by VR Baucke
“Fuck, I can’t stop touching you,” he mumbled, pulling my leg up around his waist and grinding harder against me. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Sunshine, but I can’t fucking help myself.”
“You don’t need to fight it. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about, Lil. You deserve someone who’s whole, who’s not going to drag you down into the dark.”
I looked up to see his brown depths trained on me, boring so deep into my soul where no one had ever reached before. His gaze became more intense with each word I spoke.
“I deserve someone who’s going to accept me for who I am and not try to change me. I deserve someone who can give them self to me in a way that scares them to the centre of their being. Someone who’s gonna fight for me as hard and as fiercely as they can, because to them, I would be worth the battle. And I deserve to be loved so hard it hurts in every way imaginable.”
Gage rested his forehead against mine where the tip of our noses met.
“We need to go downstairs.”
Disappointment washed through me.
I took a risk by opening my heart and speaking my mind, and it appeared to have backfired. I nodded, because if I talked my voice would have held a definite waver. I took comfort in the fact that he took my hand and didn’t let go until I was sitting in a deckchair outside.
TWENTY-FOUR
GAGE
I KNEW WHEN she spoke those words they came directly from her heart and were intended to ignite a passion within me that couldn’t be falsified. And you know what? They fucking hit home like a sledgehammer.
Lil deserved all those things and so much more, and it killed me right now that I couldn’t be the man to give everything she needed, and more.
As much as she tried to hide it, I felt her body deflate the moment I changed the subject, suggesting we head downstairs. The longer we stayed in her room, the further my resolve slipped. I wanted her more than anything, and that scared the living shit out of me.
I didn’t drink during the party, conscious that I needed to ride home later. Also, Lil hadn’t given me an answer to my question.
We sat around the outdoor fire and I was more than aware of Kimmie and Lil across the flames, talking and stealing glances my way. Likewise, I was aware of Mickey sitting to my right and glaring in my direction while I had a yarn to Neek.
“I gotta get going,” Mace announced. He was bouncing tonight at one of the local clubs. “Am I gonna see you two later?” he questioned, pointing at Mickey and Trav.
“Probably, most definitely,” Trav yahooed.
“Fuck. Just don’t give me a reason to kick your arses out.”
Mickey scoffed and flicked Mace the bird as Trav, again, replied for them both, “You can sober drive us home after shut down.”
“I can, as long as you let me do my job without being dipshits.”
That was where I joined the conversation. “Well, if you’re bringing those two home, then don’t expect me to be there.”
“Why? Where you gonna be?” Mace smirked.
I took a sip of coke. “Dunno yet.”
My attention couldn’t help be drawn across the fire to Lil, who was playing slaps with a rolling drunk Kimmie. Mace clapped me on the shoulder and gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured on his way past.
Ignoring the jests being hurled at his back, Mace disappeared around the side of the house.
It was another three hours before Neek gave everyone the bums rush to finish their drinks and get in the car if they wanted a ride to town. I glanced down at Lil where she was snuggled against my side, and caught her and Mickey glaring daggers at each other.
I was beginning to get used to their way of communicating now, so I didn’t think anything of it until her hand landed on my thigh, suggestively close to my crotch.
Drawing her closer, I stooped to speak against the shell of her ear. “Now who’s the one playing with fire?”
She turned her wide eyes on me and my heart skipped a fucking beat. When I licked my lips, it drew her sight downwards.
“Not sure yet,” she crooned.
I flicked a look across the fire to find Neek watching us with a knowing smirk. Holding his eye contact, I dropped my head to speak in undertones to Lil again.
“You coming home with me or am I staying here?”
I felt her shift then her face became level with mine. Looking me square in the eye, she issued a statement I was sure held deeper meaning.
“If you want me, all of me, you’ll know where to find me.”
In other words; don’t waste your time if you aren’t going to man up and take a risk. And, if she had been anyone else, I would have walked away at that very moment. With Lil, however, that wasn’t happening.
She got up and collected an armful of empties then disappeared around the side of the garage where the bin was kept. Mickey straightened and sprinted after her moments later.
Filled with alarm, I followed. Lil ran into my chest as Mickey stalked off down the driveway.
“What the fuck just happened?” I demanded.
“I think someone was watching us,” Lil puffed.
With a sharp shove that propelled Lil back into the back yard, I took off after Mickey and together we methodically searched the front yard and street. Coming up frustratingly empty, Mickey and I exchanged a look that didn’t need words to explain what we both thought.
Once the crew—minus Mace—were all gathered around the fire again, Mickey turned to me.
“You’re staying with her tonight, right?”
Seeing his clenched fists, I cautiously answered. “I am now.”
Mickey looked at Lil and she nodded.
“Keep her safe while I’m out. Who knows who the fuck that was. Hopefully it was just a one off.”
Him and Lil shared a moment again.
I darted my glare between them. “What am I missing?”
Lil hesitated a beat, glancing at Mickey before she spoke. “When I got home from night shift the other night, I’m positive someone was watching me. Mickey checked it out but there was nothing.” She shivered. “Gah, it’s giving me the creeps!”
