Twenty-Five
Logan
The first time I met Lena she left me breathless.
The circumstances in which we met weren’t the kind written in romance novels. They weren’t the stuff of fairy tales. In fact, our whole relationship and marriage has been surrounded by the complete opposite.
I had spent nearly two years working at Bar Americano, paying my way through community college. It wasn’t until I’d worked at Bar Americano that my love and appreciation for the culinary arts had manifested. My dreams were far off at that point, hoping one day I’d catch a break, find my new path to the career I’d wanted.
Instead of finding my career, I’d found Lena.
She was the woman who would come in every Friday night, dressed like she had walked off the set of a high society photo shoot. Her hair was perfectly waved, resting on her petite shoulders, the ends touching the top of her chest. Her dresses were always seamless, molding to her body like they had been tailored just for her.
After the first few times I’d seen her, I noticed she would always dine with the same man. He was the complete opposite of the man I was. Where he wore expensive suits, I wore black serving aprons. Where he had perfectly styled blond hair, mine was a deep shade of brown, my long unruly hair tied back.
The amount of money he had was evident in the way he walked. He’d tip his chin up as he entered the dining room like he knew he was better than anyone else at the restaurant.
Despite the hours I’d work and the number of tables I would serve, I’d spend my time staring at Lena. She never expressed the same interest the man had. He was always animated in his movements. Lena was always stiff and quiet. Her shoulders and back rigid. I’d watch as she would reluctantly lift her wine glass to her mouth, glancing around the dining room for a way out. Her eyes were sad, forever locked in a cage.
After some time, my examinations of Lena and Julian grew bolder. I’d find any reason to work closer to her table, offering to relieve the other servers so I could bring out their food, just to catch a snippet of their conversations. It didn’t take me long to learn they both studied art. Both went to Brown University, steps above the college I attended. She was out of my league and I knew it.
Julian never caught on to me studying him, but after the first few times, Lena had.
At first, she would watch me with her eyes, never turning her head in my direction. I could feel her eyes following me and burning into my back, reaching for an answer to why I was more present the more she came into the restaurant. She didn’t speak to me until one night when I was leaving work after the restaurant had closed.
I found her standing by the front door, leaning against the brick wall. I stopped, staring at Lena. She looked different than all the other times I had seen her. She was wearing high-waisted tight light washed jeans, hugging her curves. A small black tank top was tucked into her jeans, three buttons dipping between her breasts.
She pushed off the wall, walking toward me. She stopped two feet in front of me. “Why do you always watch me?”, she asked.
Her arms were crossed over her chest and her skin was glistening under the yellow lamp posted above the restaurant door.
I opened my mouth, stunned she was standing in front of me. Stunned she was asking me such a bold question. It was the first time I had heard her speak. Her voice sent a shockwave through me, jolting me.
I’d looked around, checking if she was with the same man I’d always seen her come into the restaurant with. She was alone.
My eyes found hers. “Because I see you.”
Her eyebrows pulled together, her mouth twisting in thought. She didn’t move, she didn’t answer me. I stepped closer, bringing the space between us down to one foot. She tipped her chin higher, refusing to break her stare.
“No, you don’t,” she said. “No one sees me.”
“I do. I see it in your eyes.”
“What do you see in my eyes?”
“I see that you’re living a life you don’t want. A life you don’t deserve.”
She stepped back, walking backward until her foot reached the curb. She stopped and unraveled her arms, her eyes softening. “You don’t know what I deserve and what I don’t.”
Then, she turned around and disappeared into the dark.
That night was the first night of many. Slowly, over time, she started showing up to the restaurant every night after closing. I could tell that for her, I was an escape. I was the only one she felt she could bear her soul to, without judgment.
I’m thinking back to the night Lena and I met as we sit out on the back patio, the warm sun bearing down on us. Lena’s eyes light up as she stares at her phone. It’s a similar light to the kind I had seen on her that night outside Bar Americano.
“Okay.” I sigh, pulling up the security app. The contractor who works for the security company just finished installing our cameras and I’m showing Lena how to operate the app.
“So, if you press this button, it’ll bring up the main camera located over our front door. See?” I hold her phone out to her, showing her how it’s recording in real time.
“How do you see the other cameras? How many did you say there were?” She pulls in her bottom lip, tucking it underneath her teeth.
“There are three outside and four inside. The outside ones are over the front and back doors and one is over the garage.”
“Okay.” I can feel Lena’s body relax. We’re sitting on our back patio. She’s sitting in my lap, her arm draped across my shoulders.
I show her the rest of the app and how to switch between cameras. I already felt more secure than I had ever felt inside our house. There was no way Julian could try to break in undetected.
Lena sets her phone down on her lap and rests her free hand on my cheek. The stubble lining my jaw grates against her soft skin. “Thank you for installing these,” she whispers. “I feel a lot safer.”
I stare into her eyes, getting lost in them. I think back to that night she surprised me outside Bar Americano. It was the first time I had heard her speak, her voice filtering over me like silk.
“I want you safe.”
