“I loved your mother that quick. It happens.” He shrugged before draining his coffee and motioning to Jordan for a refill.
“No, you didn’t. You knew Mom in college.”
“I was a stupid asshole back then who didn’t notice anything, so all that time doesn’t count.” He nodded a thank you to Jordan when she filled his cup. “When I saw her ten years later, I couldn’t explain it either. It was like I was hit with something. I couldn’t stay away from her, even though it was wrong at the time. From that night on, I couldn’t remember what life was like before her. All I knew was that I couldn’t go back.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.” I dropped my head to the counter and groaned.
I heard his sad laugh next to me. “So, tell her.”
“I did. What else am I supposed to do?”
“I know!” Jordan interrupted as she served other customers at the bar. “My boyfriend sent me a playlist when we had a fight. It was so sweet; you should do that!” Jordan’s widened eyes danced.
“Like a mixtape?” Dad squinted at her.
“I don’t know what that is.” Her nose scrunched before she fluttered back to the dining area.
“That didn’t hurt at all.” I cracked up at Dad’s grimace. “But something like that isn’t a bad idea.”
I barked out a humorless laugh. “I already told her I loved her and that I wasn’t giving up and then got total silence. I can’t see how a song would make her believe it anymore than I could.”
“What if …” Jordan came back, bouncing up and down with her hands folded under her chin. “You had the songs delivered to her. Like on a jump drive. My boyfriend did it through an app, but that way would be so much sweeter.”
“And then what?” I frowned and crossed my arms. “I have it sent to her office?”
“Or delivered,” Dad said, tapping his fingers on the counter. “Bella works in the same area Caterina told us her office is in. And she feels pretty awful about mentioning Owen’s contribution to me. I’m sure she’d deliver it to her. I can give it to her tomorrow when they stop by. Abuse her guilt a little.” We shared a laugh before I nodded.
“Is Mom with you? I didn’t even ask when you got here, sorry.” I pushed off the stool, realizing I hadn’t done a walk through in a bit to see what was going on.
“No, I came alone. I needed to speak to you and couldn’t take it anymore, so I woke up and drove three hours, no big deal.” His lips twitched as he rose to stand. “Go do what you have to do. I can man your post until you’re done. Dominic!” He called out to where Dom was speaking to one of the busboys. “I’m filling in for Joey for a bit. What does he do?”
“A lot of whining.” Dominic chuckled as he came closer. “Usually, at this time of morning, he walks around, makes sure people are happy, I’m more grunt work.” Dominic slapped my arm before he ventured out to the patio.
“Thanks, Dad. And I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. All is good now.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“When I get back, maybe we can talk about those investments you were suggesting? I’m doing more in the off-season to keep the place alive, but a more reliable stream of income would be a big help.”
He nodded, all the tension between us now gone. I felt the relief from both of us in his easy smile. “Sure, we can do that.” He patted my cheek. “Go. Grand gestures take time and a little thought. I got this.”
“I’m sure you do.” I grinned and made my way back to my office. After digging through my desk drawer for the drive I hoped I had left, I settled into my desk chair and plugged it into my computer. This wouldn’t take long because I knew exactly what to upload and what I wanted to say.
I only prayed she was still willing to hear it.
40
Caterina
“I didn’t expect you here so late.” My mother regarded me with a furrowed brow after I unlocked her door and stepped inside the apartment I’d grown up in.
“I wasn’t doing anything at home, so I figured I’d come by.” And I couldn’t take being alone one more second.
Mom motioned to the kitchen table for me to sit. “I’ll heat up some macaroni. What’s wrong?”
I sank my teeth into my bottom lip and shrugged, not wanting to answer as my mother grabbed a wooden spoon and turned on the burner. Her apartment hadn’t changed much since I’d moved out. In fact, my room was more or less the same, just overloaded with storage. This apartment was the one constant in my life, and although I didn’t live here anymore, it was home.
“Joe can’t come to Ashley’s party, and we got into an argument, I guess.” I didn’t know what to call it. The more I reflected back on my last conversation with Joe, it seemed more like an adult tantrum on my part than an argument.
Mom didn’t reply or turn around. Like Joe, I was my parent’s twin. I had a few inches of height on my mother, but we shared the same big dark eyes and chestnut hair. I prided myself on being her mini-me as a little girl, always wanting to be just like her, and doing everything I could to make her happy, even when she wasn’t the most reasonable.
When I came home from Ocean Cove and confessed where I was after the girls came home, I braced myself for how my mother would react, but all I’d gotten was a nod. No “what was I thinking staying with a guy I hardly knew?” or alluding to what I was doing with him during those extra days. She only asked his name and what he did for a living. I was relieved if a bit unnerved.
“I guess we aren’t exactly on great terms.”
Mom set the bowl on the table. I picked off a rigatoni at the top with my fingers like I’d always done as a kid before anyone was looking. A big plate of my mother’s macaroni always soothed me, but when I swallowed, the ache in my stomach didn’t ease. My insides were too sad and raw to absorb any kind of comfort.
“What happened?” She handed me a plate and fork before digging a big spoon into the bowl.
