by Dena Blake
“You’re amazing.” Shay beamed and then looked at Rachel. “Isn’t she amazing?”
Rachel rolled her lips in. “Yep. Amazing. Every girl should be so lucky to have a wife like her.”
The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Chloe, and even though she wanted to give her a piece of her mind, she ignored the urge. The woman had no idea what she was in for if she chose to pursue Shay.
Chapter Eleven
Once Rachel had finished the deep-tissue massage, Shay had taken the heavy dose of ibuprofen she’d ordered to counteract any soreness both the therapy session and the massage would induce. Even though she got along well with Rachel and really liked her, she needed time with Chloe. She hadn’t been alone with her much since she’d woken from the coma, and something seemed to be off with her. The time she’d taken to go home, shower, and pick up clothes had been longer than usual this afternoon, and Chloe hadn’t smiled much since she’d gotten back. She could attribute some of her actions to the situation, but she had also been distant since Shay had been in therapy.
The two of them hadn’t spent much time apart other than work before, and when they were together, they’d always found it difficult not to touch each other in some way or another. Not necessarily in a sexual way, just loving, affectionate touches. Now Chloe seemed to be avoiding any type of contact. She glanced at her in the chair as she watched the show on TV. Dressed in a flowery spring dress and a navy cardigan to cover her shoulders, she looked absolutely radiant, more so than she’d remembered. She wanted her closer, needed the warmth of her body pressed up against her like they always did while watching TV at home. The hospital bed was larger than normal, so she slowly scooted to one side and patted the empty space in the bed.
“Come sit with me?” She raised her eyebrows at Chloe when she glanced her way. Chloe seemed reluctant but then got up and sat on the side of the bed. “Will you hold me?” It felt odd having to ask something of Chloe she’d always intuitively given before. They were always on the same page with their needs. Besides the reluctance, she seemed guarded. Something was in her eyes. Fear, maybe?
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Chloe said.
That she understood. If their positions were reversed, she’d be scared as well. “It’s okay. I’m fine.” Not totally fine, but her muscles were getting stronger, and since she’d started therapy, the pain wasn’t nearly as bad when she was lying down. She shifted her injured leg farther away so Chloe could slip in next to her right side. “I just need you to be close to me.”
Chloe hesitated and then toed off her sandals before she crawled up next to her and turned to face her. A tear sat in the corner of her eye, threatening to spill out. “I’m so sorry this happened, Shay.”
She wiped away the tear and kissed Chloe gently before she took her into her arms and let her head rest on her chest. “I’m gonna be all right.” She kissed the top of Chloe’s head as she tried to soothe her soft sobs. She didn’t know if it was the stress of the whole situation or the relief that was making Chloe so emotional, but Shay would do everything in her power to fix whatever was worrying her.
Chloe had done so much for her in the past—buffering between her and her mom, calming her after every altercation, removing the stigma her mother had so carefully planted in her brain as a child. Without Chloe, she’d still be spending a couple of weeks a month in her counselor’s office trying to figure out what was so wrong about her that she needed to change to gain the love of her mother—and actually trying to do it. She owed everything to this woman in her arms.
Warm, soft breaths brushed across her chest, and she knew Chloe was asleep just like that. All was right in her world again. It felt wonderful to have Chloe in her arms once more. Even though it had been only a few days, it seemed like forever since they’d been this close. The accident hadn’t just robbed her of memories. It had stolen the very essence of Chloe from her mind.
She gently ran her fingers across Chloe’s arm, indulging in the soft, creamy smoothness of her skin. The warmth she gave soothed her. Everything would be fine as long as she had Chloe beside her. Emotions bubbled inside, and heated tears streamed down her cheeks. When had she become such an emotional basket case? The accident had done more than break her leg. It had stripped her of all her walls—made her realize just how deeply she loved Chloe.
* * *
Chloe rushed out of the room, down the elevator, and out of the hospital. She found her car, keyed the ignition, and turned the air on full blast. What was I thinking? She’d been so warm and comfortable in Shay’s arms this morning. It was like she’d been catapulted back in time to when they were happy together. Then, she’d felt Shay’s hands doing wonderful, ungodly things, taking her to an unexpected point of arousal, and she hadn’t stopped her. She’d let Shay make love to her, stroke her fingers through her folds—bring her to the kind of earth-shattering arousal that only Shay could, and she’d enjoyed it. Her body heated as the feeling washed over her again. She had not expected that to happen ever again.
The confusion hit her hard. She still loved Shay so much more than she wanted to admit, but she hated her for what she’d done. For not trusting her—for going outside their marriage for something she valued so deeply. Sex wasn’t just an act to Chloe. It was a union to be shared with the most important person in her life, and Shay had shattered that bond. She couldn’t control the sob that pushed from her lungs. She pressed her head to the steering wheel and let every emotion spill out. She’d been so worried about Shay that she hadn’t let herself feel anything until now.
A tap on the window jarred her back to reality. She looked up to see Rachel standing next to the car staring at her. Fuck. Just one more thing to deal with. She swiped the tears from her eyes before she hit the button to roll down the window.
