by Trina Lane
A searing hot pain invaded his body as the knife drove through his wool coat and sank deep into the tissues of his lower back. The removal of the implement was almost twice as excruciating since the attacker jerked it upward, cutting through more muscle and who knew what else.
Terror swamped Ethan’s consciousness, and pain previously unimaginable radiated through his body. He vaguely heard the attackers talking above him and thought one of them might have said ‘finish him’. He tried to get his brain to command his limbs to move. He didn’t want to die out here in this frozen hell, but between the cold and blood loss everything had become numb. He called up a vision of Ryan staring down at him with such love and joy in his eyes as they made love then welcomed the darkness that embraced him as something solid connected with the back of his skull.
* * * *
An annoying beep floated through Ethan’s consciousness. He tried to ignore it, but the sound kept repeating over and over. Its pulsating rhythm pounded in his head. He groaned and tried to turn away from the sound. He couldn’t seem to open his eyes. Whether it was because he didn’t have the strength or something was preventing him, he didn’t know.
Why did he feel so fuzzy? His head felt as if thick cotton filled the cavity instead of a brain; his throat was dry and achy. Maybe he had a cold or the flu? That would explain the sluggishness and sore throat but then—
What the hell is that beeping sound?
Something tightened on his hand, and he realised it was the only part of his body that was warm. It reminded him of Ryan. How his large body was always so inviting on top of him. The thick muscles generated heat as if a tiny furnace burned underneath his skin.
“Ry…”
“Oh thank God, E! Hold on, baby. I’m going to let the doctors know you’re awake.”
Doctors? Why are there doctors in my apartment?
“You’re going to be okay. I’m going to take care of you, and we’ll figure out who did this.”
Who did what? It’s just the flu. I’ll be fine in a couple of of days. Well, maybe a couple of weeks judging by how he felt right now.
Ryan was being overprotective. It was simultaneously an endearing and annoying trait.
“Alarm,” Ethan croaked out.
“What baby?” Ryan’s deep voice rumbled close to Ethan’s ear.
“Alarm…turn off. Wanna sleep.”
“Oh, okay, hold on.”
Ethan noticed Ryan’s heat moved away from his face then he heard—
“He wants to turn off the alarm. Is there some way to silence the beep?”
“Sure, it’s probably pounding in his head.”
A moment later the detested beep stopped and Ethan sighed in relief.
“Is that better E?”
Ethan attempted to nod his head, but excruciating pain made him wince. Instead he tightened his grip on Ryan’s hand. Why did his head hurt so badly? He’d never suffered from migraines? And who was Ryan talking to in the room?
In a blinding flash, it all came back to him. Texting Ryan that he was coming over, the snow, walking to the car, the first hit to the back of his head. He’d been bashed.
“Don’t try to move, hon. The doctors will be here in a few minutes, and then, we’ll get you some good stuff for the pain.”
A cold small hand landed on Ethan’s shoulder then he slid back under the darkness.
Ryan glanced up at the nurse who’d been taking care of Ethan on the day shift. “Thank you, Karen.” He placed a soft kiss on the corner of Ethan’s lips. “You hear that babe? A couple more minutes, and you’ll be floating. No more pain.”
It killed him seeing Ethan like this. For a week, he’d been sitting by Ethan’s side, waiting for his lover to wake up. The doctors had been puzzled why Ethan hadn’t gained consciousness yet. No swelling or bleeding had shown up on the scans as a result of the hits to his head. The anaesthesia from surgery had long worn off, but Ethan had continued to lay there. Still and unresponsive. His entire upper body was covered in bruises. The mottled skin was now a sickly green as they attempted to heal.
Rick and Conor had been there with Ryan hour after hour as they’d waited for news. Ethan had been immediately rushed into surgery after being found by the night guard for the building and hauled away to the hospital by EMTs. Ryan continually blessed the alert man who’d checked the parking lot after seeing a car fishtail past the entrance to the building at a high speed.