“I told him maybe we should have left what we had at the beach.” I blew out a long breath before rising from my seat to get something to drink. “Maybe it’s for the best. This isn’t fair to either of us.” I reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, letting out a slow breath as I leaned against the sink.
“Really? You don’t look like you believe it’s for the best. Sit down, Cat.”
I came back to the table and plopped back into my seat.
“So, you panicked.” She crossed her arms and drew back in her chair. “Is that right?”
“You want me with Joe?” I coughed out a laugh. “You want me traveling back and forth all the time, three hours from home to see a man who can never move from where he is?”
“If that’s what makes you happy, yes. I wouldn’t be thrilled about you in the car all those hours alone all the time, but if that’s what you wanted.” She shook her head. “You worry me, Caterina.”
“I always worry you, Mom.” I pushed a couple of pieces back and forth on my plate, not wanting to meet my mother’s gaze.
“You make yourself so miserable, at such a young age. You’re supposed to be happy now. Maybe you should move to where Joe is.”
I dropped my fork along with my jaw. “You’re serious? You’re suggesting I quit a stable job I enjoy to move to a sleepy beach town for a man I’ve only known for three months?”
She leaned her elbows onto the table before lifting her gaze. “When you’re an old woman like me, I want you to look back at this time of your life and see good memories, not have it all be a blur of nothing because you ran away scared. When you came home and told me about Joe, it was the happiest I’d ever seen you. I never saw even a tiny bit of that when you were with Trent.”
I narrowed my eyes at my mother. “Who are you? Are you the same woman who told me the minute I turned sixteen that I needed a job that summer so I could see what the world was really like? Who was on me my entire senior year of high school to go to college in Manhattan so I could stay home because I was too young to be so far away from home
and family?” My other friends were my age and traveled all over the country for school, so that logic never made any sense even back then.
“That was me trying to keep you grounded, and, because I’m a selfish woman, keep you close. You were all I had.” She regarded me with a sad smile. “Still are. I’m probably to blame for how you are now.”
“And how is that?” I pursed my lips and tilted my head.
“Scared to take chances, even when it makes you miserable.”
“No, you’re not … well, maybe a little.” I laughed for the first time in days. Mom scowled but couldn’t help a tiny smile.
“What do I do now?” I whispered, more to myself than my mother.
“What do you want to do?”
My reply came quick without a second of thought.
“I want to be with Joe. By trying to put a stop to the constant disappointment, I ended up hurting the both of us. The distance is still not ideal, but I can’t not have him at all.”
“Then call him and tell him.”
Since he’d texted yesterday, I hadn’t heard another word from Joe. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d thrown his hands up and said enough. And I wouldn’t blame him at all if he did.
“Or you could sit here and play with your food like a sad little puppy. Choice is yours, cookie.”
41
Caterina
“Good morning. How are you today?” Emma peeked in my doorway.
I turned around with a shrug. “Fine,” I lied. Sleep eluded me, no matter what time I tried to close my eyes. I’d almost called Joe a dozen times, but I chickened out, too afraid of what he’d say. Mom was right. I was afraid to take chances. If he brushed me off, at least I’d know. This not knowing was killing me, but I couldn’t bring myself to find out.
“I have some news.” She stepped inside and leaned against the edge of my desk. “I fired Sharon today. She’s clearing out her office now.”
“Wow.” I first cringed over the extra work I’d have, but, in reality, I’d done her job and mine all these months. There wouldn’t be much of a difference as far as workload. Only now, the extra work I took on wouldn’t be optional.
“I didn’t realize how much you were pulling her weight. Let’s talk after lunch. I have a one o’clock meeting, so I’ll find you after. Sound good?”
I nodded, unsure of what this meeting meant, but glad Emma knew the truth. “Sure, we can talk then.”
“Great.” She pushed off my desk, her gaze still on mine. “The launch went off without a hitch with talk of even more work. And that’s, in large part, because of your efforts. You have a bright future here, and I’d like to talk about all that could entail.”
Going back to my computer screen, I tried my best to focus. What I missed the most was something to look forward to. The texting back and forth, some of it sweet, a lot of it dirty. The long phone calls that still always seemed too short. I’d complained about not having him the way I’d wanted, but not having him at all was a new and painful kind of torture.
I’d be thirty-four this November, and it felt as if I’d wasted most of those years. The only time I didn’t consider a waste were the weeks I’d spent in Ocean Cove. I even counted the time after. As I allowed myself to finally take in the letdown of it all, the loneliness hit me hard, now that I finally had a chance to let myself think about it.
“Cat,” Amy called, startling me out of my haze. “Someone’s here to see you. She’s waiting by reception. Are you okay? You seem a little wiped.”
“I’m good,” I lied as I followed Amy to the reception area. I found a tall, slim woman with long dark hair sitting on one of the leather chairs. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her.
When her dark eyes met mine, she rose from the seat and rushed over to me.
“Caterina? I’m so sorry to surprise you at work like this. I’m Bella. Joe’s sister.” She extended her hand with a sincere and easy smile.
