by F. T. Lukens
Liam crossed the room and pushed Ren hard in the shoulder. Ren staggered back.
“You just want to use me like they did, don’t you? I heard you talking to that general. She needs you, and you need me.”
Stricken, tears sprang to Ren’s eyes. “That’s not true.” His voice shook.
“Liar!” Liam pushed again. “Liar! Come on!” He pushed until Ren’s back hit the bulkhead. “Fight back! I know you can! You never did at home, but I’ve seen you now. I know what you can do!”
Pushing his forearm across Ren’s chest, Liam pinned him against the metal. Ren’s heart slammed against his ribs.
“Liam, stop.”
“Why? Why should I? That’s how it works up here, right? You got what you wanted by fighting; maybe that’s what I have to do.”
Ren pushed against Liam’s shoulders. “Will you cut it out? You’re right. I don’t want to go back to Erden. I don’t want to take you there. Happy?”
“No! I want to go home! Why won’t you let me?”
“Because I just got you back!” Ren shouted. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. “You may have spent a year in that prison, but I’ve been in chains and chased across a countryside. I’ve been possessed by a ship. I was betrayed, and I was murdered, and the whole time I looked for you. I wouldn’t stop looking for you.”
Liam shoved Ren one last time. His elbow caught Ren in his wound; then he released him and stalked across the deck. The pain stole Ren’s air, and he gasped, knees weak.
“What? Is that supposed to make me feel guilty?”
“No,” Ren said. “It’s supposed to make you feel loved.”
Liam bowed his head and covered his eyes with one hand. His shoulders shook. Tentatively, Ren came up behind Liam and touched his back.
“You’re my brother. You’re my family. You’re the only family I have.”
“That’s not true,” Liam said, voice thick.
“Our mother and your father aren’t… they’re not… I don’t think…”
“Not them,” Liam said, saving Ren from having to find the thoughts and feelings associated with his mother and stepfather. “The crew. This crew are your family. Asher is your family. I… don’t have that.”
“You could have that. They’ve spent almost as much time looking for you as I have. They welcome everyone who wants to be a part of the crew.”
Liam shook his head. “I don’t want them to be my family. I have one.” He pointed to Erden. “There.”
Ren closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “You’re right. It’s not just that we don’t have time. I need you. I need your power. I can’t let you leave, yet.”
“I know.” Liam shrugged. “You want me to arrange a meeting between those people.”
“I do.”
“So you can kill her.”
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to kill her. And maybe we can disarm her and keep her from hurting anyone else.”
“And if you’re not able to.”
“That’s why we need to have a meeting. To go over our options.”
“I thought you hated the Corps and Baron Vos.”
Ren smiled ruefully. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And VanMeerten promised she’d let us go if I do this. If I help them, they will let you go home and they’ll give Asher a discharge, and Rowan will be able to do business again.”
“And you?”
“I’ll get to be free.”
Liam’s brow furrowed. “What are you planning?”
“I’m not planning anything.”
Liam’s defensive posture dropped. “You’re a bad liar.” He waved his hand. “Don’t. I just… you need to consider Asher before you make any big sweeping decisions. He loves you.”
“I am considering him.”
“Okay. I just think he’d be happier with you than without you.”
Ren didn’t have any intention of leaving, of dying again. But he wasn’t naïve. He was a supernova, destined to explode. “I’m sorry for not telling you everything,” Ren said. “You’re not a child anymore.”
“Neither are you.” Liam smiled sadly. “Sorry for pinning you against the wall and thanks for not frying me or something.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Sure, it doesn’t. You could’ve totally toasted me, and I would’ve deserved it.”
Ren ruffled Liam’s hair, and Liam ducked, laughing, and batted Ren away. “Go to bed,” Ren said. “You’ve had a trying day.”
“Yeah, in a bit. I want to stay and look a little longer.”
Ren knocked his shoulder in Liam’s. “Okay. Night.”
“Night, big brother.”
Ren left the bridge and headed to the crew quarters. In the crew hallway, Asher waited, feet twitching on the deck plate, arms crossed over his bare chest, hair sticking up.
“I heard shouting.”
Ren looped his hand through the crook of Asher’s elbow. “Everything is fine.” He tugged Asher back toward their room.
“Are you lying to me?”
Ren stopped short.
“We made a promise we would be upfront and wouldn’t hide things anymore. You lied to me at the prison.”
“Come on,” Ren said. “I want another night of sleeping with you before things get out of control again.”
Asher followed, frowning. Once inside their room, Ren guided him to the bed.
“I’m not lying,” Ren said. “I didn’t tell you about feeling the trouble on the top floor because I was scared you’d have us abandon Liam when we were so close. I was afraid. I’m sorry.”
Asher sat heavily on the edge of the bed. “I wouldn’t have done that.”
“I know.”
“And now?”
Ren lowered next to him, their bodies flush from hip to knee. “The others in the debris told me that I am a supernova.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s what I did on the bridge. If I allow myself, I will collapse and explode outward. It’s why everything is burning darkly now. It makes me more powerful, and it’s how I can defeat Millicent. I can overwhelm her, maybe.”
