Ride For Me (The North Shore Crew #1)

by VR Baucke

  Mace was sweating and visibly shaking with fury as his outburst came to an end. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lil slink out the back door, wrapped in a towel. Mace threw himself into an armchair and ran his hand through his hair.

  I needed to say my piece before Mickey spoke first and got me riled up again. Clearing my throat, I began.

  “Look, Mickey, I apologise and regret that we’ve got off on the wrong foot. Straight up though, for reasons I don’t even understand, I’m drawn to Lil, and I really want to get to know her, and you, better. Especially since I’ve moved here trying to put my life back together.” I held up my hand to stop him interrupting. “I’m not a player, even though my tats, piercing and beard apparently suggest otherwise, and I’m going to do everything in my power to not hurt her. And I think everyone is getting way to ahead of themselves because Lil and I have hardly spoken and aren’t even remotely near a relationship,” I finished with a shout as my anger crept up again. “I’m going outside for fresh air.”

  I stalked through the back door before anyone, namely Mickey, could protest.

  FIFTEEN

  GAGE

  THE SIGHT OF Lil—head back, eyes closed, reclined in the spa—stopped me in my tracks. She was so different from everything I knew, yet so damn alluring.

  The more I stared, the tighter the neck of my shirt felt, even though the top two buttons were open. She looked so goddamn beautiful with her long hair piled on the top of her head. Even in the fading evening light and her body being under the water, I could still make out the contrast between her dark bikini and her pale skin. Her eyes flickered open briefly and she smiled.

  “You can come closer you know, I don’t bite… much,” she whispered, and giggled quietly to herself.

  I approached the spa and braced my arms on the side as I leaned against it.

  “Lil,” I started. Effing hell, I felt like a walking apology. “I’m sorry for what happened in there, and I’m sorry for flipping out at you last week.”

  Taking a deep breath, I paused and stared into the welcoming water. She seemed to ignore my confession.

  “Jump in if you want. This bad boy can fit at least seven people, so there’s plenty of room just for two.”

  She moved her legs to the side in invitation. It was the smallest hint of a peace offering, and I chose to grab it before it slipped away.

  “Yeah, righto, um, I don’t have my boardies with me though.”

  A snort of amusement came from Lil. “Just wear your underwear, I won’t judge. That is if you’re even wearing any...” she trailed off and gave me the side-eye that made me feel as if I was strung up ass-butt naked in front of her.

  Lil maintained eye contact in what seemed like a challenge to see if I was going to chicken out.

  As if.

  I shucked items of clothing, starting with my boots, socks and shirt and glanced up to find that Lil still hadn’t taken her eyes off me. Her darkened hazel gaze now smouldered as she examined my every move. Her eyes lingered on the spot where tattoos snaked across my shoulder and bicep. I paused at my jeans, casually fingering the button and watching her reaction closely. Her pupils dilated like a goddamn owl, and, Jesus, my blood ignited at the sight.

  “Remember what Dave said about eye-sexing?” I drawled in an attempt to ease the heightening lust between us. Seeing her nod in response, I continued, “You’re doing it now and it’s fucking intense, Sunshine.”

  Her light snicker had me smiling as I stepped out of my jeans and tossed them in the pile with my other discarded clothes. Ignoring her scrutiny, I climbed over the edge of the spa and let out a breath as I lowered myself into the hot water.

  “Fuck, that’s bliss.”

  “It is,” Lil murmured, her voice low and dreamy.

  Our conversation had to happen now; I needed to clear the air before it got any harder. I growled the tension in my throat then watched her reaction carefully.

  “I need to tell you something personal because it might help you understand my reaction last weekend.”

  Lil’s eyelids flew open and she sat higher, the water lapping over her shoulders as she gave me her undivided attention.

