by Kent, Rina
My eyes go wide. Holy crap. This must have been some of the stuff covered when I was inabsentia. My smile inches up. Yeah, Briar, what kind of—?
“Psychoanalytic,” Briar replies woodenly.
Mr. Veroza seems momentarily at a loss for words but as he opens his mouth, Briar cuts him off.
“Psychoanalytics consider depression a result of the unconscious activity of the mind.”
“Yes, well, very good.” Veroza shifts on his feet before lifting his chin in defiance of Briar’s intellect. “Now, please pay attention.”
As soon as Veroza turns his attention away, Briar lets out a low chuckle.
I don’t know why, but despite how ominous that sound is, it kinda makes my insides go all gooey. Maybe it’s just because he’s proven he can actually read and regurgitate a textbook, I dunno.
And I don’t care.
Briar isn’t smart, he’s cunning. Like a wolf. Which means he’s set his eyes on me as prey.
For some insane reason I can’t begin to fathom, the thought sends an illicit thrill through me.
I’m still scribbling down a few pithy notes from the blackboard when the bell rings to signal the end of the period.
Briar’s been surprisingly quiet for the rest of the lesson, even when Veroza went into the hall for a few minutes to take a phone call. I haven’t dared look around once — even when I saw movement behind me — because I don’t want to catch feels again.
Briar walks past my table, but pauses right by the door.
“What? I snap, when Briar just keeps looking down at me.
“I was just imagining something.”
When I look up and see the suggestive smile playing on his mouth, I grimace. “You’re disgusting,” I say, gathering my things so I can stand and get the hell out of here.
“Because I can’t wait to see what you’re wearing under that skirt?”
My eyes go wide. I snarl and stand in a rush, lunging around my desk. Briar’s hands go up in mock surrender, a deep laugh bursting from him.
I don’t get very far. Where I was picturing my hands around his throat, throttling him until he begged for mercy, I instead trip up and fall face-first to the ground.
I’d been moving so fast, my lungs are knocked clean out of air. Gasping like a beached fish, I twist onto my side and stare down at my feet, which for some reason forgot how to move.
My shoelaces are knotted together.
Everyone still inside the class bursts into laughter. I push onto my knees, glaring up at Briar. He steps closer, grabs my chin, and tilts my head back so far my neck clicks.
“See? Everyone bows to the prince,” he murmurs, those words meant for my ears alone. He rakes ice-blue eyes over me. Where he touches me, my skin tingles.
I tear my chin free and fall back. Moving awkwardly, I get my feet in front of me and start undoing my laces.
It had to be him of course. And someone must have seen him do it — we were sitting right in front — but no one said a word.
The laughter fades as students leave. Briar stays to watch me working furiously at the knots, as if proud that he did such a good job.
Mr. Veroza appears, brow wrinkled. “Ms. Virgo? Everything all right?”
“Yeah,” I mutter, dropping my eyes. “Tripped on my shoelaces.”
Briar reaches out a hand and grabs my arm, hauling me up. “You make sure they’re real tight this time, Indigo.”
My snarl transforms into a tight smile which I turn to Mr. Veroza.
Yeah, I can tell him. And suffer the wrath Briar will no doubt shovel on my head. Instead, I’ll just turn the other cheek. Because, guess what?
If an animal goes long enough without eating, it fucking starves.
Briar
When I get into the hall, Indigo’s nowhere in sight. She must have sprinted down the hall for me not to see her.
I smile to myself and head for my locker to put my books away before lunch. And here I thought my week was going to be same as usual. I’m kinda glad I stumbled into Indigo in the woods last night.
But I guess she isn’t. I close my locker. Marcus is beside it, leaning with his back against the locker next to mine and tugging discreetly on his vape as he watches everyone move past us.
“Dylan said Cindy got it all on her phone,” he says, before I can even open my mouth. “They’re busy circulating it already.”
“Good,” I murmur, allowing myself a small smile.
“So I got my stuff in the car,” Marcus says. “Still cool if I come over.”
“Course.” I wave at him, frowning slightly. “You know it is.”
I take a second to scan my friend. His mood’s improved a little with this whole Indi thing, but he’s still standing stiff and proper.
“You see your dad this morning?” I ask casually, my eyes on my locker as I hunt around for one of my textbooks.
“Nah,” he says through a sigh. “He’s got some big project he’s working on that’ll keep him busy for a while.”
“In Lavish?”
“Un-fucking-fortunately,” Marcus says, shaking his head. “Should only be for a day or two though. That okay?”
I slam my locker closed, turn, and grab the side of Marcus’s neck. “Dude, I said it’s fine. For fuck’s sake.”
Marcus drops his eyes and gives me a small nod. “Thanks, man.”
“No need to thank me. But you’re buying the pizza tonight.”
He laughs, and waves at me as he heads away. Then he turns, walking backward. “What’s next for her?”
There are a few kids around us, but they all know by now not to pay attention to me or even attempt to eavesdrop. Then again, I couldn’t give a shit if the whole school knew I have Indi in my crosshairs. Maybe then she’ll realize she’s better off being somewhere else, far away from me, and too far away to do any damage.