“But?”
Ren winced. “Supernovas explode.”
“You’ll… explode.”
“Not literally,” Ren said. “I don’t think. My power might become too much and I’ll…” Ren mimed a blast with his hands.
“Huh,” Asher said. “So, you’re at risk of losing your humanity if you become too entrenched in the ship, which I’ve seen and is frankly terrifying, or you might tear your star to pieces trying to defeat Millicent.” Asher laughed. “Nothing is easy with you.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I’m confused and frightened, to be blunt.” He shrugged. “But what can I do? Other than protect you and be at your side.” He twined their fingers. “I’ll be your anchor when you need one. And I’ll piece you back together like a puzzle if I have to.”
Ren blinked. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
Ren smiled, the relief of Asher’s words a balm to his worry and anxiety. “I can’t believe you.”
“I told you, Ren. You’re it for me. And I’ll want to be with you in all your weirdness, whatever form that takes—star host or supernova. Get it through your thick skull, you idiot duster.”
Laughing, Ren tackled Asher to the bed. “I love you, you arrogant drifter.”
“You better,” Asher said, rolling Ren off of him.
Propped up on his elbow, Ren faced Asher. “I can’t wait to have a life with you. When this is all over, I want you and me, on a drift, living together and being us.”
“Sounds perfect.” Asher pulled their clasped hands and hugged them to his chest. “But until then, get some rest.”
14
“Yes. I’ve been doing this for a while.”
“And you’re going to be able to find Vos and VanMeerten and pull them into your dream?”
Liam nodded. “I can make it a nightmare if you prefer.”
Rowan smiled and patted his shoulder. “My kind of kid. We’ll talk later about that option.”
Smirking, Liam lay down, limp red hair splayed across the crisp white pillowcase. “My kind of captain.”
Rowan laughed. Asher rolled his eyes as he shouldered past her into the room.
The entire crew stood around the bare floor in the common room watching as the three of them prepared to meet their enemies. The room was tense with questions and disbelief and nervous banter, but Ren trusted Liam, trusted that his brother could pull this off. He’d spent the last year manipulating dreams. He had the experience.
Ren rubbed his brow, as Lucas cracked a joke about damp dreams, then crouched to the floor, squeezing into the space between Liam and the couch. Asher flopped onto the cushions; his arm fell off the edge to grab Ren’s hand in his own.
“This looks like a bizarre sleepover game.” Darby bent at her waist and squinted. “Like that game where you pretend to levitate someone with your fingers but turn off the grav instead and freak everyone out.”
Rowan pressed a hand to her chest and appeared vaguely scandalized. “What kind of party game is that?”
“The fun kind.”
Ren rolled his eyes. He squirmed trying to find a comfortable position. The deck plating was cold, hard, and flat, and reminded him of the medical cot where he’d spent weeks asleep. His hands went clammy where his palm pressed Asher’s and where he gripped Liam’s wrist.
“Hey,” Liam said, head turned, voice low. “I’m sorry, by the way.”
Ren furrowed his brow. “For what?”
“For losing it on the bridge last night.” He scratched his ear where it was tinted red in a blush. “I… uh… have things to deal with. And I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“It’s okay,” Ren said, squeezing gently. “I’ve been there. I still am there, dealing with things. Don’t forget that I’m here if you need me.”
“Yeah,” Liam said, rolling his head back to look at the ceiling. “I’ll remember that for next time.”
“Please do.”
“So what now?” Darby asked. “You fall asleep?”
“Yes and no. I have learned how to enter dreams on command by accessing my power. I’m going to pull them in with me.” Liam jerked his chin toward Asher and Ren. “Hopefully. We’ll see. It might work.”
“You don’t sound very confident,” Darby said.
“It’ll work,” Rowan interrupted. “We know VanMeerten is on the same drift as our mother and it’s the middle of their sleep cycle right now. She should be asleep and be easy for Liam to find.”
“And Vos?” Lucas asked. “The dude we really need to be there.”
Liam shrugged. “If what you’ve all told me is true, then I’ve met him before. I already have a connection with him through my star. I should be able to grab him and suck him in.”
“Even if he’s not asleep?”
Liam nodded. “Yeah. It’s something I learned since the last time we talked,” he said, casting a glance at Ren. “It’s easier when someone is asleep or relaxed or if I’m touching them, but I’ve been successful with nabbing someone who was wide awake. I did it once at the prison.”
“That’s terrifying,” Darby said, eyes wide. “Utterly terrifying.”
“More terrifying than freaky science-magic?” Ren asked, craning his neck.
“Yes!” she said with a sharp nod. “Can you imagine going about your day and suddenly you are pulled into an alternate reality created and controlled by someone else?”
Liam cocked his head to the side and scrunched his brow. “I never thought about it that way.”
“That’s because you’re the one doing it!” She flung her arms to the side. “Honestly, what would you all do without me to be your moral star chart in these situations?”
“I think we’d make do,” Rowan said, drily.
Darby huffed. “I think you’ve been living in star host reality for too long and forgotten what it’s like for us normal people.”