  Taking a deep breath, I began. “Just over three years ago, I was in a relationship that… ended… very abruptly. It wasn’t expected and some days I feel like I haven’t gotten over it at all. But what you need to know is that I haven’t been in a relationship of any sort since then. Even the mere thought used to make me physically sick. I never wanted to have a relationship again. Ever again. I just, I don’t know what it is about you, but you… Fuck. For whatever reason, I’m drawn to you no matter how much I don’t want to be. You’re like the dawn of a new day after a thousand years spent in darkness; the very place I’ve become accustomed to living in. You would never be ‘just another notch on my belt’, as you put it, and it’s hard to ignore what naturally seems to be between us. Plus, it’s baffling the hell out of me. What’s even more confusing is that I’m not even sure I want to ignore it. I just don’t fucking know.” I finished in an audible whisper then waited for her reaction.

  It was out in the open now—well, some of my skeletons at least.

  Despite Lil’s expression remaining relatively blank, there was sadness in her eyes and an underlying hint of understanding that she knew all she needed to for the moment.

  “That’s really heart-breaking to hear. And I’m sorry too for jumping to conclusions about your past. I’m also confused as hell about what I feel for you. I don’t know you, yet it feels like déjà vu on steroids.”

  “How do you mean?” I questioned, concerned that I had triggered something that was going to backfire on me.

  Moving a corner closer, I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. Her lips curved in a whisper of a smile. Despite the hint of reassurance, her sigh was bitter. That was when I noticed her eyes held a certain kind of pain that made my stomach drop.

  “Gage, when I was twenty, I fell madly in love—or, what I thought was love—with a guy who screwed me over and discarded me out of nowhere.” The hurt in her voice made my heart ache for her, and I got the unfamiliar sense of wanting to move heaven and earth to make it better for her—even by just the tiniest piece.

  I sat, utterly dumbfounded and speechless as her story spilled out, weighing me down as it eased some of Lil’s burden. She gave me everything, blow by blow, even answering the unspoken question that I didn’t dare let pass my lips.

  “Mace and I don’t have anything going on together. He is the one who dropped everything to help me through. He was relentless even when the others didn’t know what else to do; even Kimmie or Mickey couldn’t drag me out of the funk I was stuck in. Mace gave all of himself to me to make sure I made it out the other side. He made sure I kicked the booze, went back to finish my nursing quals, and to be honest, I can’t help but think that he partly blames himself for what happened. It was him and Mickey who had to break the news to me, and it wasn’t pretty. Mace is there for me, and I for him, always, without question.”

  Raking my fingers through my hair, I tried to get my head around everything she just told me. So many things made sense now; her accusations, Mickey’s over protective behaviour, the booze embargo… The special connection she had with Mace.

  “How could anyone ever do that to you, Lil? You are such a beautiful person inside and out. What I saw of you today at work just emphasises that. Your asshole ex wasn’t remotely good enough for you and it’s bullshit what he put you through.”

  I slid closer and reached for her. Lil let me pull her onto my lap and leaned her shoulder against my chest when I wrapped my arms around her waist. In this moment, I wanted to protect her and fix everything broken in her world. Not just because I had been jealous of her connection with Mace, but because she was a strong woman with a heart of gold. However, I of all people, knew it was never that simple.

  “If I ever see him anywhere in the world, I will punch him off the face of this earth, just for you,” I ru
mbled in complete seriousness.

  Lil giggled and squeezed my bicep. “I don’t doubt that for a second. Thank you.”

  I cupped the back of her neck and drew her mouth closer to mine, so close that with each breath our lips all but brushed together.

  “Let me see you again. Just us,” I whispered while flicking my gaze between her pretty eyes and sexy as hell mouth.

  “What, no please?” she breathed back.

  “Batman doesn’t beg, he commands,” I drawled in a deep tone.

  Lil pulled back, feigning regret. “Seems we’ve reached an impasse then.”

  I slid one hand up the bumpy path of her spine as the other wove around her hip. I used both holds to gently tug her closer. So close that her breasts pressed against my chest when she twisted in my lap. Her hands smoothed up my arms and wrapped around my neck where her fingers could weave through my hair.

