by Kent, Rina
“Well you’re certainly not my knight, are you.” It wasn’t a question, and it didn’t hold the heat that I expected. It didn’t hold any heat at all.
Shit.
I didn’t know what to say to that. A tired look came over her face, and I wanted to shake her. Tell her to wake up. Keep fighting. Don’t pull this shit. No, I wasn’t her knight. I was her enemy. Her tormentor. We fought with each other, and we loved it. Both of us.
“Do you even care that I got in trouble last night after my mom caught us?”
She turned to look at me, and now I wished she’d look away. She was hurt. I’d hurt her… for real this time.
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
She sighed. “Of course you hadn’t.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” I walked toward her, and this time, she didn’t retreat. She crossed her arms over her chest and stood her ground.
“I meant that, it was just a kiss. I didn’t know you’d get in trouble for that. It wasn’t a big deal.” Eden cringed, and I immediately realized that was the wrong thing to say.
She walked over to the bench and started shoving notes in her bag.
“Eden…”
She whipped back around, and my heart squeezed as I noted the pain in her eyes. Weight piled on top of me, sagging my shoulders and making my arms feel heavy.
I’d really hurt her.
“Remember when we were at your house, and you asked me if I was a virgin? Made fun of me for it?”
I didn’t want to acknowledge that last part, but I swallowed and gave a shallow nod.
“Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I also hadn’t had a real kiss? That maybe last night was my first?”
More weight piled on me, and this time it was my stomach dropping. “I didn’t realize.”
“You didn’t realize, or you didn’t care? Do you care about anyone but yourself?”
“Yes.” My jaw ticked from the accusation, but I was beginning to understand it. I’d pushed too far. I’d taken something from her that she couldn’t get back.
But she could’ve stopped me.
“Really? Who?”
My mouth opened to defend myself, but my mind came up blank. There were people I cared about. Of course there were. But how could I tell her I cared about Hunter after what she’d seen me do? She’d never believe me. I couldn’t say I cared about Sherry because she wouldn’t understand.
“Exactly,” she said, scoffing and going back to putting her things in her bag. She zipped it up and threw it over her shoulders before beginning to walk away.
“I care about you. I care that I hurt you.”
She paused, her shoulders tensing. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes,” I said, walking over to her and gently pulling her bag’s strap off her shoulder. “I do.” I sat the bag on the ground and placed my palm on her shoulder. Even through the material of her sweater, I felt a surge of desire from just touching her. Last night’s memory played again, replacing some of the guilt with want.
And I definitely wanted Eden.
She still hadn’t turned to face me, but her breath hitched as if she were fighting back emotion. She wasn’t feeling the electricity I did from a simple touch. She wasn’t trying to fuck me like I was her. She was just hurt, and come to think of it, I had no idea what she did want.
“Just stop.”
“Don’t say that,” I whispered, trailing my fingertips up to the collar of her sweater and tracing a line around her throat. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”
She knocked my hand away and stepped forward before turning to face me. Sure enough, there were tears in her eyes.
This wasn’t fun for me. I stood still, with my mouth in a straight line, trying not to show what it was doing to me. This had been my goal in the beginning. I’d wanted to break her, to see her cry, to see her hurt. Now all I wanted was to make it go away.
What have I done?
“You don’t care about me, Camden, so please, stop with the mind games. Tell everyone I’m a slut, pay someone to put condoms in my food or photoshop my face on a naked woman’s body. I don’t care anymore. Do whatever you want, but stop with the mind games.”
“They aren’t mind games.” My voice came out harsher than I intended, but I softened my features a moment later. “Eden, I promise you, I didn’t kiss you because it’s a game to me. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I like you. That’s it. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She threw her head back in a dry laugh. “You like me? You didn’t even text me, or message me on Instagram or anything last night. You watch your friends make fun of me, but you expect me to believe you like me?” She ran her hands over her face. “You’re only saying this because you don’t want me to talk to Hunter. You’re afraid I’ll tell him what you did, but I won’t. I’m not going out with him, and I won’t say anything, so please, just stop. I can’t do this today.”
She tried to pick up her bag, but I stepped in front of it. She nearly bumped into me and froze at the close proximity. I could feel that electricity again. I always felt it when we were this close, and I refused to believe she didn’t feel it too.
She didn’t look up into my eyes, but she also didn’t back away. Her breaths were shaky, and it was hard to tell if it was still from her emotions or from the same current I was feeling.
“You’re right, I don’t want you talking to Hunter.” I placed my hand under her chin and tilted it so that she’d look at me. “But it isn’t because I’m afraid you’ll tell him things. It’s because I’m afraid you’ll like him more than me.”
“Who says I like you at all?” Another dry laugh. “You’re awful to me. You’re awful to everyone.”
I placed a finger on her mouth before she could continue. She was right. I wasn’t a particularly nice person, and I got off on bullying her. But only because I knew she could take it. Whether she knew it or not, there was a part of her that liked me. That liked to fight me, that liked me fighting her. There was a part of her that wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
“I want to make a deal with you.”
