The man moved his hand, pushing it through my chest which sent pain mingled with an iciness that felt as if I was being torn apart. He pulled it back and slowly got up, looking around before he moved to the next girl.
What the actual fuck! That shit had hurt like hell!
Wait, had he just…I felt angry tears burning my eyes as it dawned on me. I hadn’t been selected…I looked at my mother who stood with her mouth open; my grandmother had a frown on her face as she tried to puzzle out what had happened.
“What happened,” I whispered brokenly. “I…don’t understand.”
Tears dropped and I rubbed at them with the back of my hand. I didn’t understand it! I’d followed the laws, I’d been good! Why couldn’t they see me? I stood up, moving before anyone could stop me, and I pushed past the onlookers as the chanting began to break the curse for the selected postulants.
I barely held it together as I stopped at the antechamber to change back into my clothes and headed towards the library to wait.
A sob ripped from my lungs as I opened the heavy doors, moved inside, and fell to my knees with heavy sobs escaping me. It wasn’t my fault. I hadn’t asked to be raped, I’d followed the rules. I’d fought off the darkness; I’d turned down Lucian, and for what? They couldn’t even see me! It was like I didn’t even exist to them.
I heard the music begin for the Harvest celebration, so I pulled myself up from the floor and forced my feet to move to the giant horsehair sofa, where I curled into a ball. This wasn’t happening. I’d be the oldest un-Awakened witch in history. I didn’t have a choice in the matter anymore. There would be no harvest, no learning how and what to do to help the coven with Kendra, because she’d be sequestered in the abbey, and I wouldn’t be allowed to participate in their lessons.
It wasn’t fair, none of it. Cassidy had been chosen, for fuck’s sake, and I hadn’t missed Helen’s smug look as I’d pushed through the crowd to escape the looks of the people who slowly figured out I’d just been skipped for the Awakening and everything it entailed. I was fucked.
I wasn’t waiting until the next one, screw that. I didn’t need magic to help the coven. I had botany, which meant I had to get the store back because I had no backup plan for life. I could grow plants like nobody’s business, and I was damn good at creating tonics and other concoctions. Mom would help me, and I could live at the cottage. I could make money, enough to live off of. I closed my eyes, ignoring the chants and laughter that filtered up from the ceremonial rooms.
I was going to be fine. I would make it through this. Somehow, I had to.
I wasn’t a quitter.
Chapter Thirty-One
I numbly moved through the abbey without seeing or hearing as the events continued without me. I moved through the rooms, looking for signs of life. Apparently everyone but me was at the Harvest Ceremony.
The common room was empty when I entered it and grabbed my bag, not wanting to be anywhere close to here when the excited people returned—or Cassidy, with her sure to be smug face. I left the room, tossing my bag over my shoulder as the gut-wrenching emotions filtered through me. It was as if I was living a nightmare, and there was no waking up from it. I hadn’t seriously considered that I wouldn’t be selected to get my powers.
It sucked; I was the first one in the Fitzgerald line to be excluded on their first Awakening. Considering my age, I should have been a shoe-in! I groaned as chanting began from outside the abbey, my heart twisting as I felt the excitement from Kendra as they began the portion of the Harvest that would pair off couples. I swallowed the pain and stopped in the middle of the room, considering my options.
The weird burning and tingling I had felt earlier during the ceremony was back. Fuck, the spell for the Harvest was ramping up again and racing through my body, lighting up bits and pieces of me that had no business being lit up right now. It just wasn’t an option. I moved without knowing where I was going until I stood in the parking lot of the abbey, and realized I didn’t have my car here; Lucian had dropped me off. As if tonight didn’t suck enough already? I was about to go back inside when I spotted Kendra’s car, and laughed.
Maybe there was hope that the entire night wasn’t ruined. I opened the door and pulled down the visor as I shoved my bag into the passenger seat. The keys fell into my palm with a satisfying jingle. She was predictable. I plugged my phone into her cassette tape adapter, found Theory of a Deadman and hit play on Hate My Life, then pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.