  I sighed unintentionally from her touch, realising how much I’d missed the feel of a woman beneath my hands. It had literally been years since I welcomed and craved the intimacy that Lil so easily lit within me. My desire for her burned low in my belly, consuming my thoughts, lacing through my veins to the point I began to struggle holding back. I wanted, needed, to take this slow, savouring her, devouring her, absorbing everything about her over time until I knew her mind, body and soul as well as I did the back of my hand.

  However, my head and heart still battled with my body’s reaction as Lil grazed her lips over mine, gently teasing my resolve. The cracks in my already broken heart tore wider as guilt began to rise. Vibrations of restraint coursed through me as I fought off the wave of self-condemnation while running my tongue along her bottom lip.

  My breath was barely a whisper. “One chance, Sunshine, that’s all I ask.”

  She tightened her grip on my neck and moved to straddle me, her thighs squeezing the outside of mine.

  “So, Batman doesn’t beg, but he dates?” she murmured against my lips.

  I scoffed under my breath; I didn’t bloody date either, but for Lil, I would try to change that.

  “What does your heart say?” she whispered on the passing breeze.

  My head fell back and I cursed softly into the darkening sky. “I’m a broken man, Lil. I’ve been through hell and am still nowhere close to emerging out the other side. The side of me you’ve only seen so far? That’s not the real me. Well, the old real me. Fuck, I don’t know if I can ever be that man again.”

  Lil gently lifted my head so she could look at me closely. The amber flecks in her eyes sparkled in the last of the setting sun. Despite their beauty, I saw pain and sadness lingering within them.

  The moment was indescribable and my internal reaction caught me off guard. I wanted to pause us, right here, right now, and lock it away forever in the deepest place within me where only I knew where to find it. I returned her tentative smile then lowered my sight to her lips as she licked them nervously. I couldn’t tear my eyes away, nor could I prevent the rumble of approval from my throat when she moved in my lap. I knew she felt how much I wanted her; the two thin layers between us did sweet fuck all to hide it.

  Cupping her face in my hands, I guided her face towards mine and ran my nose down hers until our lips finally made contact. Softly and slowly to begin with, I kissed her with a tenderness that was in complete contrast to what we shared previously. I felt her relax against my touch, opening her lips more, granting me access to her mouth. Slowly our urgency heightened and our movements increased in hunger.

  Each pass of her fingertips against my skin left a blazing trail of desire in their wake. I let my hands wander, enjoying every little moan or sigh she made against my mouth, then smiled against her lips when my thumb found her piercing.

  Fuck, she tasted and felt good, too good. Tightening my grip, I stilled her and held her hips hard against me as I slowly tore my lips from hers. When I pulled back, Lil’s vision stole my breath. Her eyes were wide and shone with recklessness I hadn’t seen since Kimmie’s party. They pegged me to the spot as she looked down at me like I was all she ever needed.

  I didn’t know how she did this to me; I wasn’t meant to want, to crave, to feel ever again. Yet, despite how much I tried to deny it, I wanted all those things and so much more.

  I used this moment to study her face. The mascara on her lashes had slipped, leaving black smudges under her lower lashes. Wisps of loose hair were dampened and plastered to her flushed neck and forehead. Her lips were pouted and her chin was reddened from where my beard had made contact with her sensitive skin, and the combination of all of the above teased the hell out of me.

  As much as I wanted to have more of her, it was my subconsciousness that set me back.

  Fuck. What was I DOING!

  I no longer saw Lil as my mind turned against itself. It took me back to happier times; ones when I thought everything in the world was so fucking perfect and looked forward to my life filled with love and wholeness.

  Trust wasn’t an issue for me, but the guilt. The guilt fucking devastated me at every turn. Now, with Lil in my arms, it systematically clawed its way through my mind, tainting even the freshest of memories.

  Lil and I had confided in each other, shared a small, blemished snippet from our past, to a point where trust and understanding began to form between us; both of which were incredibly important to the two of us.

  Lil began to squirm under my gaze and rubbed at her mouth and chin. “What? Do I have beard rash?”

