I was shocked by his characterization and, frankly, insulted. “If you think I’m so immature and self-destructive (which I was, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him), then why would you love me and want to be with me?”
Kyle blew out a harsh breath and threw his hands in the air. “Hell if I know, Maddie. I just do.”
I shook my head, thoroughly confused by the whole situation. And kind of pissed. He certainly wasn’t trying to woo me with pretty words. It was almost as if he wanted me to say no. My anger didn’t last all that long, though, because if I was honest with myself, I knew that wasn’t it. He didn’t want me to say no. He expected me to.
“I want you to come with me when I leave,” he insisted.
My mouth finally started to work, and I shrugged. “I can’t go with you, Kyle.”
“Fine. We can do long distance until I’m done with school.” He sounded tired and…resigned.
I frowned and sighed. “Long distance never works. And I’m not willing to risk what we have in the first place. But long distance would practically ensure that we didn’t make it, and then I would lose you for good.”
Kyle reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “What if I promised you that would never happen?”
I soaked up the warmth from his sweet gesture and words for a moment, then shoved it away before I let it convince me to do something I would regret. I withdrew my hand, and he released it without a fight. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or devastated that he didn’t try to stop me from pulling away. I reminded myself that it was for the best. Not only to preserve our friendship but because I’d committed myself to someone else already.
“You can’t promise that, Kyle,” I said softly. “Besides, I’m with Sam. You can’t compare him to the guys I dated before that.”
Kyle scrubbed his hands over his face. “Debatable,” he grumbled before drawing his gaze back to my face. “And what about the next guy, Mad? I can’t keep watching you shop for losers and then toss them back when you realize they don’t fit right. It kills me because you are worth so much more.”
My heart pounded, and I thought about what it would be like to be with Kyle for a split second. My eyes drifted to his mouth, and heat shot straight to my center. I crossed my legs to squeeze back the desire building there, and when I leaned on my left hip, I felt the dig of the thing I’d been hiding there. The sharp little prick from the stone was like a reality check, breaking me out of my daydreams.
I hadn’t been sure when I would be ready to tell him, but now he’d forced the issue. It was probably better to just rip off the Band-Aid, right? Shoving my fingers into my pocket, I snagged the thing that was about to put a nail in the coffin of what might have been. A white-gold, half-carat diamond ring circled my index finger. “You won’t have to worry about that anymore,” I explained as I removed it and slipped it onto my left ring finger. “Sam asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” I tried to muster up a smile to cover the instinct to wince. What the hell was the matter with me? I was happy to be marrying Sam, and I needed to act like it. “I’m acting like the adult you want me to be and settling down with Sam.”
Kyle jumped to his feet, his blue eyes glued to the ring and filled with outrage. An eerie calm seemed to cloak him, and when his gaze returned to my face, it was bereft of emotion. I felt the emptiness all the way to my soul.
“You mean settling for Sam,” he deadpanned. He pivoted on his heel and stalked to the front door, wrenching it open with such force that it forced the doorstop back into the drywall. He didn’t even give me another glance as he stomped into the hallway. I jumped up and ran after him, ready to bang on his door until he opened it, and we worked things out. We’d always talked things over, refusing to let anything fester and potentially harm our relationship.
But when I reached the middle of the hallway, I skidded to a stop. Kyle wasn’t going to his apartment; he was entering the stairwell. My eyes darted back to his place, and that’s when I noticed the envelope. Mine was still on my kitchen table since I wasn’t leaving until the next day—the same time Kyle was supposed to leave. We were going to have breakfast before driving in opposite directions. My feet started moving on their own, and I raced to the stairwell and followed his path until I burst out of the emergency exit on the first floor. It spilled out to the parking lot, and I spotted Kyle unlocking the driver’s side door of his truck.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish as I walked forward and took in the state of his old, beat-up car. It was full of everything he owned. “You-you’re packed,” I finally managed to stutter. “I don’t understand. We don’t leave until tomorrow.”
Kyle was about to swing up into the cab, but my words caused him to halt, and he turned to face me. “I need some time, Maddie.”
I scanned the vehicle again, and his explanation settled like a lead weight in my stomach. Why was he ready to go? If I’d agreed to go with him, it would have taken some time to deal with all of our combined belongings. We would have needed a moving truck, and—it hit me then. He never expected me to say yes. But I would never have imagined him to be so sure that he was already planning to take off before he’d even given me the chance to decide.
My eyes flew back to his, and there was finally a glimmer of emotion. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh as he shook his head. Then he swung up into the cab and slammed the door. I watched him pull out of the spot and drive away. He’d promised to always be there for me, but deep down, I knew. There was nothing left of us. I didn’t understand why he’d had that conversation with me at all. It was clear that in his mind and heart, he was already gone.
4
Kyle
Six years later
“I’m tired of being in town and on call for multiple ranches,” I complained to my brother. “It’s exhausting, and I’m feeling burned out.” I stared out the front window of my apartment and frowned down at the busy street. I lived in a relatively small town, but it was still too crowded for me.
