fact is that I believe they are necessary and can live in harmony with my brothers and sisters up there,” he indicated upwards towards the armaros. “I believe that vessels, armaros, and angels are meant to retake back the world and the glory of old, to restore the celestial kingdom.”
I shook my head angrily. “I’m done here, Azrael. Either kill me or let me go.”
Suddenly, Azrael flew forward, coming to within an inch of my face.
“You think you are ‘good,’ Larin?” he hissed, and I withdrew from his ire, bumping backwards into a rack of swords. I eyed it hastily, considering my options. Azrael saw what I was thinking and threw back his head in laughter.
“EPHREIM!” he called loudly, and several vessels nearby started to indicate to each other quickly. One of them leapt into the air, obviously to seek him out. I shook my head, my eyes wide.
“No,” I whispered.
“Oh yes,” said Azrael, grinning.
“Larin, you are not so different from Ephreim than you think. From me. Do you think you are the Herald of Goodness? Allow me to laugh,” he said, and his face grew darker. “You have felt it yourself, your darkness. I can see it inside you, within you, brewing there, waiting for release.”
Ephreim returned moments later, landing at his master’s side. He turned and saw me, and stared at me with a look of shock, then hatred.
“My lord,” he snarled, looking at me.
I froze, unable to speak, unable to move. I stared into the eyes of Ephreim, and I fought against everything inside me not to pass out where I stood from raw emotion. It was like nothing I felt before. All I could remember was the ease with which Ephreim sliced through my brother’s body, ending his life as though he were flicking away a mosquito.
“What do you see when you look at him?” Azrael said, gesturing to Ephreim. He continued to regard me, and I knew he would happily have killed me where I stood.
“This creature here, who killed your brother mere inches away from where you stood, completely unable to help. Happily. Lustily. He enjoyed it, Larin. He wanted to do it. Would do it again.”
“Stop,” I whispered, turning my head back and forth slowly.
“Oh yes, you know it. You want to kill him, don’t you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered again, and Ephreim smirked. I felt the rage bubble below the surface.
“You’ve felt your darkness. I know more about you than you know. You were a product of a family who despised you, Larin. None cared for you, for your strife. For your hunger. For your loneliness. None came to your rescue. Where your father let you go without love, without the basic necessities of your life, others around you had that and more. They rubbed it in your face, Larin. Your supposed friends let you live in squalor, carrying on like fat hens while you never knew if you would be beaten to within an inch of your life at any given moment. Your teachers ignored it. Your brother did nothing to stop it. You were abandoned by life. And yet you seek to protect it? You think the world is such a wonderful place worth saving?”
I felt tears running down my face, and I did nothing to check them. I continued to stare at Ephreim as Azrael spoke. “You nearly died. You carried the bruises, the marks of your life, yet none cared enough to stop it. They cared only for their own happiness. Your friends - blissfully blind, weren’t they?”
“No,” I whimpered, shaking my head. “No, that’s not how. . .it wasn’t like. . .”
“Oh yes, Larin. You know it is true. Every day, everywhere, are countless others like you. The world feeds off the weak, the sick. It carries on, and all they care about is acquiring, acquiring, acquiring. The biggest house. The most money. The best possessions. While people like you, the weak, die. Suffer. Are ignored. Does this not make you angry?! Does this not appeal to your sense of justice? I
s the world truly such a wondrous place?”
I remembered the feeling however fleeting when I spoke to Kaila that night on the phone. The sense of anger I knew that she knew what my life had been. That neither she nor Gee had tried harder to intervene. To save me. Yet here I was, fighting to save them. Fighting constantly to save them and everything they knew. For what?
“What I propose is not so heinous, Larin. A purge of the wicked, the unclean,” he said, leaning closely into my face. I didn’t move, breathing heavily and looking forward with wide eyes. “Mankind has already destroyed what was left of Eden. The earth is a carcass. They pick at her bones gleefully. The world is full of that word you would use to describe me. . . ‘evil.’ Imagine one instead where Eden can be restored! Where angels and vessels live in harmony, the scourge of humanity wiped clean. Where there is no sickness. No hunger. No fear or betrayal,” he whispered the last words into my ear, and I saw a flash of my friends. Of Kaila and Gee as they sat at the benches in front of the school laughing, my absence already a distant point in their rear view. I began to feel a sense of anger, not for Azrael, but for them. . .for the world that had let me suffer, me and countless others suffer. . .