“Pack an overnight bag. You’re coming back to mine tonight.”
She stared at me long and hard, not arguing, yet not agreeing. Eventually, her subtle nod was all the approval I needed.
Lil made her way upstairs to pack while Trav doused the fire. Mickey was by my side within the same instant, and I cut in before he spoke.
“When I arrived this morning, there was a green Holden station wagon parked across the street. It took off as soon as I got close. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now it seems odd. Might be nothing though.”
Mickey cursed and scrubbed a hand through his hair, leaving it wild and unruly.
“Why didn’t you say earlier? Fuck. Maybe I need to rain check on town and hang out with Lil.”
“Mate, I didn’t think anything of it. Besides, I’ve got it sorted.” I tried not to snap while throwing one arm wide and gesturing to myself. “I’ll be with her.”
Mickey eyed me, his jaw twitching. “I can’t say I’m over the fucking moon about this, and I appreciate you watching out for Lil, but I’m gonna say this nonetheless; don’t fuck with her. She’s not as hard-ass as she appears. Underneath her tough exterior, she never fully recovered from her last relationship. I don’t want it to happen again.”
“Demons are demons, that doesn’t mean I want to dance with them.”
Mickey’s lip curled. “What the fuck does that even mean?”
Not bothering to hide my smirk, I clarified for him. “It means, I fucking know how it feels to be broken inside and I’ve seriously considered my options when it comes to Lil, not wanting to dredge hers up all over again. I’m an all-in or nothin’ kind of guy.”
“So, which one are you with her?” he challenged.
I glar
ed at him for a moment, fucked off that he was cornering me into making admissions I wasn’t yet ready to voice out loud.
“All in,” I growled into his face.
He grabbed the front of my shirt and fisted it roughly. “You’d better fucking mean it.”
“How about you watch where your own piss is landing instead of focusing on everyone else’s.”
His eyes flared at my insinuation then he stilled. I looked over his shoulder to see Lil, with hands on her hips standing next to Kimmie on the deck. Lil was leaning into the glare she aimed at the back of Mickey’s head. She then gasped as her eyes snapped to me.
“What did you say to her?” I demanded, fisting his shirt in return.
“You’ll need to ask Lil for yourself.”
“You know what? It’s a pity Kimmie doesn’t have a big brother to stick up for her, because if I was her brother, I would beat the fuck out of you. Like I said, focus on where you are pissing.”
“You’re an asshole,” Mickey spat, giving a little shove before he stepped away.
I headed to my motorbike. “I know,” I snapped.
Mickey gave Lil a quick lecture about staying safe then aimed a final glare at me before he climbed into the backseat of Neek’s car, with Trav and Kimmie in tow.
Trav hollered out the window as they peeled down the street, headed for town.
I waited until Lil climbed on behind me and pressed her breasts against my back before I started my bike and followed in the same direction as the crew.
The ride to mine passed too quickly; I could have ridden all night with Lil sitting pretty behind me. Riding with her today had been fucking amazing. The ease we now had together, not needing to say a single word to communicate, was refreshing to say the least.
Arriving home, I locked my Victory in the garage next to Mace’s Hog and headed for the house.
“C’mon, Sunshine.”
Lil stepped up to the side door and unlocked it.
“You have a key?”
She turned at my surprise. “Sure I have a key. Why?”
I floundered, not wanting to get possessive over the fact she had a key to Mace’s house.
“No reason.”
“Uh huh,” she drawled.
Flicking on a couple of lights, I grabbed her hand and tugged her towards my room, practically catapulting her over the threshold in some sort of fucked up display of alpha rivalry.
I tossed her bag in the corner then stalked towards her, blindsided by a primal instinct I had long since forgotten. I needed this, I needed Lil, and I needed her right fucking now.
“PJs time?” Lil asked, her breathing already growing shallow.
“If you packed flannelette, then hell no.”
Her laughter bubbled freely and she stepped away half a pace. I countered the distance by taking a step towards her, scrutinising her every reaction. The barest hint of a smile tugged her lips.
“Maybe I’ll have to sleep naked then.”
Christ.
“You provoking me, Sunshine?”
Lil scoffed. “Says the person who all but threw me into their room.”
I took another stalk forward. “Do you want to leave?”
And another step to counter the small pace she took around the corner of my bed.
She snorted. “As if you would listen if I said yes.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Lil. Do you want to leave?”
I rounded the corner, still stalking towards her as she stepped onto my bed and bent her knees for balance. Her eyes flickered with glee as she tormented me.
“Do you want me to?”
“You’re in my room, aren’t you?” I countered.
“Doesn’t answer my question, Batman.”
Not caring that I was still wearing boots, I stepped onto my bed and managed to snag Lil’s wrist as she made to jump off the other side. The unexpected tug sent her bouncing onto the mattress with a shout of surprise. I fell to my knees beside her and held her arms outstretched either side of her body while she giggled and squirmed.
There, in that moment, I could hand on heart say I was happy and Lil was the sole reason for that.
I waited until her laughter petered out. It was then that I looked down at her with utmost sincerity.
