by J. O Mantel
With an acknowledging smile, Hunter brushed away his concerns and stopped being the overprotective father he was. As Andy walked toward Lili’s room, Hunter went into the kitchen and stared out the window. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head, which was full of thoughts.
“Babe, you have nothing to worry about. You need to let go and stop being so overprotective of our daughter. She loves Andy and you know how much Andy loves her. I’m up here watching over both of you.”
“I’ve got about a million things I want to say to you right now,” Hunter said.
“I know. Hunter, I know that you’re still holding on to me and everything we had, but what you don’t understand is, our love was so great and powerful. Everything that the three of us shared, together, as a family, was wonderful. It’s because of that love that I have no unfinished business, and I don’t want to be yours.”
Hunter squinted his eyes shut tighter, he clenched his fists and tried desperately to hold back the urge to cry.
“Bree, I can’t … I don’t know if I’m doing this whole parenting thing right on my own. I just need you here to tell me I’m doing it right. What am I supposed to do?” he whispered.
“You’re doing what any parent does, Hunter. Our daughter is growing up beautifully and it’s because of you.”
“I just miss you so much, Bree.”
“I know. And I miss you both, too, very much. But since we’re on the whole parenting thing, just a couple of things… No chocolate before bed, you know she can’t sleep when she has that much sugar in her. A strawberry milkshake with almond milk is not breakfast food. And don’t be so paranoid about sleepovers,” they said in unison, Hunter remembering the conversation they had when he’d last seen her.
“Where … where are you? Where do you hang out?” Hunter asked.
“In a place where I can watch over the three of you.”
“The three of us?” Hunter asked, confused.
“Goodbye, Hunter,” Bree smiled before she simply… disappeared.
“The three of us?” Hunter whispered to himself as he made his way back into the living room. As he sat back down on the couch, Andy walked through the door and sat beside him.
“Is she okay?” Hunter asked.
“She’s sleeping now. All she needed was one of her favorite bedtime lullabies from her favorite person in the world.”
Hunter rolled his eyes and stared at Andy. “Please tell me you didn’t bore her with your wonderful rendition of ‘My Favorite Things’? That song even puts me to sleep.”
“I rest my case,” Andy smiled.
Andy looked at the clock on the wall, then turned to look back at Hunter. “Why don’t I order some take-out?” Andy said.
“Sure, what do you feel like?” Hunter asked.
“Pizza? Nachos? Maybe even some beer? And I was thinking we could watch that new Marvel movie.”
“Sounds great.”
Hunter adjusted himself and pulled his wallet from his pants pocket. Andy placed a hand over the top of the wallet and glared at Hunter.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Um, giving you some money,” Hunter told Andy.
“Put that away, it’s my treat. And before you get all fatherly and try to talk me out of it, don’t bother. It’s nowhere enough payment to thank you for everything you’ve done for me the last couple of days, and it’s the least I can do.”
“Andy, you don’t—”
“Hush!” Andy ordered, and before Hunter could say anything else, Andy grabbed the phone and dialed the number of the local pizza store.
Walking alongside his mother and Andy, and clutching Lili’s hand, the four of them strolled down the freezer aisle at the supermarket. Despite his constant pleas to his mother and Andy that he didn’t want a huge party for Lili on Valentine’s Day, there they were, shopping for that very occasion. Hunter avoided the supermarket at this time of year. Actually, if he were being honest with himself, he tried to avoid the supermarket, period. Shopping hadn’t really been the same since Bree died. They’d had a regular schedule and even now, walking down each of the aisles, it made him miss her more.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, pumpkin?”
“I want some sprinkles.” Lili smiled as they turned into the aisle of cakes and sweets.
Judith tried to reach for a jar of sprinkles, but it was too high for her small frame. Noticing her struggle, Hunter reached over the cart and grabbed two jars, and as he bent over to place them on top of the now overflowing cart of groceries, he was positive he noticed Andy checking him out. Not saying a word, he grabbed Lili’s hand again, and they strolled through the remaining aisles before finally making their way to the check-out. The curvaceous brunette behind the register began scanning their groceries one by one as Andy grabbed Lili by the hand and escorted her outside. Hunter’s eyes gazed through the window in front of him as he watched Andy peel a banana for Lili. That was when he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head.
“Ouch,” he said, turning to face his mother. “What was that for?” he asked, rubbing the spot.
“For being a total schmuck.”
“Excuse me?” Hunter questioned.
“Oh, Hunter. It pains me to see that Andy has eyes for you and you’re totally ignoring the signs. Either that, or you’re blind, I haven’t worked out which one yet.”
“I beg your pardon?” Hunter asked.
“You heard me. Stop trying to pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, Mom, and honestly, this isn’t exactly the ideal location for this conversation.”
“Well, would you prefer we had this conversation in the car, in the presence of Andy and my grandchild?”
“What I would prefer is for you to drop it, Mother. My love life is none of your business,” he told her.
“Of course, what would I know, I’m only your mother,” she replied, her voice full of sarcasm.
“That’ll be one hundred thirty-five dollars and twenty-seven cents,” the brunette behind the counter told him.
