***
Joel and I work in silence for the rest of the day. I sigh in relief when he leaves the office and I’m finally left alone. Taking a deep breath, I wait a full five minutes before leaving, hoping there’ll be no chance I’ll see him outside. No such luck, however. He’s talking to one of the blonde fakes when I close the door. I try not to groan out loud seeing him and quickly move passed them. As soon as he sees me, he starts saying goodbye to all the blonde fakes and I inwardly sigh. Was he waiting for me?
We walk out together, still in silence, and I realize that he’s following me as I head to MAY to meet up with Dana.
“What are you doing?” My stomach flips apprehensively.
“Walking this way.” Joel points straight ahead.
“I figured that much. Why?” A nervous energy swirls in my stomach. Every day that I have seen him leave work he has always crossed the road and moved north, not once has he ever come this way.
“Why am I walking straight ahead? It’s always safer to walk in a straight line, Zoe.” I ignore how much I like it when he says my name.
“What?” I’m confused and I’m getting frustrated at myself for the way my body is reacting to having him so close to me. I’m flustered, shaky and my eyes are focused solely on the way he moves rather than the pavement in front of me. I’m one stumble from falling over in front of him. Why is he torturing me like this? Why am I letting him torture me like this? If I’m only going to have just over a week left on this world, then I don’t want to waste it on someone who seems like a jerk.
“The better question is where are you taking us?” He smiles shamelessly at me and I nearly lose my footing as we cross the road and the level of the ground changes.
“Us?” I instantly pick up on his use of that word.
“Yeah, us.”
I use my fingers to indicate to both him and I. “We are not going anywhere.”
“Sure we are, and right now, we’re going straight ahead.”
I decide the best course of action is to ignore him. So I say nothing more to him and continue walking towards MAY. I stare straight ahead this time. However, I can’t stop how conscious I am of how close together we’re walking. A couple of times, our hands touch as we bump into each other. I hate how hyper-aware I’m feeling and wish it would go away. Sooner than I like, we reach the entrance of MAY and, unfortunately, Joel is still in tow. I see Dana straight away, standing at the bar. No stools left today. I walk over to her and before I can get a word out, Joel is standing right beside me, his hand out in front of him.
“Hi, I’m Joel; a friend of Zoe’s from work.”
I stare at him, horrified, but he doesn’t break eye contact with Dana to see it. What if Dana tells him she knows who he is? Then he’ll know I’ve been talking about him to her. So many embarrassing things could happen right now.
“Hi, Joel, I’m Dana. It’s nice to meet you.” Dana breaks out in the biggest smile I have seen her display in a long while and I know she knows exactly who he is. Really, how many incredibly hot Joel’s do I know? It isn’t a stretch for her to put the pieces together. Now I just really need her to keep those pieces to herself.
Slightly awkwardly, we all order drinks and I wait for Joel and Dana to both sit on the couches. Dana sits on our usual couch and Joel sits down on the couch opposite so he’s facing Dana. I know it’s childish, but I make sure to sit next to Dana so Joel is alone. The only problem with that is now I’m facing him.
There’s an uncomfortable silence and Dana nudges my arm, obviously hoping I’ll say something, but I don’t know what. Instead, I try to decipher what Joel’s thinking as he contemplates us.
I’m surprised when he quietly laughs to himself, probably coming to a conclusion on whatever he’s thinking about.
“Oh, are you two together?” He points at both of us. Before I can work out what he’s trying to imply, Drew walks over to us and says hello. He gives Dana a kiss as usual and then he looks over at Joel. I know I’m supposed to introduce him since I’m the one who knows him, yet I don’t want any part of Drew and Dana getting to know him. Why is he here? What is he trying to prove?
“Hey man, I’m Joel.” He holds out his hand and Drew shakes it instantly.
“Hey, I’m Drew, Dana’s boyfriend.”
Joel looks our way again and smiles.
Drew looks at me expectantly and I’m thankful Dana and I have never spoken about Joel in front of him. Drew is horrible at keeping anything to himself. “I work with Joel.” It’s the only way I can think to explain why he’s here.
“Oh, are you two together?” Drew asks, pointing at Joel and me and, as he says the words, it clicks; I realize what Joel was implying only a moment ago.
“Jerk! Just because I sit next to a girl doesn’t automatically make us lesbians.” I lean over and kick him hard in the shins. He rubs his leg gingerly and I hope it hurts.
“Ouch. I didn’t say you were lesbians,” he complains, but his lips turn slightly upwards at the sides and I know he’s trying to keep a smile in.
“Yeah, but you were thinking it,” I accuse, trying to decide quickly if I should apologize for kicking him. That seems very aggressive now and not something I would normally do.
“Oh, so you can read my thoughts now?” He rolls his eyes at me and any thoughts of apologizing disappear.
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out,” I counter, crossing my arms over my chest.
