I sat down on the stone bench we had arrived at, letting out a breath of relief. The sounds of nature carried on around us, oblivious to our presence. I reached back and plucked a small, white flower from the bushes that lined the path, bringing it to my nose and smelling its sweet scent. It was so wonderful being back outside, back in the sunlight. Tristan and Michael had walked slowly away, engaged in some discussion of Council matters. Chase and Lyric were chatting idly with two others, and I saw Greyson had joined them. He smiled respectfully, nodding in my direction. I smiled back apologetically, remembering my promise to speak to the Council on Iris’s behalf to see if I could get her out of trouble. It hadn’t gone well, but I hoped he knew I had at least made the effort.
As the memory came back, I suddenly heard a voice beside me.
“Larin. . .” Iris said, and I looked sharply over to her in surprise. Speak of the devil. I stared at her suspiciously, imagining for a moment she intended some further harm against me. I stood up quickly, the action making me dizzy, and I fell roughly back down onto the bench.
Michael was instantly beside me, taking my hand and looking into my face. “Are you alright, my love?” he asked quietly. I nodded that I was, and he turned around and looked ferociously at Iris. Even I couldn’t help but recoil.
“Iris, you are not to speak to Larin again, you are not to approach her, you are not to do anything that involves her without explicit permission from the Council! That was the condition of your release, what about it did you not understand?” he barked, and she shrank back, shame apparent in her face. Gabriel shook his head disapprovingly at her, and she cringed.
“I had to risk it. I needed to speak to her,” she whispered, looking down.
“Iris!” Tristan cried angrily. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Guys, guys!” I said, rising again to my feet. “For crying out loud, relax! I’m a big girl, let me decide who is and isn’t allowed to speak to me, okay?” Michael turned his head around to regard me, surprised.
“Is it your wish to speak to Iris, Larin, after what she’s done?” he asked, but without the harsh tones of earlier. I regarded Iris, her cheeks burning hotly with humiliation. I felt sorry for her. And I couldn’t imagine that she would recreate her earlier actions. I remembered as well that Tristan and she had previously been involved in some way or another, and I couldn’t imagine someone as thoughtful as Tristan giving his affections over to anyone who wasn’t deserving. I nodded at Michael, indicating I wanted to hear what she had to say.
“Iris, it’s okay,” I said softly. “What do you need?” She looked at me in shock, her mouth opening and closing as she decided what to say.
“I just. . . I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. There is absolutely nothing I can say that could excuse my actions. They were reprehensible. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but I honestly meant it before. I wouldn’t have let you come to any harm. I just, I shouldn’t have done it, and that’s all there is to it. No justification, no nothing. I’m just very sorry, and I needed you to know that,” she finished, bowing her head at me. Then she did something that surprised everyone. She came forward and knelt before me.
“I pledge my allegiance to you, Larin. My life. It is the only way I can show you that I am serious, that I truly am sorry. So, I offer you my life to do with as you will, whenever you see fit, however you see fit. I acknowledge your status as the Herald of the seraphim, and all that goes along with it.” Nobody spoke, all of us staring at Iris in shock. I looked at Tristan’s face and saw he was regarding her with a soft, tender expression. He was proud of her. Michael was staring at me, watching to see what I would do. I shrugged at him to indicate I did not understand what to do. Instead, I sighed, looking back at Iris.
“Iris, get up,” I said quietly. “I. . . I accept your apology. I understand what it feels like to lose someone. I lost my brother that night too. It does something to your mind, no matter how strong you think you are, no matter how much you want to put it behind you. I forgive you. The rest of it”—I gestured at her kneeling position—“isn’t necessary, honestly. You’ve already been punished, I don’t want to add to it any further. Let’s let bygones be bygones, okay?” I said.
Iris rose slowly, looking at me in surprise. Just as quickly, she looked at me in a professional manner, nodding. “As you wish, Herald. Thank you for your graciousness.”
