The second I opened the door, I recognized him. I stood there staring at the bastard.
I heard Maddie behind me. “Andre? What are you…? How did you know I was here?”
Andre gazed between me and Maddie. “I have my ways.” He said, giving me a wink.
Fucker.
Maddie pushed past me, walked into his arms.
“I’ve missed you, Bella,” he said.
I rolled my eyes, turned and walked away as she told him how much she’d missed him, too. She wasn’t missing him two minutes ago when I had her against the wall.
“Actually, you told me you were staying here with Monica. I looked up Cale’s name, and when I stopped by your house and found it empty, I figured you were here.”
Maddie let out a nervous giggle. “Wow, you could be a detective.”
Andre laughed. “Well, now that I’m here, gather your things, Bella. Let’s go home.”
I sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV, waiting to hear her response.
“Um, Andre? We talked about this. I need another week to help get things settled.”
I glanced over at them. Andre was glaring. “Well, from the smell of alcohol on his breath, I’d say some things haven’t changed.”
I stood and began to approach him. “Listen here, you prick. You can’t just show up on my doorstep and—”
Maddie stepped in front of me. “Cale, please go sit down.”
I smiled at her. Her cheeks were still flushed. I lifted my fingers to my mouth and her eyes grew wide. I dropped my hand and walked back to the sofa.
“Andre, you can’t just show up and expect me to leave. I can’t to do that to Lily.”
He leaned in close and whispered to Maddie. “Is this for Lily, or for him?”
“I’m not even going to answer that. I’ve never pegged you as the jealous type, Andre. I asked you for one more week. After Saturday, you’ll have me all to yourself.”
My stomach turned—I felt sick.
“Bella, this is not your responsibility.”
I heard Maddie sigh as the front door opened. They stepped outside, the door closing behind them. I smiled.
If Maddie did what I was hoping she’d do, I’d have six more days with her. Six more days to show her how much we were meant to be together. Six more days to show her she didn’t have to be afraid of her feelings for me.
I SHUT THE door and turned to Andre. I glared at him. I was so pissed that I couldn’t think straight. I was almost madder at myself, for being pissed that Andre interrupted what was happening between Cale and me. In a moment of weakness I’d let my guard down. As much as I claimed I didn’t want to sleep with Cale, I was shaking mad that I’d lost my opportunity.
“How dare you! How dare you show up here and pull this stunt after I told you I needed more time? I’m so pissed off right now, Andre, I don’t even know what to do.”
Andre grabbed me and pulled me to him. He pressed his lips to mine. What once got me hot and bothered now seemed flat and boring. I attempted to show interest, moaning a little and tugging his hair. When he pulled his lips from mine he was panting. Clearly the kiss had affected him more than me.
I closed my eyes, feeling like a tramp. I’d been letting Cale kiss me and finger-fuck me while my boyfriend stood on the other side of the door.
“I’ve missed you, Bella,” Andre breathed. “I’ve missed you so much. Please forgive me. I do have a jealous streak, and I’m so very sorry.”
I smiled, placing my hand on his cheek. “You have to trust me.” Guilt swept over me as I made a silent vow to resist Cale as much as possible for the next week.
“I’m staying here until Saturday. Cale needs my help.”
Andre sighed and nodded. “Okay, Bella. I’ll leave you be. But, come Saturday, I’ll be waiting for you at your house. I’m going to take you to heaven and back. Multiple times.”
I smiled and nodded. “Deal. I’m sorry you flew all the way down here for nothing.”
He raised his eyebrows and my heart pounded. “We could go back to your house, Bella. A quick fuck from behind, like in Italy. You look like you could use one.”
I swallowed hard, trying to push my mixed feelings away. There was no way I was going back to my house to have sex with Andre after what had just happened between Cale and me.
I pouted and shook my head. “I can’t, Andre. I’m so sorry.”
