by Rose Ivory
The door swung open and she was greeted by heavy notes of pine and the roar of a jovial room. In the frame stood Elena, radiant in her intricately-beaded cocktail dress. The emerald hue seemed to make her naturally golden skin glow to a supernatural level. Almost heavenly. Her blonde hair was coiffed, styled in careful vintage waves. The glisten in her eye told Kate that she’d already had quite a few cocktails. Why couldn’t I get here earlier? she asked herself. Then I’d at least have the emotional shielding of alcohol. “Katie,” Elena squealed, “you look amazing!”
She smirked, festive red lipstick perfectly outlining her pout. “You can’t even see my dress.” Kate stepped past Elena into the crowded warmth of the house, a crowd she could feel so presently even in the empty hallway. Elena shut the door and Kate wrapped her in a hug, moving her mouth close to her friend’s heavily adorned ear. “Is he here?” she whispered.
Elena gave her an extra tight squeeze. “Mhm. You can meet him. But remember,” she released her friend, smoothing her dress down over her curved figure, “it’s not serious yet, so don’t make it weird.”
Already unbuttoning her coat, Kate snorted. “Oh yeah, like I’m going to overstep with your man.”
Elena sighed, crossing her bare arms over her ample bosom. She lowered her voice. “You may think you’re all shy and that, Kate—“
“I never claimed to be shy.”
“—but you’re a closet spitfire. And that,” she lifted an artfully painted index finger toward the ceiling, “is why you’re so dangerous.”
Kate gathered her jacket in both hands. “Right. Because I’m super terrifying.”
Elena swung her head back to take the next jab, but stopped. Her jaw dropped, her hands pressing against the smooth expanse of her cleavage. “Oh my goodness, Katie,” she murmured, “you look amazing.”
The blush immediately claimed her creamy cheeks. Eyes cast down, Kate pushed a sleek dark strand of hair behind her ear. “You know I don’t like when you make a big deal,” she grumbled.
“I know, but it’s my party, so please please give me a turn?”
Kate’s eyes flew wide, her arms strapping themselves down over her torso. “Don’t be mortifying.”
Elena groaned. “No one’s even out here. The party is like, 20 feet away!”
Clenching her jaw in a begrudging knot, Kate held her arms straight out to the sides like the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. She turned in a slow, stilted circle, not bothering to fix the hunch formed by her annoyed shoulders. Even as she warped her figure, the beauty of her velvet dress was clear. The supple black fabric gently hugged her slender curves, nipping tighter in all the right places. “Happy?” she asked.
“Mhm.” Elena clasped her hands and nodded her head frenetically. “So happy. And even happier that there are so many single guys here.” Before Kate could say a word in protest, Elena wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her toward the buzz in the next room. “Don’t worry,” she said under her breath. “I’m not expecting you to actually entertain the idea of any of them tonight. But when they see you and lose their minds and then you dip early, as is your MO, they’ll be sure to ask me for your number tomorrow! Then you can sift and research and nitpick all you want.”
“You’re impossible,” Kate said through her aggrieved smile.
“A bunch are from the hospital. At least three single doctors and one anesthesiologist. Does that sound so bad?”
On the cusp of breaching the party’s limits, Kate’s heart leapt to her throat. Even so, she had to admit, “No. No, it does not sound bad.”
Elena squealed and ushered her in. At every corner, women in sparkling dresses were sipping from elegantly stemmed glasses, throwing their heads back rapturously as they laughed. The men were dressed uniformly in suits, a pack that Kate couldn’t deny looked sleek as jungle cats. “This should be interesting,” she mumbled. “Since when do you even know this many people?”
“I do have relationships outside of ours, Katie.” Elena plucked the coat from Kate’s grasp and put a surprisingly strong hand on the small of her back. Steering her through the polished crowd, Elena deposited her in front of a tall, strapping man with dark, smooth skin that would make the strongest woman wilt. “David?” The man turned, caressing the pair with his soft gaze. “Would you mind grabbing my good friend Katie a drink while I put away her coat?”
