And with one final look at Grant, Britta turned around and slipped out of his grasp. She walked through the doors, taking deep breath after deep breath, as if she was trying not to hyperventilate. Leaving the gym, she realized that she didn’t feel any better by confessing her feelings to Grant. In fact, she felt much worse.
Chapter 12
Grant ran after Britta. It was the only thing he could think of doing. He wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her that he had those same feelings that she had, and he wanted to make her feel better.
Grant mentally cursed at himself for being so dumb and shallow. He couldn’t believe he’d let his jealousy and anger evolve and blind him like it did. Britta was right about that. And he wouldn’t blame her for running away and never looking back to where Grant stood, quietly waiting for her.
Well, he wouldn’t quietly wait for her. He would run after her and loudly demand that she listen to his own declaration of love. He just hoped that she would listen to him and accept him. He hoped that his craziness hadn’t ruined everything between him and Britta.
As he ran through the gym, quickly scanning the huge room to make sure that Britta wasn’t there before jogging outside, Grant remembered the little pain in his heart he had last night as he ran through the forest in his wolf form. Alone. He half expected Britta to show up, and then they’d accidentally run into each other and just make up. But when Grant realized that he had been running through the woods for two hours straight, waiting for her, he realized that she probably wasn’t going to show up. He wanted to go see her, but he knew that she would just be angry with him.
He didn’t know that she had, in fact, been getting drunk over him. And even though it was his fault and he was a dick, he realized that it felt nice to finally realize that Britta actually did feel something for him.
Grant finally made it outside the gym, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Britta turn the corner around the side of the gym to make it to the back. She must’ve just ran through the woods to get here. Grant jogged after her, calling her name to get her to stop. She wouldn’t, making Grant pick up his pace.
When he finally caught up with her, they were in front of the dense forest that was behind the gym. Britta didn’t stop walking, though, when she realized that Grant had, indeed, caught up with her. She kept on walking that brisk, no BS pace, making Grant walk with her. They entered the forest, and Grant had to pull her arms so that she quit walking and she faced him.
Grant looked into her eyes and realized that she had closed off all emotion from entering her face or her eyes. She was wearing a mask for him, and the pain in his chest was all too real. He hated that she now didn’t trust him enough to show him her true emotions.
“I’m sorry, Brit,” Grant confessed, sighing. His voice was small and not at all the confident tone he thought he would have when he finally told her how he truly felt about her. “I’m a dick. I know that. You know that. Hell, everyone knows that.”
“Was there a point in you chasing after me? Or are you just gonna stand here and mutter about how much of a dick you are?” Britta questioned him, crossing her arms around her chest so that he was no longer touching her.
“You were right earlier,” Grant told her, running a hand through his hair, uncertain. He couldn’t seem to be able to just confess his feelings for her. He could add coward to that list he was spewing about everything he was. “I was jealous and angry about so many things, and I took that out on you. Out of all the people in my life, you shouldn’t have been in that line of fire. I’m sorry. If I would’ve just chilled out, I would’ve seen that you weren’t doing anything with them. And you know what? Even if you were involved with them, that’s none of my business. But you know me, Brit. When I’m jealous, I’m jealous. And I tend to freak out over the smallest things.”
“Once again, the point of this conversation?”
“I . . . . When I wake up in the morning, I think of you. I can’t wait to see you. For the past few weeks, I’ve lived for our nightly runs because that meant I got to see you. I don’t know when things between us changed, but it did, and I’m happy that it did. Brit, I don’t know a happy life without you.”
Grant finally saw Britta’s mask seem to falter. Her tense body relaxed, and her eyes watered up slightly as she gazed at him. Grant didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until he felt his chest constrict when he finally let out the breath he was holding.
Before Britta could say or do anything else, Grant grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. His lips met hers, and it was like every dream that Grant had had suddenly became true. When Britta wrapped her arms around Grant’s neck to pull him slightly closer to her, Grant moved his arms to wrap around her lower back, pulling her as close to him as she could get.
Britta played with Grant’s hair as she kissed him, and the thought of anything else other than her was far from his mind.
But then, almost too soon, her lips were no longer touching his own. Grant opened his eyes to see Britta staring at his chest as she was still in his arms, unmoving.
“Britta?” Grant asked her, breaking her out of whatever daydream she was in for those few seconds. Grant could feel his heartbeat quicken its pace as he realized that maybe he had it all wrong. Maybe Britta actually didn’t feel what he felt for her. He knew that he couldn’t handle that embarrassment.
“Well, this was great,” Britta tentatively smiled at him before taking a step back and motioning towards deeper in the dense forest. “But I just realized that I have to meet with Kato and Hann for this thing, so I’ll call you, or something.”
And before Grant could say anything else or ask her to stay, Britta shifted into her wolf form and took off, never looking back at Grant.
Grant stood there in the little forest clearing where he and Britta kissed, wondering how so much had happened in just a few minutes. His heart was still beating, fast and intense, from the way he felt when their lips touched for the first time. He wished she was back with him. He wanted to kiss her again.
