She reached down and kissed Aggie on the check. “You are part of my family now, Aggie. I hope you will soon feel the same way about us.”
Stunned into silence, Aggie watched the curvy figure of her mother-in-law leave her room and quietly close the door behind her.
Tears burned again. Gertrude was right. Hiram’s offer of marriage had saved her and her unborn child from untold horrors at the end of the war. He had given her ample time and space to deal with her emotions and her new situation. More than most men would have done. She felt ashamed. It was time she started living in the present, but she wasn’t ready to turn her back on her past. Every corner of her heart still belonged to James. And right now, at least today anyway, she wasn’t willing to make room in her heart for Hiram. At least, no room to be more than friends. Was she being unfair? She certainly hoped not.
Hiram gathered his papers together after his last court case finished. He wanted to get home as soon as possible tonight. Aggie had promised to have tea with him in the library. The last thing he wanted was to get held up by someone wanting to ask him questions. And he needed to speak with his mother about Prudence Pendergast’s demands for a tea party. He just hoped his mother would see the importance of giving the woman what she wanted, otherwise this whole situation could get very sticky.
“Hiram,” the opposing counsel called out to him from across the courtroom. “Could I have a word with you about the Bishop case? There seems to be some confusion about some of the evidence—”
“Sorry, Bertrand. I can’t spare the time tonight. Tomorrow morning perhaps?” he called over his shoulder as he shoved his papers unceremoniously into his leather briefcase and snapped it shut.
He saw the surprised look on Bertrand William’s face. He didn’t blame the man. Hiram always made time for colleagues. He had spent hours smoking cigars and sipping good Irish whiskey, as well as cussing and discussing the finer points of law. But not tonight. Tonight was special and he didn’t want to waste a moment of his time with Aggie by talking to his bearded friend.
He scurried out the door and quickly nodded to a couple passing by. He had seen the gentleman before, but he didn’t stop to visit. He was not going to let anyone, or anything, prevent him from getting home to Aggie. Not tonight.
Hiram hailed a hired carriage and hopped aboard. Twenty minutes later, the carriage pulled up in front of his parent’s impressive estate. He quickly paid the driver and hurried up the staircase to the front door.
One of the double doors swung open wide just as he reached for the doorknob. “Hello, Spencer. Where is everyone?” Hiram handed his hat and topcoat to the doorman and hurried down the hall toward the dining room. Spencer called after him, “Your parents are in the dining room, Sir. Your wife is on the garden terrace.”
Hiram changed direction mid-step and turned from the dining room where he heard his father’s booming German-accented voice laughing at something his mother must have said. He smiled to himself. One day he wanted a marriage like his parents had. One day. When Aggie was ready And, oh, how he was looking forward to that day.
His quick footsteps clipped over the polished wood flooring. He covered the distance to the back of the house to the solarium in less than a minute.
The crystal leaded glass windows reflected the faint orange glow of the sun’s last rays just before dusk disintegrated into the midnight blue of night. This was his favorite time of the day. The horizon was pained with coral, pink, and orange streaks of color mixed with blues and purples against an iron gray sky.
It was then he saw his wife’s silhouette next to the railing looking out over the gardens.
“Good evening, Aggie. What brought you out here? Mother and Father are already at dinner. Are you not hungry?”
Aggie turned and offered him a weak smile, pulling her shawl tighter around her shoulders. “Hello, Hiram. I’m not feeling well this evening. I thought perhaps a bit of fresh air would help ease my distress.”
Hiram stepped against the railing next to her and pulled her hands into his. He searched her face for signs of distress. “And did it, my sweet?”
“Perhaps a little,” she admitted to him squeezing his hands with her fingers.
“Do you think you can eat something now? I can have Cook make you some soup. Or perhaps—”
“I’m fine, Hiram. I’d rather go inside and sit by the fire in the library. I’m not much in the mood for company. Would you mind? Jeffrey started a fire earlier and I think the warmth will help soothe my aching bones.”
