“Why don’t you invite Angelina to dinner?”
“I wasn’t sure if you would want extra company considering the unusual circumstances.”
“Nonsense. As long as she isn’t a terrorist or member of a black ops assassination team, it should be fine.”
Letizia asked Angelina if she wanted to join us for dinner, and only after a lot of insisting did she finally take a seat beside me at the end of the table. I poured Angelina a glass of wine, then we all lifted our glasses for a quick clink before taking a sip. With the official christening of dinner complete, we proceeded to enjoy our meal, and I discovered that Letizia was either a really good cook or had spent a lifetime mastering this one dish. Sweet war of the waistband! I was already thinking about how much I would need to exercise to balance out all that I was going to eat and drink tonight.
Along with the great food came great conversation, and Angelina’s presence turned out to be the perfect catalyst for bringing about tales from the Babineux childhood. Angelina had met Babs and Letizia at the beach when they were around ten, and they ended up spending all their free time together whenever the family came to Sicily for summer vacations. Angelina also remembered young Babs’s various embarrassing and awkward stages of dress and style, so I, of course, had to ask if he wore Speedo’s and, not surprisingly, the answer was yes.
“Everyone in Europe wears a Speedo you jackass. Only you Americans wear those unsightly baggy board shorts,” he said.
“I’m sorry, there’s no dignity in a Speedo, my friend. At least, not outside of the world of professional swimming, and, as we’re on the subject of European men’s clothing habits, did you ever wear yellow pants?”
“Of course, every European man has at least one pair in his closet,” Angelina said.
“Thank you, Angelina,” I said, as I looked at Lux, who nodded and laughed.
Corn, looking confused, turned his gaze to Lux.
“What’s the deal with yellow pants?”
“Fucking Finn is obsessed with the idea that all European men wear yellow pants. He was going on and on about it back in Switzerland, and I’m sad to admit that he was just vindicated by Angelina.”
“European men really wear yellow pants?” Corn asked.
“Apparently,” Lux said.
“There’s nothing wrong with yellow pants,” Babineux said.
“Yeah, if you’re European,” I responded.
The evening continued in very much the same way with lots of talking, laughing, eating, and, of course, drinking. Around eleven, people started to retire to their rooms and, soon, the only people left were Angelina, Letizia, Babs, and me, and I got the distinct impression that Babs was waiting me out to make sure that I went to bed alone. If only the fucking hypocrite had been this overprotective of his shoulder-fired missiles, we wouldn’t even be in this predicament in the first place. I finally decided it was time to go to bed and said good night to Angelina, thanked Letizia for a fabulous dinner then, much to Babs’s relief, excused myself and headed to my room.
Downstairs, everything was mostly quiet except for murmurings from Lux and Corn’s room, where they were probably deep into talking about their marital woes. I went into my room, brushed and flossed my teeth, then sat on my bed. It had been a good night, and, once again, I felt more as though we were on a whirlwind vacation rather than a hostile ex-filtration. I guess it all came down to amenities. You could be humping all your gear down to a rubber dingy in the middle of the night, hoping to rendezvous with a waiting submarine—or, in our case, eating, drinking, and being merry before getting a good night’s sleep and taking an exotic Italian speedboat out to a waiting mega yacht. I’d done enough of the former and certainly enjoyed doing the latter a lot more.
I grabbed a glass off the tray on the vanity and poured in a splash of rum and decided to go outside and enjoy the view on my last night in Sicily. The temperature was a little chilly at fifty degrees Fahrenheit, but the clear, beautiful night was well worth it, and, with the upstairs lights now off, I could see a sky full of sparkling stars that stretched from one end of the horizon to the other. Still feeling a bit full from dinner, I decided it would be nice to get a little exercise, and, as I had yet to walk the entire length of the deck, I set off to do a little exploring. I headed left and saw Lux and Corn in their room, and, judging by the looks on their faces, was now sure that my earlier suspicions were correct, and they were indeed having that rather uncomfortable conversation about the state of their marriage. Babs and Bridgette’s room came next, and only Bridgette was visible as she lounged on the bed in a bathrobe. Just ahead of me, there was a raised seating area that made for a natural privacy barrier, which I took as a sign that I was approaching the master bedroom. As I reached the area, I heard voices and realized that Babs and his sister were out on the deck talking, or, more accurately, arguing. I, therefore, hung back out of view and decided to do a little impromptu detective work—or, in layman’s terms, eavesdropping.
“Adrien, I’m an adult. I can make my own bloody decisions about who I spend my time with.”
“Yeah, and look where it got you.”
“Fuck you. I made one mistake.”
“Yeah, and I’m trying to keep you from making another one.”
“I don’t need your help. I’m just having fun with Tag.”
“You don’t know him as well as I do, and I’m afraid you might get hurt.”
“That’s my decision to make.”
“I know, but there is a lot out in the world that you just don’t understand yet.”