  I forced a chuckle, brushing off the burden that gave me heartburn. She looked gorgeous all worried.

  “Just enjoying the view, Sunshine. But we need to stop.”

  It came out gruffer than I intended and I immediately felt like an ass when hurt flicked across her face. I wanted her, of course I did, but when—if—we even went there, it was definitely not going to be in here. I looked at the water surrounding us. God knows what kind of crap was in the spa water right now.

  Lil jerked her head and began to slide off my lap. Digging my fingers into her hips again, I stopped her then wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. I needed one last taste, and I took her lips hard and fast, claiming them for a few frenzied seconds before pulling back, allowing her to move into the deeper groove of the corner seat.

  Her chest heaved as much as mine did. What I was feeling confused me so bad, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was torn.

  “This leaves you in somewhat of a predicament.” Lil cocked her head to indicate at my crotch with a devious smirk.

  I scoffed and ran a hand through my mussed hair. “Keep lookin’ at me like that, Sunshine, and it won’t ever go down. I’ll sort it out later.”

  “Alone?” Again with her devilish smile.

  “Jesus Lil, you might just be the death of me.”

  Quietly cursing my ‘predicament’, I tilted my head back against the side and closed my eyes in an attempt to regain some goddamn self-control.

  “Just as well I’m a medical professional. I know how to keep you alive if needs be.”

  “At this rate, there will be a needs be,” I grumbled.

  She giggled and laid her head back against the side, mirroring my own position.

  Night had fallen during our intimacy, and now in the dark, Lil appeared soothed and relaxed. The tension had eased from her shoulders and the crease had disappeared from between her eyebrows. And just like that, everything seemed okay between us. A shiver racked over her body and I wouldn’t have noticed unless I was watching her intently.

  “Cold? We should probably get out.”

  Lil rolled her head my way as a playful smile tipped the corners of her lips. She stilled for a second and I stopped to try and focus on whatever she heard. Half a minute later, heavy footsteps stomped within the house and the window closest to the spa swung open. To my surprise, a towel was dropped onto the lawn beside us before the window slammed closed again.

  “That was you, wasn’t it?” It was safe to say that I found the whole t
elepathic thing more than weird. “So, Mace wasn’t bullshitting? You and Mickey really can read each other’s thoughts?”

  “Only when it’s wanted. And for the most part it comes in handy.”

  When I realised she wasn’t going to look away, I angled my body so she copped an eyeful of my ass and the ink on my back as I climbed out. I glanced over my shoulder with a smirk and I picked up the towel. Sure enough, Lil hadn’t torn her eyes off my body.

  My smirk faltered as I struggled to shake off the feeling of familiarity; no woman had looked at me like I meant that much to them in a long time.

  Quickly drying, I waited until Lil was out and wrapped in a towel before I tossed my towel at her.

  “I suggest you hold this up, Sunshine, if you don’t want to cop more of an eyeful.”

  Lil’s mouth parted in confusion then dropped with a gasp as I pushed my underwear down. I chuckled as she scrambled to hold the towel up and shield me from view. After pulling on my jeans and zipping them, I turned to her and ran my thumb over her jaw.

  “Thank you, Lil. For more than you know.”

  She snagged my hand and smiled. “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. Now get your ass inside.”

  She led the way with a giggle, and I would be lying if I said my eyes weren’t glued to her ass.

  Inside, we found Mace and Mickey watching a movie. Seeing us come in, Mace jumped up and gave Lil a tight hug before suggesting we get going.

  Mickey, surprising the hell out of me, shuffled over and stopped just shy of my personal bubble. Since we were roughly the same height, he met my suspicious glare with ease.

  “I overreacted and was out of line. I take it you now understand why?”

  Seeing me nod stiffly, he offered a hand in the small space between us. I accepted by slapping my palm onto his in a handshake that was a silent battle of strength. It communicated that neither of us was particularly fond of the other, but we were willing to make allowances for Lil’s sake.