Unexpected Love

by J. O Mantel

  “I love you too, Daddy.”

  Squeezing Andy’s hand, the two of them made their way to the door and stepped outside. Finally, it was just Hunter and his mother.

  “Is everything okay, Hunter?” Judith asked.

  “We need to talk, Mom.”

  He stood there and looked at the woman in front of him. So far, he’d managed to keep his shit together, but he felt his patience wearing thin. Any minute now, he was sure he’d shatter into a million pieces and scatter across his carpeted living room. He felt the anxiety rise in his chest for the first time since he’d thought about having this discussion with his mother. Judith looked at him, concern etched across her face. “What would you like to talk about?”

  “I think you know exactly what we need to discuss,” Hunter started in a firm tone. “I’ll make us some coffee, so take a seat, and then you and I are going to have a talk.”

  He walked over to the kitchen and prepared their coffee. His eyes glanced at his mother, and by the way she’d curled her left foot under her right, and clasped her hands together neatly over her waist, Hunter knew she was nervous.

  He returned with the coffees, placing hers on the coffee table in front of her, and wrapping his fingers around his own mug, then sat down on the couch beside her.

  “Start talking, Mom. I want to know everything about the man you call my father.”

  Judith’s eyes twitched, and her fingers trembled. She inhaled a deep breath before reaching out a hand to pick up her cup.

  “What would you like to know?” she asked.

  “For starters, after your marriage ended, where did he really go?” Hunter questioned.

  Judith sighed before she said, “After the divorce, he remarried and flew to Australia, that much I know is true. We didn’t speak for quite some time after that, many years in fact. I was grieving, and trying to get over the many years of hurt and anguish he’d caused both of us, so when I found out he’d gone to the other side of the world, I considered it a blessing. I was hurt that he’d left me for a younger woman, but I knew that as long as he wasn’t around, he couldn’t hurt us anymore, couldn’t hurt me again.”

  Hunter bit his bottom lip and looked away, unsure if he wanted to hear what his mother had to say next. He sat there and watched her nervously drink her coffee. He was old enough to remember his father, and all the nasty and horrible things he’d done to his mother and him.

  As a child, Hunter was abused by his father. The abuse left him with not only the physical scars but also the mental ones. When he confronted his mother about it, she told Hunter that she too had been a victim of his abuse. After he graduated college, they never spoke about him again, but Hunter could tell that he reminded his mother of him by the way she kept referencing his particular traits. Hunter was glad when he finally walked out of their lives, and like Judith, he’d pushed him out of his mind, until now.

  “Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and eventually, a couple of years had gone by. I got home from work one afternoon, on your twenty-fifth birthday, a few years after the attacks, and I found a card in the mailbox. When I opened the card, I saw that it was from your father, or someone who was claiming to be your father, at least. I hadn’t heard from him in years, so I didn’t know if it was really him or not, but I knew he still had our old address.”

  Hunter twisted in his seat and looked at his mother. “You never told me he sent a card.”

  “I kept it from you because I knew what he’d done to both of us. I couldn’t put you through that again. After that, I didn’t hear from him, well, not for several more years anyway,” she told him.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t want him back in our lives. I didn’t want to relive the hell we’d been through. I couldn’t put myself through all that again, I couldn’t put you through it, Hunter.”

  Hunter could feel his blood boiling as he remembered the years of trauma he’d suffered with the man he once called his father. He never, in a million years, thought he’d ever have to relive some of the most painful memories of his childhood. But as his mother sat there, sipping her coffee, her eyes glistening, he knew there was more than what she was letting on.

  “And then what? I know there’s more, Mom,” Hunter questioned.

  “Then everything seemed to be okay until ...”

  Her voice trailed off as she took another sip of her coffee, turning her gaze away from Hunter, who was now glaring at her with wide eyes.

  “Until when, mother?”

  “Until about six years ago, when Lili was born.”

