Will You

by S J Crabb

  Pushing away the thoughts of what else he could do with his hands, I pull away as if I’ve been shocked and snarl, “Stop beating around the bush, Jack and tell me straight. Why did you ask me to be your girlfriend?”

  He laughs nervously. “That was the other part of the deal. Aunt Alice is fed up with my playboy lifestyle and wants me to change my ways before she will part with one penny in my direction.”

  He shrugs and looks at me hopefully. Sinking back in my seat, I say wearily, “So, why me, Jack? I’m pretty sure you could have your pick of women eager to fulfil the terms of the will. Prettier girls, you know, the sort you’re used to. Why would you choose a girl you never gave the time of day and never even spoke to before? It doesn’t make sense.”

  He has the grace to look a little embarrassed and says warily, “Because I am everything my aunt thinks I am. I’m not ready to commit to one girl, maybe I never will be. If I asked one of those girls you talk about, they would chain me to them and throw away the key. They would expect hearts and flowers and the whole relationship thing. Aunt Alice wants me to learn what it’s like to date one girl until the end of the year. I must show commitment and that I’m capable of monogamy and putting someone else’s needs above mine. She wants me to grow up and take responsibility for my life but I’m not ready for that yet. When I saw you again and you reacted so strongly about my shop, I saw a way I could have it all.”

  Slamming my glass on the table, I stare at him angrily. “Oh, I get it, good old Nelly. She won’t cause a fuss. She won’t care that it’s all a show to extricate money from an elderly woman whose only wish in life is to see her family doing well. Oh no, Nelly will be so grateful to the super cool football player of her past that always got everything he wanted. Well, not this time creep face. You don’t get to use me for your own twisted, sick, game. I am no longer that girl at school grateful for just a kind look and a few spoken words. I’ve matured and grown up, something I can see you are a long way from achieving. So, the answer to your question is a big fat No because I am not one of your simpering fans who think you pass gold when you pee. Find some other unfortunate gullible fool, who doesn’t class brains as a vital organ and choose Emma blooming airhead Grant instead.”

  I make to leave and Jack says quickly, “I’ll pay you.”

  7

  I just stare at him in horror. “What did you just say?”

  He looks a little embarrassed and says slowly, “I mean, this is a business dinner, right? Well, look on it as a business proposition. You say that my opening will ruin your business, what if I pay you, say a year’s rent, to help me out? I mean, it will only involve a few white lies and some visits to a few family occasions. Where’s the harm in that and we could work together to make sure we both get what we want?”

  I stare at him incredulously. “You’re actually serious, aren’t you?”

  His eyes flash and he looks more determined than I have ever seen him. “I need this to work, Nelly and you are the only girl I want to do this with.”

  I sit back down because suddenly my legs are shaking madly and whisper, “Why?”

  He grins. “Because you remind me a little of Aunt Alice herself. When you stood up for yourself against Emma, I saw the fire in you that she has. You like the same things, in fact, you are already living her dream. You are beautiful, strong and clever, all the attributes she would find acceptable. With you by my side I can’t fail, which is why I’m so desperate to agree to anything if you’ll only say yes.”

  Stupidly, all I can say is, “You think I’m beautiful?”

  He smiles and says gently, “Inside and out.”

  I murmur, “Clever and strong?”

  He grins as the waiter delivers our food, giving me some time to digest this shocking information.

  I start to eat on autopilot and he allows me the time to think about what he said.

  Ok, it’s not so bad. Being his girlfriend, fake or otherwise, is surely a dream come true. Not quite what I had in mind but beggars can’t be choosers. He is going to pay me which means Chocolatti can survive another year at least. Ken gets his rent and everyone’s happy. Then I think about Aunt Alice and feel bad for her. This isn’t right. I mean, the poor woman is being defrauded out of her hard-earned money. It’s tantamount to stealing and I will be an accomplice to fraud.

  Looking across the table, I see Jack looking at me anxiously and my heart melts. But this is Jack Mason. The Jack Mason, the boy who I idolised my entire teenage life. How amazing it would be to introduce him as my boyfriend and rub Emma Grant’s nose firmly in it. After all, he can’t stray under the conditions of the will. He will be chained by my side and I will control the situation. Me, Nelly Gray, the girl who has never controlled anything or anyone in her life. Who knows, maybe it will be fun to call the shots?

  I look at Jack and say slowly, “How do I know you’ll honour your side of the deal?”

  He leans forward looking excited. “I’ll have a contract drawn up to say I owe you a year’s rent. If I back out of the deal, you can sue me. It will be signed and witnessed and completely watertight.”

  I resume eating and mull it over some more and by the time dessert arrives my mind is made up. After all, Ken did tell me to embrace my inner crazy, and this is just what he meant. So, in true X-Factor style, I say sternly, “Then I have reached my decision. Draw up the contract and only once we have signed it will I agree to your frankly preposterous request.”

  The relief shows across Jack’s face as he reaches out once again and grasps my hand tightly.

  “Thank you.”

  I shrug and he says with relief in his voice. “No, I really mean it. I don’t think you realise just how grateful I am. Without you, I would fail and I want you to know I’m serious about the money.”