I reached out my hand and she stared at it a moment, before taking it and squeezing it warmly.
“Friends?” I asked, grinning. She nodded, grinning back.
“Friends.”
I turned and watched her walk away with Greyson and Tristan and felt truly happy. Everything seemed like it would be okay after all. I looked at Michael and saw him regarding me with a look that seeped with love, and I returned it gratefully. Chase laughed out loud, momentarily startling me before I too started laughing, unable to resist Chase’s good humor.
“Well, will you look at that,” he said. “And they said there were no miracles left in the world.” Even Michael and Gabriel joined in our laughter, just as Raphael arrived.
“Michael, Uriel has been informed by the Order that there is a Jhākri healer among the Nepali who may have given Azrael access to one of the blood scrolls,” Raphael said, “if this is the case, we may have our answer about how Azrael was able to start the mass awakenings.”
Michael looked up in shock. “But that would mean he would have had to find a catalyst to invoke the blood oath,” he said, and the others nodded. I looked from face to face, as though they were speaking a foreign language, not comprehending. Gabriel looked at me.
“It means that he found an old magic weapon, if it’s true,” he explained. “He would have to find a creature strong enough - to have enough power to wake up the vessel armies. He could have used the scroll to force a creature of great magic to do his will, to bind him to a promise of an exchange. We have to investigate the possibility,” he finished.
“Leviathan?” Michael asked, looking at his brothers. They shrugged, but the possibility ran behind their eyes.
“If Azrael has found him, if that evil creature survived the Fall, then that would certainly make sense. Leviathan is a creature of greed and ancient magic. He may have convinced Azrael to risk killing the guardians in exchange for the vessels awakening,” Raphael said. Michael and Gabriel looked at each other.
“I must speak with Uriel,” Michael said, turning towards me as though to collect me.
I sat down, suddenly exhausted. Michael reached out, and I shook my head.
“I’m staying here,” I said, feeling I needed more rest and not wanting to leave the sunshine for more tactics and strategizing. I was very weary of all of it and had nothing of worth to contribute to the discussion.
“You cannot be left alone, Larin,” Michael frowned at me.
“It is alright, Michael, go see to Uriel. I will stay with Larin until she is ready to return to her chambers,” Gabriel offered. I looked at him gratefully. Michael nodded, turning to leave.
“Very well, thank you, brother,” he said, looking back at me and giving me a warm smile. I returned it, feeling a slight blush as I thought about our reunion later. It didn’t go unnoticed by Michael, who smirked and leapt off with Raphael.
“That’s crazy! Leviathan!” Chase, who had been content to listen for once, finally spoke up. Lyric looked at him curiously.
“He’s an ancient monster, almost as old as the archangels themselves. Maybe older,” Chase explained, looking between Lyric and me. “He’s basically a gigantic snake, lives in an underwater cave or something. I read about him a few times in the books around here. Not a very nice guy, either.”
Gabriel nodded, looking into the distance.
“Let us hope we never have to find out,” he said quietly. “For all we know it is merely a coincidence and Leviathan is long-dead.” There was more silence. I closed my eyes, tired of there always being something dark and sinister pressing against us. Just moments ago, I had
felt a little lighter. Happier. It never seemed to last.
“Just another day in paradise,” I sighed.
Gabriel turned to Chase, beckoning him closer for instruction. “I have a task for you.” Chase puffed up, looking at Lyric importantly. “I would like for you to go to the library and pull all of the texts you can find about blood covenants and Leviathan. Perhaps they will provide us with leads on how to find the creature.”
Chase nodded, saluting Gabriel officially. The latter smiled, nodding back. Chase turned with Lyric, and the two took off in a flash of black feathers.
“He is a loyal vessel, that one,” Gabriel said. I smiled, watching them leave.
“That he is,” I agreed.