  Hunter sat completely paralyzed as his mother’s words penetrated his brain. His entire body started to ache, and any minute now, he was sure he was going to be sick. Judith lifted her head and looked at her son, she could see the anger and contempt in his blue eyes, eyes that usually held so much love and respect.

  “What does Lili ... Wait, how does he even know about her?”

  Judith remained silent and lowered her head, until Hunter prompted her again, “Mom?”

  “I told him about her.”

  “What? What do you mean, you told him about her?”

  She lifted her gaze to his and continued. “When your father left for Australia after the divorce, I watched a part of my life leave me forever, and I was powerless to stop it. I know the awful things he’d done to us, but he’d been a part of my life for so many years, Hunter. After you were born, he … he changed. He was the loving and loyal father that I knew he would be. He loved you more than anything in this world.”

  “Love? How the hell can you even say that word? Are you forgetting everything he’s done? What about all the years of financial and physical abuse you suffered? All the years I spent trying to please him, to be the son that he wanted me to be. To make the choices he wanted me to make. The life I lived; I was living for him. It wasn’t the life I wanted, I did it all for him, because you both wanted to play happy families. How can you forget all those years he spent controlling our lives, not to mention all the stuff he did to me when I was a teenager?”

  His mother looked at him with a confused expression on her face. “What stuff?”

  He closed his eyes and tried to block out his anger, and keep his heart rate at a steady pace. He sighed before taking in a deep breath to calm himself down, and when he opened his eyes again, he found his mother’s watery ones, peering right back at him.

  “Every night for years, after you and Dad had gone to bed, I’d lay awake in bed, scared because I knew what was coming. After a few minutes, I’d hear the door open, and Dad would call out my name. When I didn’t answer, he’d throw the covers off me and whisper in my ear. He’d tell me that I was a very naughty boy for making him angry and upsetting you, and I needed to be punished. He’d then make me get up and ...”

  Hunter felt a lump in his throat, and he choked on his words.

  “What did he make you do?” Judith asked.

  “He … he made me touch him and do things to him.”

  “He what?” Judith said with a horrified look on her face.

  “As my punishment, he made me touch him and do things to him.”

  Judith’s eyes widened as she stared at her son.

  “Did he … did he ever force himself on you?”

  “Not sexually. But he didn’t need to. The stuff he made me do was bad enough and I ...” Hunter placed a hand over his mouth to try and stop himself from being sick.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Judith asked.

  “Because he threatened to kill me if I did. I was scared, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I took it. When you told me that he’d left and moved to Australia, I was relieved that I’d never have to see him again.”

  Judith leaned forward and brushed her hand down Hunter’s arm. “I’m sorry, baby, I had no idea you went through all that.”

  “Mom, I have to ask, are you still in love with him?”

  When she didn’
t answer, he asked her again, “Mom?”

  “You have to understand, Hunter, your father was the only man I ever loved. Despite what he did, he’s still your father.”

  “So, you expect me to just forgive and forget?”

  “Of course not, but what I’m saying—”

  “I don’t care what you’re saying, Mom. The guy is an asshole and a violent man. He walked out of our lives a long time ago. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead and buried.”

  “You know you don’t mean that.”

  “Don’t I?”

  He wanted to scream at her, tell her she was crazy for still thinking about the man who had supposedly caused her so much anguish. This whole conversation wasn’t making any sense, and Hunter was no closer to the answers he wanted, than he was when they’d first started. He stood and started pacing the room until he finally walked into the kitchen. He stopped and stared at the twinkling city lights, and in the window’s reflection, he could see his mother heading toward him.

  “Hunter. I know this is difficult for you to hear—”

  “Difficult? God, you have no fucking idea,” he said.

  “This was the very reason I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to hurt like you’re hurting now. I was doing it to protect you.”

  He closed his eyes again and made fists out of his hands. If it weren’t for the countertop he was leaning on, he would have smashed his fist through the window. He turned around, folded his arms across his chest, and stared at his mother. Out of everything she’d told him tonight, there was one question that he really wanted the answer to. “How does he know where you live?”