“Oh, such as selling missiles to terrorists? I find it a little ironic that you’re trying to give me advice about the world when you ended up on the CIA’s most wanted list. Apparently, you don’t have the greatest judgment either.”
“There is a lot more to the story—that much I promise you.”
Interesting. Perhaps that French fucker was indeed holding back some information. I, therefore, decided it would be wise to keep listening.
“You know what, I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Letizia said, sounding frustrated.
“Fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I’m just trying to look out for your best interests.”
“I know you mean well, but, for better or worse, it’s time to stand back and let me live my life. Now, please, just leave me alone, Adrien.”
Babs left, and Letizia stayed at the railing, looking divine as she stared out over the dark waters of the Mediterranean.
“I hope I wasn’t the cause of that argument,” I said, as I stepped forward and into view.
Letizia was momentarily startled, but smiled and relaxed when she saw that it was me.
“Definitely not. I’m afraid that my brother was the cause of that argument, as he has a hard time accepting that I’m an adult.”
“Hello, you’re a professor of archeology at one of the premier universities in the world. It doesn’t get more adult than that.”
“I suppose, but I’m still just a little girl in his eyes.”
“Ahhh—family.”
She looked over at me, her full lips forming into a mischievous smile.
“Do you want to grab a bottle of your stolen rum and join me in the Jacuzzi?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think your brother would be all that happy.”
“That’s why I’m not inviting him.”
“Yeah, but…”
“It’s not a marriage proposal. It’s just a dip in a Jacuzzi.”
“In that case, I think you should know that I left out certain details in my recap of recent events—details of how I have been particularly promiscuous over the last couple weeks, and it seems to have almost always taken place in or around hot water.”
“Well then, as a scientist, I believe we should test your hypothesis.”
“OK, but I do feel kind of bad for violating Babs’s confidence.”
“Did you promise not to get into a Jacuzzi with me?”
�
��Technically, no.”
“Then there’s no problem. Now, go get the rum, and I’ll be waiting in the Jacuzzi, and just so you know, we Europeans don’t believe in wearing swimsuits on these occasions.”
Shit. I set my glass on the railing, left her, and all but sprinted back to my room, dodging deck furniture and jumping over a lounge chair that had almost tripped me up a mere two feet from my destination. I went through the French doors and walked straight to the case and was just grabbing a bottle when the door opened and there stood Babs, a dour expression on his face. Oh, for fuck’s sake.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Thunder of the Gods
I SUSPECTED THAT there was something about my personality that made people very comfortable in my personal space—so comfortable, in fact, that they felt no need to knock before entering my room. Babs was clearly one of those people, for he proceeded to step inside, close the door, and come over and sit on my bed.
“Hello, Babs.”
“Hello, Asshole, I came here to thank you for not getting involved with my sister. The last thing she needs right now is a fling.”
Or, so he thinks. I can’t believe the sneaky bastard came straight to me after leaving Letizia. He certainly was putting a lot of effort into keeping us apart, but I suppose everyone needed a hobby.
“Look, Babs, I know you want to protect your sister, but you have to face the fact that she’s an extremely intelligent and capable person who needs to forge her own path in life. Sure she made a mistake in her last relationship, but that’s something we all do—often more than once until we get it right.”
He stood there thinking about what I had said and shrugged.
“Perhaps you’re right, but it’s tough when it’s your little sister.”
We had a moment of quiet reflection, and he glanced down and noticed the bottle of rum in my hand.
“Were you about to have a drink?”
“Um—yeah—why? Did you want one?”
“Love one, but then, it is my rum.”
“Well, it was.”
“I grabbed two of the three remaining glasses off the vanity, filled them with two fingers of rum, then handed one to Babs.”
“Cheers. Here’s to family,” I said.
“Yes, and Letizia finding happiness.”
“Yeah, she definitely deserves a happy ending,” I added.
“A what?”
“A happy ending—to her story—I mean.”
“Ah—oui.”
We downed our drinks, then Babs stood up and headed for the door.
“Well, good night, Asshole. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Nighty night. Don’t let your toes fight.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing—it’s just an old expression my mom used to say.”
Babs left, looking confused as he mumbled something about toes and fighting. Free at last, I grabbed the bottle and headed for the French doors, and was almost there when I heard a knock. Goddammit. Who in the hell was it now? I said come in, and the door opened and there stood Lux and Corn.
“We need to talk,” Corn said.
“Now?”
“Yeah, it’s important.”
They walked in, took a seat on the bed, and Lux immediately noticed the bottle in my hand.
“What are you doing with the rum?”
“Nothing.”
“Good, then how about you pour us a drink?”
“OK, but you’ll have to share a glass, as there’s only one clean one left.”
I grabbed the remaining glass off the vanity and put a couple fingers of rum in it before handing it to Lux. She downed it in one gulp, and Corn gave her an annoyed look.
“He said share.”
“We’ll share the next one, I promise,” Lux responded.
I refilled the glass and handed it to Corn.