“Are you all right?” Her concern seemed genuine.
“Just peachy.” She didn’t hold back her irritation.
“Anything I can do to help?” Even though Rachel seemed sincere, she wasn’t going to be friends with this woman. Rachel was far from being her ally.
“Not unless you have a magical cure for memory loss.” She threw the car into reverse, backed out of the parking space, and got the hell out of there.
The plastic vents clicked as she pointed all of them toward her face and let the air cool her before she glanced in the rearview to see Rachel standing there with her hands on her hips. She pulled out of the lot and just drove. What was she going to do about this development with Shay? She was going to ignore it—that’s exactly what she was going to do.
When she pulled into the driveway of the beach house, she wasn’t surprised to see Erica’s car there. Not what she needed this morning. The woman wasn’t letting up, and she wouldn’t be happy when she told her she had to move her clothes out. She had to start preparing for Shay to come home. Was it home? She squeezed her eyes shut. Yes, it was their home, the home Shay had struggled to buy and they had remodeled together.
Erica was still sleeping when she peeked into the bedroom, so she went into her studio. The view of the beach was breathtaking. They’d had the corner room on the southwest of the house remodeled with plate-glass windows on both exterior sides. The extra care Shay had put into it had made her feel so loved and cherished. She’d furnished it and bought all the supplies she’d ever need for at least a year, and she’d done all this for her.
She sat in the tall studio chair next to the canvas she’d been working on last week. The blandness in the piece depressed her. It wasn’t anything special, just waves and a little moonlight. Her work had suffered over the past six months since she and Shay had split, since she’d found out about Lila. She removed the painting from the easel and leaned it up against the others she’d painted that were too dark to put up for sale. She set a new canvas on the easel and tried to let her heart lead her as it used to. But nothing was there. Her mind was blank, and that was the way the canvas would remain for now.
She tried to be super quiet when she went
back into the bedroom to get some clothes, but it didn’t work.
“You’re home.” Erica rolled over and smiled.
“Yeah. I need to change and get a few things.”
“Come to bed for a little while.”
“I really don’t have time.” After what had happened this morning, Shay would be wondering where she’d gone and why she hadn’t come back sooner.
“Come on. She won’t miss you for an hour or two.”
“I just went out for doughnuts and coffee. I hadn’t planned on coming here at all.” She pulled a pair of navy shorts from the drawer, then put them back and took out a pair of tan Capri pants. The hospital was too cold for shorts. She went to the closet and looked for a blouse. All her things had been scrunched to one side to make room for Erica’s clothes. It was now or never. She grabbed a pink blouse from one of the hangers and turned around. “Listen, I have to get prepared for Shay to come home, so I need you to move your clothes out.”
“What?” Erica bolted up in the bed and pulled her eyebrows together. “You’re going to bring her here?”
“With the leg injury, it’s the most accessible place. It’s too difficult to navigate the apartment.”
“I just moved everything in.” Erica was dramatic, as usual, enunciating each word separately.
“Seriously? That’s not even half your wardrobe, and it’s not like you don’t still have a house of your own. Plus, I never asked you to move in.”
The blanket flew up as Erica tossed it back and got out of bed. “God, you’re so fucking mean when you’re stressed.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but you’re damn right, I’m stressed. My wife was almost killed in a car accident that I’m at fault for.”
“Your wife?” Erica threw her hands up. “You’ve been separated for six months, and now she’s suddenly your wife again?”
She took in a deep breath and let it out. “You know what I mean.”
Erica moved behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “Let me help relieve some of the stress.” Her hands slowly went from massaging her shoulders down her back and around her waist.
Erica pressed her lips against her neck as she started to unbutton Chloe’s pants, and her mind went immediately to Shay and what had happened just an hour before. No. This is not happening. She spun around and held her arms out between them. “Stop. I can’t do this right now.”
“Jesus, Chloe. It’s been a week since I’ve even seen you naked, let alone touched you.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Again with the I’m sorry, but was she really? She was so mixed up right now she didn’t know if she was or not. What she really needed was some space, time to herself to figure this whole situation out. “I’ll help you load your clothes.”
“You certainly know how to make me feel unimportant.”
“Not my intent. I just need some space.”
“Fine.” Erica pulled on a pair of jeans, tucked the T-shirt she’d been wearing into the waistband, and put on a white, button-down shirt.
Chloe swiped Erica’s car keys from the dresser and grabbed a bundle of clothes from the closet, leaving everything on the hanger. She’d buy more later. The less time she took getting her clothes out, the faster she’d be gone. She needed Erica out. Now.
* * *
After Chloe had finished helping Erica load her clothes into her car, she went back into the house and poured herself two fingers of bourbon. What the fuck was she going to do? She didn’t want either one of these women in her life right now but seemed to have no choice about one of them. She poured another couple of fingers, went into the bedroom, gathered the pile of Shay’s clothes, and dropped them onto the bed. They’d been in a heap on the chair in the corner right where Erica had carelessly tossed them last week. She took a handful of hangers from the closet in the guest room and laid them on one of the pillows. If Shay would only remember her past, she wouldn’t even be dealing with these feelings. Lila would be taking care of everything instead of her, although Lila hadn’t been back since she’d sent her away, so who knew if she really cared about Shay or if it was just a passing fling.