“It would be my pleasure,” he replied easily. His voice was gruff, yet gentle. Now that bullshit is what I’d call dangerous. He started away. Kate turned to give Elena a withering look, but when she saw the sweet excitement in her friend’s face, she knew right away.
“Him?” Kate mouthed. Elena bit her lip in a girlish smile and shimmied her shoulders in response before rocketing down the hall to get rid of the coat. Right, David. Oh man, Elena, good on you. Knowing that this was her friend’s new beau, any tension left Kate’s stance. She followed David to the punchbowl, where he was just now ladling her a drink of her own.
“Is the house special alright with you?” he asked.
“Oh, if Elena mixed it, I’m sure it’s devastating. In the good way.”
He smirked, the expression only accenting his chiseled grecian features. “She is exquisite. Is she not?”
Kate’s heart surged with warmth at the smitten look on his face. “She really is.” David handed her the cool glass, full to the brim with crimson liquid. She smiled, nodding graciously as she took it. Then they seemed to get stuck. Standing next to each other, neither was sure what to do next. God, I want to dig so bad, she thought, taking a nice stalling sip from her cup. How am I supposed to do this in a way that’s cool and collected and not as achingly excited as I actually am?
“Would you like to dance?” he asked.
Her face tilted back at the sudden nature of the offer. And the horror of what he was actually asking. Kate had nothing against dancing, especially in the comfort of her own home. Preferably clad in the softest sweats. But here, where only two pairs were dancing in a room full of otherwise stationary strangers, where it was sure to become a quickly spiraling spectacle, there was no way—“Sure,” she said. What the hell, Kate? Why? Why would you say that? You don’t want to dance!
While the frustrated thoughts pinged around her head, Kate’s face was smiling, her body taking a large swallow of the punch before putting the cup on a shelf and taking David’s hand. On autopilot, she let him guide her out into the center of the room. Placing her hand on his shoulder, him taking her waist, she thought, well, I guess this is the easiest way to get a read on him, right? A subtle way to investigate.
David clasped her right hand in his, a gentle yet firm hold, and they were off. Stepping formally in arcing circles, she did her best to ignore the room full of others. Her audience. “You’re very good,” he murmured.
Out of her silence, Kate released a cackle. “Oh, wow. That’s definitely just a thing you say to be nice. But thanks. For the thought.”
He cracked a smile. Its earnest nature made her relax, just a bit. “You haven’t stepped on me yet,” he offered.
“I wouldn’t jinx it, if I were you,” she parried back. They stepped in a few more arcs, a fluidity coming to their movements. A natural rhythm.
“Well, thank you for being my partner. Especially as I’m starting to get the idea that you perhaps did not want to be.” She snorted again, but smiled. “When you don’t know anyone in the room, it’s sometimes good to find a distraction. At least, that’s how I prefer to do it.”
“You don’t know anyone either?” she asked.
A dark lock of hair fell to David’s brow as he raised it. “How is it that you don’t know anyone when you two are thick as thieves?”
“I mean, I know,” Kate scanned the room as they turned, “maybe five people? But for the most part, all strangers. Probably work people. Elena and I usually do things one-on-one, and the people I do know….I don’t see them much anymore.”
He cocked his head, guiding her to shorten the ste
p, easing the exchange. “What does that mean?”
Kate’s jaw locked. “There was a separation, and…You know, um, it’s not that they didn’t choose me. I just sort of, you know, pulled back. Pulled myself out of the running, I guess.”
The deep lack of understanding painted across his face made her stomach sink. “I may not be seeing what you mean,” he began slowly, “but I am getting the feeling that you don’t want to live in it. So let’s forget it then. Good?”
Her relief was palpable, glowing through her smile. “Yes, please.”
“Good.” With a sharp thrust, David raised his elbows, pulling Kate up higher. He affected the step just slightly, making it feel almost silly, but also much more fun. Alright, she thought as he whirled her around, I am officially Team David. I mean, geez. I’ve never liked one of Elena’s guys this much.