I got home, and realized I’d already made up my mind without considering the consequences. I was going to Lucian’s club, and I was taking what I wanted, whether he agreed or not. He owed me that much after all of his dirty words and slow seduction.
I quickly showered and made sure to use the plumeria shampoo and body wash I’d made in Pacific City, and then stared at my reflection. My eyes were puffy from crying, and I looked worn out. I shook my head and moved into the room, opening the closet to find the little black dress I’d purchased three years ago, but never had the balls to wear.
It was sexy, short, and with a pair of thigh highs and heels, it would say exactly what I wanted and needed. It had a deep V-neck that exposed cleavage, and also made it impossible to wear a bra with the darn thing. I slipped on a pair of black heels that strapped at the ankle and gave me just enough height while allowing me to walk without breaking my neck in the process.
I applied a thin application of make-up and some cherry red lipstick to make my tired appearance look cheerful, and headed towards the door. I didn’t stop to think about it; thinking hurt right now, thinking was overrated.
I paused as I heard my phone go off, pulled it from the little clutch I held, and looked at Kendra’s name and picture as it flashed across the screen. My heart clenched, and while I was happy that she’d been chosen, I felt empty and cold at the knowledge that I hadn’t been. The elders had said it was a possibility that one of us would have more power, but this was stupid. The next Awakening wouldn’t be for five more years, which would make me the oldest witch to ever be selected, if I even was!
I set my phone on the coffee table, opened the front door, and locked it as I left and made my way to where I’d parked Joshua’s car. I slid into the driver’s seat and headed towards the club. My body was burning and buzzing, my mind on autopilot as I drove through town and made my way to the middle of nowhere, where his club waited for me, bright as a beacon in the darkness.
As I pulled in, I started to second-guess myself. If he wasn’t alone, what was my plan? He’d been there when I wasn’t selected, so was he waiting for me? Or had he already made plans with someone else? My eyes scanned the couples that were scattered between the cars in the parking lot and noted that Mister Man-bun wasn’t at his normal spot guarding the doors tonight.
I slipped from the car, ignoring the couples locked in compromising positions that didn’t seem to care about the public displays of heavy petting. I slipped behind a group of women who were all dressed up a little bit too fancy considering it was a sex club, but what the hell did I know? Maybe there was a dress code? I didn’t spot one posted when I worked here so I really hoped there wasn’t.
Once inside, they headed to the doors that led into the lower levels and I passed through a set of doors, which I knew from being here and cleaning the rooms below, led into the actual sex club. The women didn’t stop, even though I paused as I noted couples barely dressed, and some completely naked.
The next room was just plain fucking weird. Some men and a few women were walking around with their partners on leashes, and some had tails! Not real tails, but my mind wanted to know exactly how they stayed in place, until I figured it out. Then I wished I wasn’t so freakishly curious. As I passed a man, he held out his hand and showed me a leash. Oh hell no, I wasn’t an animal to be walked around…and oh my God, was she drinking from a dog
’s dish…Exit! Exit! Exit! I left the group, unwilling to see anymore.
The next room was actually labeled ‘Sir’s Playground’ and that piqued my curiosity. On stage was a woman, tied up and being whipped. I looked around at the people who watched her, and noted that many of them were fully clothed, while skimpily dressed waitresses took or delivered orders. It was as if it was a show for entertainment, which I guess was exactly what it was.
I couldn’t look away as the whip cracked loudly and the woman on stage begged for another. Was she fucking insane? I cringed as he gave her what she wanted. A few more lashes and he moved behind her, entering her quickly as the crowd applauded.
Okay, maybe I was the insane one because I didn’t understand why they’d applaud her counting or begging for more. I left the room with a rash of questions that I never planned to ask a living soul.