“No! Stop!” I screamed, knowing he was getting into my head. This wasn’t who I was. I was not an evil person!
“Then there are those like Ephreim here,” Azrael smiled, looking at his minion. Ephreim looked at his master, confused. “Those who enjoy sadism. Murder. Those who enjoy feeding off the weak like you. Killing people. Killing unarmed people. Your brother,” he hissed.
“NO!” I screamed, covering my ears.
“Do you want to kill him, Larin? Do you want to see him suffer, the way you suffered?”
There was silence. I felt my rage rising, upwards and upwards, choking me where I stood. It was as though I’d had an explosion inside me, and all I could see was pure, white-hot rage.
“Do you want to kill him?!” shouted Azrael. Something inside me snapped.
“Yes!” I screamed, picking up a sword from the rack behind me and lunging for Ephreim suddenly before I had any idea what I was actually doing. I acted on instinct, on rage and adrenaline. But I didn’t care, I just knew I wanted Ephreim’s blood.
Ephreim dodged my attack easily, and I fell on the ground behind him, sobbing.
“Did I tell you to move, Ephreim?!” Azrael shouted suddenly. Ephreim turned, looking at his master in surprise.
“Lord?” he asked, shaking his head.
“I told you not to move,” Azrael said in low tones. “Larin wants to kill you.” His demeanor was cold, matter-of-fact. Ephreim looked at Azrael in shock, then at me. He didn’t know what to do, that much was clear.
“Master. . .” Ephreim frowned, looking betrayed.
“You see, Ephreim, I believe Larin here can take your place. With the Herald as my Commander, I believe we will defeat the Council. Did you not profess your loyalty to me before? Did you not tell me you would “gladly die” if that was what I wanted? And now you question me?” Azrael snarled now, coming close to Ephreim. All Ephreim could do was shake his head, before turning back to look at me hatefully. He turned, opening his arms slowly, glaring at me in defeat and betrayal. He was going to let me do it.
I screamed, picking up the sword, and ran at Ephreim full force, before I stopped short at the last second, staring at him in the eye. I saw Ephreim’s mind working, trying to make sense of the betrayal, but coming to terms with it. He was a loyal. . .slave.
I dropped my sword, sinking slowly to my knees.
I blinked, coming back to my senses, feeling horror. This was not who I was. I was not a cold-blooded murderer. I was not a cold-blooded murderer. I stared blankly ahead, shaking my head slowly.
Azrael’s laughter was the only thing I could hear, louder than ever before.
“Take her to her chambers,” he barked to Ephreim, who turned and grabbed me roughly, pulling me to my feet and leading me away. I could hear Azrael’s laugh fade the further away we got, and I closed my eyes as the tears fell unchecked down my face.
Back at the Citadel, there was total chaos.
The vessels were turning the place on end, making every and any attempt to find clues about what happened to Larin. The archangels were furiously conferring, seeking leads with their contacts in the Order of Watchers, while endlessly interrogating the watch parties charged with guarding the Citadel. Larin’s abduction would have had to have resulted from an inside source. While they always suspected an informant, they were now convinced this was the case and that it was one of their own. What Larin didn’t know was that the Citadel was protected by a magic enchantment that made their location impossible to find if not already a disciple of the Council or one of its members. It was what had protected them for so long, hidden among the humans in plain sight but unable to be found in their home deep within the mountains. Only a member of the Citadel could have taken Larin unless she had somehow independently left its borders without their knowledge, something they knew not to be the case. She was still relatively newly-awakened and was the subject of visions and magic beyond her ability to comprehend. She had taken to their ways, understood the need for guidance. They knew that her disappearance was not of her own doing.