A look of disappointment washed over his face, but he quickly smiled and pulled me closer. The feeling of his hard dick against my stomach excited me, but I was so confused. Was I turned on because of Cale or Andre?
“Something to think about during the next six days,” Andre said. He kissed me lightly and let me go as he walked away. I watched as he got into his car and drove off.
“Oh, Jesus. What is happening to me?”
I sat on the porch swing and tried to gather my thoughts. I’d never felt like I did when I was with Cale. It was so powerful and so strong—it scared me to death. Wanting and needing someone as much as I did Cale had me thinking back to our first night together.
I’d been so scared when it hit me, when I’d realized that I loved Cale. I’d only been with him for a few hours, but we talked like we’d known each other for years. The instant bond we’d shared scared the piss out of me. The easiest thing for me had been to run.
Like I’m doing now, I thought.
The door opened and I looked up at the only man I’d ever loved. I was beginning to think he’d ruined me for all other men. He looked into my eyes and smiled. “I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to keep my hands to myself.”
I sat there, stunned. I wanted to jump up and beg Cale to make love to me, but all these things were running through my head. I opened my mouth, but Cale started talking again.
“Good night, Maddie.”
He shut the door, leaving me alone on the porch. I leaned back against the swing and let the tears fall.
I WALKED INTO the kitchen and started the coffee maker with one hand as I held Lily in my other arm. I smiled as she looked up at me. “We got this, don’t we, baby girl?” She yawned and I laughed—my charm clearly wasn’t going to work on her. I took out a coffee cup and set it down as I retrieved one of her bottles and heated it on the bottle warmer. My baby girl waited patiently as I made my coffee and her breakfast.
“Daddy’s getting pretty good at this stuff, isn’t he sweetheart?” Lily made a bubble with her mouth and cooed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I took a sip of coffee and set it on the table, then tested her milk on my wrist. “You know it’s coming, don’t you?”
I put the nipple up to her mouth and waited for the normal pattern. The feel of it on her lips made her start kicking her feet until you placed it into her mouth. She did it every single time.
Her feet started moving as she opened her mouth and waited. “There’s my morning show! Enjoy, Lily Rose. Daddy made it just for you.” She closed her eyes as if she wasn’t the least bit interested in what I had to say right now.
“Hmm…my charming skills clearly need to be honed.”
“Do you make a habit of talking to yourself in the kitchen?”
I looked up to see Maddie leaning against the doorjamb, smiling. Her smiled faded as she raked her eyes over my body. I was only wearing a pair of linen pajama pants. No shirt. I liked holding Lily close to my chest in the mornings. It felt like we bonded more. I only did it when we were alone, though, since Maddie had made it very clear she was not interested in anything but friendship.
“Holy shit,” she whispered.
I tried not to pay attention to her as I reached for my coffee and skillfully took a sip while holding my daughter and balancing her bottle at the same time.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She walked slowly into the kitchen, she reached up to get a coffee cup. I’d purposely put them up higher, just so I could watch her reach with all her might. Usually it gave me a peak at her midriff.
I grabbed a cup
for her, making sure I kept my body away. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
“Um…what are your plans for today?” she asked.
My heart sunk as I thought about my to-do list. “I’m interviewing nannies today.”
She spun around and looked at me. “What?”
I checked out Maddie’s body. She was wearing a pencil skirt, a white blouse that was dangerously close to showing too much cleavage, and red pumps. She looked hot as hell. I wanted nothing more than to push up her skirt and take her right here in the kitchen.
“Maddie, I have no choice. You’re going back to your real life tomorrow, and I believe you said you were traveling to Seattle on Monday. I have a job that I have to take care of, too.”
“We can’t leave her alone with a stranger, Cale. That breaks my heart.”
Anger boiled in my veins. She enjoyed playing house with me, and had gotten damn good at it. I, on the other hand, was tired of it. Tired of hearing her every night on the phone with Andre, telling him she couldn’t wait to see him, to be in his arms. Though she hadn’t had any sexual encounters with him all week, which I thought was interesting.