Kate let go. She shook off her stiffness and embraced the simple fun of whirling around the floor with a devilishly handsome man who expected nothing from her. It was liberating, to say the least. And fairly out of character. It continued this way until halfway through the song, moving her hips to “The Jingle Bell Rock,” she saw him. And everything that was light and airy inside her went dark and dank. When Kate lost her step, falling still, David gave her a concerned look. Following her gaze, he spotted the couple that had just made their way into the party.
The man was tall and lean. His boyish face only accentuated his look of a beanpole kid finally grown into his body. His tweed blazer was perfectly offset by the full bushy beard. A new addition to his face. It framed his lopsided smile, somehow making it even more endearing. On his arm was a petite, gorgeous redhead. As Kate’s eyes drifted downward, a shard of glass pierced her heart. The woman’s stomach had swelled. It was bulbous. There was no doubt.
Kate’s insides wrenched. David moved to touch her shoulder, as they’d fallen out of their dancing position, but before he could even make contact she was gliding out of the room, moving as fast as she possibly could without drawing excess attention to herself. Once she reached the hallway, her glide became a run. She passed another room full of guests, but didn’t slow. Her heels clicked along the stained wood of the hall as she barreled toward the bathroom. She was vaguely aware of another pair of heels clipping after her, but only when Elena caught her by the arm did she allow her step to stall. She heaved as her friend looked down at her with baffled concern.
“Kate, are you—“
“How could you?” she wheezed. “How could you invite them?”
Elena’s cool hands cradled her burning cheeks. Kate loosened, letting her tilt up her face, now framed by three trailing tears. “Invite who?” Elena asked in her gentlest voice.
Steadying her haphazard breath, Kate’s green eyes burned up at her. “Matthew is here.”
Elena’s eyes shot wide, her jaw unhinging with her gasp. Her shock was obvious and genuine, confirming at the very least that she hadn’t known. “How is that possible?” she asked. “Why on EARTH would he think he’d be welcome in this house? After—“
“Did you leave the invite open?” Kate asked, her voice low. “Like, bring friends?”
Elena faltered. “I, well, yes. But how could anyone here could possibly—“
“Because they’re still friends. And you’re friends with them. And it’s pretty safe to guess that they either assumed I wasn’t coming, or they didn’t care.” Stiff as a board, Kate stalked into the hall bathroom. Mercifully, it was empty. Elena was right behind her, locking the door and trapping them in the confined space.
“Didn’t care might be a little harsh,” Elena said. “But I mean, I’m as shocked as you are.” Kate barked a sad laugh. “OK, maybe not quite as shocked, but really. If someone invited them, I’m sure they didn’t realize that I’d very consciously not invited them.”
“It’s fine.” Kate turned the knob of the sink, getting the water to its iciest temperature before placing her wrists under its flow.
“It is obviously not fine, Katie.” Elena wrapped herself around Kate’s back, hugging her around the middle. “And it’s OK to not be fine.”
“I can’t be here.” Kate shook her head, tossing her near black locks. “I can’t.”
“Maybe, even though it feels like shit, this is a good thing?” Elena offered. “I mean, it could be a good thing for you to be able to be in the same—“
“She’s pregnant.” Her voice broke on the word. Elena’s golden skin paled. Her horrified expression matched exactly the emotions churning in Kate’s core.
“No. Oh no.”
The icy water burned at her pressure points, but Kate held them firm, bracing and embracing the freeze. “She is.”
Elena pressed her smooth forehead into the back of Kate’s neck. “I can’t believe this.”
“Why not?” Her voice was empty. So hollow it nearly echoed. “This is what was going to happen. Eventually. We had to know, right? I mean, we certainly know how much he cares about children.” A poisonous ache flooded her chest even as she said it. Acidic. Gut-wrenching. A pain that she’d avoided, buried, coped with for so long, that now crashed through her as forcefully as it had in the beginning. At its worst.
“This is unacceptable.” A new strength backed Elena’s words, fueled by the visible suffering of her friend. She stood straight, a stance like a warrior’s. A woman not to be crossed. “I’m gonna tell them to go.”
“Elena, no.”
“By which I mean ask respectfully, of course.” She smoothed her hair in the mirror, a banal action somehow made terrifying by the fire in her eyes. “I mean, the gall that he had coming to my house as it is is just, I don’t have words. It’s so ludicrous that there are no words, really.”