Gabriel put his hands behind his back, and let out a tremendous sigh, looking down at the ground as he walked forward. I pursed my lips sympathetically. I knew he carried such responsibility, it must be very overwhelming at times. He met my eyes, and I smiled warmly at him. I could feel him wanting to say something, and I looked at him curiously. Something was. . .off.
“Gabriel?” I asked, shifting uncomfortably on the stone bench. “Are you okay? Michael told me about. . .your trip. . .”
Gabriel looked at me sharply. “Of course, he did,” he whispered in response, closing his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “it must have been terribly upsetting. I just wanted you to know, if you needed to talk about it—” but I was cut off shortly.
“If I wanted to talk about what? How frightful it was to see the one we once called ‘Brother,’ the favored son of our father, now the most hated creature in all of existence?” he asked, and I saw a cloud pass over his face, his jaw tightening. He looked at me fiercely, his face changing to one of anger.
“Do you want to know the truth of how I feel, Larin? The truth is, I hated him. I hated him for so long. I blamed him for causing us to be cast from the kingdom of the divine, from the side of our father. I hated him for what he did to us. He believed that man was a scourge on the face of the world, that man would destroy everything Father had built to create. That Father had been blinded in his love for these feeble animals whose love of power and whose greed would corrupt them utterly. I hated that he did not have faith in Father’s belief that man was more than what Lucifer or Azrael would have us believe. I hated that it resulted in this. . .this life. That we were sent here to fight time and time again a losing battle. For the truth is. . .” he said, trailing off.
“The truth is, I came to see that they were right.”
I felt my mouth drop open, and I started to slowly rise from my seat, shaking my head.
“What. . .what are you saying, Gabriel?” I asked slowly, feeling a sense of dread creeping up inside my chest. I started to back away, shaking my head further, closing my eyes and swallowing tightly.
“I’m saying he was right, Larin. Man has proven Lucifer was right! Time and time again, he has taken the gifts Father gave him and squandered them. Man has created a world of discord, of sickness, of poverty and filth! Instead of compassion and goodness, man has constantly demonstrated a propensity for great, great evil! The wars of their own making, the destruction of their own civilizations. Murders of their own women and children. Weapons of mass destruction. . . man is intent on their own demise. And yet we fought - continue to fight to protect them. To protect them from themselves. Over and over and over and over again. There is nothing redeeming about the horrors they have created with their own hands!”
I looked around frantically, knowing I had to get to Michael. Gabriel was losing. . .had already lost his mind. I felt suddenly at that moment very afraid, and I looked back at Gabriel, feeling tears form in my eyes.
“Gabriel, no. . .” I whispered, “Gabriel you know. . .you know that’s not true. Man is capable of terrible evils, yes, but they are also capable of great wonders! Of great love! Look at the incredible things they have accomplished. The great works they have made with their own hands! Not all humankind is bad, Gabriel! You know this! You have spent an eternity fighting to protect the good in them. You can’t possibly be questioning everything now. . .everything you have done to protect humanity!”
“Can’t I?” he demanded angrily, approaching me suddenly. I gasped and fell backwards, landing heavily and looking up at him with fear. “Can’t I? Why shouldn’t I question it? When the evil outweighs the good. When the darkness is all you can see anymore. You have no idea what it was like. . .before. What Eden was. It was magnificent. But it, like everything else, was taken utterly for granted. Mankind found a way to even corrupt that magnificent world. I have come to believe that Lucifer was right all along. Man should never have been gifted such glory. They did not deserve it and have proven time and time again that they never will! I had hoped once that they would earn that right. That they would prove Lucifer wrong, but they have only ever reinforced what he believed. That they never deserved it and never will!”
I tried desperately to scramble to my feet, but Gabriel came up behind me and shoved me down roughly.
“Man needs to be purged from this existence, Larin,” he whispered. “Father is not coming back. I know this now. If ever he was going to, that time is long past. He has given in to his despair, and so too have I. So, I realized, it made sense. . .what Lucifer and Azrael proposed. We bring Eden back for him. We recreate it in the glory he had first envisioned it! But in order to do that, man must first. . .die.” He looked at me, and I saw a glint in his eye I’d never seen before. Madness.