  “Like I said, it took many years after he left, for me to process everything that had happened. For me to for—”

  “Don’t! Don’t you dare say that you forgive him,” Hunter snapped.

  “He’s your father, Hunter. We can’t pretend he doesn’t exist.”

  “No, you can’t seem to pretend that he doesn’t exist, for whatever reason, I don’t know. I’ve done a perfect job of it so far, thank you very much. You still haven’t answered my question. How does he know where you live, and about Lili?”

  “After the attacks on the World Trade Center, he contacted the authorities here in New York. When your name was confirmed as one of the firefighters on the rescue mission, that was when he made the connection and managed to track me down. That was when he started making regular contact with me. We’ve been speaking ever since, and I’m the one who told him about Lili when she was born.”

  Hunter remained perfectly still, the information he’d just received swirling around in his head. His eyes never left his mother’s, which were now bloodshot and teary. He could feel his own eyes well up, and he quickly wiped them with his sleeve. Neither one of them spoke for a few moments, they simply stood in silence, on the verge of anger and discomfort. Divorce had been a dirty word in his household growing up. It was no secret that his father was a monster, which Hunter would have preferred stay buried, but now, thanks to his mother, he felt as if he were reliving it all again.

  “What about his wife?” Hunter asked.

  “The last I heard, they divorced, and she was on her way back to New York.”

  “Uh, well it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. And what about him?”

  “Who?”

  “Don’t make me say his name, Mom. Him, the man you call my father? You said he’s in town. What does he want?”

  “He wants to see you, just to talk.”

  “Talk? He flew ten thousand miles across the world just to talk?” Hunter spat.

  “I know this isn’t easy, Hunter. I can understand if you don’t want to see him, but will you at least call him?”

  As soon as the final words left her mouth, a rush of anger washed over Hunter. There was no way in hell he was going to be in the same room as the man who’d made his life a living hell for years. The man who’d decided to end his marriage for a younger woman and skip town. The man who Hunter swore he’d kill if he ever saw him walking the street.

  “No,” he said coldly.

  “Hunter—”

  “The answer’s no, Mom. You can tell Da … him to go and fuck himself.”

  Hunter saw the look of hurt and disappointment in her eyes, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t even sure how he wanted to feel toward her after all this. She was his mother, and she’d been there for him, Lili, and Bree in recent years, which was more than he could say for the man who was calling himself his father. But what he was feeling right now, was much worse than hurt. He felt betrayed.

  “I think you need to leave, Mom.”

  Judith didn’t say a word. Instead, with trembling lips, she nodded, grabbed her purse, and headed to the door. As she reached for the handle, she turned and looked at her son. “I’m sorry, Hunter.”

  Hunter closed his eyes, holding back the tears that were desperately trying to break free. As the door shut behind Judith, Hunter stared at it with wide eyes for several minutes. He truly felt as if he didn’t know the woman who’d just walked out his door. Instead of giving him answers, she just raised more questions, and Hunter not only felt lost, but also … alone.

  “IT’S GREAT TO see you doing so well.” Stephanie beamed as she embraced Andy in a big hug.

  “Thank you. It’s great to see you again. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to—”

  “No apology necessary. I’m just so glad you’re doing okay,” she cut in.

  Andy gave her a big smile, and as his eyes wandered around the club, he couldn’t help but take in just how much better he felt being back there. Several months had passed since the attack, and while Andy and Hunter never spoke of it again, Hunter always wondered if Andy would ever be able to come back here. It looked so different in the daylight: there was no strobe lighting to brighten the room, instead replaced by natural sunlight, and Andy couldn’t get over how clean the place looked.

  “Can I get you boys something to drink?” she asked.

  “Jim and Coke please,” Hunter said.

  “Martini, dry,” Andy told her.