“Well, I’m sorry that breaks your heart, Maddie. Tomorrow you’ll be done playing house and can move on with your life. I need to think about Lily’s future. And mine.”
She slammed the coffee cup down and jetted out her hip in that sexy ass way she does when she’s mad. “Playing house? Excuse me? I’ve worked my ass off this week helping you. We painted Lily’s nursery and decorated it together. We set up the toy room with all the toys and made sure everything in this whole damn house was baby-proofed. What about the shopping we did for her clothes? She’s the best-dressed baby on Beaver Lake! How dare you say I’ve been…”
She stopped talking and scrunched up her nose as she took a minute to think. She looked away and didn’t say a word.
To Lily I whispered, “I wish it didn’t have to end.”
Walking out of the kitchen, I heard Maddie whisper, “Me too.”
I ignored the tightening feeling in my heart. She wasn’t going to change her mind. She’d seemingly avoided feelings this week as we’d concentrated on all things Lily.
I burped Lily and rocked her to sleep. After placing her in her crib, I walked to my office and called my boss. I knew what I had to do.
After telling my boss I was resigning, something amazing happened. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. “I’ll be on the first flight Monday to Seattle,” I said. “I understand, and I’m sorry as well, Chuck. But this is something I have to do.”
I hung up and took a deep breath. Then I made my next phone call. “Yes, may I speak with Mr. Powers? Cale Blackwood calling.”
“Yes, of course. Mr. Powers has been expecting your call.”
I closed my eyes and got ready to do the one thing I knew was right for both Lily and me. It was time for me to make serious changes in my life.
I SAT DOWN at the meeting table in the hotel conference room. All I could think about was Lily. What was she doing? Was she eating well? Were they taking care of her? Did she miss me?
I pulled out my phone and sent my mother a text.
Me: How is Lily?
Mom: Why hello there, Cale. I’m doing well, thank you for asking.
Me: Sorry, mom. I just hate being away from her. She’s not even a month old, and I’ve left her.
Mom: For one day. Maria is amazing. Although, I’m having a hell of a time understanding her damn accent. You had to hire a nanny from Spain?
Me: She used to nanny for a damn prince, Mom. I figured she would work for my princess. She’s wonderful. Just tell her to talk slowly. You understand Spanish.
Mom: You can’t see me, but I’m giving you the finger.
I laughed as I put my phone back in my pocket. I couldn’t believe how having Lily had changed both my mother and me. We were closer than we’d ever been. Even her and Dad seemed to be getting along better. She no longer cared if her hair and nails were perfect. She cared about Lily. With all her heart. In a way, I think she looked at this as her second chance at doing it right.
Chuck walked in with another guy from HR. They reached out to shake my hand and each gave me their condolences. I thanked them and slid my letter of resignation across the table. Chuck’s face fell.
“Cale, you were moving up in the company. I can promote you so you’re at a desk all day. Shit, you can bring Lily with you to work.”
I smiled and shook my head. “I don’t want her living out of hotel after hotel, Chuck. I want her to have a stable home.”
He nodded. “I understand. Something about when they look into your eyes that first time—you’re done for. That’s the reason I took off for so many years.”
I stood and reached to shake their hands. “Thank you for taking a chance on me,” I said. “I really did love my job. I’ll miss it.”
Chuck got up and pulled me into a hug. “Good luck, son, in whatever you end up doing. You’re always welcome back here.”
I slapped his back, then headed out the door and to the airport. One day away from Lily was one day too many.
As I got in my rental car, a feeling came over me that I couldn’t really explain. I was starting a new life, and I wasn’t sure how it would go. The road was bumpy as hell but, as long as I had Lily, that was all that mattered. We’d eventually find our way home.
I WALKED INTO Starbucks and smiled the moment I saw Monica. It had been two weeks since I’d left Lily and Cale after helping them get settled. I walked right into her arms and hugged her. “God I’ve missed you!”