“Elena.” This time her voice came sharp. It had a spine. “Do not tell them to go. Please, please don’t.”
“But Katie,” the conflict was clear on her face, “you’re my person. I don’t want you to go. Hell, I need you not to go.”
“Then I won’t go.”
Elena ticked her head to the side, unsure. “Do you mean that? Because you shouldn’t be miserable here either, and honestly, this is something we shouldn’t be dealing with! Whoever invited them must have been smoking something, or…” She trailed off, eyes still wide and searching. Kate felt an apologetic pang. The last thing she wanted to do was spoil her closest friend’s night. Especially one she’d put so much time and effort into.
Kate wrenched off the water and dried her hands on the Candy Cane embroidered towel. “You go back out there. I need to center a little bit, but then I’ll be out too.” Avoiding Elena’s gaze, she lowered the lid to the toilet and sat atop its fuzzy cover. Kate closed her eyes, breathing deep and slow like she was warming up for a yoga class.
“You sure?” Elena asked. In the darkness of her sightless seat, it was much easier to seem sure. To nod. To betray less than the raging, debilitating feelings that wracked her body.
“I am. But I need a minute. That’s fine, isn’t it?”
A soft hand cupped her cheek. “Of course it is. Take your time, babe. And if you even slightly feel that you’d rather they go, text me and I’ll get them out of here so fast that it could set a world record or something. Get me hired to the CIA.”
The ghost of a smile tweaked at Kate’s crimson lacquered lips. “Thanks.” Keeping her eyes closed, she raised her own hand, resting it atop Elena’s. “I love you.”
“Love you too, babe.” Elena squeezed before letting her go. “If I didn’t have all this lipstick on, I’d kiss your forehead or something cute.”
“Ha.”
“But take your time. And text me if you need me.”
“I will.”
“OK.” The door creaked ajar, just a hair, then clicked as it closed.
Kate’s eyes fluttered open. She leaned over from her seat on the porcelain throne, pushing the lock back into effect. The darkness had been nice. Having her eyes open, being aware in any and every way, was definitely worse. She exa
mined herself in the mirror. On the outside she looked fine. Beautiful. It wasn’t like her makeup had been smeared, her hair mussed. Everything was still in place. With a believable smile, the illusion would hold up.
A glamorous night for a bubbly, self-assured, single woman over 30. And doesn’t she look divine? Kate tilted her chin this way and that. It was almost funny, what lies a little makeup could tell. She flattened her palms against the cool stone of the sink and leaned forward, leveling a serious gaze at and into herself. Alright, Kate, she thought. You said you’d be OK. So be OK. You are not a spectacle. You are not going to allow things that are ancient history to ruin your night. Or your life, for that matter. It’s been years, hon. I mean, god, it’s been long enough for a whole new family to start, so…
A new batch of tears welled in her eyes. She carefully raised her hands to her face, using the backs of her index fingers to blot the moisture away before it could smudge her mascara or carve any new paths down her cheeks. You have cried too much over this already, she reminded herself. Do not let it happen. Do not let it own you. With a sharp, shaking breath in, she steeled herself. She blew out the air in a focused whoosh. You like your life. And you are strong. And you’re only stronger because of everything that you’ve gone through.
Kate patted at her hair, ensuring that no flyaways betrayed her composure. She pulled the bullet of bright red lipstick from her clutch. Not fully sure of her ability to use a steady hand, she carefully tapped more pigment into the fullness of her lips, leaving their outline untouched. She pressed her lips together. Rolled her shoulders back. Raised her chin, challenging. OK, she thought.
Kate took the knob and turned it slowly. She pushed open the door and was halfway out when she saw her. The woman who’d replaced her, and now seemed to prove that she was an upgrade. Kate stopped mid-step. At the other end of the hall, the redhead was glowing as she chatted up a group of enthralled spectators. Her cheeks had gained a cherubic roundness since Kate had last seen her, but it did nothing to diminish her beauty. If anything, it enhanced her. Frozen, Kate remained in the doorway. Keep going! Get into literally any other room!