“Normal?” Penelope waltzed in, blankets in her arms. “Who’s normal? No one on this ship surely.” She passed the blanket pile to a confused Lucas, then pulled the top one off and shook it out. Stepping through the small crowd, she draped it over Liam, then tucked him in tightly. “In case you get cold. I know how Ren can sometimes play with the environmental controls when he’s stressed, and we’d hate for a chill to disrupt negotiations.” She took the next one and did the same with Ren, laying it over him and jamming her fingers around Ren’s body, tucking the thick fabric close while Liam looked on in confusion and vague horror. The last one she tossed in Asher’s face. He sputtered, and she grinned.
“Thank you, Pen,” Ren said.
She waved away his thanks and turned to the group. “Okay, let them get to it. The rest of you have things to do. Right?”
“No,” Darby said, jumping up on the table and kicking out her legs. “I’m watching this.”
“Out,” Asher barked, pointing his finger to the door. “Liam needs to concentrate.”
Darby groused but hopped off the table and followed Ollie and Lucas out the door. Rowan crossed her arms. “Do you need someone to stay behind and wake you up?”
“No,” Liam shook his head from his blanket cocoon. “We’ll be fine.”
“Fine then. Come find us when you’re done.” She said it as if she wouldn’t be hovering as soon as they were asleep. Ren knew otherwise.
Penelope was the last to leave. “I’ll check in periodically.” She smiled warmly. “Good luck.”
With Penelope’s departure, the common area went quiet. Their breaths and the creaks of the ship were the only sounds in the room.
“Are you nervous?” Ren asked Asher.
“No.” It was a lie. “You?”
“No,” Ren lied back.
Liam rolled his shoulders and closed his eyes. “Relax,” he said.
Ren followed suit, snuggling into the blanket, and closing his eyes. He made sure he had a tight grip on Asher’s hand on one side and Liam’s wrist on the other and took a deep breath. He tightened his muscles and relaxed them, starting with his toes, then his calves, then his thighs, moving up his body as he slid deeper toward sleep.
One moment he was in the common room drifting on the edge and the next—
They were at the lake. The soft sounds of the waves ebbing and flowing on the shore were as familiar to Ren as the feeling of Asher’s hand in his. The coarse sand pricked the bottom of his feet, and the sun shone on him, bright and hot.
“Really?” Ren asked, turning to find Liam.
Liam sat on a large rock at the line where the beach met the forest. Long grass tickled his ankles and wisped in the breeze. He shrugged. “I figured it was neutral ground, and this is where I want to be.”
Asher’s body slowly came into focus as he stood by Ren’s side. “I hope this works.”
Ren dug his toes in the sand. “Me too.”
“Liam?”
“I’m good. I can hold it for a while.” Liam scrunched his face. “I’ve got VanMeerten.”
As he said it, VanMeerten coalesced a few feet down the beach. She wore her uniform and shielded her eyes from the harsh planet light. She scowled as she approached. “Is this your idea of contacting me for a meeting?”
“It worked, didn’t it?” Ren said.
VanMeerten narrowed her eyes, but otherwise appeared unruffled at being pulled into a dream. “Where are we?”
“Erden,” Ren said. “Where we grew up.”
“Charming,” she said with a frown. “Where’s Vos?”
“He’s slippery,” Liam said with a grunt. Sweat appeared at his temples. His brow furrowed; his teeth dug into his lip. He gripped his knees. “Got him.”
Ren looked down the beach and watched as Vos appeared. He wore all black and he frantically spun around, kicking up sand, before his gaze lit on Ren and VanMeerten.
“What is this?” he said, walking forward, his black boots sinking into the beach. “Your little dreamwalker here to steal my thoughts again?”
VanMeerten sniffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, you don’t, you old hag.” He pointed at Liam. “That little weed slid into my dreams and stole my secrets. He trapped me in nightmares and tortured me for nights on end.”
Liam waved. “I don’t remember doing it. If that helps.”
“No, it doesn’t. And you,” Vos said, turning his attention to Asher and Ren, “left me at Perilous Space.”
“You escaped,” Asher said, voice flat.
“With no help from you.”
Asher shrugged, unconcerned. “I left a weapon.”
“With barely any charge!”
Asher smirked.
“Anyway,” Ren said, “I gathered you here for a reason. The two of you have a common enemy.”
“You?” Vos offered.
A harsh smile tickled the side of VanMeerten’s mouth.
“Hardly. I didn’t steal your army,” Ren said, addressing Vos. “And I’m not venting yours. Though I could.” VanMeerten’s smug smile flattened.
Vos crossed his arms. “So, you want me to corral Millicent. Is that it?”
“You were the idiot that released her into the drifts,” VanMeerten snarled. “You should’ve known as a star host she was dangerous.”
Vos laughed. He pointed at Ren. “This one is more dangerous than five Millicents. And just as you can’t control him, you can’t control her.”
“Neither can you.” VanMeerten clenched her fists. “After she blows through the Corps, the planets will be next. You will be next.”
Vos huffed and crossed his arms. “She doesn’t concern me.”