by R. D. Nixon
‘Good evening, sir. Are you a resident guest here in the hotel at the moment?’
‘Uh huh.’
‘I’m Constable McClure. I’d like to ask you a few questions if I may?’
‘Sure. Want to sit down?’
He led her over to a booth and spelled his surname for her, watching as she wrote carefully in her notebook; she was certainly stunning, cool as a peach, her red hair tied neatly back... Sarah had red hair too, though hers was paler, and the comparison gave him a sharp pang. How long before he could put this whole thing to bed, and he and Sarah could go back to being normal together? To being uncomplicated, loving partners, instead of him feeling like her lackey? Willing or not, it wasn’t a nice feeling.
Constable McClure was studying him curiously. ‘You’re American? Or Canadian perhaps?’
‘American. California actually.’ He studied her to see if she was impressed, but she gave no sign. Cool lady; they mostly started right in asking about beaches and movie stars at this point. Well, maybe cops didn’t.
‘Were you in the bar earlier this evening, sir?’
‘I was, for a while.’
‘Do you remember seeing that woman?’ She gestured to where the Boulton woman sat, staring at him with dislike.
He blinked slowly. ‘Yeah, she was in here. What’d she do, try to abscond without paying?’
McClure frowned, clearly not appreciating the joke. ‘Her son’s gone missing, presumed abducted.’
‘What?’ He looked suitably shocked, glancing around their plush environment in a convincing: from here? ‘Well, that’s terrible... Uh, there was no-one with her when I saw her.’
‘And what time did you see her?’
The questions went on. Stein answered them all, mindful not to mention Mackenzie; the last thing he needed was to wind Bradley up further, now that the boy was gone. When she’d finished, Constable McClure smiled, touched his arm and thanked him warmly for his help. ‘I hope we find this wee boy, Mr Stein; he’s asthmatic you see, and stress can do terrible things to someone with that condition.’
‘Yeah, I...uh, I hope you find him too. If I can help any more, I’ll do what I can.’ Stein was horrified at how close he had come to admitting he knew of the boy’s condition; it was that confidential smile, that touch. But McClure didn’t seem to have noticed anything amiss and thanked him again, returning to where Boulton sat. With one last glance at the police officer, Stein went upstairs to his room.
He found Mackenzie lying on the bed, and fought back a sharp comment. He was in charge, sure, but sometimes the big Scot looked at him in a way that actually frightened him – something in him fell short of the ‘gentle giant’ label, despite his quiet manner. So he kept quiet, and instead went to the en suite to rinse his face.
‘Just spoke to the police downstairs,’ he said. ‘Thought it was better than hiding away ’til they came looking.’ He towelled his face dry, and came out to face Mackenzie, who hadn’t moved.
‘What’d they say?’ Mackenzie asked the ceiling.
Stein found himself peering up there too, and lost his temper. ‘Never mind what they said. You find out where those damned figurines are, Mackenzie, or you’re fired, okay?’
‘That was the idea,’ Mackenzie said, and sat up. ‘Then you raised the game by taking it on yourself to kidnap a little boy. Well done, you.’
‘I didn’t take it on myself! I took advice.’
‘From your girlfriend? Nice girlfriend. Great mother instincts.’ That grit was back, and Stein tensed as he studied the man’s calm face; that stillness was evidently a thin covering over a deep, icy anger. Stein determined not to let him have the upper hand – he was still the boss here.
‘You have no idea about Sarah and me,’ he said coldly. ‘I’m trying to help her.’
‘You’re just following orders then. Like me.’
‘Listen, Mackenzie, this part of it has nothing to do with you. The kid’ll be safe enough.’
Mackenzie frowned. ‘He’s still a threat. To you and to Bradley. What if he escapes?’
‘Hardly likely, and if he does, where will he go? He won’t be able to see a hand in front of his face up there.’
‘Up where?’
‘And he’s asthmatic, so he won’t be up to a lot of running.’
‘Asthmatic?’
‘Yeah, I found out for myself, but the police just told me, too.’
‘Found out for yourself? You mean he had an attack?’ Mackenzie’s tone sharpened, but when Stein looked at him his expression hadn’t changed.