But the worry that she really didn’t feel anything for him crept into Grant’s mind, making him forget all about the kiss and the way he felt for her. As he stood in that little clearing in the dense forest, unmoving, all he could think about was whether or not Britta liked him like he loved her.
From the way she ran off immediately after kissing him, he felt like she didn’t. And that wasn’t the self-esteem boost he was looking for.
Chapter 13
“I kissed Grant, and now I’m freaking out,” Britta said immediately when Thea opened the door. Thea stood in the entry-way to her house, her pale-blonde hair a mess and all over the place, her blue eyes squinting in the sunlight. Britta had forgotten that Thea was hungover. Hell, Britta had forgotten that she was hungover, as she was too obsessed with thinking about everything that had just happened between her and Grant.
“You’re gonna have to come in and start from the very beginning,” Thea mumbled, turning around and walking back into her house, leaving the door open for Britta. Britta walked in, shut the door behind her, and walked over to where Thea was lying face down on the couch, her head in a pillow. “I know I look like I don’t care. I do, trust me, I do. This headache is just killing me.”
Britta sat down on one of the other couches in the living room, noticing that the windows that usually had their curtains open to let in the natural sunlight were now shut closed, making sure that no sunlight entered the living room. Britta found the whole thing quite nerve-wracking. The mansion, which used to be full of noise and light, now looked every bit as haunted and creepy as everyone, shifters and humans alike, said it was.
“Grant kissed me,” Britta started, shaking off the uneasy feeling of supernatural ghosts sitting beside her and listening to her ridiculous story. She could feel the uneasiness fading away to be replaced by utter embarrassment about everything that just happened. “And then I ran away because I didn’t know what to do.”
> Thea slowly sat up, opening her eyes up slightly so she could stare at Britta in disbelief. Or, at least Britta thought it was disbelief. Thea was so hungover that her emotions just looked like she was sick and wanted to sleep in all day.
“Let me get this straight,” Thea began, shaking her head slightly and then lifting up her hand slowly, so she could touch the pain that was beating its drum in her head. “You and Grant kissed, and then you ran off. You. The most badass person I know that looked Gabriel and death in the eye and taunted it. You ran off because you were scared and didn’t know what to do. You.”
Britta sighed and rolled her eyes. Thea had a point, but Britta couldn’t help it! Grant affected her more than anything, or anyone else in the world ever had. And that realization freaked her out more than anything else ever would.
“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do in a situation like this!” Britta exclaimed, then apologized after Thea winced and moaned, both hands going to her head in pain. “I don’t know if you understand. I actually like Grant. Like I like him. I’ve never felt like this before towards anyone, and I’m freaking out.”
“I have a question,” Thea paused, thinking. “How exactly did you leave? I mean, during your quick little make out sesh–how did you leave things with him?”
Thea sighed when Britta smiled tentatively at her.
“Please tell me you didn’t just run off,” Thea groaned, but Britta could see a slight smile forming at the corners of Thea’s mouth.
“What can I say?” Britta nervously, and embarrassingly, chuckled to her friend. “I don’t think I do well in relationship situations.”
“Obviously,” Thea droned. “Well, what are you gonna do?”
Britta stared at her, not quite understanding exactly what she was asking. Britta didn’t know what to do–that’s why she ran to Thea. Thea was supposed to help her. Thea was supposed to calm her down and tell her that everything was going to be okay.
“Can’t you tell me what I’m supposed to do?” Britta asked sweetly.
“You’re gonna have to figure this one out for yourself,” Thea laughed. “But, if you want a little advice? Go with your gut. With your heart. And if your heart is telling you that you need to run back into Grant’s strong arms, then I suggest you listen to that organ and tell your brain to shut up.”
“That’s easier said than done, though!” Britta groaned, grabbing a pillow and covering her face with it. She wished she could just go to Grant and act like everything was okay. She wished she could just open up to him. She wished a lot of things, but if she wanted to do that, she would’ve told him she liked him and was attracted to him a long time ago.
“Listen, before Kato and I got together, we denied our feelings and acted like nothing was different between us,” Thea told her. Britta straightened up and listened to her friend. “But that just made our friendship so awkward and horrible. We literally stopped talking to each other and hanging out because it was so awkward. Both of us were madly in love with each other, but we were using excuses on why we shouldn’t be together because we were scared. That’s no different than what you’re doing now. You’re scared.”
“I don’t want to be scared.”
“Then pick yourself up and go back to Grant and tell him everything you just told me. You’d be surprised at how being honest actually helps.”
Britta stared at her encouraging eyes, and before she knew it, she was on her way to Grant’s place.
Chapter 14
Grant was confused and hurt, and all he wanted to do was call Britta. He hated that she seemed to make him this way, and not for the first time, he began to wonder how deep his feelings for her ran. Was he attracted to her? Hands down. But did he love her?
Well, love was a strong word. But for some reason, the word didn’t scare him as much as it used to in the past. Which was why he was more than a little upset over how Britta left him after he confessed his feelings and desire for her.