Ever since I graduated from veterinary school three years ago, I’d been working with another large animal vet in a town just outside of Austin. The nearby ranches were small, and none of them employed a full-time vet, which meant driving out an hour or more when they called for our services. And it was almost impossible for us to keep up with the demand to be in so many places at once.
Bill, the owner of the business, was looking to retire, and he made no secret that he was hoping I’d eventually take over. However, the time had shown me that I wasn’t cut out for it. I wanted the stability that came with being a ranch’s full-time vet so I could build relationships with my animals. As was usually the case on any ranch, I wanted the opportunity to put down roots and develop a surrogate family.
It wasn’t exactly a job that had an abundance of openings, so after spending some time looking into it, I was feeling discouraged, which was why I had called Stone to vent and bounce ideas off him.
“I don’t understand why you won’t take the position at Rebel K,” he said, his irritated grunt loud enough to be heard on the speakerphone. It was an argument we frequently had.
“What is it about ‘I want to stand on my own two feet’ that you don’t understand, Stone?” My tone dripped with sarcasm.
“There’s plenty of land for your two feet to be planted on at my ranch, Kyle.”
I rolled my eyes and wandered away from the window to drop down onto my worn, leather couch. It was all I could afford when I was furnishing my new apartment after school. But it was comfy as hell, so I’d never replaced it. “You know what I mean, Big Brother, so stop pestering me.”
“Helena misses you.”
I glared at my phone as if it was my brother’s face. Then I practically growled, “That’s low, Stone. Even for you.” My sister-in-law was one-in-a-million, and I’d loved her the moment I met her. She was so good for my brother, and she’d never once treated me as anything but family. I hated upsetting her, and Stone was using that against me. Especially
now that she was pregnant and cried at the drop of a hat. It was the main reason I’d called Stone instead of going out to see him. I knew if Helena used her tears on me, I’d be moving to Rebel K Ranch before I could spell manipulation.
Stone snickered. “Can’t blame me for using every tool in my arsenal.” His voice lowered, and he murmured, “It was her idea.”
“Shifting blame to the pregnant woman?” I teased. “I’d never have taken you for a coward, brother.”
“Not a coward,” he argued. “Just being honest.”
“Suuuuure.”
Our conversation changed course when Stone asked me a question about one of his cattle. While we talked, I sat up and grabbed my laptop. It opened up to the same page as always, a job site catering to ranchers and farmers. Without much hope, I scrolled through the listings, looking for keywords. Suddenly, I froze and stared at the name of a familiar ranch. Locke Creek Ranch was looking for a full-time, on-site vet.
Locke Creek bordered my brother’s ranch, and the owners were good friends of Stone’s. Their wives had been best friends before they’d even met and married the ranchers. But that wasn’t why the name of that ranch had me hurtling back in time.
After I left Maddie on the day of graduation, we’d never spoken. I’d never intended to disappear from her life as I did, but as much as I hated to admit it, I’d never gotten over what happened. Hell, as much as I hated to admit it, I’d never gotten over her. Still, through some research and random comments from my brother, I’d been able to learn a few things. But after I saw her engagement announcement in the East Granger and Fort Bering local newspapers, I’d decided to stop stalking and be satisfied with the snippets I received from my brother.
When he mentioned that Maddie had been hired at Locke Creek, I was so proud of her. She’d started as an intern, then earned her master’s degree and moved up to assistant manager. A couple of years ago, she was promoted to manager. I’d almost reached out to congratulate her, then decided against it, figuring I was the last person she’d want to hear from.
I looked over the listing again and groaned. It was my fucking dream job. The fact that I would essentially be working under Maddie... I meant for Maddie, not under. I always pictured her under—I stopped and shook my head hard, trying to chase away those thoughts.
“Should I call the emergency vet?” Stone asked worriedly.
“What?” I had no clue what he was talking about until it dawned on me that I’d zoned out during our conversation about a sick cow. He must have taken my groan as a sign that I was concerned over the animal’s health. “Sorry, no. I’m sure she’ll be fine.” I gave him a couple of things to try and some signs to look for. “If she starts exhibiting any of those symptoms, then call the vet.”
“Thanks.” Stone was silent for a moment, then he asked, “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised when he circled back to my sound of frustration. I had hoped he was too caught up in the animal issue to come back to it. I sighed. “Locke Creek is hiring a full-time vet.”
“I know. I mentioned it last month.”
He had? I wasn’t sure how I’d missed that. However, I’d been busy as fuck for a couple of months when several ranchers in the area had received a bad feed delivery, and a large number of animals had gotten sick.
“Are you going to apply for it?” he asked. He was playing it cool, but I could hear the hope in his tone.
I opened my mouth to say no but stopped myself because I’d need to give him a reason. I couldn’t tell him about Maddie, which meant I had to come up with something else. After a moment, I remembered why I’d dismissed it when he’d told me about it before. I hadn’t put two and two together yet about the ranch and Maddie. “He’s your neighbor and good friend, Stone,” I drawled. “Remember the whole feet thing? Do you forget stuff in your old age?”
He snorted, and I knew he’d just rolled his eyes. If I’d been there, he would have been giving me a one-fingered salute. “We’ll talk about the difference between age and maturity when you’re out of diapers.”