Judith reached for her purse, but Hunter grabbed her hand. “Mom, I got this,” he said.
“Good, then I’ll meet you at the car.” She gave him a wicked grin which Hunter was all too familiar with. He finished paying the cashier before making his way out the sliding doors and over to the car.
They hadn’t even been in the car five minutes when Judith twisted in the back seat to face Andy. “So … Andy, any girlfriends? Boyfriends?”
Andy was completely shocked by the question, but not as shocked as Hunter, it would seem, who had a look on his face as if he were about to commit murder.
“Ah … um, I …” Andy stuttered.
“You don’t have to answer that, Andy.”
Hunter glared at his mother through his rearview mirror, and all he wanted to do was strangle the woman.
“Drop it, Mom,” Hunter ordered.
“What? I’m just making conversation,” she replied.
“I know exactly what you’re doing, and just drop it.”
“To answer your question, Judith, no, I’m not seeing anyone,” Andy told her.
A wide smile covered her face as she looked at Hunter before turning her eyes to the road again. Hunter shook his head and gazed at Andy through the rearview mirror, rolling his eyes and mouthing the words, “I’m sorry,” as he continued to drive home.
After unpacking the groceries, the constant death glares she was getting from Hunter told Judith she’d overstayed her welcome. She said goodbye to Andy before kissing Lili and Hunter and making her way toward the door. Hunter followed her, and as she opened the door to leave, she turned and looked at him.
“I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, and for what I said today. I overstepped the boundaries.”
“Yeah, you did, Ma, but I know it’s because you love me and you
want what’s best for me. But next time, when I tell you to stay out of my love life, please listen to me.”
“Noted,” she replied. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” she said, kissing him on the cheek.
“Bye, Mom,” he replied as she walked through the door, closing it behind her.
Hunter leaned against the door and when he looked into the kitchen, he saw Andy there with Lili as she helped put the groceries away in their correct location in the fridge and pantry. Love; it had always made him do crazy things, and even though he still had several reservations about falling in love and being with someone else again, he couldn’t help the happiness he felt whenever he was around Andy. Emotions were crazy right now, but Hunter tried to push the unexplained feelings he had for Andy out of his mind.
“I’ll light the fire,” he said, pushing off the door and heading into the living room.
As he kneeled down in front of the fireplace, he heard someone approach him and looked up to see Andy hunched over him.
“Hey!” Andy said, eyes roaming all over Hunter, and placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey,” was all Hunter managed to respond.
God, why the hell does this feel like I’m talking to a complete stranger?
“You okay?” Andy asked.
“Yeah, I… uh, I’m sorry about Mom.”
“Don’t worry about it. Your mom is totally cool, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.”
“Well, I sure as hell did,” Hunter muttered.
“She’s your mother, she only wants the best for her boy.”
As Hunter placed some wood on the fire, Andy withdrew the hand from his shoulder. Hunter turned and faced his best friend, studying the features he’d grown so accustomed to over the recent weeks.
“I know that, but sometimes I wish she wouldn’t try so hard to embarrass me.”
The two of them made their way back into the kitchen where Lili was standing with a cheese stick in one hand and a carrot stick in the other.
“You’re going to spoil your dinner,” Hunter told her with a smile.
“I’m sorry, Daddy, my tummy was making funny noises,” she replied.
“That means you’re hungry,” Andy said cheerfully. “Why don’t I make us some dinner?”
“No, you don’t have to cook,” Hunter said.
“Please, I want to.” Andy kneeled down in front of Lili and asked, “What would you like for dinner, princess?”
“Daddy, Andy called me a princess, just like you do.”
“Yes, pumpkin, because you are a princess,” Hunter told her.
“I want pancakes,” she said cheerfully.
“Pancakes?” Andy questioned.
“Yeah, chocolate pancakes,” Lili said, clapping her hands together.
“Okay, pancakes it is.”
A wide grin appeared on her tiny face. “Can I go and play now, Daddy?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Hunter replied.
With a beaming smile at Andy, Lili ran to the playroom to play with her toys.
Andy opened the fridge and removed the ingredients needed for pancakes.
“I think you just became her new best friend.” Hunter’s lips quirked up on one side.
“How can I ever say no to a face like that?” Andy confessed.
As Lili played quietly by herself, the two of them prepared the pancakes, and while they didn’t say much, Hunter was grateful for the company. He’d spent many days and nights alone. Sure, he had his daughter, but she was a constant reminder of the woman whom he’d shared a wonderful, yet limited life with. It was great to have someone else around to distract him from all the unpleasant and sad memories that still wandered through his mind, memories that would stay with him forever.
As the thought of Bree entered his mind, Hunter’s eyes narrowed on Andy, who turned around and threw him a grin. Andy had somehow managed to push all the insecurities about falling in love again out of Hunter’s mind, well, for the moment anyway. It was the first time in many months, years even, that Hunter began to acknowledge things were starting to change dramatically for him, and although it was pleasant, feeling happy again, it also confused the total fuck out of him. He’d been so scheduled when he was with Bree, and he was never afraid to take a leap of faith and go for what he wanted because they always did it together. But the dynamics of things were different now, it was up to him to make all the decisions and take control of his actions, all alone.