“A deal? You mean where you tell me to do something and if I don’t, you’ll find a new way to torture me? What’s next?”
Her eyes had narrowed and tears dried. I sighed in relief at the return of her sass. My stomach unclenched, and the world seemed to lift off my shoulders. I liked her so much better like this.
“This time I’ll give you something in return.”
Silence filled the space as she stared at me, both confused and suspicious. One of her cheeks caved in from her biting it as she considered the statement.
“And what would you give me?”
I pointed to her bag. “You’ve got a big math test coming up, right?”
She nodded, skepticism still apparent in her expression.
“And I’m assuming with the way you’ve been glued to your textbook, you’re worried about it?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Just answer the question.”
More silence ensued before she sighed and glanced at her bag. “I just need to get my grade up, okay? It’s none of your concern.”
I tilted my head. “You’re failing?”
With the way she tensed and clenched her jaw, I figured the answer was yes. It was a bit of a head scratcher for me. Eden didn’t strike me as the type of person to be failing any subject, but whatever. It worked in my favor.
“If you promise to stay away from Hunter, I’ll help you raise your grade.”
“By cheating?”
My brow furrowed at that response, but I chuckled. “By helping you study.”
“And how are you going to help me study?” There was a snarkiness in her tone that pulled the muscles in my back taught, but I refrained from shooting a comment back. About a thousand of them were perched on my tongue, but this was a deal I wanted her to accept. One that I needed her to accept.
“I’ve got a 4.3 GPA, Ed
en, and my best subject is math. You barged into my calculus class, remember?”
She bit her cheek again and shifted her feet. “You’re not paying someone to do your homework?”
I huffed and rolled my eyes, mentally reigning in my temper. “No, I do not pay people to do my homework.” I picked up her bag and held it out for her. “Take the deal, or don’t.”
She took her bag and slowly pulled it over her shoulders. She still didn’t look convinced, but of course she wasn’t convinced. I was just a dumb jock, right? Wrong. Fuck this.
I shook my head and started walking toward the building. Sebastian was in front of the window, glaring at me.
“Wait!” Eden called.
I paused but didn’t look back.
“You have a deal.” Her voice was strong. Fierce. It reminded me of why I liked her in the first place. She wasn’t the kind of girl to beg. She was the kind of girl to leverage. This opportunity happened to fall into her lap.
I turned and peered into weary brown eyes. “Be at my house tomorrow at one.”
Chapter Thirteen
Eden
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Isn’t that what they say? Well, this would be a desperate time and would call for an even more desperate measure.
I was at Camden’s house, standing outside his front door... willingly. This was even after the shame I’d experienced from kissing him, having my mom give me the talk, and listening to her and my stepdad fight about whether or not I should be grounded. Roman won, thankfully, and my mom let it go. I wasn’t allowed to have Camden, or any other boy, in my room with the door shut, but I also wasn’t grounded.
But the worst thing. The one that made my being here the most pathetic, was how I was letting him get away with treating me. I shouldn’t have expected him to message me after he left my house, but I had. I shouldn’t have expected him to defend me in front of the jocks, but I had. Hunter had stood up to his friends for me, while Camden simply watched.
The reality was, I was nothing but a toy to him. Yet here I was, about to let him play with me some more.
Pathetic. That was the only way to describe it. Absolutely pathetic.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I needed to be first chair cello, and I needed Mr. Hines to write my recommendation letter. Berklee was the most important thing to me, and if I didn’t get in, I’d be stuck here. I’d be stuck in some shitty job, thinking about high school just like the jocks would be doing. I’d wind up just like them.
So, for now, I chose pathetic.
I wiped my clammy palms on my jeans and straightened my posture. The fake smile was already plastered on my face, and my hand was ready to reach out to shake Camden’s parent’s hand when the door opened. Camden appeared, and I glanced over his shoulder before letting my smile fall.
“Nice to see you too.”
I returned my gaze to him and shifted my backpack strap higher on my shoulder. “Hey.”
He opened the door wider and stepped to the side. His smell invaded my senses when I walked past him, but whatever warmth he exuded was swallowed up in the freezing cold space. The theme of the house was white and clean. White tiled floor, white walls. The gaudy chandelier hanging above my head was the closest thing to color the entryway had. It was reminiscent of Camden’s soul—empty.
I frowned at that last thought. I didn’t actually believe it. No matter how much I tried to hate him, my mind wouldn’t accept it. Exhibit A, he still managed to get me alone. Did I even counter with a more public location? We could’ve just as easily studied at a library or coffee shop. Did I want to be alone with him?
“Are your parents home?” I asked, more as a distraction before my mind could think of an answer to my last question.
He clicked the door shut and put his hand on the small of my back. He leaned in to whisper in my ear, and for some reason, I didn’t pull away.
Ha! For some reason, Eden? Seriously?
“Nope. It’s just you and me. No one to interrupt.”
