by Lacey Black
“And you’re not spending the night with Kale?” Laura asks, referring to Joy’s fiancé. They met about a year and a half ago while traveling for the same company. Kale is in new agent recruits and Joy’s in marketing for the same national insurance agency. They’re able to work from home and travel between the different corporate offices, occasionally also hitting the small agent offices too. When they met at a corporate conference in New York, they hit it off so well, he was moving to Gatlinburg a few months later. Now, they’re engaged to be married at the end of the year.
“I see him all the time,” she replies, waving her hand dismissively. “We’ve been able to keep a very similar travel schedule, so where he goes, I go. It’s been amazing.” Joy practically beams with delight and happiness, and I can’t help but grin back at her. It wasn’t that long ago she was single and frustrated with the dating scene. She had a few long-term boyfriends, a handful of mediocre dates, and a couple of one-night stands before she stumbled into Kale at the brunch buffet.
“I’m really happy for you, Joy,” I tell her honestly.
“Thanks. I’ve learned if you kiss enough frogs, you’ll eventually find a prince,” she says, starting to mix up the margaritas.
Sabrina opens the two pizza boxes on the counter and grabs plates and napkins. “I got you those nasty olives on half,” she tells me, picking one off and tossing it at me.
“Hey, now,” I holler, laughter bubbles up from my chest.
“At least you’re smiling. And showered. I’m glad. You smelled like the back end of a goat earlier,” my best friend points out with a grin.
“It wasn’t that bad,” I argue, reaching for a slice of pepperoni and olive pizza.
“I remember those days,” Laura says, taking the first margarita from Joy. “Actually, never mind. I still don’t get regular showers,” she adds with a chuckle.
“How are the kids and Rob?” I ask, taking a margarita.
“Good, good. Rob is in charge of Ag loans now, with his eye on taking over as president of the bank for his dad when he retires. JJ turns three next month, and Bennett is almost three months old already.” She practically beams with pride at the mention of her young children. It makes that part of me yearning for a family of my own rear its ugly head.
“Come on, let’s go to the living room,” Sabrina says, a plate of pizza in one hand and her margarita in the other.
We gather in my living room, Joy and Sabrina on the couch with Laura and me on the floor in front of the coffee table. “These margaritas are delicious,” I say, taking another healthy sip of my lime mixed drink.
“I made them extra strong to help Laura with conception when she gets home later,” Joy says, giggling. We all start to laugh, in fact.
God, this feels amazing to relax, drink, and hang out with my friends.
“I can’t believe we haven’t done this lately,” I confess, feeling guilty I’ve also let our friendship fall by the wayside.
“Don’t do that,” Laura chastises, her mouth full of pepperoni pizza.
“Do what?” I fret confusion.
“Don’t feel guilty. We’ve all been busy, Q. Our personal lives have pulled us in different directions, but I think that’s okay. I know if I needed one of you, you’d be there for me in a second. Like tonight. Sabrina called and we all came,” Laura says.
She’s right. As we grow older, our lives become busier and more complex. That doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore. Even if we don’t see each other regularly, or even talk more than the occasional text exchange, I know my friends would be there for me when I needed them.
“You’re right,” I state. “Just because we don’t see each other as much as we used to, doesn’t mean we’re not there for each other when we need to be. Life gets hectic, but I hope you all know I’m just a call away.” My eyes burn as I look at the three women I’ve been closest to since college.
“Likewise,” Joy agrees. “Now, tell us what brought us all together tonight.”
I sigh, realizing I’m going to have to tell them about Royce. Not that I mind, it’s just I know talking about him will remind me of how much of an idiot I was to ever think I could not let my heart get involved.
“I was seeing this guy, and it’s over. It wasn’t a big deal,” I say, casually, even though it feels anything but.
“No big deal, my ass. She’s in love with him,” Sabrina announces.
“I never told you that,” I grumble to my best friend.
“No, but I could tell. I’ve never seen her like this, guys. She was totally into him,” Sabrina tells the girls, who in turn, give me their full attention, desperate for more details. “Tell them how you met.”
I smile instantly, thinking back about that first text message. “I sent him a text, complaining about a dick pic I was shown on a date I had that night.”
Everyone bursts into fits of laughter. “Seriously?”
“That happened to you?”
I nod. “I had gotten my new cell phone earlier in the day, but I couldn’t transfer any of my contacts from my old device. I thought I remembered Rina’s number, but apparently, I was wrong.”
“So you complained about a dick pic?” Laura asks, her smile wide across her face.
“Yep, and he replied. Though, I thought it was Sabrina. We chatted, and it wasn’t until the next day I discovered it was a guy.”
“And they started dating,” Sabrina adds before chugging some of her margarita.
“Well, not quite like that, but you get the point. We met face-to-face without realizing it. He ran by my house, and we chatted, but we had no clue it was the person we’d been texting. And we hung out for a couple of weeks,” I add.
“And now you’re done,” Laura says, sadly.
I shrug. “It’s okay. Royce was totally honest from the beginning. We decided to have some fun until it didn’t work for either of us. I knew he wasn’t looking for anything long term, and he knew I was. We were destined to fail.”