In the next room were a threesome and a couple of…five…somes? It was hard to tell in the dimly lit room, and while I did stop because my brain tried to figure it out, I remained in the shadows, hidden as I watched them. Okay, so this was kind of hot, in a kinky-how-the-hell-are-they-fitting-the-puzzle-pieces-together kind of way.
Someone touched my breast and I jumped, my eyes flying to the woman who smiled at me. She moved closer and I went flush against the wall.
“She’s beautiful, Kyle, and un-collared,” the woman purred as her hand continued to fondle my breast. I looked down, watching as she stroked me and then looked up at the couple. Kyle was tall, and built like a guy who forgot there was life outside the gym.
“Mmm, look at those lips, they beg to be filled,” he agreed.
I blinked. “I’m flattered, but I came here for one man and one man alone.”
“And who’s the lucky man?” the woman asked as she continued petting me, as if I was a strange cat she’d picked up.
“Lucian,” I said, and her hand dropped and they turned abruptly and left me standing there, alone. Weird.
This whole place was weird, but that reaction to his name? It must be what it’s like to be standing in a meth lab and announcing you’re D.E.A. I left the room, heading down the long hallway to the set of rooms that I’d cleaned, knowing that the one he’d brought me to climax in was his. There was only one boss in this place, and it was Lucian.
I rounded a corner and watched as a woman entered the room, leaving the door open just wide enough that I could see inside. I hesitated at the door, wondering what I would do if he rejected me tonight. I’d been through an emotional rollercoaster since getting home, but he’d been a constant distraction. Another rejection tonight wasn’t a possibility. He owed me a lesson, and I planned on having him teach it to me tonight.
Squaring my shoulders and pulling my courage around me, I pushed open the door, and walked in behind the woman who had just gone in.
“Get out,” I growled, looking her right in the eyes, my face hard and dead serious.
“Excuse me?” she asked, as I took in her topless outfit.
“I said get out; he’s mine tonight,” I repeated moving towards her, hoping to the Gods I looked threatening.
“Lena,” Lucian’s voice said my name with something cold in his tone.
“Don’t you fucking ‘Lena’ me,” I growled and leveled him with a threatening look. “You promised to teach me that sex wasn’t just fine, and it’s time to pay up.”
His eyes heated and his lips twitched. “Is that so?”
“It is, so she needs to get lost because I’m just not into sharing you tonight,” I replied.
“This is Leslie, a serving girl,” he said, and I narrowed my eyes.
“I bet she is, and just what exactly does she serve?” I retorted.
“I serve drinks, my lady,” she whispered meekly and I turned to look at her. Yep, she was holding a tray and I groaned. I guess the uniforms here could be skimpier than the one I had been given.
“Of course you do,” I grumbled. I seriously should have just stayed in a ball and cried myself to sleep on that sofa instead of coming here.
“Would you like a shot, or something?” she asked and the sound of Lucian’s laughter brought tears to my eyes.
“Can I have a do-over?” I asked, and she looked at me.
“Go, Leslie,” Lucian said as he held my gaze. “Lena,” he whispered as he stood, but I moved away from him.
“This was a stupid idea,” I whispered, and shook my head as he moved closer. “I should go.”
“You should stay,” he eyed me speculatively. “Not to poke at what is obviously a sensitive subject for you, however, I am curious. Did you find out why you weren’t selected?” I shook my head miserably.
“They don’t tell you why,” I replied as I wiped away the tears. “In the end it really doesn’t matter anyway. Once the Awakening has begun, the situation isn’t in our hands. It’s in the ancestors’.”
“And you came to me,” he replied as his eyes took in the short skirt and fuck-me heels, and heat filled them as they moved back up to mine. “I’m flattered.”
“Make me forget how miserable tonight has been,” I whispered as I moved closer to him, slowly reaching for his shirt as I tipped my head back to watch his face for direction as I began to unbutton it.
“If I do, there’s no changing what will happen,” he replied in a husky voice.
“What do you mean, what will happen?” I kissed his stomach as I found his flesh. I heard his sharp intake of breath as my tongue darted out to trace his well-defined abs.