Drew and Dana laugh at our argument and I don’t understand why. Can’t we leave and go to a different couch? Or better yet, can’t Joel just go away? This is my quality time with Dana. How am I supposed to talk to her when Joel is around? Sure Drew is here, too, but I have known him for years; he is practically a girl to me. He’s heard all Dana and my girl talk. Joel is different. I can’t talk openly in front of him.
“Well, they do act like a typical couple. Could it be true; Zoe settling down with someone?” Drew asks Dana and she smugly smiles back at him in reply.
“What? No way are we a—” I can’t even say the word couple. It’s just wrong, really wrong. My instincts scream at me to run away from this place and from Joel so strongly that I have to grab hold of the edge of the couch to stop myself from moving. I have no idea where it comes from. I slowly feel the panic pass and it’s replaced with a strong urge to hit Drew.
“Well, it’s not like you’ve given me the impression that says you wouldn’t be a lesbian,” Joel says to me, completely embarrassing me in the process.
“What are you talking about?” I turn my glare onto Joel now.
He casually shrugs at me. “Well, you barely seem to notice me and girls generally can’t help but notice me. Then you came here to meet a woman.”
“Are you serious? Because I don’t drool over you,” I ignore the snort Dana makes and I hope Joel didn’t hear, “and I have a female friend, that makes me gay in your book?”
“Well—” Joel starts to say something idiotic no doubt, but Drew interrupts.
“I would give up while you’re behind. Come on; let’s go to the bar and get a drink.” Drew moves over to the bar and Joel follows.
As soon as they are out of hearing range Dana pushes me lightly in the shoulder.
“What?”
“Why are you sitting with me? Go sit with Joel!” She pushes me again in the arm.
“No, I—”
“Zee, don’t be silly. You’re a grown woman and this isn’t second grade,” she lectures me. “By the way, how you described him doesn’t do him justice. He’s better than amazing. He’s perfect! I think I might lose myself in his eyes, too. How can you even be in the same room and work?” She winks at me and I roll my eyes at her.
“Dana, please, can’t we leave. I really just want to get out of here.” The bad feeling overwhelms me again and I want to run away from Joel and this bar, never looking back.
“Oh, come on; he’s hot and you have seriously been lacking in the romance department
lately. This is a good thing and it looks like he’s brought you a drink. Give him a shot. He’s Joel! The same Joel you have been talking about for the past couple of weeks!”
“Dana…” I groan, dropping my head into my hands.
“Please, just give it a shot, Zee. I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay. It’s just been awhile since you’ve been in this situation. Your feelings are normal. Now do me a favor and ignore them.”
I sigh heavily. Maybe she’s right? Wait. Who am I kidding? Of course she’s right. Dana knows me better than I know myself.
I stand up and sit on the couch Joel only recently vacated, continuing to feel reluctant. Dana gives me an encouraging smile, however my body just can’t seem to relax and I remain uptight.
I look up to see Joel standing next to me holding out a drink. I feel another wave of nerves, but I swallow them and take Joel’s offered drink from his hand and shuffle over as he collapses onto the couch, spilling his drink a bit as he does. He smiles sheepishly at me and wipes away the wet spot on his jacket and my insides melt a little. I definitely could get used to seeing him smile at me like that.
“So, what do you do?” Joel asks Dana just as Drew collapses down beside her. Unlike Joel, he manages to keep his beer in his glass. I feel bad that I didn’t start the conversation and it’s probably unfair that Joel has, but I honestly have no clue what to say. Besides, I didn’t invite him here, so I can’t be blamed for my bad manners.
“I manage a book store, down on Spring Lane. It’s called—”
“A Novel Idea?” Joel laughs and I know my cheeks just went bright red. Is he going to blurt out what I said about Tim? If he finds out Tim is gay, will he tell the fake blondes? They’ll hate me even more then.
“You know it? I don’t think I’ve seen you around…” Dana stares at Joel carefully.
“I actually just walked past it yesterday. I wanted to see what Zoe was raving so much about.”
“You’ve been raving about my store?” Dana looks touched and I smile back at her.
“I said I would…”
“Well, she’s been raving about a guy that works there.” Joel seems more intense now, perhaps hoping to get more of an answer out of Dana than what he got from me.
“What guy?”
“Someone called Tim?” Joel watches Dana carefully and I cringe hearing her begin to laugh.
“Tim?” Drew laughs, too, and I can tell Joel is confused by their reactions.
I quickly join the conversation before they also think I have the hots for Tim. “I might have mentioned Tim to the blonde fakes.” I speak my nickname for them before remembering I’m next to Joel and inwardly cringe. My life really is going to be hell on Monday.
“The blonde fakes?” Joel asks me. He doesn’t seem angry, but maybe I just don’t know him well enough to know when he is angry.