“I’ll text you,” I say, lifting my chin. Marcus gives me a thumbs-up and disappears up the stairs.
I let out a low chuckle as I run my hands through my hair and head for class. Around me, students part like water around a ship.
I’m used to the fear in their eyes by now. That uncertain look they get when they see me. They make me out to be a monster, larger than life, a deviant. But they have no proof, just gossip and rumors. Let them whisper. Let them play detective.
That shit didn’t rattle me back then, it won’t rattle me now.
Anyway, I have better things on my mind. Like the new toy I have to play with.
Chapter Eight
Indi
It starts when I hear the first giggle. I glance over my shoulder and stare at the pair of girls walking behind me. They make brief eye contact before staring down at their phones again.
Weirdos.
The giggles persist as I get to the ground floor. Here, several kids have stopped in their tracks — in the middle of the hall or beside their lockers — phones out and heads bent.
Guess something just went viral.
I’m suddenly glad I’m not on Lavish Prep’s universal mailing list.
My phone vibrates with a new message.
I resist the urge to read it. Instead, I take my time shoving all my things back in my locker. I’m in two minds about whether I want to dare head into the cafeteria, or just hit up one of the vending machines in the hall and go have lunch somewhere quiet.
Like my car.
“Don’t look.”
I stop in my tracks, and turn my head a little to the side. “At what?” I ask.
“At your phone.” Addison materializes in front of me with a scowl on her face. “It’ll die down. It always does.”
Now I’m burning to know. I reach into my pocket, but Addison snags my wrist and jerks my hand out again. “Don’t do it.”
“What’s going on?”
“Someone took a video of you and Briar.”
My heart stops beating. A cold, dreadful certainty fills me like cement.
“Of us in the woods?” I manage in a too-t
ight voice.
“The woods?” Addison waves away the suggestion with an annoyed flick of her hand. “You on your knees,” she snaps. Then she lifts her chin, moves in beside me, and urges me forward with an arm around my waist. She snaps a large, pink bubble of gum and then throws a finger to the girls who were giggling behind me.
“Fuck them all,” she states in a loud voice.
In the overwhelming relief flooding me, I let Addy sweep me down the hall. I even manage a sickly smile, purely because the horrifying thought that Briar’s assault had been videotaped and aired to Gen Pop had almost given me a heart attack.
If Briar was pissed about me trying to tell a teacher this morning about what had happened…I can only imagine his fury if it was broadcast to the entire school.
I don’t think I’d survive the fallout.
“Let’s get something to eat,” Addy says.
“Yeah. Let’s.”
We each grab a plate of roast turkey sandwiches and French fries and take a seat close to the windows. Chuckles and the word virgin puppy follow me, but Addison makes as if she doesn’t notice.
I don’t get it. What makes me so interesting to Briar? I mean, I’m a nobody. He’s obviously a somebody — by the time we get to our seats and I hazard a glance around, I see his Majesty taking a seat in the middle of the goddamn cafeteria.
Two benches have been pushed together to accommodate his subjects, who are all currently transfixed by whatever tall tales he’s lathering them with. Surprisingly, there aren’t any girls at his tables, just a bunch of jocks and wannabes.
Leaning on my elbow, I point at Briar’s table. “Him?”
Addy glances at Briar’s table and then back at me so fast I’m surprised she doesn’t get whiplash.
“Yeah?” she asks warily.
“You’re going to tell me what his story is. Now.”
Addy shifts as if the question makes her uncomfortable, and then gives a half-hearted shrug. “He’s bad news, Indi. Just forget—”
“Bad news how?”
Addy purses her lips around her energy drink’s straw.
“Like, he may look like a fucking god, but he’s the spawn of Satan.” Addy lifts a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Prince Briar destroys everything he touches.”
I lean away from her. “Personal experience?”
Addy sniffs, throws a glare in Briar’s direction, and then turns her back to their bench. “He dated my friend, Jessica.”
I point at her energy drink, and she hesitates before handing it over. I take a sip, grimacing at how sweet it is, as she carries on talking.
“They’d been going out a few months already. Jess said he wanted to get serious, you know — sex? — but she wanted to take it slow.”
My eyes go to Briar. He looks serious as anything, eyebrows drawn together and staring at his cellphone as his subjects make high fives and give each other fist bumps around him.
“Guys do that,” I say dryly, thinking back to every single relationship I’ve ever had. It didn’t matter how many times you said ‘no’, or how creative you got in telling them, they’d keep pushing and pushing and pushing.
I was tempted more than once to lose my virginity just to get it over with. I mean, sex has to be fucking amazing if guys are so hard up about getting laid all the time, right? Obviously I’m missing out. But it was never the right time, the right place, the right guy.
Story of my life.
Damn, but she wasn’t kidding about Briar looking like a God. The day turned out warm, so he’s only wearing his school shirt and a slightly loosened tie. He has his sleeves rolled up to the middle of his lower arms, setting off his dark tan. As I watch, he rakes the fingers of one hand irritably through his long, sandy-blond hair, mussing it up even further.