Michael had, lacking a better description, lost his senses. He had raged against the guards, admonishing them for their negligence in allowing her to slip past their defences. He would punish them, he threatened, they would be cast from the Citadel. The other Council members had had considerable difficulty containing Michael and his rage, but eventually, he was made to see reason and that composure and sensibility would prevail over panic. It was the first time in their history that their leader had become one whom they could not look to for guidance.
Raphael had shaken his head sadly and knew that his suspicions had become reality. Michael’s feelings for Larin had clouded his judgment, his sense of reason. He’d only ever seen him like this once before when he’d lost his first love so long ago. They had never spoken of her, and Raphael knew not to mention it now. Her loss had been too damaging then, he did not want to risk Michael revisiting that past dark place in his mind. This time was different, though. Michael had taken to Larin so quickly, so profoundly and passionately that his reaction now reflected his compulsion towards her. But despite Michael’s emotional chaos, they rallied together and focused their efforts on developing a plan of action.
“How do we know this was not her plan all along?” Uriel suddenly demanded in the War Room as the others conferred. “How do we know she did not seek out Azrael on her own, to achieve her own ends?”
“Are you mad, brother?” Michael yelled, coming close enough to Uriel that he felt his breath hotly on his face. For a moment, he thought Michael would strike him. “Are you truly insane? Do you truly believe that Larin would seek out the one who sanctioned the death of her own blood? Condone the actions of the one who killed her own brother?”
Uriel pushed Michael back forcefully, and Raphael and Gabriel came between them both, holding them apart.
“Brothers, stop this!” yelled Gabriel angrily, then turned his head to Michael. “You are not thinking rationally!”
“Your anger and hostility towards Larin have not escaped notice, Uriel,” snapped Michael, ignoring Gabriel completely and fighting against Raphael to be released. “You fear what she is, what she represents. I want to know why!”
“You want to know why I what?” Uriel yelled back, “Why I think it is impossible that some waif of a girl heralds the return of our beloved seraphim?” The last words were said with a sneer and sarcasm. The others in the room looked at Uriel in shock.
“Brother, do you not wish for their return?” asked Raphael, eyeing Uriel strangely. “It would be a blessed day, for their return would mean an end to Azrael’s reign of evil upon this earth. Mattatron, our leader, will lead the world back to the light. You know this!”
“Would it truly, though? End the evil?” asked Uriel, more quietly now.
“Or would it mean more war, more chaos, and strife? The reason Father left us here in the first place, to rot and dwell in this world of evil and death!”
Gabriel let go of Michael, who strode forward, putting a hand on Uriel’s shoulder and looking into his eyes. His anger had dissipated, and he felt guilty for his earlier accusations. He looked at Uriel, speaking gently.
“Brother,” he said quietly, “is that what you truly believe? That Father has forsaken us here, only to watch the world burn around us?”
“Truthfully, I do not know what I believe anymore,” Uriel admitted, looking down. This was met with silence. Michael turned and sighed, placing his hands on the table and lowering his head. The others continued to stare but remained quiet.
“There have often been times when I, too, have felt I would lose faith,” Michael began, speaking softly. “There have been times that I have questioned our purpose here. That I have even felt anger. . .perhaps betrayal, that we were cast from the kingdom despite our loyalty to our divine principles. That we were cast here with the likes of Azrael and our brothers and sisters who betrayed our purpose, as though we too were punished for their loss of faith.” He looked up suddenly and walked to the window, gazing outside and folding his arms.
“I have felt anger that our other brethren were not cast out, as we were, those who were also loyal to the Council and to our Father. That they remained in the holy kingdom, while we were sent here to oversee a battle seemingly without end.”
Gabriel walked hesitantly towards Michael. “Brother, how do you speak such things?” he asked in soft tones.
“Because I understand Uriel’s anger,” Michael replied, turning to look upon the faces of all his brothers. “I understand the sense of loss. I have felt it too, and I believe you have as well.” There was no response, and he continued. “But those moments pass, and I remember why we were made. What we were meant to do. I believe that Father gave us the gift of choice to use it as we saw fit, but with the hope that we would have faith. That we would continue to carry out our purpose, that we would continue to fight for good in the face of evil.”
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