Joy gives me a weird look. “Royce?”
“Royce Rigsby. He manages Elevate Zipline,” I confirm, and watch as her face goes pale.
“Does he go by Rigsby?” she whispers, something that looks like shock and dread crossing her features.
“Yeah, actually he does,” I reply tentatively, recalling our first conversation when he called himself Rigsby. “Do you know him?” I ask, a feeling of uneasiness starting to weigh heavily in my gut.
“Oh God!” she bellows, her delicate hands covering her mouth. “I know him.”
“Know him?” Laura asks.
“Like know him, know him?” Sabrina adds.
She covers her eyes. “Kind of. I met him before Kale, like two years ago. He was new in town, I think.”
“Umm, did you…” Sabrina starts, but can’t seem to finish her question.
“No!” she hollers, her wild eyes meeting mine. “I didn’t sleep with him. I mean, we almost did, but I ended up getting sick.” She averts her eyes. “We, uh, kissed a little, and maybe got a little handsy, but when we got back to his place, I ended up puking from all the alcohol I drank. He ended up taking me home after I sobered up.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I try not to picture one of my best friends with Royce. Unfortunately, all I can see now is him taking her home with the intent of sleeping with her. Worse, the only thing that stopped them was the fact she drank a little too much alcohol.
“Q, I’m so, so sorry.”
When I glance up, there are tears in Joy’s eyes. I can tell she feels a crazy amount of guilt for something that happened two years ago. Before I met him. The truth of the matter is it was before me, so how can I be mad at her?
I find myself standing up and going to her on the couch. Her wide eyes watch my every move, and she holds completely still as I pull her into a hug. It takes her a few seconds to realize I’m not going to hurt her or yell at her, and she returns it with a hard squeeze.
“It’s okay, Joy. I’m not mad. You d
idn’t know, and even if you did, you can’t change something that happened two years ago. The truth of the matter is you met him first. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for sleeping with a guy you almost slept with.”
She’s already shaking her head. “No, please don’t apologize.”
“I guess it makes it a little awkward, but we’ll both get over it, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to see him again anyway. He broke it off with me so he can keep living his bachelor lifestyle,” I tell her, lifting my shoulders in a shrug.
“I know, but still. I’m sorry I almost slept with the man you love.”
Tears fill my eyes and slowly fall down my cheeks. “And I’m sorry I fell in love with someone you almost slept with when you were drunk.”
This time it’s her pulling me into a hug. She holds me while I cry, while I mourn the loss of Royce. Not only him, but his friendship. I think that’s what I miss the most. Sure, we had crazy chemistry in bed, but it’s more than that. I miss his texts, the witty banter, and knowing he’s there, even when he’s not.
After I finish crying on my friend’s shoulder, we turn on Sixteen Candles and drink another pitcher of margaritas. By the time the movie credits roll, I’m completely stuffed from pizza and chips and dip, with a healthy tequila buzz, but feel so much better than I did before my friends arrived.
I pull out my cell phone and hand it over. “Since I lost all of my contacts, will you add yours back in?” I ask my friends. Both do it without being asked twice.
“Call us if you need us,” Laura says, giving me a hug before slipping out the door. Once she finished her margarita with dinner, she stopped drinking so she could drive home. Even though she’s not buzzed in the least, I’m confident there’ll be a little baby making later on when she gets home.
Joy’s next, and even though we’ve talked it out, there’s still apprehension in her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispers as she steps up beside me.
“Please, don’t. I’m not mad at you for something that happened before my time with him. If anything, it just proves the point he’s not interested in anything more than a little booty,” I state, the alcohol doing wonders for my loose tongue.
Joy giggles but shakes her head. “I know. But he did seem like a great guy, you know the few hours I hung out with him. When I got sick, he never tried anything and was very respectful when he took me home.”
I nod. “I’m sure he was. Too bad he’s a total commitment-phobe. He’d be the perfect guy for someone.”
Someone like me.
“His loss, though, because you’re amazing, Q. Your someone is out there. I promise he is. Don’t lose hope,” she whispers with one last hug before heading to her car.
“I’m out too, unless you want me to stay,” Sabrina says, coming to stand beside me on the porch.
“No, I’m good.” I turn and pull her into my arms. “Thank you for tonight. I didn’t realize how badly I needed this. You and them.”
“That’s what friends are for, Q. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to dream about Jake Ryan standing outside my bedroom window,” she replies with a wink. “I left you the leftover pizza in the fridge and the margarita mix and tequila on the counter.”
My heart skips a beat at the mention of the alcohol.
“Thanks, Rina. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She throws one last wave and climbs into her car. I stand on the porch and watch as she leaves, the silence suddenly surrounding me. It’s a gorgeous night, one I could probably enjoy on the front porch, but I don’t think I’m ready for that. Part of me still feels like Royce will come running down the street any minute, Jack on his leash and leading the way.
So, I head back inside and prepare for bed. It’s late and I’ve drank enough to ensure sleep will come a little easier tonight. At least, that’s my hope. After brushing my teeth and changing into pajamas, I slip into my bed, grateful for the cool, clean sheets. His scent is gone; it brings me both relief and sadness at the same time. I turn on my side, my back to the empty side of my bed, and sigh.