“No, I don’t want you to leave.”
Her softened reply matched her concerned expression. “Gage, after what happened last time, I shouldn’t stay in here with you. I can use the office.”
Although there was minor relief that she hadn’t suggested she sleep in Mace’s room, I was angry at myself from putting those doubts in her head in the first place. Last time was a one off; I wasn’t going to let that happen again. Not for my sake, but for Lil’s.
“I haven’t stopped wanting you, Lil. In fact, not being able to have you makes me want you even more.”
Her sight dropped to my lips as she issued a whispered challenge. “Prove it.”
I lowered myself until my dick pressed between her legs.
“Feel this? I haven’t been this hard over a woman for years, Lil. You fucking do this to me. Every goddamn day for weeks, you’ve given my dick a mind of its own. Only thing now is, I want what he wants.”
The way she bit into her lower lip had me smirking with satisfaction.
“And what’s that?” she asked coyly.
My voice dropped low as I forced out one word. “You,”
Lil’s mouth parted in an invitation I wasn’t passing up. I sealed mine over hers, my tongue immediately seeking hers, unable to wait a moment longer to get a taste of her. She was sweet from the lemonade she’d been drinking all night long, and it was her drawn out hum that was the catalyst for our kiss turning heated and filled with untameable desire.
Riding leathers got removed with urgency that left us both reeling and breathing hard. There wasn’t a pause until she was under me again, completely naked and looking so fucking delectable.
With my hand splayed wide, I smoothed it up the back of her thigh until her ass filled my palm. Her fingers weaving through my hair brought our mouths back together, and the sharp tug on my scalp super-charged my lust. Each movement, every sensation and sound, fuelled my hunger for her.
I groaned as soon as my dick slid through the wetness between her legs. “We’re so fucking doing this.”
Before Lil could reply, my lips were back on hers in a frantic, wild, uncontrolled kiss that was both punishing and demanding.
Reaching back to tug Lil’s legs until her knee was bent by her shoulder, I kept my hold on her ankles as I ducked, needing at have at least one taste of her before my dick did. She gasped as my tongue made contact between her legs, and fuck me if I didn’t go back for seconds.
So goddamn sweet, so goddamn perfect.
The squeeze Lil had around my dick when I finally slipped inside her had me clenching my jaw and all but praying I could keep my shit together for more than a single minute.
Lil’s body, so smooth and soft under my calloused palms, was faultless. Each of her curves, her blemishes, her imperfections, were goddamn perfect.
The whirlwind of lust that followed was a blur of panting, moaning, cursing, hair pulling, begging, and demanding right before pushing her over the edge, was everything I hoped for and more than I ever imagined it would be with her.
With a final hard thrust, I shuddered and groaned my way through one hell of an orgasm. Lil’s legs fell wide, fully relaxed either side of my thighs, as I lay panting into her dampened neck.
“Holy shit, that was one hundred times better than I’d imagined,” I confessed, my lips coming to rest where her pulse raced against my lips.
Her hands lazily grazed up and down my back, leaving goose bumps in their wake.
There was a smile to her voice. “So, you’ve imagined doing me?”
“Fucking you. And yeah, every night since you seared me with a look of pure disgust like I was the Devil's own spawn.”
Lil’s body vibrated in laughter. �
�Well, I hope I lived up to expectations.”
“Exceeded them, babe.”
“And it wasn’t disgust. It was rage.”
I pulled back and questioned her with a single look.
“I can’t explain it. Just that you infuriated me from the moment you opened your mouth and I looked up to see you glaring down at me.”
“I bet that’s changed,” I drawled.
Lil scoffed softly. “I bet it hasn’t.”
“I bet I can make you come again, and just as quickly.”
A wicked grin spread across her lips. “I bet you can’t.”
“I’ll prove it. Just gimme ten to recharge.”
I rolled and tucked her into my side, holding her close as she settled with her head on my chest.
Despite the maelstrom of emotions and turmoil ebbing and flowing within me, I was surprised to find that regret and guilt weren’t one of them this time. And, for the first time in a long time, I was okay with that.
An hour later, I had Lil sleeping beside me with her ass nestled in my crotch. My arm remained under her head as she breathed heavily into my inner elbow.
A tiny broken part of me was pieced back together tonight, and having Lil sleeping in my arms was healing yet another fragment.
TWENTY-FIVE
GAGE
RUMBLING TO A stop in Lil and Mickey’s backyard a week later, I’m borderline desperate to get my hands on Lil again. Mickey had better leave pronto because, after a full day at work, I now had plans.
I knocked on the door and turned the knob without waiting for someone to let me in.
Locked.
What the? They locked me out?
I was mid-turn to go around the front when I heard hasty footsteps inside jogging in my direction. Mickey opened the door as little as possible and darted a suspicious look through the gap. Taking in my scowl with an eye roll, he swung the door wider and ushered me in like we were part of an undercover operation of the highest security.
“What’s all that about? You would’ve heard my bike when I arrived...”
He looked worried and his frown was more prominent than usual.
“We’re being extra careful at the moment.”