When Ryan had first seen Ethan immediately after surgery, his legs had nearly collapsed. The person in that bed wrapped in gauze from head to toe with tubes entering and exiting every part of his body couldn’t be his baby. As one day had passed into two and two into three, he started praying. Ryan had called Ethan’s parents, after getting the phone number from Ethan’s assistant, and had been shocked when they’d asked if it was absolutely necessary for them to fly all the way to Boston. At first, he’d thought it may have been a cost issue, so Ryan had offered to pay their way, but instead Mr. Harrison said it wasn’t a convenient time for them to leave since it was the weekend of a big boat show and their marina had a booth reserved. Ryan then called his mom and dad and they immediately came down for a couple of days to sit with Ethan. Last night, they’d finally convinced Ryan to go home and get some real sleep, shower and eat. He’d gotten back to the room a couple of hours ago, and the weak sound of Ethan’s voice calling to him was as beautiful as any opera.
He knew his parents were worried about both him and Ethan. They’d once again come through for their children by providing support in a time of need. He’d gone to get some more coffee yesterday and had come back to find his mom holding Ethan’s hand and talking to him. Ryan was sure he wasn’t supposed to overhear her words, but she’d been asking him to wake up because she was worried and wanted to see his pretty hazel eyes and hear him laugh like he had at Christmas again.
It had touched a part deep in Ryan’s heart to hear the care and concern in his mom’s voice for his lover. He knew then that his mom and dad really considered Ethan a part of their family.
His musings were interrupted when Dr. Waters came in. He’d been fantastic in keeping an eye on Ethan’s status. He was young, attractive and Ryan suspected gay. He was always outgoing and friendly, despite the long hours he must put in at the hospital.
“I hear someone decided to finally join the land of the living?”
“He woke up about ten minutes ago,” Ryan said.
“Has he said anything?”
“He said my name then asked that the heart monitor be turned off.” He looked down at Ethan’s once again sleeping form. “I think he thought it was his alarm clock because he said he wanted to go back to sleep.”
“Some confusion at first is normal. His body has been through a lot, and he does have a severe concussion. When he’s more alert, we’ll be able to test for any lasting damage.”
Ryan swallowed hard. “What kind of damage?”
Dr. Waters picked up Ethan’s chart and glanced at the latest notes from the nurses. “It’s hard to say with a head injury. He may have some difficulty with fine motor skills, short term memory, possibly even speech. We’ll just have to see. The fact that he was aware enough to ask for the alert to be shut off because it was bothering him is a good sign.” He squeezed Ryan’s shoulder in support. “His recovery is going to take a long time, but he will recover and that’s what matters.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He lifted Ethan’s hand, which he’d refused to relinquish and kissed it. “Don’t you worry, E. I’m not going anywhere.”
“What time is it?” Ethan croaked out.
Ryan laughed, and Dr. Waters looked at Ryan as if he’d finally snapped. “It’s time for me to say ‘I Love You’.”
Ethan’s lips stretched like he was trying to smile then went lax again. Ryan looked up at Dr. Waters. “He’s going to be fine.”
* * * *
Ethan gingerly sat on the side of the bed and waited for Ryan to arrive. After two weeks, he was
finally going home. He tried to straighten a little more and winced at the pull along his back. The superficial stitches had been removed a couple of days ago, but the internal damage done by the knife would take a lot longer to heal. The doctors had told him that the internal stitches used to close the tears in the muscle would remain for years and the scarring would be tender for months.
He’d lost his spleen and one kidney, but no other major organs had been damaged. The two broken ribs hurt like hell, and sometimes, he was still short of breath after the most basic of activities. He’d seen his face for the first time a few days ago on his first independent trip to the bathroom and been shocked at the rainbow of healing skin. He was now very sensitive to light, but the doctors said that would diminish gradually. In his goody bag, he had scripts for pain killers but vowed to take them only if absolutely necessary.
“Hey, babe! You ready to blow this pop stand?” Ryan called out, entering the room.