‘He’s got his meds; I saw him use them. The officer seemed worried about that, but I could hardly tell her I knew he was okay, could I?’
Mackenzie shrugged. ‘Fine. I can take the bike out, or up, or whatever, and make sure he’s not trying to get away.’
Stein recognised the not-too-subtle digging for information, but he wasn’t about to give away Sarah’s hiding place. ‘Not yet. Not until I check in with Sarah. Your job is to tail Bradley, and find out where those damned figurines are.’ He paused, then added softly, ‘I’m gonna do this for her, no matter what it takes.’
There was a long silence. So long he’d almost forgotten Mackenzie was in the room, until the Scot spoke again.
‘You’re really doing all this just for her?’
‘I’d do anything for her, anything at all.’
Mackenzie’s direct stare didn’t waver. ‘But you’re eyeing up the local talent.’
‘The police officer? Looking at her means nothing – I love Sarah.’
‘And she’s a good person?’
‘The best,’ Stein said quietly, and cleared his throat of the sudden lump. ‘She just wants what’s rightfully hers.’
‘Then good luck to you both.’ Mackenzie stood up and held out a hand. Stein took it, a little nervously, but the grip was cool and firm, and held no untoward hint of the strength he knew was behind it. This was not some subtle show of power, it was one man acknowledging, albeit reluctantly, the deeper feelings of another.
‘I’ll do what I can for you, Andy, and that’s the truth. I’ll call you, okay?’
Stein looked at him levelly and nodded. For the first time it felt as if Mackenzie really was on his side, and he had to admit it was a good feeling.
It seemed they’d waited hours, although it was barely ten minutes, and when the soft knock came both women moved fast. Charis got there first.
‘Who is it?’ she called, keeping her voice light. She could feel Maddy tensing beside her.
‘Mackenzie.’ At the sound of his voice Charis felt surprisingly safe. Comforted. She opened the door and he smiled briefly at Maddy, then turned back to her.
‘He won’t tell me where Jamie is, not yet, but I’m positive he’s going to be okay. Stein’s irritating as hell, but he’s no monster; he won’t have left him overnight without some comforts. We’ve sort of...reached an understanding. He knew about Jamie’s asthma too, but good job on getting it in anyway,’ he added to Maddy.
Charis’s heart skipped. ‘He knew? Did Jamie have an attack?’
‘I gather just a small one. But Stein saw him use his inhaler. I don’t believe he’d do anything to put your boy at risk.’
‘Thank God,’ Maddy said. ‘Right, I’m away home to see what state my dinner’s in. Gav will think I’ve left him.’
Mackenzie grinned. ‘You treat that car the way you normally do, and he’ll be wishing for it.’
She punched his arm. ‘It’s fine now! And it was only a wee scrape. Nothing wrong with my driving, pal.’
‘No, you’re fine right up until you let the handbrake off.’
‘I can drive a car better than you, biker-boy!’
But it was late, and Mackenzie caved in first. ‘You’re a star, Mads,’ he said, squeezing her shoulder.
‘Just bathe in my light, sonny – it’s all you can do.’
Charis saw that warmth again, in the smile that passed between them, and turned away
, an intruder in her own room. A movement caught her eye, and she looked back to see Maddy’s hand, held out to her.
‘Whatever I think about you, Charis, you’re going through hell, and I’m sorry I gave you a hard time. You did an amazing job downstairs, considering.’
‘Oh. Thanks.’ Charis shook the proffered hand. ‘And so did you, of course.’
‘How sweet,’ Mackenzie observed drily. ‘Looks like it’s a night for making friends.’
‘So you and Stein really don’t hate each other any more?’ Maddy asked.
‘Best buddies now, Christmas card list and all.’
Maddy pulled a face. ‘Somehow I doubt that, even of someone with your people skills.’
‘Aye, well maybe an exaggeration. Gobshite still kidnapped Jamie after all.’ Mackenzie shrugged. ‘But I’m starting to get a sense of what makes him tick. Or rather, who.’