“You’re the informant,” I whispered, shaking my head. “You gave me over to Azrael!” I then cried, accusingly. Gabriel sighed, turning his head away from me.
“Yes,” he said simply.
“You’re insane,” I said, tears falling unchecked down my cheeks. I was shaking uncontrollably, unable to wrap my head around what was happening. He looked at me sadly.
“No Larin, I’m finally sane. I finally see. I love my Council Brothers more than my own life. But I see now, they will never understand. They will never accept what needs to be done until it is done. Until they see the truth in what Lucifer and Azrael have said all along. That the Celestial Kingdom can be restored. That we can bring about Eden in the way it was always meant to be. One clean of man, unhindered in its perfection, in its glory. Restored, but more glorious than ever before!”
“No. Gabriel, no,” I cried. I reached up, trying to touch him, as though I could change his mind. To get him to come back to reality. He pushed me back roughly, then eyed me with something I could only describe as pity and regret.
“Larin,” he said softly. “It is a shame you could not come with us. That you declined the gift Azrael offered to you. You could have had a seat at the table of the Most High. Now, you will be left behind. I want you to know. . . I am sorry for what I am about to do. But it has to be done.” I turned frantically, trying desperately to get up.
“Help!” I shrieked, as loudly as I could. “Somebody!!!! Help!”
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered, coming up behind me and grasping my wings with both hands, placing a leg on the space on my back between where my wings met. I screamed, my wings flapping wildly, trying to dislodge his grip.
“What are you doing?! Gabriel STOP!” I screamed and felt a sickening, agonizing sensation as he began to pull my wings away from my body. I screamed and I screamed, feeling as though my body was being incinerated piece by piece. My arms flailed wildly in front of me, while my eyes closed tightly in pain. I fought him as much as I could, but Gabriel was an archangel, and far, far stronger than I could ever hope to be. A ripping sound could be heard behind me, and never before had I imagined such pain could be possible. The agony was unbelievable, excruciating, and my screams stopped in my throat, the pain too intense for my body to even be able to produce a sound to describe it.
The world exploded around me, within me, above and below me. My eyes rolled back in my head, and I landed forwards on my stomach.
I could not process conscious thought
anymore. My brain was being subjected to bolts of lighting inside it, scrambling and rescrambling as though rebooting, shutting down, and rebooting again. The side of my face rested upon the coolness of the earth, and I convulsed. The last thing I remember was watching two great, white wings disappearing into the distance, two black wings floating lifelessly behind, dripping with red.
Dripping with my blood.
No!!!
Take her to the medical bay. . .
She cannot die. . . Where is. . .
. . . sounds. Meaningless.
The world had ended, for me at least.
There were more sounds, more shuffling noises. I was being turned, wrapped in something. . .a cloak? I closed my eyes again, trying to drown out the activity around me. There was a strange, gray shade to everything. I felt bereft, lost. There was no meaning to anything anymore.
Weeping.
Was it mine? Or someone else? closed my eyes, caring little about the sounds as they carried on around me. I felt a great sadness, no, I felt another’s sadness. I couldn’t place it in my mind. Everything was felt, seen and heard through the abstract. None of it made sense. I found I lacked the desire to even try to make sense of anything anymore. It was so cold. So very cold.
I wanted to disappear, to curl up into a ball and let myself be carried into the abyss. . .
She’s dying. . .
She won’t make it, we have to cauterize now. . .
I think I flinched, a feeling of searing pain over my body and along my back. My arms hung loosely as I was being carried somewhere.
Please. . .
Don’t die. . . please. . .
There was a flash of light.
I opened my eyes, and I found I was standing up, whole and well. I was in the glade where Michael and I had first professed to care for each other. I thought absently that that was a lifetime ago.
Herald Page 29