  Feeling my cheeks blush, I say awkwardly. “Well, it wasn’t the money that made my decision for me if you must know.”

  “What did then?”

  Sighing, I twist the white, linen, napkin, in my fingers and say despondently, “It was no fun being me at school. When you’re the daughter of the headmaster the expectations are high. I was never included and not just because of the way I looked. My parents created a ticking time bomb. First their name choice, I mean, who doesn’t think about every rhyming combination possible when sending their child out into the wide world? Smelly Nelly was kind of obvious when you think about it but it still hurt. I was never included and missed out on all the fun that should have been mine throughout my schooldays. I learned to develop a thick skin, but I had all the same desires and wishes as every girl there, just not the ability to make them a reality. So, when you asked me to be your girlfriend, it was the one time in my life I experienced something normal. The popular boy asking the nerdy girl out and you’ve got to admit, it’s the stuff of dreams. However, now I know even that was tainted. Once again, it was for another purpose than actually wanting to get to know me, the girl who was never given a chance.”

  He makes to speak but I smile ruefully. “It’s ok, Jack, you don’t have to feel sorry for me. I’m a big girl now and used to rejection. No, the reason I said yes, was because I was reminded by someone close to me that life should be a little crazy from time to time. I have never been that crazy girl and now I have a chance to do something a little reckless and wild. I want to be that girl for as long as possible just to create a memory to lock away in my heart forever. When life returns to what it should be, for girls like me anyway, I can take that memory out and cherish it and remember the day when I had it all. So, thank you, for asking me to help you because you’re right. I won’t expect any hearts and flowers. I won’t demand your time when you would much rather be doing something else and I won’t expect you to call or send me love notes. If you look at another girl, I won’t be the jealous girlfriend and above all, I don't expect a happy ever after with you. At the end of whatever this is, we can shake hands and walk away and file the experience along with no hard feelings. So, yes Jack, I will be your
girlfriend for as long as you need me to be.”

  I pick up my wine glass and take a large mouthful of Dutch courage, ignoring the sympathy reflected back at me from across the table. He makes to speak but I laugh lightly. “Don’t say it. I don’t need your words of denial or encouragement. Let’s just accept this for what it really is, a brief moment in time when our lives cross paths. Now, what exactly do you want me to do?”

  Jack smiles a little shakily and then says softly, “I think we just let things run their course. To all our friends, we admit we went out and have started dating. I’ll take you home to meet my family and introduce you as my girlfriend. Aunt Alice will no doubt hear via the grapevine and I will involve you in my family life at every opportunity.”

  I nod and then say somewhat playfully, “You do know you’ll also have to meet my parents. I mean, if a job’s worth doing its worth doing well.”

  I savour the sight of the blood draining from his face as he pictures a night spent with his old headmaster and then he recovers and says lightly, “Of course, that’s fine. I mean, if we’re going to do this, we should make it believable in every way.”

  Nodding, I feel the excitement return as I think about the near future. This will be interesting.

  The rest of the evening was spent discussing the finer details and Jack told me that he would start dropping my name into the conversation at home and work and I was to do the same. We must play the part of loves young dream whenever we are in public. Do I feel bad about deceiving just about the entire planet? Actually, I couldn’t care less. Just for once I intend on adopting my selfish inner devil and grab what I want with both hands.

  Jack Mason and Nelly Gray, who would ever have thought?

  8

  The next day I open Chocolatti with a new spring in my step. Its future is guaranteed for another year at least if all goes well and I am about to live a life that has been denied to me for so many years. Finally, I’m about to discover the joys of having an actual pretend boyfriend with none of the uncertainty that normally accompanies it. I know he won’t leave me after a few dates. I won’t have to worry about what is considered the respectable length of time to wait before allowing him access to my woman parts. I won’t have to worry about him playing around behind my back and I won’t need to try to think of making scintillating conversation just to keep him interested.

  Around midday, my friend Angela heads my way and looks at me curiously. “Um… Nelly, you’re not going to believe what I’ve just heard.”

  I shrug. “What?”

  She laughs nervously and rolls her eyes. “It’s probably just silly gossip but the woman who works next to me said she overheard a conversation at More than Chocolate this morning.”

  She laughs nervously. “You’re going to laugh at this but apparently, she heard Jack Mason telling Emma Grant you were going out, you know, a couple.”

  She raises her eyes and then laughs and I shrug looking a little annoyed. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  Her hand flies to her mouth, and she gasps, “You mean it’s true!”

  Relishing the moment, I say airily, “It is, actually. He took me out last night and asked me again to be his girlfriend. I thought I may as well give it a shot, you know, she who dares and all that nonsense.”

  Angela shakes her head and looks excited. “I can’t believe it. You and Jack Mason. I never saw that coming.”

  Feeling a little smug, I say brightly, “Yes, it was a surprise to me too, anyway, what did Emma say?”

  As soon as the words leave my lips, I realise you never really leave the classroom. I wish I’d been there to see her expression but hearing about it will be just as sweet.

  Angela laughs. “My friend said she didn’t take it well. Apparently, she thought by working in the shop it would lead onto them shortly announcing their engagement. She was last seen storming into the kitchen muttering curses under her breath.”

