by Kent, Rina
I kicked the door shut when I made it to my room and pulled my phone from my pocket. After swiping the screen, I punched in my passcode and pulled up the messages from earlier. The ones from Eden.
* * *
Eden: You played really great tonight! Sorry for leaving early. Have to be up early for the fall concert tomorrow :(
Me: I thought you were ineligible?
Eden: Do football players still go to games when they’re ineligible?
Me: Point taken.
She hadn’t texted me back after that last message, and by now, she’d probably be asleep. It was a little annoying that she’d left early, but seeing her in the stands had fueled me. I’d played my best game tonight. Not that I didn’t always, but this time I felt like I had a reason to. It was… nice.
I typed ‘good night’ and hit send before exiting out of my messages. Tapping on the Safari icon, I waited for the internet to load. I pulled up the school’s website and checked the time for tomorrow’s concert. It started at one.
My eyes narrowed as I stared at the phone screen. Had to be up early? Fucking liar.
I set an alarm for eleven and plugged my phone into the charger before heading for the shower. Liar or not, she’d shown up tonight. Tomorrow I’d return the favor.
Chapter Eighteen
Eden
“Is it about to start?” Jordan whispered to my mom for the third time. My jaw ticked, but I kept my eyes on the stage. The orchestra, my orchestra, wasn’t there yet.
“Five more minutes,” Mom whispered back, kissing the top of his head. She peered at me and gave an apologetic frown. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders like it was no big deal. Like this wasn’t my whole freaking world and it wasn’t killing me to sit in the audience instead of standing off-stage, cello in hand. My palms would’ve been sweating, and I would’ve been tightening my fingers around my bow. It looked like nervousness, but I knew what it was. Excitement. Happiness. Joy.
Not the dead weight of regret.
A couple more minutes passed, and I sank lower into my chair, splaying my hands out over the armrests. No one was sitting to my left, so at least I had that. And, really, this was cool. I’d get to see how we looked, watch and listen to the symphony… instead of being a part of it. Damn, I sucked at thinking positively.
Chairs squealed with people shifting on my left, and I sighed as I glanced at the only empty seat in the aisle, the one right next to me. Resting my hand in my lap, I returned my gaze back to the stage.
“Is this seat taken?”
My eyes darted to Camden’s silhouette, his frame darkened from the low lighting in the auditorium. I shook my head and bit my lip, fighting the smile that was threatening to take over my sour mood.
“Camden!” Jordan screeched. Mom shushed him and patted his head to tamper his excitement.
“What’s up, little man,” Camden said, as he sat in the velvet seat next to mine, leaning so that his mouth was to my ear. “Hey, beautiful.”
My cheeks heated, and I sank lower, somehow embarrassed and giddy at the same time. I glanced over at Mom and Roman, but their eyes were on the stage. Roman’s arm wrapped around my mom and she leaned into him. Jordan’s eyes though? Yeah, they were glued to Camden.
“You did good last night,” Jordan whispered, glancing to my mom to make sure he wasn’t about to get reprimanded. She just smiled and kept her eyes on the stage.
“Thanks. I saw you up in the stands.”
The lights in the auditorium dimmed lower, signaling that the performers were about to come on stage. I turned to Jordan and put a finger over my mouth before he could say anything else to Camden.
Heels clanked against marble as my peers followed in a line, that broke into three, as they maneuvered to the three rows of chairs. Black dresses and blue ties colored the drab stage, everyone dressed up in our school colors for the occasion. Their backs were straight, and their faces were reminiscent of an army line as they stood in front of their chairs, waiting for Mr. Hines to give the signal to be seated.
Mr. Hines was facing the audience, microphone to his mouth, and he began giving the opening welcome, thanking people for coming and praising the students in participation… students that weren’t me.
“You look really good,” Camden whispered into my ear. I glanced down at the black dress I would’ve worn onstage and frowned.
“That was a compliment,” he said, humor in his tone.
I turned to him and forced a smile before eyeing up his black suit. “You look good, too.”
I’d meant it. The material hugged his limbs and torso like it was tailored just for him, which I’m sure it was. His smell drifted into my nose, the scent of his shampoo stronger today as if he’d just taken a shower.
“How did you know what time the concert was?”
“School website.”
“Ah.” I smiled, this one not forced, and faced the stage. The band took their seats and Mr. Hines turned to face them. They focused on him, staring at his hand that gave the signal as if it were the only thing in the room. I knew that feeling. The people faded into the blackness of the auditorium, your heart beat out of your chest, your fingers tingled with anticipation. If I had to compare it to a sport, it’d be track, where the runners are set on the starting line waiting for the gun to go off.
Boom.
Mr. Hines’s hand came down to signal the musicians. Violin’s filled the auditorium first, beginning the piece in a soft symphony. The cellos followed, and my eyes closed as I listened. It sounded so different in the audience. On stage it was big, loud, the sound of my own cello my focus. Here, all instruments came together in a meshing of utter harmony. I’d been to many orchestra performances—professional ones—but to hear the music we’d been practicing for weeks from the other side of the curtain was surreal. It felt so wrong and so right at the same time.