I laughed, and like so many times over the years, I felt grateful that despite the example of his parents, Stone was a kind and generous man. More than anything, I was thankful that he had always treated me like a friend and a brother. I didn’t want his money or influence, but making it on my own didn’t mean ignoring his encouragement and support. And there wasn’t a day when I didn’t get that from him. I just hoped that I gave as good as I got.
“What if I promise not to tell James that we’re related?”
Well, shit. Stone had shot my excuse to pieces like it was a clay pigeon in a skeet shooting match.
Again, I was down to my issues with Maddie.
It irked me that she had so much control over my life. I might have been the one to cut off our communication, but she was the one who stomped on my heart and married someone else before giving us a chance. Why was I letting her keep me from my dreams?
As I thought about what to tell Stone, his diaper comment suddenly hit me a little harder than I expected. I was thirty fucking years old, and I needed to start acting like it. Maddie and I were adults; we should be able to put the past behind us and work together as professionals.
This opportunity was everything I’d ever wanted for my career, and Locke Creek Ranch had one of the best reputations in the state of Texas.
“Okay, bro. I’ll throw my name in the ring.”
“Kyle, come on in.” James Locke, the owner of the ranch, greeted me with a firm shake of the hand. Despite my best efforts to prepare myself for the interview, my eyes nervously swept the office. The only other occupant was James’s wife, Ophelia, who stood beside him and shook my hand, giving me a warm smile.
“Thank you for the opportunity.” James gestured for me to take a seat in one of the wooden chairs facing the desk. I followed him over to it but waited until Ophelia had taken her seat before sitting down. My mother would have flayed me alive if she ever caught me disrespecting a woman.
James dropped into the chair opposite me and smiled. “We are excited to meet you. You come highly recommended.”
It took significant effort not to narrow my eyes in suspicion. “Oh?” I replied calmly, hoping they would infer the request for more information from my tone. I couldn’t believe Stone would have broken his word, but…who else would he be referencing. Certainly not Maddie.
“I happened to run into your old employer at a convention last week,” James informed me. To my great relief. “He couldn’t sing your praises any higher without making you a saint,” he finished with a chuckle.
My smile grew, and I laughed as well. “Bill exaggerates. But he was the best teacher I could have asked for, and I was sorry to stop working with him. But I’ve always wanted to be a full-time, on-site vet, which meant I had to fly his coop someday.”
Ophelia laughed and winked at me. “I like you, Kyle.”
James narrowed his eyes and glared at her. When she noticed, she sighed and vacated her chair to walk over to him. He immediately circled her waist with his arm and tugged her into her lap. I wanted to smile because they reminded me so much of Stone and Helena.
Once he was satisfied, James turned his attention back to me. “My neighbor also mentioned that he wanted to hire you.” I almost rolled my eyes. Leave it to Stone to find a way around my gag order. James’s grin turned a little wicked. “I wouldn’t hire someone who wasn’t right for the job just to mess with Stone. But it’s a great perk.”
The vibrating of a phone drew James’s attention to the cell sitting in front of him on the desk. He frowned and looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to take this.” I waved it off and leaned back in my chair, lifting one booted foot to rest on the opposite knee.
He answered and listened for a moment, then asked, “What happened?”
After another minute, he sighed. “Tell my jackass brother-in-law to stop mourni
ng you and hire someone to be his fucking assistant manager,” he snapped, though he didn’t seem truly angry. “You have your own job to do. And tell him that if he doesn’t want to leave the ranch without a manager while he takes his wife to a doctor’s appointment, he should stop defiling my sister and knocking her up.”
Ophelia groaned and smacked James’s arm before snatching the phone away from him. “Good grief,” she muttered. “Sorry about that, Maddie. James is in a mood.” I went on alert and listened even harder when I realized to whom she was talking. “Do you want me to come and help?” Ophelia listened, then nodded. “I’ll be there in thirty.”
She hung up and stood, much to her husband’s irritation, which was clearly displayed on his face. She just shook her head and faced me. “I’m sorry, Kyle. I need to go. My sister-in-law’s husband has a delivery of horses to oversee at Red Hill Ranch. Garret apparently mixed up the date for an important doctor’s appointment, and nobody around here wants to be on Rose’s shit list when she’s pregnant. Our manager is filling in for him, so she won’t be able to make your interview. One of the fillies in labor is particularly wild, so I’m going to go help her out.”
I didn’t know the Lockes personally before this, but I was well aware of Ophelia’s past as an Olympic equestrian. She had a way with horses that made her an incredible asset to a ranch that trained horses, like Red Hill Ranch next door, as well as one that bred them, like Locke Creek. I nodded and stood to shake her hand again before she left.
“Not a fan of Garrison?” I asked with a slight lift at the corners of my mouth.
James grinned and shook his head. “Nah, Garrison’s been my best friend since we were kids. There’s no one I’d trust more for my sister. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about his constant proof that my sister isn’t celibate. I’m a big fan of denial, and that’s a difficult state of being when your sister is always pregnant.” James grimaced, but then he broke out into laughter, and I couldn’t help joining in.
When You Love a Rancher: Ranchers Only Series Page 2