“Please.” Ethan held out a hand, asking for assistance off the bed. “It’ll be nice to go home. I have to call the office and ask them to bring over my work. I can’t afford to get behind any further. I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked me to step down off the case as it is.”
“Ethan, you’re recovering from a severe beating and major surgery. The office knows this, and they don’t expect you to be one hundred percent right away. Hell, even if they did take you off the case, it would probably be better for you.”
“No Ry, I need to work. I need something else to focus my energy on. I promise I won’t over do it, but I’ll go insane if all I do is sit there watching daytime TV and twiddling my thumbs.”
“Okay, but I’m limiting you to only two hours at a time. You will take breaks for naps and food and cuddle time.”
He smiled, so glad Ryan would be staying with him. They’d decided it would be best if Ethan did his convalescence at his loft, since it was a single floor layout.
“You know I had intended to ask you that night what you thought about us moving in together. This wasn’t quite what I had in mind…”
Ryan placed his hands on Ethan’s hips and kissed him on the nose. “It’s not an ideal situation, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing your face every morning when I wake up.”
“Take me home, Ry.” He placed his head on Ryan’s shoulder and let his love hold his weight for now.
He was so tired. Despite doing nothing but lying in bed for two weeks, it had been impossible to get any rest. At first, the nurses had constantly woken him to check on things or change his medication. Then the nightmares had started, and he’d been afraid to close his eyes for fear of reliving the attack. His eyes burned with the need for a good restful sleep, and he hoped, once he got home and could snuggle up next to Ryan, it would happen. Ryan would keep the nightmares away, and if he couldn’t, then at least, he would be there when Ethan woke up.
* * * *
Ryan opened the door to Ethan’s loft and guided him inside, his hand supporting Ethan’s back on the good side.
“All right, do you want sofa or bed?”
“Sofa. I’m tired of the bed, but maybe a couple of pillows behind me?”
“Sounds good. I’ll put in a movie.”
They shuffled into the living area. Ryan could tell the short trip from the hospital to the apartment and the walk down the hall had tired Ethan even though he was trying to hide it.
“What do you want? Comedy or action?”
“I think action, laughing too hard may hurt too much right now.”
“Then I think this situation calls for a Harry Potter marathon. I brought over my entire collection last night.”
“Oh, I like those. Good choice. Can we make some popcorn, too?”
“Absolutely! What’s a movie marathon without popcorn?”
He settled Ethan on the sofa and put enough pillows behind him that he looked like a pasha reclining in his kingdom. He set up the DVD player then joined Ethan at the sofa.
Ryan sat on the floor in front so they could touch and kiss at will. He craved Ethan’s touch even though he knew it would be some time before they could be intimate again. His love was alive, and there didn’t appear to be any permanent damage from the blows to his head. That’s all that mattered.
All his physical hurts would heal in time, but Ryan was worried about Ethan’s mental health. The nurses told him Ethan hadn’t been sleeping well and the dark circles under his eyes verified it. Ryan didn’t know if it was due to being in an unfamiliar environment or if his love was plagued by nightmares. The nurses had told him that they’d heard cries coming from his room on more than one occasion and beyond giving his statement to the police Ethan really hadn’t talked about the attack. Tonight, Ryan would try and get him to take a sleeping pill. That might help, and now, Ryan would be there if Ethan woke up.
After Ethan had woken up from the coma, Ryan hadn’t had a choice but to go back to work. Fortunately, today was Friday, and they had the next couple of days to get into a routine. By Monday, he was sure Ethan would be okay by himself. First thing, next week, he would go by Ethan’s office and pick up his files. He understood Ethan’s desire to keep his mind focused on the case, but he would make sure that Ethan followed the rules.
He wanted to check in with detective Phillips who’d been assigned to Ethan’s case, too, and see if they’d been able to identify Ethan’s attackers. Ethan had said they were Asian and had taunted him with homosexual slurs, but Ryan couldn’t help but suspect there was more to it than a simple hate crime. If there was such a thing.