She picked up a shirt, examined it, and tossed it into a pile on the floor. All Shay’s clothes, except her jeans, were totally wrinkled. She was going to have to wash them all. Thankfully, they were only her casual clothes, or she’d have an enormous dry-cleaning bill to deal with along with everything else.
Shay should remember it all—the lies she’d told, the excuses she’d made for working late. Shay should have to deal with the fallout just as she did. She pushed all the remaining clothes to the floor, flopped onto the bed, and stared at the empty side of the closet. The pile of journals taunted her from the corner. She crossed the room and pulled one randomly from the pile, went back to the bed and got comfortable, and began to read.
Eclipse day…
Today was eclipse day. The moon would totally eclipse the sun, and screw me if it wasn’t totally cloudy. Chloe and I had planned to meet for lunch and watch it. My camera was ready to go, and I’d bought a special lens and protective glasses. I was utterly disappointed with the weather this morning. It would be years until this event would happen again. But Chloe surprised me! She got someone to cover the gallery today and showed up at work at eight o’clock. Then she drove me 300 miles north to some random town where the sky was clear, just so I could see the eclipse, which was spectacular. When the moon kissed the sun, there wasn’t much difference in the sky. But when it drifted farther across the whole of it, hiding more of the sun, the light began to fade, and shadows on the ground became more distinct. The leaves and the trees produced shadows that were an eerie shade of gray with an odd, rounded effect, and then as the moon’s movement progressed, the shadows became so much sharper. We could see the individual hairs on our heads and arms. It was absolutely stunning. I captured some good time-lapse photos of the eclipse as it happened, but Chloe took the most awesome photos of the ground shadows. She’s incredible. I would’ve never thought to do that, but the artist in her caught their uniqueness. God, I love this woman. I think I’d die without her.
The last words stuck in her head. Had Shay been that deeply in love with her? The whole experience that day had been wonderful. Chloe remembered how giddy with excitement Shay was when she’d picked her up. She’d been planning to view the eclipse for months—had it all laid out how and when they were going to do it and had actually staked out an area on the roof of their apartment building long before any of the other tenants had thought to do so.
But when Chloe knew that wasn’t going to pan out, she’d switched to plan B. She’d gathered all Shay’s equipment and put it in the back of her SUV, along with some blankets. They’d sat for hours on a patch of grass, in a park in some town she couldn’t even remember the name of, wrapped together in a blanket, waiting and then watching as the moon moved slowly across the sun and the temperature dropped. The birds had stopped singing, and the crickets began to chirp.
The whole experience was amazing, and Shay was so beautifully animated throughout the entire afternoon. The eclipse was truly beautiful—not just the event, but the way Shay had reacted to it. Chloe had glanced at the sky occasionally but had enjoyed watching the joy in Shay’s face so much more. Science excited her the same way the sunrise excited Chloe. Shay had accompanied her on more than one early morning excursion on the beach to view the sun glistening off the sea as it rose. No way was she going to let her miss the eclipse.
She closed the journal and let it fall to the bed. They’d been so in love then. But now she couldn’t reconcile the feelings of betrayal and jealousy coursing through her. In one moment, she was so angry at Shay she never wanted to see her again. In the next she was ridiculously jealous of Rachel, a woman there solely to get Shay back on her feet. But Rachel seemed more invested in Shay than just her recovery. Ack! There it was again. That big green monster. How was she going to get through this?
Chapter Twelve
Physical therapy was
n’t going well that morning. Shay’s head was nowhere near where it should be right now. It had been more than twenty-four hours since Chloe left, and she hadn’t been able to reach her. All her calls and texts had gone unanswered.
When she’d woken with Chloe in her arms yesterday morning, she’d wanted nothing more than to be as close to her as she could. To love her, kiss her, touch her all over, no matter what kind of pain shot through her leg, and she’d done just that. She’d woken Chloe with a kiss, a deep, lingering, lazy-morning kiss, the kind of kiss that leads to so much more—only it had, yet it really hadn’t. When she’d slipped her hand under Chloe’s sweater and inside her bra, felt her soft warm breast in her hand, Chloe had pressed into her, wanting more.
She rolled her nipple between her fingers and trailed her other hand across her stomach and under her dress. The warm wetness she found between Chloe’s legs had instantly done the same to her, which wasn’t surprising since their sexual chemistry had always been off the charts. She pushed her panties aside and circled the small, hard nub with her fingers, coaxing a long, slow moan from Chloe before moving her fingers in and out slowly, deeply, letting them drag across the sweet spot she knew would push her over the edge.
Chloe nestled closer, moving with her as her fingers slid in and out, her thumb now gliding through her folds, massaging her hardened clit. It wasn’t long before she clamped around her fingers and rocketed into orgasm, pressing into her hand and holding her tightly in her arms.