I had no kids—I’d wanted them, but Kaden had kept putting it off—but I could only imagine how I’d feel if my child went behind my back… even if I understood his reasons. He wanted an expensive guitar, and I guessed he was too young to work or his parents wouldn’t let him.
The kid made a weak, disgruntled noise of frustration, and I knew my time was just about to run out.
Rubbing my fingers together because they suddenly felt clammy, I tried to clamp down on my panic because it was more powerful than my strength. “I’m sorry about all of this. I’m sorry this wasn’t done with your blessing. If some stranger moved into… well, I don’t have a garage apartment, but if I did, I wouldn’t be a fan of it. I value my privacy a lot. But I don’t have anywhere else to go. There’s no other house for short-term rental nearby. That’s not your problem, I get it. But please, let me stay.” I sucked in a breath and met his eyes; I couldn’t tell what color they were from this distance. “I’m not a drug addict. I don’t have a drinking problem or any weird fetishes. I promise. I had the same job for ten years; I was an assistant. I got… divorced, and I’m starting over.”
Resentment, bitter and twisted, rose up over the back of my neck and shoulders like it had daily since things had fallen apart. And like every other time, I didn’t brush it off. I tucked it into my body, real close to my chest, and babied it. I didn’t want to forget it. I wanted to learn from it and keep the lesson for myself, even if it was uncomfortable.
Because you had to remember the shitty parts of life to appreciate the good.
“Please, Mr. Rhodes, if that’s what your name is,” I said in the calmest voice I was capable of. “You can make a copy of my ID, even though I already sent one. I can get you character references. I don’t even kill spiders. I would protect your son if he needed it. I have teenage nephews who love me. They’ll tell you I’m not a creep too.” I took a step forward and then another, keeping our gazes together. “I was going to see if I could rent this out for longer, but I’ll move on after a month if you could find it in your heart to give me a chance for now. Maybe another place will open up. I’d rent a place in town, but there isn’t anything short-term, and I’m not ready to sign something for long.” I could buy something, but he didn’t need to know that; it just created too many questions. “I’ll pay you three times the daily rate and won’t bother you at all. I’ll give you a five-star review too.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have added that part. It wasn’t like he’d wanted this place up for rent in the first place.
The man’s gaze narrowed just a little I was pretty sure because his eyebrows didn’t move much, but I thought I noticed a difference. A notch appeared between his thick, dark eyebrows, and that terrible feeling intensified.
He was going to say no. I knew it. I was going to be fucked and living out of a hotel. Again.
But the boy joined in and said, talking just a little louder, genuinely sounding excited by the prospect, “Three times the price! Do you know how much money that would be?”
The man, maybe Tobias Rhodes, maybe not, glared at his son as he stood there, tense and still pissed. He really was furious.
And I braced myself for the worst. For the no. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but… it would still suck. A lot.
Instead though, the next words out of his mouth were aimed at the teenager. “I can’t believe you’d lie to me.”
The boy’s entire body seemed to soften and fall, and his voice turned smaller than ever. “I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot of money.” He paused and managed to say even more quietly, “I’m sorry.”
The man ran a hand through his hair and seemed to deflate too. “I said no. I told you we’d figure it out.”
The kid didn’t say anything but nodded after a second, looking like he felt about an inch tall.
“And this isn’t over. We’ll talk about it later.” I didn’t miss the boy’s wince, but I was too busy watching the man turn to me and stare. He lifted a hand and scratched at the top of his head with long, blunt fingers. The man I was pretty sure might be a game warden at this point based on the patches I’d zeroed in on when they had hit the light perfectly, watched me.
I thought about waving but didn’t. Instead, I just said, “Pretty please can I stay for triple the rate?”
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t purposely make sure to turn both my arms out so he could see that there weren’t track marks on them. I didn’t want him to think I was hiding anything. Well, the only thing I was hiding were details, but they really weren’t any of his business or anyone else’s. They wouldn’t hurt him, his son, or anyone else other than me. So I tipped my chin up and didn’t try to hide my desperation. It was the only thing possibly working in my favor.
I wasn’t too proud for that.
“You’re here on vacation?” the man asked slowly, still basically growling but testing the weight of every word out of his mouth as it came out.
“Not really. I’m thinking about living here permanently. I just want to make sure, but there are other things I want to do while I’m here.” A lot of them but one day at a time.
“What?”
I shrugged and told him the truth. “Hikes.”
A thick eyebrow went up, but his pissed-off face went nowhere. I was on thin ice. “Hikes?” he asked like I’d said orgies.
“Yes. I can give you a list of the ones I want to do.” I’d memorized the names of the trails based off my mom’s journal, but I could write out the names of them if he wanted. “I don’t have a job yet, but I’m going to get one, and I have money. It was my… divorce settlement.” I might as well give him details so he didn’t have to ask or think I was lying about being able to pay.
The man just kept looking at me coolly. The fingers of his free hand flexed open and closed. Even the nostrils of his strong nose flared. He didn’t say anything for so long that even his son glanced at me over his shoulder again, eyes wide.