  I don’t have time to respond because the door chimes and as I look up my heart flutters as I see Jack himself heading my way, holding a takeaway coffee in his extremely capable hands.

  He winks at Angela and then throws me the most irresistible smile and winks. “Hey, babe. I thought you could use a coffee to keep you going. I brought you a latte but if you prefer something else, I’ll go and change it.”

  Savouring Angela’s incredulous expression, I smile sweetly and reach out to recover the coffee. Then to my surprise, he says in a sexy voice. “Not so fast babe, I’ve missed you today.”

  Then to my utter surprise and proving that dreams do come true, he pulls me towards him and lowers his lips to mine. I don’t even register that this is our first kiss as his velvet lips make contact and he kisses me so deeply I think I’m never going to come up for air. As kisses go, this one is the stuff of dreams. Not that I have many to compare it with but in my dreams I’ve shared many a tongue twister with Jack Mason. He wraps his hand around my hair and pulls my head even closer. Like the shameless hussy I am, I allow him total access to my tonsils and kiss him back relishing every flutter in my heart. Then, he pulls back and smiles sweetly, saying, “I’ll look forward to continuing this after work. I’ll meet you outside at 5.30. Maybe we could grab a bite to eat on the way home.”

  Then he rubs his thumb over my wet lips and winks before heading back to his shop.

  I watch in total disbelief at his retreating figure and I think he must have served his first customer by the time my mouth moves from the floor to join the rest of me.

  Angela shakes her head and says jealously, “That was intense, you are so lucky. I can’t believe it, you’re a dark horse, do you know that Nelly Gray?”

  Raising my fingers to my lips, I touch the place he was last and feel my heart beating out of control. Wow, this fake girlfriend thing has some very real benefits. I knew this was a good idea. I can’t wait to get home and add this new addition to my journal to keep me warm during the wilderness years in the future.

  Angela hangs around for another two hours pretending to help me in the shop when all she wants to talk about is Jack. That actually suits me fine because he is my new favourite topic of conversation.

  It’s only when we’re sorting out the chocolate mice from the chocolate bunnies that the door opens and Emma Grant heads inside. Stifling the irritation, I look up and say politely, “May I help you?”

  She stares at me with a hard look and says harshly, “Look, I don’t know what’s going on here but Jack told me you are now officially an item. Is this true?”

  I take great delight in saying smugly, “Yes, it is.”

  She shakes her head. “Something’s not right here. I mean, he can’t have chosen you, Nelly Gray, the headmaster’s daughter. He could have anyone he chooses - why you?”

  I say in a hard voice, “Look, I am standing here and believe it or not, I do have feelings. Anyway, what’s it to you who he goes out with? You’re not together anymore – are you?”

  Suddenly, I feel nervous. What if they are? I mean, they used to date at school, at least I think they did. What if they still have the odd um… moment and she has something of a claim on him?

  She says sadly, “You’re right, it’s none of my business. Jack and I used to date but haven’t for some time. When he opened the shop and needed staff, I jumped at the chance to work with him. We did date at school but life got in the way - that and his out-of-control libido. We drifted apart, but I never forgot him.”

  She looks quite upset and despite the fact she is my past nemesis, I find myself wanting to comfort her. Offering her one of my taster chocolates, I say kindly, “Listen, maybe this has all happened for a reason. Who knows, the perfect guy for you may be just around the corner and now you’re ready to meet him minus any complications. I’m not sure how this all happened, but it has.”

  She looks at me in shock and shakes her head – again. “I’m sorry, Nelly. When I saw you the other day at the opening, I was in shock. I hardly recognised you and I’m ashamed of
myself. You were right to have a go at me after the hell we put you though at school. It’s only now I can see things from your side. Will you forgive me and can we start again?”

  I can sense Angela’s surprise next to me and I think back over all those years of hurt and rejection. I remember how her words wounded my soul and destroyed my self-worth. She made me so miserable I used to cry myself to sleep at night and beg to stay off school the next day. Now she wants forgiveness - just like that. One simple apology and I’m meant to suck up the past and make her feel better.

  Angela nudges me and as I look, I see the usual kind face staring back at me. Angela was no stranger to bullying and rejection yet always managed to look on the positive side. She used to say the bullies must have hard lives outside of school and who knew what horrors they went home to? I was never as forgiving as Angela and I can see things haven’t changed. I don’t want to forgive and forget. I want my pound of flesh and fully intend on ignoring Emma Grant for eternity but seeing her standing before me looking so contrite, my heart softens and I say lightly, “Of course, it’s all in the past as far as I’m concerned.”

  Angela sighs with relief beside me and Emma looks at me gratefully. “Thank you, Nelly. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’ll take it. I am sorry you know and will try and make it up to you.”

  She looks at the clock on the wall and groans. “I need to head back. My break’s over and we’re quite busy so I should go and lend a hand.”

  She smiles sweetly and heads to the door and then turns, saying, “You know, a group of us are heading out for a pizza tonight. You’re both welcome to join us.”

  Angela nods, saying happily, “I’d love that, what time and where?”