I opened my eyes as the song ended and immediately felt Camden’s gaze on me. I glanced up at him and blushed. His expression wasn’t humorous like I’d expected. It was serious. Hard lines on his face, tight lips.
“What?” I whispered as a new song began.
He shook his head and blinked, as if he hadn’t realized he’d been staring with such intensity. “Nothing.”
I went back to the band, this time keeping my eyes open. My hands clasped together in my lap, and I pulled into myself as the prickled waves wracked through me, similar to what I would’ve felt on stage, but different somehow. More relaxing as opposed to exciting.
Song after song played, and at some point, I forgot Camden was there. I forgot anyone was there. Blackness enveloped the auditorium, leaving only the brightened stage, the musicians, and the music. It was art. It was beauty. It was everything.
When the last note to the last song reverberated off the walls, Mr. Hines turned and the auditorium echoed with clapping. I forced my heavy hands to clap and was the first person to stand, hitting my hands together harder. Around me, I could sense the people as they stood after me, but my eyes never left the stage. Several of my friends broke out into wide grins, and they glanced to each other as they took in the standing ovation.
They bowed when given the instruction, and Mr. Hines thanked the audience for coming to the fall concert.
People began shuffling through the aisles as my peers walked backstage in a line. I turned to head that way to congratulate them but was met with Camden’s hard chest. I peered into eyes much more relaxed than they had been and smiled.
“What’d you think?”
“I liked it,” he said, grinning. “Not near as much as you did, but still. It was cool.”
Cool. Ah, yes, the perfect description for an orchestra concert.
“I’ll be sure to let my friends know.” I stepped around him and walked backward toward the emptying aisle. “Be right back.”
“Meet us at the car,” Mom said, picking her purse up off the floor and urging Jordan to walk. He rubbed at his eyes and took a step toward Camden.
; I turned and hurried toward the back room the players would be in. My smile stretched over my face, and excitement still coursed through my veins. I would never sit out of another concert. Period. I refused to be in the audience again, but it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be this time. It was neat to see them, rather than concentrating on my own movements and instrument.
The back room was buzzing with laughter and conversation when I got there. I found Sebastian standing with a couple other violin players, eyes wide as well as their smiles.
“Hey, you guys did great!” I said, bouncing next to them.
Sebastian met my gaze. “Did you see that standing ovation?” The excitement in his voice matched that of the room. We’d never gotten one of those before. Most of the audience consisted of family members that didn’t necessarily have a passion for our kind of music.
“Yeah, I did! I’m so happy for you!”
His expression softened by a fraction. “I’m sure we’ll get one at the Christmas concert, too.”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He startled a moment but hugged me back. I pulled away and laughed out a breath. “I’m just really glad I got to see it. Seriously, you were amazing. And I’m glad you’re feeling better today.”
He glanced around, distracted. The back-room conversation was beginning to get as loud as the football stadium had last night.
I placed my hand on his arm. “I’ll see you later.”
“Eden,” Sebastian called, pausing me from making my way back to the door. “You should come celebrate with us. Rachel, Jennifer, Keith, and I are going out for pizza.”
Camden popped into my mind. Would he want to go out with my friends?
I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve got family plans.”
“Okay, well, next time?”
“For sure.”
When he turned back to his group, I tucked my hair behind my ears and left. Camden was waiting alongside my family at the Lexus. He seemed to be deep in conversation with Jordan, but I didn’t catch what they were saying. My ears were still ringing from the back room.
“Ready?” Roman asked as I walked up.
“Yep.” I glanced to Camden, then back to Roman. “Is it all right if I ride with Camden?”
He looked to my mom for her approval, and she nodded with only a slight hesitation. He was warming up to her fast.
“I’ve gotta stop by my house to change first, if that’s okay?” He glanced between me and my mom.
“As long as Eden isn’t in the room you’re changing in.”
Roman chuckled, and I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the embarrassment that flushed through me.
They loaded up in the Lexus and left Camden and I standing in the nearly empty parking lot.
His Jeep was on the other side, and when I started that way, his fingers laced through mine. I stopped and peered down at our hands, and then to his face. Amusement flickered in his eyes.
“We probably shouldn’t take too long. Wouldn’t want your parents thinking there’s any funny business going on.” He chuckled and tugged on my hand as he walked to his Jeep. “You know that’s what they call it? Your prudish ways are starting to make a lot of sense.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, unlacing my hand from his and pausing once again.
He turned and looked back at me, an eyebrow raised. “You don’t want me—”
“No, I—I do.” I swallowed and allowed my gaze to travel the parking lot. This was where he’d approached me alone for the first time. Where he started his crusade to win me over, or at least, looking back, it seemed like that was what he was doing. “I just… What does this mean? Are we dating?”
My stomach twisted as I asked the question. If Sebastian hadn’t asked me to go celebrate with them, I’m not sure I would’ve thought so much about it. My friends didn’t know. Granted, I only had one left, but last night I hadn’t been sure what to say to Paige either. I didn’t want to lie to anybody, but it was tough when I didn’t know the truth.