His phone ringing jolted him out of the daydream state he seemed to be in since he got home from the gym. As he walked to where he threw his phone on the couch when he first got to his house, he answered it immediately when he saw it was Lukas.
“Hey, man, are you doing anything tonight?” Lukas asked after Grant picked up and they both exchanged their pleasant hellos.
“Nah, I don’t think so,” Grant told him as he settled onto the couch, rubbing his face with his hand in exhaustion as he realized that he and Britta wouldn’t be going for their nightly run together for the second time in a row. He hated that he missed her this much. He hated that he had grown to rely on her more than anyone else. What had happened to him? “Why, what’s up?”
“You should come on down and hang out with us all at the bar later,” Lukas said.
Grant was about to respond when he heard talking in the background. Grant could’ve sworn that he heard Kato in the background–which would mean that Britta completely lied when she bolted.
“Who’s all going? And is that Kato in the background?” Grant asked him, trying to stay calm though his heart was beating quicker and quicker with each word he said.
“Yeah, it’s me, and him, and a few others that are gonna meet up.”
“I thought that Kato had some meeting with Hann . . . . Is that later?” Grant winced when he heard how desperate he sounded. He really wanted the meeting to have ended earlier. Or maybe the meeting would start soon. He would take any option. He just wanted there to be something–otherwise Britta completely lied to him to get away from him. And he didn’t want to think that. He already knew that she freaked out, but lying just to get away from him?
That would mean she didn’t want to be with him at all. And he couldn’t think like that right now.
“Nah, he doesn’t have any meeting with Hann today,” Lukas finally replied after talking to Kato.
Grant sighed. Of course, there was no meeting. Britta didn’t like him, and she was making that loud and clear.
“Oh, I must’ve heard wrong,” Grant said, changing the subject immediately. A night out at the bar with the boys sounded exactly like what he needed today. “I’ll be there and meet with you guys later.”
They both hung up, leaving Grant alone with his thoughts of Britta and how she really didn’t like him. How fun.
He didn’t want to have to wait to go to the bar. He wanted to start drinking now, though one look in his kitchen revealed to him that he had no alcohol at all. He must’ve drank all of the whiskey bottles he normally had. He seemed to be drinking a lot, and for the last few weeks, he found himself having a drink almost every night. So much had happened in such a short time frame, and he knew that he had to get his drinking a bit more under control.
But this whole Britta thing didn’t help matters.
A knock at his door brought him out of his daydream funk and forced him to stand up and go see who was visiting. When he opened the door and saw Britta standing there, her blue eyes shining with emotion that Grant couldn’t quite decipher, Grant felt his breath catch. He didn’t know what she was doing at his place, and he couldn’t quite believe it, either.
For a split second, he imagined that Britta was there to confess that she actually did have feelings for him. That she actually wanted him as much as he wanted her. He made himself stop thinking that immediately. He didn’t want to deal with anymore disappointment. He didn’t think he could.
“What are you doing here?” Grant asked her. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he could say.
“Aren’t you gonna invite me in?” she asked him, giving him a tentative smile. Grant sighed, running his fingers through his hair, and stepped aside, giving her room to walk past him into his house.
Grant lived in between the shifter bar and the little town in Maine full of humans. He tended to split his time in both areas, as before he got the job as a regular bartender at the shifter bar, he was working as a chef at the only upscale restaurant in town. When his mother died, though, he
quit. He couldn’t bear to do much back then, and he was just now getting his feet back on the ground by working at the shifter bar.
He missed working in a kitchen, though. He wished he could go back and act like nothing had happened. But a lot had happened, which was why he was continuously at the gym, stretching and toning his muscles in each form. He wouldn’t be surprised next time someone tried to destroy his pack. No, he would be ready. And so would the rest of the Moonlight Pack.
Britta walked into his house quietly, and Grant wished he could read her emotions that covered her face. She wasn’t wearing the mask that she was earlier in the forest, and Grant was relieved. He hated that she felt, even for a second, that she had to hide herself from him. He never wanted her to feel like that again.
Grant closed the door behind them both, staying quiet as he walked her into the house more. They didn’t sit on either of the two huge couches that Grant had in his living room. Instead, they stood in the middle of the room and stared at everything but each other. Grant wanted to know what the hell she was doing here, and he also wanted to know why she completely lied to him earlier.
If she didn’t like him, why did she say the things that she said? And if she didn’t like him, why didn’t she just tell him so that he didn’t go and make a complete fool of himself?
“When you hear what I’m about to tell you, you’re gonna laugh,” Britta finally told him, that tentative smile still on her face. She shrugged, and Grant could see that she was struggling with the words to say. She looked like she was trying to open up and trust him, but she was having a hard time.
He could relate to that.
“Is this about earlier? In the forest?” he asked her, deciding to take a chance. Maybe he was just thinking of the worst possible outcomes. Maybe it really wasn’t going to be as bad as he thought.
Moonlight Wolves Box Set Page 30