In truth, Hunter was actually pretty nervous … no, nervous isn’t the right word, scared. He was scared of making a commitment, scared of the fact that he may actually be able to find happiness again. He had been quite determined to live the rest of his life on his own with his daughter until, well, she was old enough and decided she no longer wanted to live with her daddy.
Leaning over the sink, Hunter washed up and put away the unused ingredients and plates. He didn’t need to turn around to know his best friend was looking at him—he could feel it. As he turned, Hunter allowed his eyes to scan over Andy just as he placed a plate filled with a tower of pancakes on the table. Hunter took a quick swig from the bottle of beer he’d taken out of the fridge earlier, as Lili walked out of her room and sat at the table next to him. As Hunter placed his hands on the table, Andy couldn’t help but notice the huge biceps in Hunter’s arms. Andy was surrounded by guys every single day at the station, and many of them were pumped and ripped, but Hunter, he was something else. He screamed sophistication and total fucking hotness.
When he finished eating, Hunter leaned over to help Lili finish her food. This time he certainly wasn’t mistaken that Andy had caught his eye. Unbeknown to Andy, Hunter had just caught his friend red-handed having a perverted stare. Again, Hunter pushed the idea out of his head. As much as he tried to deny the unexplained feelings he was having toward Andy, Hunter didn’t want to admit it to himself. He got to his feet quickly, trying to avoid the awkwardness that he’d now created at the table. He slid his hands into his pockets, then walked over to the window and looked out into the night sky. Through the window’s reflection, he could see Andy helping Lili with her final pancake before picking up her plate and walking over to the sink where Hunter was now leaning.
“Someone had an appetite,” Andy said, placing the dishes in the sink.
“Huh? Yeah, she loves pancakes, especially when someone other than me makes them.”
“You seem a little flat, Hunter. Are you all right?” Andy questioned.
Hunter finished peering out the window, then turned and crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes meeting Andy’s. It was obvious from the way Andy’s eyes were fixated on him that there was definitely a spark in them.
Damn, this is awkward.
“I’m fine, just really tired. I’ve got the morning shift tomorrow, and I think I might get Lili ready for bed and head there myself.”
“I know, I’m on the same shift with you.”
“You are?” Hunter asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes. Don’t you remember? After I was released from the hospital, you asked Carter to keep our schedules the same so we could keep working together.”
Crap!
Hunter had forgotten that conversation.
“Is it okay if we ride together?” Andy asked.
“Sure,” Hunter said.
“I’ll finish up here and head to bed shortly.”
“Okay,” Hunter replied and walked over to the table.
“It’s time for bed, little miss. How about you say goodnight to Andy and get ready for bed.”
Lili quickly got to her feet and ran across the kitchen. She slammed into the back of Andy who turned around and scooped her up off the floor.
“Goodnight, Andy,” she said.
“Goodnight, princess,” Andy replied, covering her cheeks with kisses.
When her feet were back on the ground, Lili ran through the house toward her bedroom. Hunter heard the door close and
he knew that she was inside preparing for bed.
“Guess I’ll see you in the morning,” Hunter said.
“I guess you will,” Andy replied, stacking the dirty dishes inside the dishwasher.
As Hunter lay in bed, he was unable to shake the feeling that there was something about the way the two of them had looked at each other tonight. He couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but there was definitely something there.
Was he attracted to Andy?
AFTER PULLING INTO the parking lot at the station, Hunter grabbed his jacket and lunchbox and headed inside.
Today was the first day of Andy’s return since the ordeal. Carter had kept reminding Andy that there was no rush to come back, but Andy had insisted on being kept busy and was ready to get back to work.
“Great to have you back, Andy. If there’s anything at all that you need, don’t hesitate to let me know, okay?”
“Thank you, Chief, but I’m fine and just want to get back out there and do my job.”
“Excellent. Well I hope the two of you are ready for the photoshoot, it’s going to be a long and exhausting day.”
The FDNY were fortunate enough to feature in the annual Fire Fighters Valentine’s Day calendar special, next year, and apparently it had slipped his mind with everything else going on around him.
“Christ, the photoshoot’s today?” Hunter gasped.
“Um … yeah? Did you not read the memo, Cassidy? These things take time to plan,” Carter said.
“Memo? What memo?” Hunter replied.
“It’s been in the lunchroom for the past two months, Hunter, not to mention there was an email sent. Of course, you’d know that if you actually checked your emails frequently and left your office to sit in there with the rest of us during lunch once in a while. The shoot is today, and then the prints for the calendar need to be chosen. It’s a year away, but they need to allow for reshoots.”
Hunter put his head down. It was true that he rarely left his office during his shift. The only time he’d leave was if he got an urgent phone call from his mother or the daycare center about Lili, or if they were called out to a fire.
Hunter cocked his head to the side and studied Carter and Andy before shrugging. “What time am I needed?”