“We’re just studying.” I turned to face him. He was only about an inch away, and I had to crane my neck to look at him since he stood straight. “You promised you’d help me. If you’re planning anything else, I’m going home.”
He grabbed my wrist as I started toward the door and shoved me into the wall before pressing himself against me. He planted both his hands on either side of my head, boxing me in.
My eyelids slid closed of their own volition, and my lungs burned with each labored breath.
I should’ve known this would happen. I had known this would happen.
This is what you wanted, isn’t it?
Camden leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine. His breathing wasn’t ragged like mine. It was perfectly even.
Because this is just a game to him.
My eyes shot open, and I placed my hands on his chest and shoved, but he didn’t budge. “I need to go.”
“No, you don’t,” he said, a smirk playing on his lips. “You don’t even want to.”
“Camden, seriously.”
“Why did you read his note yesterday, but not mine? Why did you stuff it in your bag?”
What? I thought back to yesterday and the note that’d been passed to me in English. I didn’t even know who it was from until I opened it. He was mad about that?
No, not mad. Jealous.
I didn’t respond, and his eyebrows knitted together. His lips drew in a tight line. This wasn’t a game. This was real. The most real I’d ever seen Camden.
Why did I like it?
“After what Hunter did for me yesterday, I have no reason to blow him off. You, on the other hand, I have a multitude of reasons.”
I pushed harder against him until he gripped both my wrists with one large palm and held them to my chest. Part of his hand was pressed to the swell of my breasts, but he didn’t seem to notice. Too much anger bloomed in his eyes for me to see any lust that might’ve been hidden underneath.
He wasn’t trying to seduce me. He was trying to scare me.
“Do you want him, Eden? Honestly.”
My wide eyes searched his. He was always so calm, so put together. He strutted through the halls at school, always with a crooked smile, and always cocky. There was a permanent glint in his dark eyes, an aura of confidence. Arrogance even.
That was all gone.
Correction, it was all fake.
“First, tell me why you care.”
“You know why.”
“No. I don’t. You treat me like dirt. You encourage others to treat me like dirt. Why, Camden? Just tell me why.”
One side of his lips tilted up and he released my wrists. I kept them to my chest, a small barrier between us. None of the anger left his eyes, but the glint was back. Whatever beast I’d awakened, it was calming.
“I like that you fight back. I like that you aren’t scared of me.” His eyes dipped to my neckline and he pressed his thumb against my jugular. “Even now, with me pressed against you, pissed, your heart rate’s out of control. But it isn’t from fear. It’s excitement. You’re just as excited as I am.”
“You’re delusional.”
“And you’re in denial. You like the attention and you fucking know it. I know it. What I don’t know is if you like it from Hunter too.”
I remained silent. I didn’t like it from either of them, but if I had to choose, I’d choose Hunter’s kindness. That’s what I told myself, over and over, as I stared at the gold ring around Camden’s eyes, but it was a lie. Deep down, I knew it. Camden knew it. Maybe the whole school knew it.
I had Camden Knight’s attention, and he had mine.
And maybe he was right. Maybe I did like it.
“I don’t like Hunter.” The words slipped past my lips, and I didn’t have time to consider whether I should’ve said them. They were true, but it would only bring up another question. One I couldn’t answer.
“Do you like me?”
There it was.
> I averted my gaze to the floor and searched for a smudge, a speck of dirt, anything.
I should’ve hated him.
But I didn’t.
Why did he have to kiss me? Why did he have to smell so good? Why did his touch have to set every last of my nerve endings on fire?
“I don’t know.”
His thumb, which had remained unnervingly pressed at the pulse point on my neck, moved up to run across my bottom lip.
I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent. He wore cologne, but underneath, there was more. Distinct. Addictive. Him.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, Eden. I should’ve texted you the other night. I should’ve asked if you were okay.”
He cupped my face and urged me to look at him. Sincere eyes, no smile. No games.
“I don’t want to tell anyone about this. They wouldn’t get it, and I don’t want to explain it to them.”
For a brief moment, hurt washed over me. He didn’t want to tell anyone he cared for me... not that he was with me. He’d already spread that rumor as far as it would go.
But then Sebastian’s image popped into my mind. My other friends.
They wouldn’t get it either.
“Okay,” I said, giving a nod. I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to, but a moment later, all thought was robbed from me. Camden leaned in. He paused a mere centimeter from my lips, waiting for me to meet him. It wasn’t enough for him to take this time. He wanted me to give.
A second went by.
Then another.
“I thought about you,” he whispered, minty breath teasing my lips. “When I got home, I went straight to my room. I pulled up your picture, the one I used to photoshop, and I imagined what you looked like for real under those clothes. I tried to imagine how your lips would feel around my cock. How pink your pussy is.”
“Stop,” I whispered, trying to turn my head, but Camden held my jaw.
“I thought about how sexy you looked in my jersey. How I wanted to tear it off you. Fuck you in front of everyone.”