“With you, I’ve always been safe.” She gives me a small smile.
I lift my hand and wrap it around the back of her head, pulling her down to me. She places her lips on mine, opening her mouth, allowing my tongue to caress hers.
She places her hand against my chest, gently pulling herself back.
“Why did you stop?” I ask her.
“Because you have to go to work.” She laughs.
“You’re right.” I groan, tilting my head back. The sun peeks through the wooden slats of our pergola. I squeeze my eyes shut, the rays warming my face.
I still had to talk to Natalie. It had been two days since I’d confronted her on the sidewalk outside the restaurant the other night. Her worried face has haunted me, telling me there was more going on with her than I knew.
Lena runs her fingers through my hair, gently pulling me back to face her.
“I have to leave for Abby’s office in a few anyway.”
“Are you still planning on asking her why she told Max she’s in a relationship?” Lena had told me about how she had run into Max at her office yesterday. Seeds of doubt took root in my brain. Whether it was Max or Abby, someone wasn’t telling the truth. My stomach was constantly upturned, nervous to find out the truth. I didn’t know whether Natalie held the answers, but I had to at least try.
“I think so.” Lena’s eyes pool with worry. Fear is embedded in them, darkening her pale brown eyes to a deep mahogany shade.
“It’ll all work out,” I reassure her. “We’ll get through this. Text me when you get there and tell Abby I said congratulations.”
“I will.”
Pulling her down to me, I kiss her once more before heading up to take a shower. I’m about to step out when I hear Lena’s voice coming from outside the shower door.
“Hey,” she says. “I’m heading
out now to go see Abby.”
Her silhouette is shaped behind the fogged glass door. The water still beats against my skin when I open the door.
She grins, her eyes scanning my body. She steps back, holding her finger out. “Oh no you don’t.” She laughs. “I can’t get in there with you.”
“I wasn’t going to pull you in here.”
“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t trust you.”
I pretend she’s wounded me. “That hurts, you know that?”
“Whatever.” She waves me off. “I just wanted to tell you I was leaving.”
“Come on, if you won’t join me, can you at least give me a goodbye kiss?”
“You’re the worst.” She smirks.
Water splashes off my back, drops spraying through the open door. The mat in front of the shower is damp with water.
Lena steps forward, leaning out to kiss me. I reach outside of the shower and grip the back of her head, pulling her toward me. She squeals before my mouth lands on hers.
My soaking wet fingers thread through her blonde hair. She laughs against my mouth. Her voice shudders against me, shooting through my body. My dick hardens, warmth growing beneath my waist. I fight the urge to pull Lena in to join me, knowing she needs to leave to meet Abby.
“Logan.” She laughs against my mouth.
I pull back but keep my hand around the back of her head, keeping her close. Water sprays against her face, tiny droplets dotted across her skin.
“Your voice is beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes. “Stop it. It is not.”
“It is.” I nod. “I knew I was in love with you the first time I heard it.”
Standing on her toes, she presses her lips to mine then pulls back. Her eyelashes are dotted with water, reflecting off her bright eyes. “I love you, Logan.” She taps my cheek, the corner of her mouth curling into a smirk. “Now finish your shower or you’ll be late for work.”
Twenty-Six
Lena
It’s an unusually warm fall day. Leaves are scattered across the sidewalk as I head toward Abby’s office, falling from the small trees lining the street. The clouds are thick and heavy in the sky, barely allowing the sun to peek through. One of my feet lands against a shadow on the concrete, another hits a small sliver of sun.
I still couldn’t shake the conversation Max and I had yesterday.
Abby and I’s relationship had gone from best friends to estranged then back to friends. I wish I could say we were the same as we were all those years ago. But deep in my soul, I knew we weren’t. Ever since her return, I’ve felt like we were on separate paths, never quite merging back together. I wanted to give credence to our new form of friendship, believing it was the way it used to be and if nothing else, we could build a new, better form of friendship. My soul, however, refused to believe time could simply be reversed. She felt like a stranger, a woman I no longer knew.
The truth of the matter was my life wasn’t the same and I was no longer the woman I used to be. I had left her back in Providence. I wanted that part of me to wither away, turning into evidence of a life I no longer wanted.
The street where Abby’s office is located is still as quiet and secluded as the other times I’ve been here. Nothing has changed. It’s eerily desolate, the sounds of the bay echoing off the tall building surrounding me. I breathe in, wrapping my arms around my body. The air smells like the sea, salted and refreshing. A promise of a thunderstorm lingers in the air, the clouds increasing by the second.
When I make it to the front of Abby’s office, I stand on the sidewalk and look up. There isn’t a sign above the door and the logo I’d designed for her isn’t anywhere to be seen. The windows are still covered in a film of dust, blocking the view to inside. Confused, I pull my phone out from my purse and text Abby. She said it was ready for opening. It doesn’t look like it to me.
Me: Hey, Abby. I just got to your office. I thought you said it was ready.
It only takes ten seconds before I get her response.