She laughed and said, “I’ve missed you, too. I can’t believe you were in Seattle for two whole weeks. What the hell?”
I rolled my eyes. “I know. It was like my boss was coming up with every excuse under the sun to keep me there. Then she wanted to send me to Milan. I told her I needed a couple of days to recuperate. Plus, I needed to see my Lily. I’ve tried calling Cale to talk to him, but he always just texts back and says they’re both fine. I know he’s upset with me.”
Monica made a funny face and took a sip of her coffee. “How’s Andre?”
I attempted to smile, even though she was clearly changing the subject. “He’s fantastic. He’s waiting for me at the house. Last I talked to him he was sitting outside, enjoying the weather.”
Monica smiled politely and took another sip of coffee. I knew Monica didn’t like Andre at all. It was time for me to change the subject again. “How was the trip to Texas? How are you and Jack?”
Her smile widened as she held out her hand. An oval-cut diamond sparkled on her ring finger.
“Oh my God!” I gasped, grabbing her hand. “Jack proposed?”
She nodded, excited like a kid on Christmas morning. “Yes! It was so romantic. He did it in front of his grandparents while we were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary at this nice restaurant. In his proposal, he said he wanted to wake up every morning and see my face, and that he wanted to sit in the same restaurant fifty years from now. I’m not gonna lie—I swooned. The little man-whore took my breath away!
I sat back in my chair as my best friend talked about her engagement and how happy she was. “I can’t believe you tamed Jack,” I said. “I can’t believe Jack tamed you. I thought you said you’d never get married because of your parents’ divorce.”
She looked directly into my eyes, serious now. “I guess I figured that I had to stop being so afraid and take a leap of faith. Sometimes, I think, we have to learn to let go of the control we think we need in order to find what fate has in store for us.”
I could feel myself starting to frown, but I kept it together. I could tell that Monica was no longer talking about herself—she was talking about me.
I was happy. I had a boyfriend who wasn’t expecting anything from me. I had good sex and a wonderful job. I was able to travel and see the world. I had exactly everything I wanted—or so I pretended.
I took a sip of coff
ee as I eyeballed Monica’s ring.
My heart began to hurt as I admitted to myself that I longed for something else. Something I’d been pushing away for so long.
I SAT IN my car and took a deep breath. I’d hadn’t seen Lily in almost a month. She was now two months old, and I was sure she wouldn’t know me anymore. After returning from Seattle, I’d found out that Cale had taken Lily to his grandfather’s place in Colorado. I was only home two days before I’d had to travel for almost another two more weeks to see clients in Milan. Now I was finally back home on Beaver Lake, and couldn’t wait to see her. Lily.
My hands were shaking. I couldn’t kid myself—I was dying to see Cale, too. My phone buzzed and I quickly pulled it out to see a text from Andre.
Andre: I’m pulling up to your house. Can’t wait to see you.
I sighed and hit Reply.
Me: I’m just pulling up to Cale’s. I wanted to see Lily.
Andre: Wait for me there, I’ll be right over.
Me: Okay.
I sat and waited. Andre wasn’t even supposed to be here for another two days. He’d flown to Milan and spent almost the entire trip with me. Which turned out to be okay, since I didn’t even need to be there. Why my boss sent me there was beyond me.
I smiled as I saw the driver pull up and let Andre out. I opened my car door, got out, and practically slammed it. Andre was starting to smother me.
He came up to me and kissed me on the mouth. “Ciao, Bella.”
“Ciao,” I whispered back.
I turned to make my way toward the door. My hands were still shaking, so I dug deep inside myself to find the strength I needed to get through this. I rang the doorbell.
“One minute!” A female’s voice rang out. An instant pang of jealousy raced through my blood before I realized the voice belonged to the nanny. Cale must have been out of town, working. My poor Lily, I thought. She must be heartbroken with both Cale and me leaving her.
The Journey Home Page 12