“Oh, nice to meet you.” I took her hand and studied her gaze, trying to figure out why Joe’s sister would pay me a visit.
“I know you’re probably busy, but do you have time for a quick cup of coffee?”
If only I was busy, it would give me the distraction I needed from missing Joe so much I ached.
“I do. Is the Starbucks downstairs okay?”
Bella nodded and followed me to the elevator. We traveled down in a weird silence. From what Joe had told me about Bella, she looked every bit the financial executive in a black pencil skirt, sky-high heels, and button-down white blouse. Advertising and marketing was a casual industry unless we had a client meeting scheduled for the day. I felt like a college kid standing next to her in my dark jeans and sleeveless blouse. She had a strong resemblance to her mother, which was why I thought I recognized her.
She insisted on treating and led me to a table in the corner.
“I won’t take up too much of your time, I promise.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a flash drive and an envelope. “This is for you. From my brother.”
I eyed the tiny device after she slid it across the table.
“It’s probably the photos I asked him to get of the restaurant so we could figure out fall decorations. Not sure why he sent you all this way and didn’t email them to me, but thank you.” I stuffed it into my wallet, feeling the weight of her stare in a way that made me uncomfortable.
“My office is only around the corner; I didn’t have far to go.” She leaned closer and tilted her head. “Long distance is hard. Owen and I did it for years. My husband, Owen, he’s Joe’s idol, so I’m sure he mentioned him a time or two.” She chuckled and took her coffee cup in both hands. “It’s tough and frustrating. As much as I always loved him, sometimes, it was too much. Especially after long periods of time when we had no choice but to be apart.”
I nodded and took a sip of coffee. “It is. Your brother deserves better than a part-time girlfriend.”
“What do you deserve, Caterina?” She arched a brow.
After what I blurted out to Joe ruined everything, I was tempted to say not much.
“Let me tell you something about my baby brother. He has more passion and heart than anyone I’ve ever known. We all worried when he moved away to run his own restaurant, but we shouldn't have. He knows what he wants and is smart enough to know how to get it.” She leaned back in her chair and held my gaze. “But before he mentioned you, I’d only ever heard him so passionate about a goal—not another person. He loves you. It’s pretty obvious.”
I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat, too overwhelmed to reply.
“Judging by the way he sounded when he asked me for this favor, he’s as miserable as you look.” As much as it should’ve relieved me that Joe was as miserable as I was, I hated it.
“Have you … spoken to him recently?” I stammered.
“This week, when he asked me to deliver this to you. I won’t tell you what to do, but he wants you to look at whatever is on that drive. At least, give him that.” She patted my hand. “I better go. I have a meeting in a few. I’m glad I got to meet you.” I stood from my chair when she rose from her seat.
“You too. Thank you.”
After Bella left, I drained the last of my coffee and rushed back to my desk. I shut my door and plugged in the thumb drive, clicking the first folder open, I found a bunch of pictures of us Joe had taken with his phone.
My eyes clouded as I sorted through the images. Happiness radiated off both of us in each shot: one of us on the beach on my last day there, one of me sleeping with a sloppy “See? The entire bed!” in handwritten scrawl across the image. A sad laugh escaped my lips before I clicked open a folder with audio files.
The first song was “Summer Nights” from Grease. I laughed and paused it after recognizing the opening chords. When I played the next song, the air drained from my lungs once I realized it was the same one we danced to after dinner on my last night. The lyrics punched me in the gut in the very same way now as they
had then. The singer pleaded not to give up on him because he wasn’t giving up. That was exactly what I’d done after I’d promised Joe I wouldn’t.
I stopped the song and unplugged the drive before opening the small, plain white envelope.
We knew it would be hard, but it’s too good to give up.
So don’t. Love, Joe
I stared at the letter in my hand for a few minutes before popping off my chair and heading into my boss’s office. After days of moping and afraid to do something about it, once my decision was made, I couldn’t wait another minute. I’d already wasted enough time.
“Emma?” I knocked on her door. “If you’re free now, can we talk?”
She motioned to the chair in front of her. “Absolutely. My next meeting was just cancelled. Let’s talk about what we can offer you.”
“Before we do that, I’d like to ask about the new remote policy.”
42
Joe
“Busy is good, but it’s nice to be able to breathe just for a moment.” Dominic shut his eyes as he leaned against the wall, letting out an exaggerated breath.
“That it is. Now starts the creative part of the year,” I told Dom. Customers rolled in all summer with little effort on our part. In fact, according to the numbers I’d run last night, this was our best season on record. I’d answered a few emails this week about the Halloween scavenger hunt, and, before Caterina and I were … whatever we were now, she’d found similar opportunities for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She was brilliant and beautiful, and still not speaking to me.
Bella confirmed that she’d dropped off the drive and letter to Caterina yesterday and made sure to stress how sad she seemed. While I didn’t doubt she felt as terrible as I did, at least I’d done something about it. When she let herself go for a little while and gave into what we had without worrying about logistics or what would go wrong, she was perfect. We were perfect. If only she stopped being so damn stubborn. I loved her enough to wait and fight, but if she’d already given up, what was I really fighting for?
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