“So, what brings you two lovebirds here at this hour?”
“We wanted to give you an update. There is some crazy shit going on all across Europe and, apparently, you can’t walk ten feet without bumping into a fucking terrorist.”
“So, beards are all the rage in Europe at the moment?”
“Yep, and the bad guys officially know we’ve got Babineux, and they’ll do anything to make sure he doesn’t live to tell his tale. Sabotaging that missile deal pissed off a lot of bad people, and, now, the NSA is going bonkers intercepting all the resulting communications. It’s bedlam out there, and every intelligence service across Europe is mobilizing its people and grabbing terrorists like it’s an Easter egg hunt.”
“So, everything is peachy.”
“Kind of, but the sheer numbers mean it will take some time to round them all up, which means there are still plenty out there.”
“Wonderful, but couldn’t you have told me all this in the morning?”
“Yeah, but I thought you’d want to hear all of this sooner than later, and, as we’re on the subject, I figured you’d also want to know that I sent an Agency cleanup crew to both the ski chalet and lake house, and they didn’t find a trace of the other team you mentioned. No footprints, shell casings, or even a pubic hair. Assuming they were actually there, they are definitely professionals, though God only knows their interest in Babineux.”
“Any leads concerning the Fuchs Corporation?”
“Nothing useful.”
“So, John didn’t find out shit? It’s a little concerning when the vice president of the United States doesn’t even know shit about Fuchs. What the hell did you fuckers drag me into?”
“Don’t fret it. At least you’ll die rich.”
“Lovely, I’ll be the richest man in heaven.”
“What makes you think you’re going to heaven?” Lux asked.
“The fact that so many women have been inspired to scream out the words oh God in my presence.”
Corn laughed, but Lux didn’t find it funny and proceeded to throw a backhand to his ribs.
“Don’t encourage him, Corn! Anyway, on the bright side, the Sozo will be here tomorrow, and hopefully we can get the hell out of Europe.”
“Yeah, though I’m already starting to miss it.”
“Of course you are—man-whore.”
“Sleep tight,” Corn said, as he stood and headed for the door.
Lux followed him but paused and turned back to eye me suspiciously. I guess she was still wondering what I had been doing with the bottle of rum in my hand when they had first walked in. I smiled innocently and shrugged, but her expression remained unchanged.
“Good night, Finn,” she said.
“Nighty night, don’t let your toes fight.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, looking confused.
Interesting. That was the same response I had gotten from Babs.
“Nothing, it’s just an old saying.”
An old saying that, apparently, no one outside my family had ever heard. At last, I was alone, and I grabbed the bottle of rum and headed back out through the French doors. I was just crossing in front of Corn and Lux’s room when their lights turned on, and I realized that I was suddenly completely visible, and only had an instant to hide behind some large potted plant before Lux came to the window. I peered through an opening in the leaves and watched as she scanned the deck in each direction before giving up and closing the shades. It felt kind of silly to be sneaking around like a teenager, but I didn’t think Lux needed to know that I was about to go tubbing with Babs’s little sister. I continued on and arrived at the raised seating area and grabbed my glass off the railing before stepping down onto the master bedroom’s deck. I could now hear the distinctive sound of bubbling water growing louder until I reached the edge of the Jacuzzi. It was square, tiled, and about eight feet across, though its most unique feature was its occupant—the very beautiful Letizia, who was currently up to her long neck in the torrent of bubbling water.
“I wasn’t sure you were coming back.”
“I was definitely coming, but every fucking person in t
he house just decided to stop by my room.”
“Would that also include my brother?”
“Oh yeah. In fact, he was the first, and he came to thank me for staying away from you.”
She smiled as she climbed out and sat on the edge of the Jacuzzi, where I could see that she had kept her word and was completely naked—her beautiful body glistening in the soft ambient light of the partial moon.
“It’s too bad you have to let him down,” she said.
“Well, honestly, I do hate to violate his…”
“Can I speak frankly?”
“Of course.”
“What’s the longest you’ve gone without having sex?”
“If you’d asked me a week ago, I would have said two
months.”
“Was it hard?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’ve gone almost two years.”
“Sweet virgin of Sicily!”
“Exactly! So, how do you think I’m feeling right about now?”
“Unfulfilled?”
“That would be a drastic understatement, and so when a nice, handsome man ends up at my house, or more specifically in my Jacuzzi, there’s no way in hell I’m missing an opportunity to enjoy it to the fullest.”
“Point taken.”
I filled the glass with rum and handed it over.
“I hope you don’t mind sharing.”
“Not at all,” she said, as she took a sip.
I took off my shirt and pants and noticed Letizia smile as she watched my emergency pleasure device begin to inflate.
“Are you always this excited about taking a Jacuzzi?” she asked, gesturing at my rapidly growing manhood.
“No, it’s mostly the company, though if you read the instructions it specifies it will automatically inflate in the event of a water landing,” I said, as I stepped down, took a seat, and immersed myself in the hot water.
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