Ethan fell asleep halfway through the first movie. Ryan continued to sit there and occasionally rub Ethan’s hand or stomach when he started to stir. It seemed to help Ethan relax, and the lines on his forehead eased.
When the movie was over, Ryan stood and went over to the kitchen. He would make a light supper tonight. Maybe some vegetable beef soup and half sandwich. Grilled cheese sounded good to him.
He was grilling their sandwiches when Ethan cried out. Ryan slid the pan to the opposite burner and ran over to check on him.
“E?”
He noticed Ethan was still asleep except it was anything but restful. His face was a study of pain, and his hands looked as if they were trying to fight off whatever assailant haunted his dream. Ryan had a pretty good idea of what the dream was about. He knelt beside the sofa and grasped a flailing hand. He put it on his cheek and leaned over to stop Ethan’s thrashing so it wouldn’t hurt his healing body.
“Wake up, E. It’s okay. I have you. You’re safe now. Open those beautiful hazel eyes for me.” He smoothed back the thick hair that had fallen across Ethan’s brow. “Come on, sweetheart, come back to me.” He saw Ethan’s eyes flutter. “That’s it. A little more.” When Ethan’s eyes opened all the way, Ryan smiled. “Hey, baby.”
A single tear tracked down his love’s cheek, breaking Ryan’s heart. He kissed the drop and sat back on his heels, still holding the cool hand. “Wanna talk about it?”
“No, but I probably should.”
Ethan attempted to push himself up, and Ryan grimaced as Ethan’s face contorted when a spasm of pain ripped through his still healing body. Adding comedy to tragedy, Ethan’s stomach growled loudly in the process.
“How about we get some dinner and a pain pill in you? Then, if you want, we can talk. I’ve got soup and grilled cheese all ready. You want to eat here or make your way over to the breakfast bar?”
“Thank you. I think I’ll stay here tonight, but don’t let me get lazy with all this pampering.” Ethan smiled.
Ryan plated their dinners and brought them over, using TV trays as tables. Ethan sat up completely and perched himself next to Ryan. They put in the second Harry Potter movie and enjoyed watching while they ate.
That Voldemort is one bad ass dude.
As the credits rolled, Ryan took their plates into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. Ethan rose from the couch slowly and went into the hallway bathr
oom. Ryan kept an eye on the closed door in case Ethan needed any help. When it opened a minute later, he let out an audible breath. Ryan knew he had to get a grip on the emotions rolling through him. The hospital wouldn’t have released Ethan if they didn’t think he was ready, but it was hard.
“You want anything before we tuck ourselves into bed?” he asked.
“I’m good. You don’t have to wait on me, Ry. I’m slow, but I’m functional.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. I…I need to…” His vision wavered and he felt a tear escape his control. “I wasn’t there, E. I wasn’t there when you needed me. Now…”
It took Ethan a minute, but he made his way over to the kitchen where Ryan stood, gripping the counter with white knuckles. He put his arms around Ryan and kissed the back of his neck. “You were there, Ry. I thought of you to escape the pain. I thought of your touch, your kiss, your warmth. All of that sheltered me. And now, you’re here. You held me in the hospital, you soothed me in my sleep, and when I wake up, I know you’ll be there to comfort me if the dreams take over.”
Ryan’s body shook as tears racked his body—the first he’d allowed since that nightmarish call two weeks ago. With the tears came guilt. He should be holding Ethan as he cried, not the other way around. But he couldn’t seem to stop. Ethan placed kisses on his neck and held him as tight as a weakened body could. Soft words of love and encouragement were crooned in Ryan’s ear until the waterworks ceased.
They made their way into the bedroom, shutting off the lights along the way. Ryan made sure the front door was locked then joined Ethan.
“I really would like to take a shower, Ry.” Ethan pushed at the soft sleep pants he wore. “Do you think you could help me?”
Despite the sincere request, Ryan saw a glimmer of devilishness in Ethan’s eyes.