“Some blonde bitches at your work; you must know them?” Dana questions Joel and I prepare myself for a response of outrage and anger from him. Instead, I hear him laughing.
“Oh yeah, I know them.”
“So you told them what about Tim?” Dana asks curiously. Her cheeks have gone pink from the alcohol and Drew clasps her small hand in his. It’s all so natural for them. Their love simply goes without saying. They fit together perfectly, they always have. There is never going to be anyone else for Dana or Drew. Will I have that someday with someone?
“I perhaps mentioned he is recently single,” I innocently answer, dragging my train of thought back to the conversation at hand.
“Oh, did he break up with Peter?” Drew asks Dana just as Joel takes another sip from his beer and then immediately sprays it all over himself from laughing so hard. I have never seen Joel laugh before. The smile on his face, after he regains his composure, makes my heart beat just that bit faster. He has such a great smile. I look away before he notices me staring. Dana smiles knowingly at me and I realize she has seen my reaction to Joel’s smile.
“Sorry, did you say he broke up with Peter?” Joel asks with that ridiculously happy smile still on his face.
“Yeah, Peter Blackwall. Do you know him?”
Joel shakes his head no, he doesn’t know him and continues to chuckle.
“Why is he laughing so much?” Drew directs his question at me.
I shrug back. I have no idea why he feels the need to laugh this much over something so little.
“Did you tell the girls he’s gay, Zoe?” Dana asks me suspiciously.
“I maybe forgot to mention it.” I shrug at Dana.
“So why have they been spending so much money at the store and not just staring at him? ‘Cause they’ve bought a lot of books. I can’t imagine them feeling the need to read much. Can they read?” She snorts.
Dana doesn’t know the blonde fakes, but as soon as she saw me crying over the horrible things I overheard, she took it on herself to dislike them without question. If she was able to hate someone I think she would hate them, but she’s such a lovely, open-hearted person that hate simply doesn’t really fit her personality. A year ago, a car rear-ended her at a red light; completely the other person’s fault, but Dana ended up comforting them. She doesn’t hold any ill will towards anyone except the blonde fakes and her boss Hank, when he’s being an ass.
“I maybe said that he prefers a girl who likes to read.”
“Zoe, that’s brilliant.” Drew raises his drink to me. “And how are your sales doing this week, Dana?”
“Well, we also put loads of flyers around, so we’ve already sold more in two days than we would normally sell in one full week.” Dana laughs and I find myself smiling.
Drew turns to Dana and they begin to quietly speak amongst themselves while I sigh, knowing that I’m now stuck with Joel.
“So are you going to thank me for the drink?” he questions me jokingly. I can hear a fumble in his voice. Is he nervous?
I look down at my half empty drink and feel guilty that I didn’t say thank you when he first gave it to me.
“Here, I have some money.” I lean down and grab my bag. He grabs my wrist to stop me and an electric shock bolts up from where his hand touches my skin, making me quickly suck in my breath in surprise. He instantly withdraws his hand. I’m not sure if it’s because he felt it, too, or because of my reaction.
Again, I feel such an urge to run and it’s getting harder to ignore. I can’t help wondering if my body is acting this way for a different reason. Are my instincts trying to tell me something about Joel? That I should leave now? Get away from him? Or is Dana right, am I merely feeling nervous?
“Sorry. Don’t worry about it, my treat.” He’s acting uneasy now and he glances around the room, ignoring me. I still feel his hand on my wrist, as if he’s still touching me. I want it to go away so I rub at my wrist until the feeling is gone.
“Thank you.”
“Huh?” His mind has obviously already drifted somewhere else.
“For the drink.” A feeling of inadequacy hits me and I wish this didn’t feel so hard.
“Are you guys up to going somewhere else?” Drew speaks before I can even think of something else to say to Joel.
“Somewhere else?” I ask him, nervous that they want us to leave them alone. I’m not ready to be alone with Joel. I can imagine all the embarrassing things I’ll say, the words I’ll fumble over. I have to work with this guy on Monday and I really need to not make an idiot of myself.
“Yeah, there’s a club down the street that’s supposed to be pretty good, the owner is one of Sam’s friends. He can get us in.” Drew quickly gulps down the last of his drink and Dana has already finished hers.
I’m definitely not too eager about this plan. What will get me out of this? Tired? Dinner already planned at home with Mom? There is paint I have to watch dry? As I try to think of a good excuse I see Joel pick up his drink and down it in one shot.
“Sounds great to me.” He looks at me expectantly now and I gaze back silently, my th
oughts scrambling to keep up.
What is he doing? What is he up to?
“I guess, maybe we can check it out.” Clubs and I don’t really mix, but I feel pressure from both Joel and Dana to say yes. I, too, finish my drink off and we all get up to leave. Joel’s hand lightly touches my back as he makes room for me to pass him and it takes my breath away.
That definitely needs to stop happening.
Taken By Surprise Page 5