I think about Joy and Royce and how they almost slept together. I really am surprised I’m not more upset than I am. Sure, it might make it a little uncomfortable, but I refuse to let it. It’s not like they’re ever going to see each other in my presence, right?
He’s gone.
Now I’m able to go out and find Mr. Right.
Time to move on and forget all about Royce Rigsby.
If only I could get my heart on board.
Chapter Twenty-One
Royce
I push my way through the Friday night crowd at Dave’s Sports Bar, headed for the massive oak counter at the front of the room. I’m in desperate need of another drink, and maybe a little air from the girls’ weekend group in back.
When I arrived just a bit ago, I jumped right back into my usual routine. Grab a drink, scope out the crowd, and throw a few cocky grins at the ladies. It didn’t take long before the group of six was inviting me over to share a few drinks and laughs.
As I got to know them, I found it’s their first night in Gatlinburg on a two-night girls’ weekend getaway, and there are two singles in the group. A skinny brunette with long hair and bright green eyes, and a blonde with light blue-green eyes. She’s the one who gave me the fuck-me eyes the moment I joined their table, but everything about her is all wrong. Her blonde hair is a little too dark and her eyes more almond shaped. Why is that wrong?
Because I’m comparing her every feature to those of Quinn.
That realization had me ordering a round of shots for the table, on my tab, of course.
The blonde, whose name is April, kept reaching over and sliding her hand suggestively along my jean-clad thigh. Usually, I’d be all over that signal like white on rice, but tonight, as much as I try, I just can’t seem to appreciate what she’s offering. And frankly, the feel of her hand on my leg was enough to cause me to retreat to the bar.
I’m next in line for a drink when someone bumps into me from behind. When he doesn’t apologize, I turn around, only to find my brother standing there. I return my eyes forward and wait to catch Dave’s attention. I’m enough of a regular here that he knows my drink of choice and will bring it over without asking what I’ll have.
“What are you doing here? This isn’t your usual hangout,” I say, just loud enough for him to hear.
“No, but it is yours, so I took a chance,” Rueben replies, as the guy in front of me moves aside.
I nod to the bar owner, who glances at my brother. Rueben holds up two fingers, signaling he’ll have the same as me, and pulls out some cash. “Wow, you’re even buying? How’d I get so lucky?” I ask, as Dave sets two beers down on the counter and takes my brother’s money.
“Figured you could use a drinking buddy for a little bit. You got somewhere to sit?” he asks, glancing around at one of the busiest tourist hotspots in town.
“Back there,” I state, signaling toward the table of six.
Rueben tsks, disapprovingly, and heads off toward the quieter back corner. The blonde waves me over, but my feet move in the direction of my brother, not her. When I catch up with him, I’m surprised he found a small bistro table for two along the wall. “Nice find. I might have to take you out with me more often,” I reply, though usually I have no problem finding a table of ladies to join.
“So why are you here and not with Quinn tonight?” he asks between sips of his beer.
“Not pulling any punches, I see,” I say, drinking more than half my beer in one long pull.
“You wouldn’t with me, would you?”
“Fuck no.”
“So answer my question. Where’s Quinn?”
I shrug and glance over his shoulder, watching the growing crowd of people, but not really seeing them. “Probably at home? Not sure.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing, really. We decided it wasn’t working for us anymore,” I say casually, though it feels like a ja
ckhammer is pounding in my chest. I’ve had that same reaction for the last week since I walked away from her.
He arches an eyebrow and stares at me. “Not working for both of you, or just you?” he asks, no-so-delicately.
“Neither of us. We agreed to casual and that we’d move on once we had our fun. End of story, Rueb.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t buy that,” he says, leaning forward, positioning his elbows on the table. “I don’t buy the bullshit you’re trying to sell, and neither do you. I saw you last Friday night, Brother. I saw the fear in your eyes when I mentioned the word love. You got scared and broke it off with her.”
I open my mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. He just continues to watch me, his hard gaze staring straight into me, waiting me out. “Fine. I got scared. I was probably falling in love with her, and that’s not what we wanted. So, I ended it.”
“Not what either of you wanted, or not what you wanted?” he asks, practically the same question as before.
I sigh in frustration and glance away. “Listen, Rueb, she’s a great woman, and someday, she’s going to make someone a very lucky man,” I start, hating the taste of my own words. They’re bitter and sound hollow, even to my ears. Mostly because the thought of her with someone else, marrying some guy, makes me want to punch someone square in the face until my fist is raw and bleeding.
“Yeah, she is. Too bad it won’t be you,” he says. His words hit bull’s-eye too, square in my fucking heart.
“It can’t be me, Rueb,” I find myself whispering, leaning in and resting my own elbows on the table. I’m fucking exhausted from a week’s worth of lack of sleep and missing her like crazy.
“Why?” he asks, his question full of curiosity.
“Because I’ll fuck it up. I’m not the type of guy you bring home to Mama. I’m the kind you use to make your ex jealous.”
“That’s bullshit, Royce, and you know it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You think being in a relationship is easy?”