“Of course, my dear. Of course.” Hiram was concerned about Aggie’s welfare. He placed a gentle arm around her shoulders and guided her inside the house, closing the glass paneled doors between the garden terrace and the house.
Hiram ushered her down the hall and into the library. The soft warm glow of the crackling fire invited them in.
“Here you go, my dear. Sit here.” He guided Aggie to the overstuffed settee near the fire. “What would you like to drink? Tea perhaps?”
Aggie nodded. “Yes, I think some of Cook’s lavender tea with cream and sugar would be just the thing to chase away my chills. And perhaps it would help me sleep. I’ve had quite a time of it lately. Nightmares and all.”
He watched a slight shiver ripple through her body and she pulled her shawl closer. It worried him to see her so fragile. He hoped everything was alright with the baby, but he hesitated to ask feeling it would be too personal.
He walked to the bellpull to ring for some tea. Soon, Gladys, the downstairs’ maid knocked against the frame of the open door and curtsied.
“Yes, sir. How may I be of service?”
“Gladys, please get Mrs. Hanover some tea. With cream and sugar.” He smiled to his servant.
“And for you, sir?”
“Nothing, for me. I’ll pour myself a good portion of Irish whiskey from the liquor cabinet. Thank you, Gladys.”
Hiram nodded and the woman excused herself to see to the tea. He poured himself a healthy splash of whiskey from the crystal bottle, and replaced the stopper. Eager to sit beside Aggie, he found his seat next to his wife. He set his glass on the table in front of them, and waited for the tea to arrive.
“Don’t wait for me, Hiram. Please, enjoy your drink. My tea will be here any moment.” Aggie pulled her shawl around her shoulders.
“I will in a moment. Right now, I’d like to know what it is that ails you. Shall I call the doctor? Is it the baby that pains you?” He worried about how thin she had become since leaving Savannah.
“I’m not in pain, Hiram. I can’t really say for sure what ails me. I just don’t feel well, I suppose,” she admitted.
“Perhaps after the baby comes, you will feel more like yourself. And you will certainly have plenty to keep you busy. I hear babies are quite the handful.”
“Yes, I suppose they are. Of course, with your parents and the staff, I fear there won’t be much for me to do then either.” Her wisp of a smile made him sad.
“If you are bored, Aggie, I can ask mother to invite some ladies over. You can visit over tea, perhaps play whist and make some new friends. Then once the babe is here, I’m sure you will have more than enough to do even with the help of—”
“Hiram, I need to talk to you about something. Something very important.” Aggie stood and pulled her shawl close again as if using it as armor against something.
He jumped up from the settee and followed her to the window. His heart stuttered in his chest for fear she had come to the realization that she no longer wanted to be married to him.
Hiram turned her toward him and pulled her hands into his again. He wanted her to look at him. Her beautiful blue eyes stabbed his with their crystal depths. “Aggie, whatever is troubling you, we will deal with it. Together.”
He tilted his head and peered at her from under his eyebrows hoping to encourage her to speak freely. After all, they had been close friends long before they said their wedding vows.
Aggie nodded and squee
zed his hands in return, but she still seemed hesitant to speak. Was she going to say something he would regret? He took a deep breath and braced for it. Whatever it was, he would just have to talk her out of it.
A soft knock on the door indicated Gladys had returned. “Here’s your tea, ma’am. Would you like me to pour?” Gladys sat the silver tray with the delicate porcelain teacups on the table next to his glass of whiskey.
“No thank you, Gladys. I will do it myself.” Aggie offered the woman a genuine smile of thanks.
Gladys turned to go when Aggie stopped her. “Gladys, will you please close the doors behind you?”
Gladys curtsied. “Very well, madame.” Gladys left the room and closed the library doors with a gentle click.
Now Hiram was really worried, but he remained quiet. Whatever bad news was coming would come soon enough.
Aggie resumed her place on the settee, spreading her skirt around her. Hiram gingerly sat down next to her and picked up his drink. He was tempted to toss the entire contents down the back of his throat, but that would be the coward’s way of dealing with whatever bad news Aggie was preparing him for.