The boy just wanted my money, and that was fine. I actually thought it was pretty funny and smart of him. I remembered what it was like to be a kid without a job and want things.
Finally, the man tipped his chin up a little higher, and his nostrils flared again. “You’ll pay triple?” he asked in a voice that told me he still wasn’t totally convinced about this.
“Check, card, PayPal, or money transfer right now.” I swallowed and, before I could stop myself, added with a smile I’d used plenty of times to try and diffuse difficult situations, “Do you offer cash discounts, because I can get you cash if that’s the case.” I stopped right before I winked, only just barely stopping myself. This man was probably married after all, and he was still pissed. Rightfully so to be fair.
“A money transfer is faster,” the teenage boy volunteered in his quiet, whispering voice.
I couldn’t hold back; I snorted and slapped my hand over my mouth when I snorted again.
The man glanced at his son with an expression on his face confirming he was still upset with him and didn’t think his suggestion was funny, but to give him credit, he focused back on me and might have even rolled his eyes like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “Cash. Tomorrow or you’re out.”
Was he…?
“I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to remember you’re here unless it’s seeing your car,” he stated, still sounding and looking pissed but…
But agreeing! He was agreeing! Maybe!
“You got the month, but you’re out after that,” he stated, holding my gaze the entire time, trying to get his point across that there wasn’t going to be any talking him into staying longer, that I should be grateful he’d agreed to this much.
I nodded. I would take a month if that’s all I had and not cry or pout about it. If it came down to it, it would give me more time to figure out living arrangements. More permanent ones depending on how things went.
I wasn’t getting any younger, and sometimes you just had to choose a path in life and go with it. That
was what I wanted. To go and go.
So… I could start worrying about that tomorrow.
I nodded, and then I waited to see if he said something else, but all he did was turn toward the teenager and point him at the stairs. They started to head down in silence, leaving me in the studio apartment.
And maybe I shouldn’t bring more attention to myself, but I couldn’t help it. Just as the only thing visible about the man was the silvery back of his head, I called out, “Thank you! You won’t know I’m here!”
Andddd he stopped walking.
I knew because I could still see just the top part of his head. He didn’t turn around, but he was there, and I almost expected him not to say a word before he exhaled loudly—maybe it was a grunt actually—seemed to shake his head, then called out in what I knew was an annoyed voice because that was something my sort of mother-in-law had mastered, “I better not.”
Rude. But at least he didn’t change his mind! That got tense there for a second.
Finally letting myself exhale, parts of my body I hadn’t known were tensed, relaxed.
I had a month. Maybe I would end up staying longer and maybe I wouldn’t. But I was going to make the fucking best out of it.
Mom, I’m back.
Chapter 2
I checked my phone for about the twentieth time the next day and did what I’d done the other nineteen times after I’d done the same thing.
I set it back down.
There was nothing new—not that I got a whole lot of texts or emails in the first place anymore, but regardless…. There was nothing to check in the first place.
As I’d learned last night, the only place I got cell phone reception was standing right by the window beside the table and chairs. I’d figured that out when I’d wandered away and lost the call I’d been in the middle of. It was an adjustment, but no big deal. A few of the smaller towns I’d stayed in had been the same way. My phone picked up one router, with two little bars, but it was password protected. I’d bet it was the family’s home one and figured there was zero chance in hell of me getting that password. But it was all right. Part of me I guess had hoped that it had been a fluke and maybe a cell tower had been down, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
There was nothing I really needed to check. I wanted to look at my phone less anyway. Live my life instead of watching other people live theirs online.
The only message that had come through this morning had been from my aunt. We’d talked for an hour last night. Her text had made me grin.
Aunt Carolina: Go buy bear spray this morning PLEASE
Just in case I’d forgotten the five other times she’d insisted on the same thing during our phone call. She’d gone on and on about bears for at least ten minutes, apparently assuming that they randomly killed people just because. But I tried to take it as she was scared for me and had been nonstop for the last year. She had seen me when I’d moved back in with them, brokenhearted and feeling so lost that no compass in the world could redirect me.
That seemed to be the story of my life: going to my aunt and uncle’s when my world fell apart. But as disastrous as splitting up with someone that I’d thought I’d be with for the rest of my life was, I’d known with my entire heart that nothing held a candle to losing my mom. That helped me keep things in perspective and reminded me of what was important.
I was so lucky to have my aunt and uncle. They had taken me in and treated me like I was theirs. Better, honestly. They had protected me and loved me.
And as if she had read my mind while we’d talked, she had griped, “Leo”—one of my cousins—“came over yesterday and helped me give that thief a one-star review for his new album. We set up your uncle an account and did the same. There were a lot of them too. Heh, heh.”
I loved them both so much.
“I talked to Yuki a week ago, and she said it deserved for someone to give it a big shit emoji instead of any stars,” I had told her.
In the background, my uncle, who wasn’t a big talker but was a big listener, called out, “I bet he and his momma are freaking out now that their golden goose is gone.”
I’d smirked.