“There would be no going back.” his words were measured, carefully. “You’d be mine,” he growled as he captured my hands and picked me up, forcing my legs to wrap around him. “No other man would touch you, ever. There would be no comparison to see if anyone can teach you more.”
“Fine,” I whispered as I kissed him hungrily.
Chapter Thirty-Two
He began to move us towards the door, and, guessing where he wanted to go, I began struggling to get loose and heard his laughter. He set me down, watching as I righted my dress and turned to look at him. I wasn’t going out there. I wanted him here, in the privacy of this room without anyone else. I’d had enough of prying eyes and judgmental looks to last a lifetime this past week. If I was going to do this with Lucian, I wanted him to be the only witness if I freaked out. He must have realized the train of my thoughts as his eyebrow quirked up and a slow smile spread across his features.
“Last chance, witch,” he said carefully. “The moment I close this door, there’s no changing your mind; you will be mine and mine alone.” His face turned hard, and something vulnerable filled his eyes before he could conceal it.
I moved to the door and briefly hesitated as I placed my hand on it. Not because I wanted to leave, but because I still had a bit of self-preservation, which was rearing its ugly head, warning me that I was playing with fire. His seductive gaze promised me that if I chose to stay, he’d alter my world and everything I thought I knew about it. He’d promised to teach me things that most would shrink away from, or at least sane people would. I knew he was kinky—for Christ’s sake he ran a fucking sex club, and he did it well. I’d tasted only a small sampling of his darker side and, instead of being scared, I was curiously drawn to it. I wanted him. I closed the door, sealing my fate willingly. Whatever drew us together was undeniable and I didn’t want to live without discovering the pleasure he could give me. I turned to look at him and found him watching me with a guarded look, as if he’d expected me to leave instead of staying with him.
“You should have listened to those who told you to stay away from me, little girl,” he whispered as he ran his hands through his hair and his eyes filled with desire, knowing he had me at his mercy.
“And why’s that?” I asked with a spark of sass in my tone that told him I wasn’t afraid of him or what wa
s sure to be a sexual awakening that I wasn’t going to forget.
“Because I’m going to turn you inside out. I’m going to do very bad things to you that will be imprinted on your psyche for the rest of your life,” he replied as he slowly moved to the chair, turning it towards the glass wall that I already knew was double-paneled glass. “Come here,” he ordered and I obeyed, moving slowly as I watched him take a seat in the chair. Once I was in front of him, he twirled his finger.
“What the hell does that mean?” I quipped, not understanding what his finger motion meant. I wasn’t playing dog games with him, if that was what it meant. Considering I’d witnessed a woman drinking out of a dog bowl earlier, anything was possible.
“Show me what belongs to me,” he replied, his eyes slowly moving over my outfit. I spun around quickly as relief washed through me and he smiled. “Slowly, Lena,” he amended in a thick voice.
I spun around slowly, making sure it was sexy and with enough swagger to entice him, and once I faced him again, the naked desire in his eyes was filled with enough heat to melt the glass behind us. I started to move towards him and he held up his hand with a wicked smile.
“Turn around and touch the window, sweet girl,” he said and my eyes grew large and round as a saucer. I looked from the window, to him, and then back at the window with unease. “I didn’t ask if you wanted to, I said do it,” his voice was soft, yet rang with authority.
I swallowed and looked at him again, finding his eyes hooded with desire as he watched me. Oh, hell. I knew what was going on in the other room, so it wasn’t as if the debauchery would be a surprise. I exhaled and did as he asked, watching as the room came into focus. The room was far more crowded than I expected, some of the guests were lost in ecstasy, while others turned as the window exposed us.
“Come to me,” he said, and as I moved close enough for him to grab, he did, turning me until I was facing the room. I watched the revelers curiously as they noted what the window revealed, and many more were turning to watch us. “See anyone you want to fuck?” he asked, and I shook my head.
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