So instead, he picked up his glass and swirled the whiskey around the inside of the glass watching streaks of amber liquid snake its way down the inside of the glass to join the rest.
After Aggie finished preparing her cup of tea, she turned to him. “Now, let’s have that talk, shall we?”
Hiram nodded and despite his good intentions, he tossed his whiskey down his throat in one big gulp.
Chapter 3
Aggie could tell her husband was nervous and her guilt returned for making him doubt her commitment to him. She was committed to him. She just didn’t love him like a husband wanted to be loved by his wife.
“Hiram, I don’t know if I’ve told you lately how much I appreciate everything you and your parents have done for me,” she began.
“Um, actually I think it was just this morning if I am not mistaken.”
“Oh, was it? Well, I’m sure I can’t say it enough.” Aggie reached for the cup and saucer and took a small sip of the hot liquid.
“I’m not sure I agree. As I told you this morning, gratitude isn’t necessary. I helped you because I wanted to.” She watched him rise and again pour himself a half measure of whiskey. He was agitated. Did he sense what she was feeling? She needed to say something that would make him feel more secure in their marriage. After all, she wasn’t going anywhere. Especially not after the conversation she and her mother-in-law had this morning. A sudden idea came to mind.
“Come sit down.”
Hiram returned to his seat beside her and turned to her. “What is so important, Aggie?”
“Well, I thought that since my confinement is up in a few months, we should perhaps discuss names.” She reached over and squeezed his hand in hopes of calming the poor man’s nerves.
“Names?” Puzzlement clouded his eyes as he studied her face.
“Yes, names. For the baby. My family’s names are important to me. Your family is from Germany, so I’m sure you will want to consider your ancestral names.” Aggie smiled at Hiram in encouragement. And of course there’s James’ family names.
“You…would…you would consider my family’s names?” Hiram seemed thunderstruck by the idea.
“Of course. She, or he,” Aggie rubbed her stomach underneath her voluminous skirts, “will be a member of this family. Why wouldn’t I want to consider a name from your side of the family?”
Hiram stood and paced. “Well, I don’t know. I mean I hadn’t considered that you would want to. I mean, I just assumed you would—”
“Want to name the baby after James?” Aggie offered. What could she say? Before this morning, and Gertrude’s rather frank analysis of her situation, that’s exactly what she was planning. But now, she realized there was a new family that deserved consideration too. At present, she could not offer Hiram the love of a wife, but she could offer him a link to the future.
“I think under the circumstances, there’s room in this baby’s family tree to add one more branch, don’t you?” She raised her brows in question.
Hiram refilled his glass and turned to her. “I think it’s a wonderful notion, Aggie. A wonderful notion indeed.”
“Hiram, come sit next to me and let’s talk about some names you might be fond of.” She patted the settee next to her and watched her friend-turned-husband’s eyes light up.
“Why, I’d be delighted.” He quickly returned to his seat next to her. Hope glowed on his face and once again she felt remorseful for making the man suffer all these months, especially when he had been so generous. “Well, where shall we start?” he asked.
“I think we should start with boy’s names first. Let’s make a list of all the names you consider worthy of a new son and then when we have exhausted those names, we’ll move on to girl’s names, just in case we have a daughter instead of a son.” Aggie smoothed her skirts and pulled out the tablet and pencil she had tucked underneath the pillow on the settee earlier in the day.
“In case we have a…son?” Hiram once again looked thunderstruck.
“Well, yes. It will be one or the other, Hiram. We will either have a daughter or a son. There are no other options as far as I know.” She laughed at his shocked face.
She should have opened up to him months ago, but all she had managed to reward him with so far was her indifference. It hadn’t been deliberate. She had just been self-absorbed with her own misery. But now that her eyes had been opened by his mother, she would not deny her shortcomings as a wife, and she would do her best to make up for them.