‘Sarah Wallace? She must still have whatever it was that drove your poor brother to distraction.’ Maddy kissed his cheek. ‘I’ll see you both tomorrow. Try and sleep, okay?’
Charis retreated to her window seat while they exchanged a few murmured words, keeping in mind the good things Mackenzie had said about Stein, the positive things. Jamie would be all right.
When Maddy had gone she suddenly felt awkward again and stood up, unsure why except that sitting down seemed to put her at a disadvantage. Mackenzie’s past seemed to stand between them, a dark barrier that set him impossibly distant. Jamie’s disappearance had left her raw, ragged, and while she couldn’t know exactly what the Scot had gone through, she was starting to have some idea. She studied him closely as he congratulated her on keeping a cool head, but the words barely skimmed the surface of her hearing. It was the hollowness of his appearance that struck her now, the way his cheeks were pulled taut, and the lines carved deep into his forehead.
‘Does it still hurt just as badly?’ she said, unaware she was going to say it until the words were past her lips.
Mackenzie flinched. ‘She told you, then.’
‘Yes.’ She looked up and reached out to touch the tips of her fingers to the knotted leather around his neck.
His hand closed over hers and, shocked at the tightness of his grip, she tried to pull away, but he held her fast. ‘That’s my wife and child you’re touching,’ he said, his voice suddenly flat.
She spoke as gently as her racing heart allowed; his fierce grip was too reminiscent of another. ‘No, it isn’t. Let go of the guilt. It’ll kill you, and it’s not even yours.’
He seemed to be struggling for an answer, and then he released her hand. When she raised her eyes again, she saw a faint, wary smile on his face.
‘You’re a wee bit of a mystery, aren’t you, Charis-with-a-c-h?’
Disturbed by an unexpected intensity of feeling, she moved away. ‘No mystery here,’ she said, sitting back in the window seat. ‘What you see is what you get.’
Mackenzie’s smile faded slightly. ‘I can think of worse deals.’
Charis looked away, not sure how to respond. ‘How do you get through?’ she asked at length, needing to know – just in case, as unthinkable as that was.
‘One hour at a time. Sometimes it’s harder than others. Sometimes I go back to coping one minute at a time, like before. But it’s been thirteen years now, and there are days when I can go breakfast ’til bedtime without thinking about them. And that in itself makes me feel terrible, and the whole cycle starts over again.’ Mackenzie sat down on the bed, his hair sticking up where he’d run tired hands through it.
‘How about you?’ he continued. ‘How do you live with...with someone like your ex-husband, once you know what he’s really like?’
‘Are you saying I shouldn’t have put up with it?’ Charis’s defences prickled, but Mackenzie held up a hand.
‘No, I’m not saying that, not at all.’
Charis subsided. ‘He never hit me. Nor Jamie as far as I know, so a lot of people found it hard to understand.’ She closed her eyes to block out the way Mackenzie was staring intently at her. ‘But physical violence isn’t always the worst thing.’
‘No.’
‘The early days were normal,’ Charis said. ‘Fun, even. We were both pretty young, he was nice looking, and he fancied me. All my mates were dead jealous. We just sort of...fell into marriage, really. Then we talked about having children, and Daniel said he wanted a family. He chose the best moment to tell me he’d changed his mind though; I was seven months pregnant when he admitted he’d only said he wanted a kid because he knew I did. He thought we’d break up if he told me the truth. Bit late to back out, at that point.’ Charis gave a laugh that was as lacking in humour as the situation she’d found herself in.
‘Anyway, he started drinking, then the...the physical side of things went wrong. Bound to, I suppose – he was permanently hammered, I was permanently knackered, but I was managing. Let’s face it, I’ve been a single parent since the night Jamie was born.’
‘Coward,’ Mackenzie said, ‘to put you in that position and basically run away from the result.’
‘I wish he had run away. If only. He went the other way, and started...controlling me. It was like, if he couldn’t dominate me in the bedroom, he was going to make damned sure he dominated every other part of our life together. I couldn’t go out, not even on a lunch break with my work colleagues. He’d turn up at the office at random times, just to make sure I hadn’t taken a sneaky day off and not told him.’