“Uh…” Camden trailed off. Gravel crunched as he shifted his feet. In other words, no, we weren’t dating… but we liked each other. We were showing up to each other’s events, each other’s houses.
This was happening, and I either needed to stop it or embrace it. No more lying to people. No more lying to myself.
I stepped up to him and laced my fingers through his. “Never mind… I’m really glad you came. It means a lot to me.” Rising onto the tips of my toes, I kissed him on the cheek.
His eyes widened, but a smile stretched over his face. “You’re a really cool girl, you know that?”
“Yeah,” I said, walking along with him to his Jeep. “As cool as orchestra.”
Chapter Nineteen
Cam
Her eyes burned into the back of my head. Hunter went on and on at my side about who knows what. Saturday night, maybe. He’d mentioned Leilani’s name a few times. By the tone of his voice and his easy going attitude this morning, he’d cooled off since Friday night. Or he was just pretending not to care. Either one wouldn’t have surprised me coming from Hunter.
I couldn’t focus on that now, though. Eden’s footsteps sounded behind me in the hallway, her friend’s voice carrying the same level of ignored enthusiasm as Hunter’s.
I gradually picked up my pace toward the lunchroom. Hunter matched it without him seeming to notice the change, and Eden’s footsteps faded. I glimpsed her blue, long-sleeve Panthers shirt going past as I opened the door to the lunchroom and turned my head, not enough to meet her stare but enough to know she wasn’t also entering the lunchroom.
Thank God.
“So what’d you do Saturday night?”
Saturday. So he hadn’t been talking about Friday.
“Nothing,” I said, giving my shoulders a shrug. “Just hung out at home.”
He grinned ear to ear, and I braced for the lame joke I could practically see perched on his lips. “Played your nerdy computer games?”
“It’s coding, Hunter. Not a game.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just make sure you mention my name in your acceptance speech.”
“What?”
“For your next Nobel Prize.”
I rolled my eyes and moved up farther in line, taking out my wallet and removing a few bills.
“Seriously, how’s your project coming along? Good?”
“I’ve been busy, but yeah, made some progress yesterday. Should be up and running by the time we start next season.”
Hunter wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “First season as Boomer Sooners!” He grunted before removing his arm. He was usually in a good mood, but today it was almost… suspicious.
One side of my lips lifted in acknowledgement.
“How’s the app supposed to help us again?”
I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall. He’d asked me to explain it a thousand times, but never really listened. His eyes glazed over like I was trying to explain the stock market every time. “It’s an algorithm. We’ll be the only people who have access to it, and it’ll calculate how often the other team runs their plays. And it’ll search for other patterns. That way, we can know better what to expect.”
“Ah, right,” he said, not sounding the least bit convinced.
It was my turn in line and I tossed the bills on the line lady’s table before moving on through.
“You didn’t flirt with her today.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Hunter and raised a brow.
“The line lady,” he clarified, stabbing a thumb in her direction. “You flirt with her almost every day, which is weird to be honest because she’s like… old.”
“She’s thirty.”
“Exactly.” His dimple stuck out as his face contorted. “And wait a second. Did you already—”
“Like a month ago, can we let it go?”
He laughed and shook his head. “Dude, I will never understand your type.”
“I don’t have
a type.”
We moved up more in the line, and I smelled her. Or maybe sensed her. I wasn’t sure. What I did know before I even turned around was that Eden was in the line. I glanced over my shoulder and met her stare. She was in front of Sebastian, and he was still talking to her. She lifted her hand in a wave and smiled.
Sebastian’s mouth stopped moving, and he looked to me, his nose crinkling in either disgust or anger. Whichever it was, it wasn’t surprise.
He knew. Which meant she’d told him. Which meant she wanted people to know.
Fuck.
I nodded and turned my head to face in front of me.
“Sure, man. Whatever you say. You don’t have a type.” Hunter chuckled loud enough for everyone in line to hear. “Still, I can’t believe you’re banging—”
“Hey,” I turned and placed a hand on Hunter’s arm, squeezing hard enough that it’d startle him, but not hard enough that he’d shake me off or draw any more attention to us. “Drop it, okay?”
His gaze darted to my hand, and his eyes narrowed. “Okay?”
When I removed my hand, he peered over his shoulder. I didn’t follow his gaze, but the grin on his face when he turned back toward me told me he knew why I wanted him to shut up.
“Band Geek doesn’t know about Line Lady?” He had the sense to keep his voice low, but I scowled anyway.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No?”
“No.”
“All right, then.”
I was next in line and grabbed my tray when the lunch lady handed it to me. My eyes were off Hunter for only a few seconds, but when I flicked them to where he’d been standing, he was gone. I trailed my gaze farther down the line to see Hunter standing in front of Eden. His back was to me, but Eden’s face was in view. Her lips pulled into a fake, nervous smile, and she glanced to me as if asking for something.
“Next,” the lunch lady barked, making me flinch.
I shook my head and started walking to my spot, not looking back at Hunter. He was probably just talking to her to taunt me or to ask her out to the homecoming dance, again.