“I’m truly sorry that I have been so distant, Hiram. It isn’t because I don’t…” What was she going to say? She cared for Hiram, but she wasn’t ready to declare that she loved him. She feared that would lead him to believe she was ready to share her life with him, her bed with him, but she wasn’t ready for any of that. Not yet.
“…care for you. I do have feelings for you, Hiram. Honestly, I do. You have been the rock that I have leaned on during, well—everything. It’s just that, I am struggling to come to grips with this new life of mine…ours.”
“I understand, my darling. Life has thrown some pretty hard punches in your direction. I’m only glad that I have been able to offer you some comfort during these difficult times.”
“I wish I could say everything you want to hear, Hiram. I truly do. I feel inadequate at present. I’m not a good wife. I know that. The best I can do right now is share the opportunity…to make new memories. And one of those is the chance to name this child.”
She could tell Hiram was pleased in part, but she sensed he held his emotions in check. It was probably for the best for she would be unable to return his sentiments if he declared his love for her.
Perhaps after they decided on a name for the baby together, he would be satisfied with their situation. At least for the time being.
“Now, where shall we start?” she urged her husband to begin.
“As you are well aware, my family is German so our names may seem out-of-step with the usual American ones.”
“I admit I am not up on my German names, but let’s try a few and see where it takes us. So far, your mother’s name, your father’s name, and yours are pleasing to my ear.” She hoped to encourage him to speak his mind.
“Very well. I have an aunt, my mother’s sister, whose name is Gabriella.” He cut a quick look at her as if looking for her approval.
“I like the sound of the name.” She smiled and nodded for him to continue.
“I’m glad.” Hiram inhaled a deep breath and Aggie could see him relax.
“Go on. Tell me some more German names,” she encouraged.
“Well, there’s my uncle Fritz. And I have three cousins: Horst, Holger, and Hugo. Then there’s Gustav, my friend from law school. And Arnulf. And Lars. And…”
“Okay, I see your point,” Aggie admitted. She supposed she was used to the names of H
iram’s family. They didn’t seem as foreign as the ones he just presented her with. The thought of naming a son Horst made her cringe.
“How about we table the boy’s name for the moment and focus on a girl’s name,” she offered hoping for better results. “You said your aunt’s name was Gabriella?”
“Yes. And, I have some more cousins. Girl cousins. There’s Frieda. And Wilhelmine. And Hedwig. That’s Horst, Holger, and Hugo’s little sister. And then there’s…”
Aggie was struggling to stay positive. Wilhelmine? Ugh.
“…my mother’s middle name, Elsa. And then there’s—”
“Wait. What did you say? Elsa?” Aggie’s excitement made the baby move.
“Yes, Elsa. My mother’s middle name. Do you like it?” Hiram’s eyes shined bright with hope.
“I do. I like it a lot. And I know the perfect middle name. My cousin, who’s like a sister to me, is named Rose. If I…we have a daughter, I’d like to name her Elsa Rose. Would you like that, Hiram?”
She saw his happiness. “That would be perfect, Aggie. Absolutely perfect. My mother will be so pleased.”
She took a deep sigh and smiled. “If it’s a girl, the name is chosen. Now, we must decide on a boy’s name next.”
Hiram picked up her hands and held them between his pulling her gaze to him. “I have an idea. If it’s a boy, I think we should name him James Hiram Hanover. If that’s agreeable to you, my sweet.”
Aggie squeezed his hands while his face swam behind her tears. “Oh, Hiram. Would you mind so much?”
“Of course not. The reality of our situation demands open-mindedness and careful consideration. I am well aware Hiram isn’t a popular name for an American boy, so I’m perfectly happy to play second fiddle—”
“Oh, Hiram. This is hard on all of us, including you, and I won’t lie to you, I miss James. I miss him terribly. And as much as I wish things could be different, I’m still mourning him. But he’s gone. Intellectually I know that. And what that means is that you and I are left to love and cherish this little baby, whether it is a girl or a boy. You will be a wonderful father and this child will not consider you a second fiddle father. It will love you as its only father.” Aggie leaned closer and gently kissed Hiram on his cheek.
Aggie Page 4