‘Did you ever do that?’
‘Once.’ Charis started to shake. There were no tears yet, but this strange inability to control the shaking was worse. Staring at her hands in a kind of remote fascination, she went on, ‘I never did it again. He waited ’til I got home, then got me in the car and locked all the doors, and then he began to…to scream at me. The worst bit was that I could tell he wanted to hit me, but he wasn’t letting himself. That’s when I knew he had total control over himself, and he wasn’t just jealous because he loved me.’
‘Christ… I never thought of it that way.’
‘Yeah, well.’ Charis nodded, feeling the tears climbing up her throat despite her determination not to let them. ‘He said he’d never hit me. Ever. Because I’m a woman, and a real man doesn’t hit a woman, you know? But he said Jamie was going to grow up to be a man, and a man needs to learn how to take pain.’
She remembered holding the little boy tight, whenever he and his father were about to go out alone together, and in her mind the little chant, over and over, as she’d gently swayed him from side to side before letting him go: Please, love, just do as he tells you...
‘The bastard,’ Mackenzie murmured.
‘You’re not kidding. That was when I crossed the line.’
‘You crossed the line?’
‘Oh yeah.’ Charis looked at him through the curtain of tears that shimmered, her voice turning hard. ‘I hit him, you see. I gave him the ammunition he needed, by punching him in the head.’
Mackenzie blinked, and she couldn’t tell whether his expression was one of admiration or dismay. ‘What did he do?’ he asked quietly.
‘Nothing, at first. He just smiled and got out of the car. But pretty soon he began using Jamie against me like a weapon, and…I’m not one hundred per cent sure, but I’m fairly certain he did the same thing to Jamie, with me. In public he was kind, funny, the old Daniel, with tons of friends. And people I’ve known all my life were forever telling me how great he was, and every time, I wanted to believe them. Every time, I hoped it wasn’t an act any more, that he’d changed.’
‘People like that don’t. They just find new victims.’
Charis nodded slowly. ‘I know that now. Our lives weren’t our own. Every penny of the weekly shop had to be accounted for – even though I earn my own money – and every little luxury, or what he considered one, went in the bin. The waste… You’d never believe it. I’m pretty sure he’d have fished the best stuff out later, when he took it out to the wheelie bin
. Jamie couldn’t go to his mates’ birthdays, or school trips. He turned into a little shadow. A ghost…’
Her own words choked off as she realised what she was saying, but she felt Mackenzie’s hands rest gently on hers, and went on, ‘If I put a foot wrong, spent too long on the phone to Suze – that’s my sister – or even our mum, he’d think of some cruel way to punish Jamie.’ She shook her head. ‘I hated myself, Mackenzie. I was so weak, I couldn’t leave him. I was too scared of what he’d do. I had no control over my money, but what I did manage to save, from birthdays and stuff, he found. Spent the notes on a new jacket, and made me watch him feed the coins into the machines down the local pub, and buying drinks for our friends.’
Mackenzie gave a low whistle. ‘How about your family? Did they know about him?’
‘Mum did, she kept telling me to leave. But it wasn’t that easy; I had nowhere to go, and no more emergency money. Mum and Dad only had a one bedroom flat so we couldn’t go there. And we were never actually hurt, so it wouldn’t have been fair to take a refuge place from someone who really needed it. We just sort of…drifted through life, waiting for an opportunity that never came.’
‘What finally made you leave?’
‘I found out I was stronger than I’d realised.’ Charis brushed the persistent tears from her cheek as she recalled the day. ‘I got breast cancer.’ She felt Mackenzie’s fingers tighten. ‘I went through some proper nasty treatment, but I survived. It taught me a hell of a lot, including what a shocking waste of a precious life I was living. But now I knew I owed it to both myself and Jamie to change things.’
‘How did you manage it?’
‘Luckily for me, while I was messing up Daniel’s life, and cramping his style by puking and losing my hair, he’d got into some car-thieving circle. A violent one, as it turned out. When they were...caught, he was given eight years.’
‘Caught?’ He gave her a narrow-eyed look, evidently noticing the tiny pause, and she shrugged.