Abby: The contractors haven’t worked on the outside yet. Come on in, though. The door’s unlocked. I’m in the storage room organizing some boxes.
Before going in, I text Logan to let him know I made it to Abby’s office and I would let him know when I was done. I’m tempted to ask him if he’s had the chance to talk to Natalie yet, but when I look at the time, I realize he probably hasn’t gotten there yet. He left after me.
My nerves settle at the pit of my stomach, churning themselves into a heavy ball. I didn’t know what to make of Abby and I’s friendship or where we would go from here. No doubt me bringing up her lie about Max would trigger her. I pictured her yelling, accusing me of being a bad friend for taking Max’s account seriously. I left room for her to explain, hoping she wouldn’t bring up the possibility of being with Julian. Our relationship had spun into a web of secrets and lies. A life I no longer wanted to be a part of. I’d learned the first time around with the secrets I’d kept from Logan.
The metal handle to the front door is cold on the damp skin of my palm. I wrap my fingers around it and pull it open. My stomach is still flipped upside down. For some reason, this whole situation feels off. I poke my head through and tentatively step inside.
“Abby?” I call out. I don’t see her. The space is completely dark. The coming thunderstorm has prevented any sunlight from being able to pour in. Even on a sunny day, you could hardly see through the thick dust covering the front windows.
I step farther into the darkness. The floor is no longer covered in old travel brochures, but two desks remain. The wooden chair Abby had sat in the first time she brought me here, is still sitting behind one of the desks.
I cover my nose with one finger, the smell of spoiled milk floating in the air. “Abby?” I call out for her again. I step closer to the desk, following the smell. My eyes finally adjust to the darkness. Lines and shapes are becoming more defined. On top of the desk is a flattened brown paper bag, a moldy donut resting on top.
Several flies are on top of the donut and when I wave my hand to move them out of the way, I jump backward, a sharp noise climbing out of my throat. The donut is covered in cookie crumbs, a circle of bare frosting along the edge. It’s the same donut Abby had gotten me the second time I’d come to visit her here.
I cover my mouth, my hot breaths blowing against my skin. I’m slowly walking backward, unable to take my eyes off the moldy donut.
I need to get out of here. Something isn’t right. Chills creep along my spine. It feels as if someone has dropped a piece of ice down my back. I turn around, ready to run out the door when I see Abby standing behind me.
I stare at her with widened eyes and breathe in a sharp breath. “Abby.”
Her violet eyes transform to a deep shade of black. She grins, her purple lips thinning. “Hey, Lena. Sorry I’m late.”
I open my mouth to speak but stop when her hand reaches up. Abby’s face is the last thing I see before I feel a sharp, jolting pain hit the side of my head and then everything fades to black.
Twenty-Seven
Logan
Once I get to the restaurant, I head straight for the kitchen. I knew Max had scheduled all of us together for the lunch rush. Our reservations were completely booked and one of our chefs was out with a cold.
I scan the kitchen for Natalie but don’t find her. When I try my office, I find Max sitting at his desk.
He spins around when he hears me enter the office.
“Hey, Logan.”
“Hey.” I breathe out. “Have you seen Natalie? I thought she was working the lunch rush with me.”
“Oh, shit.” He sighs, picking up his phone. “I forgot to tell you.”
“What is it?” I walk farther into the office and lean against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest.
“ She didn’t show up for her shift yesterday then I got this email today. It’s her resignation.”
“What?” I push off the wall and u
nravel my arms. My chest hollows. Natalie would never suddenly quit her job at Bistro. If she did, there had to be good reason for doing so. Over the past few months, Natalie has shared her story with me. If she had truly quit, she would have come to me or Max first. I point to Max’s phone. “Do you mind if I see the email?”
“Sure.” He shrugs, handing it to me.
A weight falls on my shoulders, draping over me.
Max,
I regret to inform you that I am submitting my resignation from Bistro 59. It has been a pleasure working for you. I have decided to pursue another career path and return home to California.
Thank you for everything you have taught me and for giving me this opportunity.
Sincerely,
Natalie
My throat constricts when my eyes scan the email before landing on the email address. It’s from the same address that was emailing Lena. How was that possible? Was Natalie the person sending Lena those emails, and not Julian? But how did Natalie know all those pieces of Lena’s story?
Panicked, I look up at Max. His eyebrows are dipped in concern. He can clearly see something isn’t sitting well with me. The blood drains from my face. “When did she send this to you?”
“This morning.. Why?”
“Is this the email address you have on file for Natalie?”
“Hang on.” Max spins in his chair, turning to his computer. Pulling up her employee file, he scans it for her address.
“Huh,” he says. “That’s not the same email I have on file.” He spins back around, his eyebrows dipped in confusion.
I hand him back his phone, my hand shaking. “I don’t think Natalie wrote that email, Max. The day you told Natalie to meet me at the market, she told me there was nothing for her back in California. She doesn’t have any family there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Also, it’s a long story but Lena’s been getting emails from the same address.”
Mine: A Romantic Suspense Thriller (A Back to Me Series Book 2) Page 22