Because I might know everything that happened had been for the best, but it didn’t mean I was a good person who wanted the best for her ex.
He was going to pay for what he and his mom had done. Eventually. I knew it. He knew it. It was just a matter of time before everyone else did. Kaden could find someone else to write his music for him… but he was going to spend an arm and a leg when, before, I’d done it out of love. For free.
Well, not really, but it could have been.
But whoever helped him wouldn’t let him take all the credit for their hard work. Not like I had.
My aunt had sighed and seemed to hesitate before saying, “Ora, I heard through Betty—do you remember Betty? The lady that does my hair?—Well, she said she saw a picture of him with that Tammy Lynn at an event recently.”
Something had ticked at the back of my throat at the mental image of the man I’d been in a relationship with for nearly half my life with someone else.
Now he could have pictures of himself taken with someone. Huh. That was convenient.
It wasn’t jealousy I felt. But… it was something.
The faint taste of bitterness had stayed with me during the rest of our conversation while my aunt had circled back around to talking about bear spray and blizzards and having to revert to cannibalism because people weren’t prepared in the mountains for a snowstorm.
I figured I could explain to her later just how “mild” of a winter Pagosa Springs got versus most other places, so she wouldn’t worry so much.
In the meantime, I had spent the morning deciding what I needed to do and in what order everything would be the most efficient. I needed to get cash for the rental, and even though I was financially fine for now with my blood money, it wasn’t like I had anything else to do. I also had a friend to visit.
Besides that, I needed more groceries because I’d eaten my last slices of turkey breast and cheese for breakfast and had nothing to eat for lunch or dinner. And since I was going to be here for a while and needed to make this place home, I might as well start chipping away at things that needed to be done ASAP.
Might as well get to it now.
Down the stairs and outside, I had to stop beside my car door. I’d driven in so late, I had missed the view of the surroundings, so I wasn’t ready for the landscape ahead of me. The pictures of the garage apartment had focused mainly on the inside; there had only been one of the building.
Back when we’d lived here, we had been closer into town, in the midst of the huge pine trees that made up so much of the national forest in and around the town. But I could remember that on the outskirts, it had been more desert-like. And that was the exact kind of scenery here. The bright greens and dense forests were predominant here in Pagosa, but the craggy beauty that came with being so close to New Mexico and the desert-like area was an exception. Scattered cedar trees and brush filled the hills around the house.
It was incredible in its own way.
I stood there for a long time, then finally looked around. The SUV was still parked there. That was it though, vehicle-wise.
But just as quickly as I glanced in that direction, I looked away. The last thing I needed was to risk the maybe Mr. Rhodes seeing me looking at his house, period, and think I was doing something he didn’t like. I didn’t need to get kicked out. I’d walk to my car with my eyes closed for the next month if I had to.
I was here for a reason, and I didn’t have time to waste since I wasn’t sure how long I’d really be staying.
I wouldn’t be staying if I didn’t give myself a reason to.
And that’s what got me sliding into my car and heading out, not totally sure I knew what I was doing but knowing I had to do something.
I waited until I got to way down the county road before looking up directions for the bank. I knew there was a bran
ch in town; I’d checked to be on the safe side before coming. Five hours from Denver and four from Albuquerque, it was basically in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by small towns that even fewer people had ever heard of. There were two grocery stores, a few local banks and one major one, a tiny movie theater, and a pretty good amount of restaurants and breweries for the town’s size.
Considering how booked the rentals were, I should have expected how busy town would be. It wasn’t like I didn’t know that Pagosa Springs relied heavily on tourism. As a kid, my mom used to complain about all the tourist traffic at the height of summer, getting frustrated at the grocery store when we’d have to park at the back of the lot.
But the rest of my memories of Pagosa were cloudy. So much of it looked different; there were a ton more buildings than I remembered, but there was something about it that was still… familiar. The new Walmart was the exception.
Everything changed over time, after all.
Hope again flared in my chest as I navigated my way down the highway. Maybe it didn’t look totally like what I remembered, but there was enough there that felt… right. Or maybe I was just imagining it.
More than anything, this place was a fresh start. That was what I wanted. Sure, one of my worst memories had taken place here, but the rest of them—the best of them—overrode that.
Life in Pagosa had begun, and time was ticking.
The bank. Groceries. Maybe I could walk around and check out a few shops, see if anywhere was hiring or find a paper to look for ads there. I hadn’t had a normal job in over a decade, and it wasn’t like I had references I was willing to give anymore. Maybe I could stop by and see if Clara was working.
And if I had time, I could log on and give Kaden a one-star review too.
* * *
The small white sign in front of the shop said “HIRING” in bright orange letters.
Tilting my head back, I read the name of the business. THE OUTDOOR EXPERIENCE. Peeking through the window, there were a ton of people inside. There were racks of clothes, and a long counter formed an L-shape across two of the opposite walls. Inside, there was a woman zipping around from side to side behind the counter, looking exasperated as she helped as many people as she could who were all pointing at signs mounted to the walls. The most I could read was something about rentals.
All Rhodes Lead Here Page 3