  They walked over to the bar, Hunter and Andy sat down on two of the bar stools, while Stephanie went behind the counter to prepare their drinks.

  “What time do you usually open this place?” Andy questioned.

  “I’m doing inventory, so I decided to keep the place closed today.”

  She placed their drinks on the counter in front of them, and after pouring one for herself, she walked out from behind the bar and sat beside Andy.

  “I wanted to thank you,” Andy suddenly spoke as he brought the martini glass to his lips.

  “Thank me? For what?” Stephanie asked.

  “For what you did, what you both did,” he said, now turning his gaze to Hunter also. “I know I haven’t spoken about this since it happened, and I know I told you I wanted to get on with my life, Hunter, but I couldn’t live with the guilt of not thanking you for what you did for me that night.”

  Every single emotion in Hunter’s body hit him hard, like a ton of bricks. He didn’t feel sad, no, sad was nothing compared to how he’d felt the night it happened. All Hunter wanted to do that night was find whoever had done that to Andy and make them pay. He wanted to turn back time and stop Andy from walking out of that club, but he’d promised Andy and himself, that he’d drop it and no matter how difficult that proved, he was going to try.

  “You seem to forget what we do for a living, Andy. We save lives and protect the people we care about. That night I wasn’t just saving a life, I was saving my best friend.”

  As the words escaped him, Hunter felt his body react, the same way it always reacted whenever he was around Andy. He also couldn’t help notice the way Stephanie was looking at both he and Andy. Growing up, Hunter was always taught that men don’t cry, they deal with their emotions, and don’t break down in the face of death. But that was all bullshit, and he knew there was no way in h
ell anyone could tell him how he could and couldn’t feel.

  “So … this is twice now that you’ve been in my bar, and I don’t know much about either of you, except what you’ve already told me that day I came over to see you,” Stephanie said, taking a sip of the blue liquid in her tall glass.

  “Well, as Hunter mentioned, we’re both firefighters for the FDNY.”

  “So, you know each other through work?” she questioned.

  “That’s how we met initially, yes,” Hunter added.

  “What he means is, we met each other at work, but we’ve become close over the years.”

  “Very close,” Hunter finished.

  Andy stared at Hunter with wide eyes and wondered exactly what he’d meant by that last comment. Hunter wasn’t sure where those words had come from either, or why he gave voice to them. Something in his heart told him that it felt right though, all of it.

  Sensing the hesitancy in Hunter’s voice, Stephanie raised her glass to her lips once more and asked, “Is there a Mrs. Andy?”

  Andy almost choked on his drink as he and Hunter broke out in laughter.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Mrs. Andy?” Andy said.

  “Well, I don’t know your last name, it’s all I had to go with.”

  “It’s Valentine,” he told her. “And no, there’s no Mrs. Andy.”

  She now focused her eyes on the blue ones peering back at her. “And what about you, Hunter?”

  “I … uh … I was married, once. I’m widowed now.”

  The smile on Stephanie’s face was replaced with sorrow. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  “That’s okay, you weren’t to know. I lost my wife to leukemia some years ago, and we have a daughter, Lili.”

  “She must be very special.”

  “She is.” Hunter smiled.

  A sudden sense of sadness overwhelmed Hunter. Every day since her passing, he missed Bree, and he never stopped thinking about her, but as he sat here in the bar, he couldn’t help but notice how Stephanie’s eyes were looking between him and Andy.

  “So, you’re both single, eligible bachelors.”

  They both let out a boisterous laugh and looked at one another. It scared Hunter when he realized how much he found himself reacting to everything Andy was saying. The stubborn side of him was screaming to ignore it, and just let it go, while his other side was screaming to touch and explore Andy in every possible way. Hunter knew Andy was warm, friendly, loving, and sensitive, not to mention he couldn’t deny he did find the man extremely attractive. It was because of that, that maybe he wanted to explore more than he was admitting to. When it came to Andy, everything was different, and that scared the fuck out of Hunter.