He should be gloating about the prank he pulled. The one currently circulating through the entire school’s mobiles. Instead, he looks frustrated.
What could possibly piss off someone like Briar? I mean, does he not have enough rooms in his massive house? Because he’s got to be super-wealthy to dare be so fucking arrogant. Maybe there aren’t enough horses in his car’s engine? Or is it because he’s finally realized he’s an asshole and no one will ever love him?
“We were at Briar’s birthday party…”
I look away reluctantly from Briar, fixing my attention back to Addy. From the tone of her voice, she doesn’t want to be having this conversation. She starts fidgeting with the straw wrapper, and I hand her back her can.
“What happened?”
“Everyone was drunk.” Her eyes dart up to mine. “A lot of them were doped up too.” Then she sighs and tugs at her straw. “I left at like one in the morning or something. Only Briar and his crew and a few of the cheerleaders were still around.”
Addy gets a faraway look in her eyes and nods. “Dylan gave me a lift home.”
“And Jess?”
“She stayed. I didn’t want her to, tried to talk her out of it, but she was so drunk she wouldn’t listen to me.”
Addy grows quiet, and it takes everything I have not to press her to continue. After a few seconds and another sip from her can, she goes on in a low, barely audible voice.
“She called me in tears just before noon the next day.”
My breath stalls as my gaze darts back to Briar. He’s not looking at his phone anymore — he’s looking straight at me. My skin flashes ice-cold, but as much as I know I have to look away, I can’t.
“Said something had happened. That I had to come get her.”
Even across the cafeteria, the weight of Briar’s gaze pins me to the spot. I lick my suddenly dry lips, and he tilts his head just a little to the side, as if fascinated by this. He smiles at me, and those words he spoke in our Psych class come back to me like the whisper of a nightmare.
Everyone bows to the prince.
“When I got to the house, she was on the sidewalk. Barely coherent. She insisted I drive her home, and that’s all I could get out of her.”
“So you don’t know what happened?” I ask, my ears starting to buzz the longer Briar stares at me. The guy to his left starts talking to him, but he doesn’t bother breaking eye contact with me.
“There were rumors, of course.” Addy reaches the end of her drink, and the rattle of her straw finally allows me to tear my eyes away from Briar.
“But I mean, you must have asked. Didn’t she say?” I lean a little closer. Addy’s eyes are too bright, as if she’s holding back tears. “Addy?” I lay a hand on her arm, and she flinches before jerking away from my touch. “What is it?”
“All we have are rumors,” she says woodenly, shaking her can as if wondering why it was empty.
When she looks at me, my stomach twists with dread. “Why?” I breathe. “Did she leave town or something?”
Addy shakes her head, her mouth a tight, trembling line. “Jess killed herself.”
I zone out during Environmental Sciences as I try to piece together Addy’s cryptic conversation.
There was a party.
Everyone got drunk.
Addy left.
The next day — but only at noon — her friend calls her to get her.
She’s hysterical.
That night, she commits suicide.
Round and round my thoughts go. Where they’ll stop, nobody knows.
When the bell rings signaling home time, I notice for the first time that the level of giggling and hushed whispers in the class has grown. I turn to look to the side, and feel something shift in my hair.
I sigh, reach up, and cringe inwardly when I touch a cold spitball lodged in my hair.
One of many, it turns out. I stay behind, picking the offending gobs from my hair, staring at everyone who walks past in an effort to narrow down my suspects.
And then one of Briar’s friends, dark hair and dark eyes, the one who’d been sitting beside him at lunch, saunters past wearing a big, fake grin.
When I scowl at him, he begins tonguing hi
s cheek in imitation of an obviously squint girl giving a sideways blowjob.
I throw him the finger, but that just makes him and everyone around him burst out laughing. By the time I get all the spitballs from my hair, all I want to do is go home and crash.
I drag myself to my junker and sit for a few moments in the driver’s seat, counting up all my fuck-ups for the day. A sharp rap to my window startles me out of the exhaustive list.
Addy’s standing by my window, head cocked as if impatient for me to roll down the window.
“Hi,” I say sheepishly, giving her a weak smile.
She leans her elbows on the window ledge. “Tomorrow will be better.”
I squint up at her. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Her smile is a touch nostalgic. “Because I was once the new girl. I know how much it sucks. It helps having someone on your side.”
“Jessica?” I venture, my mouth pulling to the side.
Addy nods, and gives me a sad smile. Then she reaches into the car and squeezes my shoulder. “But I also know it gets better.”
When I look up at her, her smile is warm and friendly. “Just take it one day at a time, and you’ll do fine.”
I have an overwhelming urge to tell her about the woods, but I can already feel she wants to change the subject away from Jess. This is the worst time to mention anything about what happened between me and Briar.
Instead of making an ass of myself and getting Addy all worked up, I could try being her friend.
So I smile at her, and I let her think that her words are all the encouragement I need to make it through the day.
I guess she’s right, in a way. I’ll just take it one day at a time. When I close my eyes at night, I’ll be cleaning the slate.
Tomorrow will be a new day, right, Mom?
Chapter Nine